Thread 110: Stories 1-15

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>Canterlot Pony
"CP2"
~~

>Oh, hey, look at that. Giant airship coming down.

"Yep."

>...

"...So, um... is this, like, an actual invasion?"

>Dunno.

"Do changelings have airships?"

>I guess they could take one over?

"Wouldn't be hard, yeah."

>...I miss it when our problems could get shot with magic necklaces.

"Goooood times."

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>Chitania
"13"
'41'
~~

Finding her had been simplicity itself. She had prepared for this, just in case it were to ever happen again.

Was she a touch paranoid to devise a way to locate her daughter, no matter where she may be? Perhaps. But she certainly doesn't feel bad about it.

Nonetheless, she understood the shocked look in her daughters eyes when she found the pair of changelings that had run off a bit ago. They must think her incapable of such a way to track her without magic.

Good.

"Mom?"

>We're leaving.

She wasted no more breath on words or explanations, as rude as she knew it to be, before scooping her up by the scruff of her neck and placing her upon her back, the smaller, sickly changeling struggling and flailing all the way.

"What do you think you're doing!?"

The moment she was sure she was settled, she turned back.

>I said, we're leaving.

"Excuse me!? I'm not done yet!"

>You are now. Things are happening, and we need to go, now. Before it gets worse.

"Whoa whoa! STOP!"

Against her better judgement, she did so. Her daughter always had a way to make her listen, it seemed...

'Yeah, can you clue me in here?''

A glare silenced the much smaller warrior, sending her shuffling back with little more than a look of real power.

"Mom!"

>...There has apparently been a reveal of some sort in the Empire. One of your fellow hivemates has been standing in and doing royal duties for that pink princess.

"Who? Forty Two?"

>I do not recall the number, but that doesn't seem right.

"Eighteen?"

>...Hrm, I think that was it. How did you know?

"This doesn't take a lot of deduction here, unless Two is a savant on another level."

>Hm?

"She was my third choice, by the way."

>Hrm. Long story short, the ponies are irritated, and talking of infiltration and invasion.

'Uh, yeah! Hivemind Beyond, what was Eighteen thinking!? You can't impersonate a-'

Another look, more silence.

'Sorry.'

>As I was saying, they have begun to amass. I feel it is time to make an exit until-

"Go back."

Even now, to hear those words spoken so brazenly, so confidently, filled her with mixed emotions. Of course she was proud that she would have so much confidence in her, and of course she wanted to encourage this and have it grow.

But there would always be the part of her that wanted to snarl her back into submission for talking to her like that.

>I don't think you understand, there is a mob.

"That's exactly what I understand, and why I said it. Go. back."

She turned to the little one on her back, doing her very best to keep her expression neutral. No anger, no irritation, that was her goal, and she set out to do it.

Followed by her failing with all the grace of a whale trying to win a diving competitions

>I am not bringing you into enemy territory. We are leaving.

"Then go get my hive and bring them with us!"

It stung. To her chest, it stung to hear that. She could only move past it as best she could.

>That would involve either leaving you alone or bringing you into the fray. Neither of which I am willing to do.

"I can handle myself, thank you!"

>It's not about what you can handle.

That, at last, seemed to be the wallbreaker, the thing that shattered through the pride and the looks that she held. Those words, at last, spoke to her.

"...I'm not going to leave you again, I said."

>None of them wanted to either.

She winced, even more of her fire dispelled.

"This isn't the same situation."

>No, it's not... I didn't get to rip off anyone's head before the mob started this go round.

"They're not going to do something like that!"

>...I thought that too, once.

The distance between them closed as her massive head rolled back, her gargantuan cheek touching the top of the smaller changelings head.

>I'm not taking the risk.

"...I don't want to lose them either. Don't you understand that?"

She did. Even if she could not bring herself to say it, she did.

"Please. You're there this time, they're alive this time. You can do something, this time."

>I could lose everything this time. They're not worth the risk.

"They are to me. My hive is worth protecting."

Nothing more came from the titan. Instead, she remained, as still as a mountain that she so resembled in her other form.

"Please... for me?"

