Dear Meg,

I want to start over… before it’s over? I would like very much to try and redeem myself for the damage my actions have caused. I realize that I’m not perfect. I used to try and act as if I was. But that didn’t work out and, in the end, it made me seem as if I wasn’t true to my word. Moving forward, I realize that there is something I can do to prevent errors on my part and that’s why I created my rules a couple of years ago.

Rule 1: No Drama. Leave that shit at the door.

I tried so very much to be individualistic and forward thinking, but the fossils came up and I couldn’t sit idly by. I try to do right by what I think is the right thing to do. As I’ve said, I’m new to the new doom community. I joined the discords early this month (01.03.18). Since then, I’ve been caught up in what has happened and what is currently going on – trying to catch up. I’ve been trying to fix the world, one person, one community at a time and I finally realized that it’s impossible task. But nonetheless, Aleena was the first person to invite me to the discords and was being taken advantage of by Asshole. I tried to walk the wire in the beginning and hold the line, but in the end, I had to pick… Save Bastilla or kill Darth Malek. I choose to save Bastilla. And I’d do it again. I don’t want to see bodies start to pile up on my watch.
Rule 2: If you’re going to make a decision based on either ego or emotion you need to re-evaluate it.

This was something I came up with to help keep me clear on the line, and so far, it has worked. I’ve been humble, humiliated and everything in between. I’ve taken abuse from people because it was the right thing to do. I’m not full of myself or too emotional based because those two things change people. When it comes to you, I feel myself making decisions based off of my emotions. Last night (3/20/18) proved my point. I’ve let you down. And sometimes I’m far from good… but it’s still me.

Rule 3: Sometimes you just need to shut the fuck up.

I’m just going to get it out of the way that I didn’t. I just started up my motor mouth and it kept going. I broke Rule 3. I thought I was helping, but in the end, it only made things worse.
Rule 4: Be Respectful.

I’m an open-minded person, and I want to hear both sides of an argument before making a decision. I did. I choose your side. And since then, I launched a campaign to correct the facts. I’ve been respectful and courteous to everyone on discord except Asshole (even though I was in the beginning). I tried to understand these memes and these anime references. I might not like them, but it’s something new, something I might like. I’m not a bad person, but I get caught up in the events around me and I went back out on the wire. There’s times when we have to walk away, and there will be tears, but they will fade. It’s the price we pay for love.
Rule 5: Don’t apologize, it’s a sign of weakness.

I’m going to just skip the one, as I can’t in good faith justify this one at the present time.

Rule 6 & 7: Look above and Look below.

These refer to checking and looking for all the facts. I did then when I had to choose between the light and the dark. I choose the light for the truth and facts, but in the end, I prefer the gray. I really don’t fit in either category. But if one thing holds true however, I will do whatever I can to help my family and those I care about.
Rule 8: Sometimes you’re wrong.

It’s no mystery that we all have our moments and that’s good. It’s how we grow as people. I was wrong to think I could cure all the worlds problems. But I might as well save as many people as I can. And there is one… I thought there might be something more. Being wrong is ok, as long as we learn from it there is nothing more to be gained.

Rule 9: When the job is done…. walk away.

If someone wants me to go, I’ll leave with no questions asked. But when everything is all set and done, the words have been said. The emotions have flowed. The facts have been laid out, there’s nothing more to do but walk away.
Rule 10: Never date a classmate, or a coworker (amended)

I met someone who was interested in me, so I decided to change my rules (or rather just this one). You decided to put your foot in the door. I welcomed it with open arms and I enjoyed our time. But then, I had a bad day yesterday and didn’t listen to what my horoscope said and I ended up, in my opinion blowing up bridges. Truth is, I’m not the average guy. I’m the exception. How many smart good looking law students play doom? Or subscribe to being honest, responsible, respectful, and who have integrity? Whose word is true because they have proven it, time and time again? Or those who try to do the right thing no matter the price. The cost of freedom is high, but it’s a price I’m willing to pay But I’m not without my faults, that’s what makes me human. I amended the rule because of you, because I thought it was a good thing. And I still think it is.
Rule 11: Bend the line, don’t break it.

When I wrote that, it was supposed to give me a feeling that if I broke a rule I would break this one as well. But when doing the right thing means laying it all on the line, I’ll break it. At least I can sleep at night. For instance, I broke whenever I went after Shawn or even when I talked to your friends about the school shooting. I have nothing against them, and I’d bet they’d like me when they got to know me too. All in all, no matter what, I’ll do whatever I need to, to insure justice and law and order are upheld. Even in cyberspace.

Rule 12: There is no such thing as a coincidence.

This one never had a chance to come up, but it speaks true nonetheless.

Everyone needs a code they can live by. But, If you ever want to join me, I’ll be dancing in the dark.
Back to me: We all have our off days.(edited)
I hope you might offer redemption.