Wastest Babbeh - 1

FractalFluff, February 16, 2014; 17:19 / FB 17986
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Wastest Babbeh

(Contains excessive quantities of nothing-bad-happens. Approach with caution. May induce abuse deficiency in susceptible readers. In case of emerency, break weggies.)

>Be a loving fluffy owner.
>Earthie mare, pink with a brown mane
>Not the sharpest tool in the shed.
>Currently giving birth
>"Huuhuuhuuu... tummeh owwies... wyyyyy Daddeh gif sowwies tu tummeh? Bwuna gud fwuffy!"
>"No sorries, Bruna, it's just your babies coming," you reassure her.
>For the fifth time since her water broke.
>Her memory isn't normally this bad
>Pain seems to affect it
>Every contraction seems to wipe her understanding of what's going on
>You comfort her, clue her in
>Only to have the next spasm clue her out again.

>"Huuuuuu! Noh-nohs hewt! Pee-pee pwace hewty!"
>"You're doing great, sweetie. Here comes your first baby."
>"Huuhuuhuuu! Wyyyy Daddeh gif sowwy babbeh?"

whydidn'tIgetafish.jpg

>Perfect little red wingie, mane just a shade darker than the rest of its fluff.
>You decide on naming the foals as you go
>To help her focus and bond with them.
>"This is Rosie," you say, bringing the sticky, chirping bundle round for her to lick.
>"Wosie? Wub Wosie!"
>What? It's hard to come up with original names under pressure.

>Next comes a lemon-yellow earthie foal with the beginnings of a white mane
>"This is Chiffon."
>"Huuu... wub... Shiff'n..."

>Here's another earthie, this one blue with a wispy green mane.
>"This is, uh, Bluebell..."
>"Hfff... hewwo... Bwoobeww... Mummah... wub!"

>You palpate her tummy gently from the outside.
>No afterbirth, so she's not done
>But she's running out of energy, poor thing.
>You're pretty sure there's only one foal left.
>You stroke her tummy gently to help things along
>Finally she manages to Hfff and Hnnnnng out her final foal
>A purple wingie, smaller than the rest, but already sporting a shock of black mane.
>The afterbirth follows immediately.

>"Last baby, Bruna. This one is..."
>"Hewwo... Wastest! Wub... Wastest babbeh..."

>You facepalm mildly, but shrug it off.
>So the thing has a daft name.
>It's a fluffy.
>How much harm can calling it Last do?

famouswastestwowds.html

>She's an attentive if unimaginative mother.
>Really gets into parenting the foals
>Litter trains with only minor prompting
>Showers all four with affection.
>You notice that she makes a bit more fuss over Last
>But assume that's because the Pegasus is smaller than her siblings.

>Finally they're old enough for their shots.
>Drive everyone down to the vet
>Fine getting into her carrier
>Fine being told where you're going
>"Nu wowwies, babbehs, we gonna see mistah nicey doctow, doctow give sticky-sweeties fow be gud!"
>Fine all the way there, fine in the waiting room.
>Fine when Rosie is taken into the office for her shots
>Ditto Bluebell and Chiffon
>Calms each one down, tells it to be a good baby, hugs and comforts it.
>"Nu wowwy babbeh, owwies aww gu way nao. It otay, doctow mistah stahp yu gettin sickies!"
>Until you get to Last.
>Try to lift Last out of the carrier...

>"NUUUUUUU! NU TAKE WASTEST BABBEH! NUUUUU! PWEASE, PWEASE NU TAKE!"
>"What the heck, Bruna? She needs her shots just like the others. Now be a good girl and hand over the baby."
>"NUUUUUUUU! NU WASTEST BABBEH! BWUNA SOWWY! BWUNA BE GUD FWUFFY! NU TAAAAAKE!"
>"Bruna, you're upsetting everyone. if you don't calm down and give me the baby, there will be trouble. Do you hear me?"
>Poke her nose with your fingertip.
>(She saw another fluffy get its nose flicked and start crying, once
>And now nose-boops are the most terrifying thing ever.)
>She relinquishes Last
>Quiets down into little huuhuuhuus
>Suffers herself to be given baby-sized huggies by her other three foals.
>As you hand the baby over to an aide, you hear:
>"Huuhuuhuu... hoomin take 'way wastest babbeh... huuhuu... nu mowe am mummah... huuhuuhuu..."
>"What are you on about, Bruna, you silly fluffy? They'll bring her right back. And you've got three foals right there!"
>Her lower lip pouts out, which is an odd look on a pony.
>"Wen wose wastest babbeh, nu mowe am mummah!" she says, with an air of finality.
>Her confused foals are starting to cry too, so you don't press the issue.
>Only the return of Last reassures her that she's still a mummah.

>The same thing happens a few days later when Last messes itself and needs to be bathed
>The simple operation of shampooing a small foal turns into a full-length tragedy
>Last doesn't get to run and play as freely as her siblings
>The second she's out of sight:
>"WHEWE BABBEH? WHEWE WASTEST BABBEH? NEE WASTEST BABBEH FOW BE MUMMAH!"

>Ask your vet about the whole Last Baby thing.
>He's sympathetic but tells you there's little to be done.

>"You're still doing better than the guy who called his unicorn foal Uni," he says.
>"Rest of the litter had to be fostered out."

>"Fluffies, eh?

>"Fluffies."