She said nothing. No affirmative... no denial. It lasted for a time, for a second or an eternity she did not know, but whichever it was it drug out forever, until the only other changeling could take no more.

'Um-'

>Get on my back.

Stunned silence was her only response.

>I said...

At least, until those eyes looked to her once more.

>Get. On. My. Back.

'U-uh... okay.'

Without argument, she took her place.

'But, why?'

"Because she doesn't want you slowing her down."

There was something in her voice, a tone she wasn't used to hearing from the unlucky little ling.

Excitement.

"Hang on."

'Hang on for whaaaHHHHAHHHHHH!'

She did indeed hang on for dear life as the Titan tore off into a gallop, her speed full tilt, her hooves tearing apart the ground as she raced.

She would be faster, this time.

She would make it there, this time.

She would protect them, this time. All of them...

This time would be different.

"WHEEEEE!"

Even if there were some things she would never change.

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OOCO
>AJ
"???"
~~~

>...What am Ah' gonna do about this... OH! Maybe iffin' she picks up the-

"Picks up the what?"

>GAHHHHHHHHHH!

"..."

>AHHHHHHhhhhhhlight! How are ya'!

"Erm, picks up the what?"

>...Toys! Picks up her toys! Ah'm talkin' about Applebloom!

"Then... why are you writing it down?"

>...Wanna make it official! Gonna have it notarized and everything!

"Like, legally?"

>Most official kind!

"Doesn't that seem pretty extreme?"

>Ya' ain't never stepped on a buildin' block at six in the morning.

"Fair enough?"

>...

"...You know, I know a lot about books-"

>LOOK! SPIKE GOT INTA' THE CHOCOLATE!

"DON'T YOU DARE YOU LIZARD I NEED THAT!"

SLAM!

>...Picks up the sign and smacks 'smarthorse' right on her nosey little noggin. That's what she does.

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Non-Canon
>Pinkie
"AJ"
~~~~
>Welcome to Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content doesn't matter, and conclusions can be temporarily skipped when folks are sleepy, but still want something to happen! Now for our main guest...APPLEJACK!!!

"Howdy, y'all."

>While I'm still in this format, have you ever smashed an apple on somepony's face?

"Well one time, me and mah cousin Peach got in a fight right. Ah think it was over something silly like, what was going to go into the gumbo. Anyway at one point things got pretty physical and we ended up in the mud hole. Then we-"

>Uh okay that's enough. We're out of time now.

"Oh...well if ya want to ever hear the whole story, Ah can always-"

>That's our show and thanks for tuning in!
AJ wakes up.

"Aw...well cousin Peach discovered what can fit in her rectum that day."

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>Applejack
"???"
~~~~

She was frozen. Locked, limbs unmoving as she looked to the masses crowded around those she had promised to protect. Not a one, she said. She had meant every word as she spoke it, true and honest as she was capable and then some. So to find her limbs unwilling to even twitch was hanging on her, gripping her chest as much as it did her legs.

She wanted to go protect them, of course. But Ponyville was not asking for blood, or imprisonment, or retribution. No, they asked for something far more sinister.

Answers.

They wanted to know the truth, how deep this whole affair went. Though she knew the changelings could not answer that, that for the most part they were as clueless as any to this whole charade, she knew them. She could answer every question they had, and she knew it.

And that is precisely why she could not move.

She did not want them to ask if she had known about this deception, for then she would have to admit she did. She did not want to see their faces when she was forced to admit that she had not only known, but endorsed it. On a couple occasions, she even used the changeling for help as well. That, she understood, is what kept her limbs in place.

It was a situation she couldn't believe, could barely understand, but here they all were wanting nothing but a little truth, some honesty, and she was terrified to give it to them. She couldn't step forwards to protect them, not yet, not until she figured out how to get around those shouts and screams.

The sad part was realizing there was a way, there was a very easy way.

Lie again.

Either by simply keeping her mouth shut on the whole ordeal, as she had, or simply saying she wasn't in the know and it wasn't her business. Either one was a lie, she knew, either one was dishonest, but the alternative was the chaos that would follow them knowing that the royals they so trusted with their livelihood had been complacent in such an event.

Neither one was a good option.

If they were panicking now, she didn't want to know what would happen when they learned the real truth. At best, they were probably going to force every changeling out of Ponyville, permanently. Worst part is, she couldn't even blame them. Might've joined them, just a couple months ago.

Her charges needed protection, she had sworn to protect them, but she couldn't turn her back on her hometown. She had grown up in this place, she knew it like she knew her own hoof. But now, she knew that in order to actually protect them, to do what she had promised to Chrysalis and herself to fix their image, there was only one answer.

If she lied, if she said she didn't know anything about this and that neither did the hive, she could at least mitigate it. She could probably convince them all if she just bent the truth a little bit. She was Applejack! They threw her a celebration once for stopping some cows. They knew she was trustworthy and honest as can be, so if she just came up and said she didn't know, the lings didn't know, and Eighteen had acted on her own, well, it wasn't all a lie. It's not like this was actually an invasion or infiltration, she knew that much, she just knew that if she actually said it to them, after they learned she had hidden it from them for so long, it's possible, likely even, they wouldn't believe her.

She could lose the trust of her entire hometown, or instead, she could just leave. She could take the changelings without a word, drag them back to Canterlot despite the dangers, shove them through the portal, and that would be that. Ponyville would never even question if she had a part in this if she just acted right now, she could keep all of that recognition, all of her friends and the home she had grown up in, if she just acted.

She didn't even have to lie to their faces, just act.

Just move, grab them and go.

Sure, Canterlot was probably a problem, but she could probably protect them. They could take care of themselves, even. It wouldn't look good, bailing after such an event, but it would keep her promise, and it would protect her hometown from the truth.

But if she did, there would be no going back. The changelings would be gone, and they weren't returning ever. Her whole trip, her whole effort, gone. But at least the lings would be safe, that was the most important part, wasn't it? That was what was most vital.

So why couldn't she move?

She was stuck, afraid, and just plain didn't know what to do. There was no tall white alicorn to blame this go round, no friend of magic who would swoop in and use her big brain to solve the problem. The blame was shared, and she was alone.

She didn't know what to do.

"Applejack? You going to get in there?"

Her students words, rather than encouraged her, only made her more tense, less willing to move than she had been before, if that was even possible.

>Ah'm... not sure what to do.

"Isn't it obvious? Just go in there and tell everyone to back off!"

>...Why?

She never looked to her new student, her eyes unable to move from the sight in front of her face.

>Why should they back off? Don't they deserve ta' know?

"Well, doing it like this isn't going to help!"

>Doing it the other way didn't help either.

"Well, then go tell the truth!"

>... Should I?

She looked to her, with desperate, pleading eyes. She was begging her, her own student, with that look. She was honestly asking, looking for answers.

>Is that the right thing to do? Should Ah' just go be honest? Tell everyone? They won't... trust me anymore. Nobody will. Is that worth it?

Needing them, just to hear it from someone else.

"I... I mean, maybe?"

Destroyed, when she didn't get it.

>What do ya' mean, maybe!?

The afflicted pony backed away, taken off by her mentors sudden outburst and advancement.

"I don't know!"

>Why don't ya' know!? Ain't you supposed to be super smart or something!? Come on, ya' thought ya' had all the answers before, what's the right thing ta' do now?!

"I said I don't know!"

>Why not!? Why don't you know!?

"Applejack stop!"

She did. She stopped in her oddly powerful advancing, stopped her bearing down on the frightened, genuinely afraid thing.

>...Go help them.

"Applejack-"

>Yer teacher just said ta' go help keep that gaddang mob from getting to the changelings, so stop arguing and do it!

Authoritative, strong, commanding as she pointed her hoof to the crowd...

And about as authentic and real as a 'diamond' being sold attached to a plastic gold necklace in an alleyway.

"...You know, Celestia didn't tell me a lot of stuff back then too."

Slowly, that orange hoof lowered back to the ground.

"And you know what the worst part of it was? I didn't even care if she was right, if I wasn't ready, if it would've been better not to know it yet. The part that stung me before I left was knowing that someone I admired... didn't think I could handle it."

Bitterly, she shoved past the stock still princess, going off to do her duty as commanded.

"Maybe she was right... she probably was, that I wasn't ready, that I couldn't handle it, that I shouldn't have known yet. I get that, I get that it was probably better if I didn't know it just yet, or maybe ever at all... but nothing hurts more than learning someone you trust, someone who says you can be great and do great things, thinks it's better if you just don't know some things, and it would be better if you stopped looking. Knowing you can't handle it... it just isn't the same as being told you can't handle it. Even if they're right."

She kept going, until she joined those poor beleaguered guards in holding everyone back from the huddled mass of black chitin. She joined without further complaint or argument, and left her alone.

Without a single answer given.

>...What am Ah' supposed to do...

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 >JJ
"32"
'Acty'
[88]
~~

>What the heck happened to you?

"Oh, you know, I stubbed my hoof this morning, my coffee was just a bit too hot, I thought happy thoughts so of course the world decided I needed to be punished"

'Er, you okay boss?'

"Chipper! Just chipper!"

[Is he that bad? I'm afraid to look.]

"Not the time!"

[I'm just asking]

"...Toss me back out."

>I would if it wouldn't let them in, and I can only do my trick once I think!

"Trick?"

'Don't ask. So! Boss! What do we do?'

"Curse that moron who knocked me into the ceiling for being so thirsty and not just leaving that inept ninny to bring her Empire to fiery ruin. Because oh, investing in a marital aide instead of endlessly chasing married tail is so much better!"

>...Aren't they dating?

"ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS!?"

'He is, and they are.'

"...fuck her."

[Didn't you hear? She's taken.]

"FUCK YOU!"

[Not with that attitude!]

"...ugh."

[So, what do we actually do now?]

"Divide up the stallions evenly and wait for someone to come tell these morons to stop scratching my door."

[DIBS ON THE WHITE ONE!]

"..."

'...'

>...h-how...

[He smells white.]

'Wha... what?'

>...

*Sniff sniff*

'JJ!'

>I had to know!

[HA!]

"This is going to be a long day."

[Anyone want to play monopony while we wait?]

'Sure!'

>I'm game.

"..."

[Awww, come on 32! It's.. out of sight!]

'AHAHAHAHAHAHHA!'

"SUICIDE IT IS!"

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OOCO
>Celestia
"AJ"
'SA'
~~~|

>So is this a... Revenge thing? Are you getting revenge on me? If so, I feel offended he got skipped over.

"No, it ain't a revenge thing, it's a 'You two broke my dang bed' thing."

'I'm pretty sure every tabloid writer in the world is now harboring a lost love for what could have been. To record that would have put then in the Mareibbian easy.'

"Why are you here anyway!?"

>Says the actual invader. Bubblehorse is allowed in my bed anytime he wants!

"..."

>I'm starting to see it.

"..."

>I don't take it back.

"Just shush and go ta bed!"

>Really? But me and Shiny were going to paint our hooves!

"He polishes them enough when he's alone, he's fine."

>OHHH HO!

'I like how you don't question her painting my hooves.'

"Ain't like her wife is gettin any color on hers from you."

>DAMN!

'... You're mean when you're sleepy.'

"Only one fix for that. GO TO BED!"

'..'

>... This is the worst sleepover ever.

"SLEEP!"

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>SA
"42"
~~~

>....

"You look ready to cry."

>...They....

"..."

>They want me to double check everything... everything... to make sure which parts were Cadence, and which were Eighteen.

"Shouldn't that only take two seconds?"

>She did a few... she did a few, Forty Two. And now I have to find them.

"..."

>I have to find them all.

"As in-"

>Search through all of that... and find which ones were Cadence.

"Ah."

>...I have to find them all.

"Well, maybe you'll get lucky and find them quick?"

>...

"Perhaps there isn't as many papers as it seems?"

>...

"...Will... will punches help?"

>...

"Erm... h-hugs?"

>...Hugs would be wonderful.

"Okay."

>....

"...oh! Um... me?"

>...

"...S-sure, hugs then."

>Thank you.

"Please don't cry on me, I already do not know what to do."

>No promises.

"...h-help."

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 >Awkwardling
"Maud"
~~~

>...

"..."

>...

"...You seem bothered."

>Uh... n-nahhh, me? I'm peachy, peachy keen. Peacheroony. Peach and fuzz, whole nine yards.

"You are not supposed to eat the fuzz on peaches."

>No? Well, shoot! Did something else wrong, whoops!

"What was the first thing?"

>Huh?

"You said did something else wrong, what was the first thing?"

>Oh... nothing.

"If it was nothing, then the 'else' wouldn't have fit."

>Oh, right. Grammar sucks?

"..."

>...I think me being here was the first thing.

"How so?"

>I just... get looks now. I didn't used to get looks. Think that Shining Armor getting me the job was... suspicious? Not to say you guys aren't totally right to be suspicious and even I would be suspicious if I wasn't me not you have a reason to be suspect I just mean I understand why you did but shouldn't because....

"..."

>...Sorry.

"For what?"

>...N-nothing, nevermind. Sorry.

"...You are not suspicious. You are nice."

>T-thanks...

"..."

>...

"..."

>...

"...I enjoy our talks.'

>...me too.

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>MM
"29"
'Trixie'
[Zecora]
~~~

'WHELP! TRIXIE IS OUT OF THINGS TO HURT HERSELF WITH! She is officially just done! Gone! Not from lack of effort, but simply lack of things existing to hurt herself with! She's done! One of you can distract them now!'

>Um...

'...um what.'

"They wandered off a little bit ago."

'...'

>...they did.

'...And you didn't tell Trixie... Why?'

>We tried.

[Your profession is probably badly chosen, though I know you are a dreamer. Because, as it turns out, you are really quite the screamer.]

'TRIXIE IS NOT THAT LOUD!'

>Erm... good job! You did such an amazing show, they felt such striking sympathy for you that they could not bare to look at you hurting you anymore. You really endeared yourself to the crowd, Trix! Good job!

'...Trixie will take it. She knows it is a lie, but she will take it.'

>Good, that's the best I have...

"But have no fear, instead they have all chose to mob around... oh."

>Oh.

[Oh.]

'Trixie is not doing this again.'

"We wouldn't ask you to, watching you hurt yourself for mine own sake was... I did not like it."

'Like she said, Trixie will take it.'

>Wow, that is some angry chanting.

"Zecora? It... might come to pass that I will have to stay with thee for a time."

[Do you have any reason to think this is not fine? You are always free in any home that is mine.]

"My thanks."

[Though I will warn you now, and this is not up for debate. If you try to steal the covers, into your ear I will berate.]

"Erm... why would that be an issu-"

>Nah, Niney doesn't steal covers, or take up most of the bed really. Only issue is that he breaths into your ear sometimes.

'...'

"..."

>Nobody heard that, right?

"If I get lynched, I'm blaming you."

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>Lyra
"Bonbon"
~~~

>Wait, why are we mobbing again?

"Mobbing!? The sugarbits are you talking about, who's being a mob!?"

>...Us?

"What gave you that idea!?"

>The torches, mostly. Are the torches really necessary?

"Well, it is kinda hard to see."

>Right, but the pitchforks?

"I think that's just for prodding ponies in the front along."

>What about the ropes?

"I think they were just carrying those and got caught up in the not-mob."

>Okay, what about that gun.

"Ponies can just have guns! There's no laws against carrying them!"

>...I feel like there should be.

"Yeah, we probably should implement that at some point."

>...Soooo, what're we doing?

"Asking the changelings if they are invading."

>Why the screaming?

"It'd be hard to hear otherwise."

>And shoving the guards?

"They're in the way!"

>...Are we-

"WE ARE NOT MOBBING!"

>...

"...Just shut up and hold the torch."

>Why are you sticking the pitchfork over the fire?

"To make it hotter, obviously."

>...

"For... sterilization purposes? In case someone gets poked?"

>Just hold the fucking fire.

"I don't even know what's going on..."

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 >Suckerpunch
~~

>....Okay, this has gotten stupid. Where the fuck is Forty One!? She was right in front of me, and then apparently I just looped for no fucking reason!... And how did I get lost in the middle of these trees!? They're not even that thick! AND WHERE AM I!?... Oh! Look! Light! Thank goodness! I just have to follow them and... and mob. There is a mob. There is a very, very big mob, and they are surrounding my fellow guards and the changelings and they are yelling very loudly about invasion or something and HOLY FUCK WHAT DID I MISS!?... I WAS GONE FOR LIKE TEN MINUTES! COME ON!... Huh, that gypsy was right, this shit did happen to me today. I owe her six bits, I guess.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 >32
"88"

>This is horrible, terrible! All because something went wrong in Happy True Love Orgy Land! Why are WE getting the shaft over this!? What did we ever do to anyone!?

"Well we did kill like...a LOT of Gryphons that one time."

>...oh. Right.

"And that other time in Neighpon with those ninja brothers I tricked into killing each other."

>Yeeees...

"Oh, and duh, Stalliongrad. Wow that village burned brightly."

>Nngh...

"Heh, oh, and Goatopolis. Wow, toppling governments was a hoot-"

>Pleasestoptalking.

"Just saying, karmically I at least am at peace with this...wow, like, I have killed a loooooot of people."

'BOSS WHAT THE FUCK!?'

>SHE IS NOT REPRESENTATIVE OF OUR WHOLE RACE!

-WHAT HE SAID!-

"Slowly, even."

>-SHUT UP!-

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>Coltsly
"Assistant"
~~~

"SO MUCH MONEY!"

>Is... is this ethical?

"SO MUCH!"

>I feel like this is unethical.

"I CAN SWIM IN IT!"

>I mean, I'm glad our sales exploded like they did, but it's clearly a cause of civil unrest. What if someone uses one of our robots to do something horrible?

"ALL OVER MY BODY!"

>Sales wise, it would be terrible to pass up this opportunity, our security bots are flying off the stands! But moral wise, is it right to exploit ponies fears and arm them with weapons in such a time? Should we really be doing this now? Should we at least make them wait until the chaos dies down? But by then, they might not buy from us, or worse they'll buy an inferior one from our competitor! Is it right to sell them so at least they'll be as prepared as they can be? After all, maybe there is a reason they'll need it, maybe there is something to defend them against! But if there isn't... are we just arming a mob with more advanced pitchforks and torches, wrapped in mechapony skin?

"..."

>...

"WE HAVE ALL THE BITS!"

>...I think I need a vacation.

"I AM SO HAPPY."

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

OOCO
>Twilight
‘Spike’
[Dash]
(FS)
-AJ-
“Rarity”
+Pinkie+
The seven of them stood in a room in the lower reaches of the palace, not far from where the forge was situated. A cryptic summons from their green and purple compatriot had brought the other six here standing around a long table covered by a plane canvas.

>Alright Spike, everyone’s here now, why did you get us all down here?

‘I’m glad you asked Twilight, ahem, Ladies Gentle-er….Ladies! May I present, the ‘Arsenal of Harmony’!

With a flourish he whipped off the covering to reveal 5 beautifully crafted pieces of weaponry.
‘You all know Charity, versatile, reliable, with many different ammo types for any situation, communications, and a grappling hook. Really the best sidearm I could ever ask for and my number one gal.’

“Ohoho, of course darling…”

‘In terms of munitions.’

-Haw!-

“Hmph!”
‘Then there’s Crackerjack, my faithful backup piece. She’s never let me down when I needed her. Not as versatile, but does take both pistol and shotgun rounds, and even comes with a detachable blade!’

-S’good piece o’hardware right there. You oughta use it more often.-

‘You may have a point. But I was thinking to myself that while these are good, they can’t handle every scenario, and since I can carry other stuff with my dragon card, why not add a bit?’

+OO! OO! Me! Pick ME!!!!+

‘…pinkie?’

+Because you can only reasonably handle 2 at once and switching takes time and you’ll rarely find situations where you NEED a specific weapon AND have time to prepare it?!+

‘…I’m going to ignore the validity of those points as I’m most of the way through this project already.’

+Aww…..+

‘So! Next up is Beneficence. Benni for short, she’s a grenade launcher with a short time delay and medium range. Perfect for hitting stopping large groups of weaker enemies and for single targets that Charity can’t quite punch through.’

+And bringing rocks down on your head!+

‘Y-yeah…’

(…What’s the name mean?)

‘Er…It’s a synonym for kindness?’
(oh…)

‘But the rocks thing was totally my fault! Used correctly it’s really not dangerous at all!’

(Except to the things you’re shooting at.)

‘….moving on…Next we have Ebulliance! She’s a…well she’s a um…I call it a lightning lance…she’s a little melted just now…’

>WHAT!?

‘Yes it’s one of your unfinished designs.’

>Do you have any idea how dangerous that is!?

‘Yes. I had to use it to kill an eyeball monster. It melted. Just like…the whole thing. Around my claws.

>Spike! It could have exploded killing you!

‘…Wanna help refine and finish the design?’

>No! I have a dozen other things going on and no time to help you build a better death machine!

‘Well then I guess I’ll need to figure it out on my own then.’

>Or you could just not use it!

‘I need a heavy weapon. It saved my and Chrysalis’ life down in the caves.’
>…GAH! Fine! Just…show me the designs before you try to build another ok!?

‘…fine. Next up, the only one not field tested yet Thaumaturgy. A .50 caliber automatic cannon!’

“…What’s the difference between a cannon and a gun?”

‘On a cannon the bullets…explode!’

“oh…of course…”

Twilight’s eye begins to twitch.

>Yes…that’s something worthy of being branded with the magic of friendship…that’s totally ok…totally…

[Wait….isn’t something missing?]

‘About that.’

All eyes followed his to a crudely carved rubber band pistol with the word ‘TBD’ carved into it on the far end of the table.

‘Faithful is a…work in progress at the moment.’

[So…can I see the plans?]

‘Absolutely not! They’re still in too early a stage.’

[But I need to make sure they’re awesome! At least tell me what the plan is?]

‘I’m thinking…crossbow? It’d be the most quiet of all of them, and could be loaded with nonlethal knockout drugs…it’s fill a gap in the arsenal that isn’t covered by one of the others.’

[THAT’S NOT AWESOME!]

‘It’s useful? And besides, you’re element of loyalty not element of awesome.’

[I’m both thank you very much! Why not make the crossbow fluttershy’s thing, and make the grenade launcher me!?]

(…I like quiet and nonlethal…)

Suddenly they were all clamoring at once.

[OO! Better! Make the grenade launcher and automatic and THEN switch them around!]

(I like that a little less)

+Can Ebulliance shoot confetti!?+

>Maybe, make Thaumaturgy…not hurt anypony? Make it some kind of friendship gun? There’s got to be a way…

-Y’know, Crackerjack really outghta’ be your primary weapon with Charity as the backup…-

“You shut your Applebucking mouth!”

‘LADIES! Please!’

They fell silent.

‘Look, dash, maybe you can work with me on the plans and Fluttershy…I’ll think about it. The rest of you…no. The arsenal will stay more or less as is unless there is a compelling reason for a change.’

+Aww…but I still don’t see what the point is of having six weapons when you can only use at most two at a time.+

‘Let me…show you.’

With that he flipped the table up launching the weapons into the air. As the fell he caught one in his right claw, the next in his left. For the third he shot his tongue out grasping I in mid-air. He then lay prone on his belly wrapping his tail around the fourth finally catching the last two in his back claws aiming all six away from his friends.

‘A BLA-BLA BLA BLA-BLA!’

>whut.

‘A BLA-BLA BLA BLA-BLA!’

>We can’t understand you with a gun in your mouth!

<Ptoo!>

‘I am the harmony!’

A pall fell across the room.

Silently the mares began to file out, an unspoken agreement running between them. All but two. Applejack and Rarity approached, their faces grave.

“Spike.”

Just Spike, not Spikey-wikey, not Spike-Darling, not Spike-Dear…just Spike. Uh oh.

“Get up, and you are never, ever, Ever to do or say that again.”

‘But-‘

-NO, Spike. No. Whatever, ya’ll are gonna say, just….no.-

“Now promise me.”

‘….Fine…’

“Good.”

They both turned in unison and marched out. Snatches of conversation drifting through the door when it opened.

+So gross!+

>I can’t believe…!

[So wrong!]

The door slammed shut.

‘…I thought it was cool.’

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