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- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HhmEifNjWiw
- >Eri climbs down from the couch to you and throws her hooves around your neck. Her mane presses into your face, burying you in her scent.
- >In all your time here, you've never gotten to smell a pony before. It wasn't even something you'd considered.
- >But hers is just so... sweet. There's no other way to describe it.
- >Your cries die down as she holds you reassuringly. She pulls back only once you're suitably assuaged.
- >You wipe your eyes.
- "This isn't going to work. If we did this, and it didn't work out... I don't want to lose you. I don't want to hurt you. I don't want to end up breaking your heart. I don't want you to regret loving me. You've gone through so much suffering already. I'd rather die than cause you any more pain."
- >Silently, she looks into your eyes.
- >Eight nights ago, you fell in love with those eyes.
- >Six nights ago with her words.
- >Four nights ago with her humor.
- >Two nights ago with her mind.
- >Tonight, you're just in love with her. There's no more denying it. You love her.
- >But you can't do this.
- >You'll never be able to do this.
- >She doesn't say anything. There's nothing left to be said.
- >So she kisses you.
- >You submit to it immediately, pushing back into her lips with all the want in your heart.
- >Behind this kiss is the intense passion of every night you've spent with her, every laugh you've shared, every cry you've endured.
- >It is everything you've ever wanted, everything you thought you'd never get.
- >Slowly, she pulls back, still close enough to feel her breath on your face, her forehead leaning against yours.
- >She looks you in the eyes one last time, with tears streaming...
- >And runs out of your office.
- >Heartbroken.
- >By your hand.
- >Was it ever going to go down any other way?
- >Deny her, and drive her away. Accept her, and the inevitable fall will be so much higher.
- >Because you're not fit to love. Not the way you are.
- >She deserves so much better than what you can offer.
- >There you sit, brought to your knees, on the floor of your office...
- >And you are all alone.
- >Absolutely,
- >Entirely,
- >Incorrigibly alone.
- >The storm of your relationship has passed, leaving nothing but a trail of destruction in its wake.
- >Both of you felt it coming in the previous nights. Both of you, terrified of what it'd do to you.
- >And here it is.
- >Everything you ever held dear, reduced to dust. Your relationship with her is over.
- >This is it.
- >The true end of the line.
- . . .
- Eri
- Anon
- Tell me, reader, what does it matter now?
- The internal monologue is the same.
- They don't want to do this anymore.
- The two of them put it all on the line for each other.
- Each didn't think they were good enough for the other.
- All they wanted was to be loved. And they were loved, as much as the darkness permits.
- They just couldn't accept it. Failed to communicate the way they needed to.
- So if they'll never be loved...
- Why bother, right?
- Because after all the sleepless nights and fixated thoughts,
- After getting a taste of the sanctity that is love,
- Each would sooner die than lose the other.
- Little do they know,
- It's already too late.
- So stop reading here.
- Delude yourself into thinking they could ever be happy.
- As if "star-crossed lovers" holds any weight in the real world.
- As if it was ever going to turn out any other way than this.
- When you began this journey, you knew there was this gnawing feeling in the back of your head.
- You were afraid that it would end this way.
- You wanted them to get better. As validation.
- If they could do it, then maybe you could, right? Right?
- But darkness doesn't disappear.
- If you're going to go on, then you need to accept what really happens.
- She left his office. That much is true.
- But she never came back.
- They didn't get their happy ending.
- It was all just a pipe dream.
- A comforting fantasy, a reverie of everything they wanted.
- An illusion designed to console your insecurities.
- You and I both know the truth.
- They were doomed from the start.
- . . .
- >It's better this way.
- >You were meant to be alone.
- >You can play your games and live out your fantasies.
- >Have those cute little chats on the couch.
- >But happiness? Real contentedness, not just some fleeting fun?
- >You are never going to find that.
- >The darkness is inside of you and it infects everything you touch.
- >Even the one you love more than anything in the world.
- >There will never be a happy relationship.
- >You will never feel safe.
- >You will never find that warm security you long for.
- >All there is for you is pain.
- >You were born into pain, and unto pain you shall pass.
- >There is no hope. No comfort. No love.
- >If it can't happen now, in the face of someone who actually, finally knows you...
- >Then it's never going to happen. You accept that now.
- >There is no point in living anymore.
- >You are, and forever will be,
- >Unlovable.
- >You get back to the apartment and slam the door behind you.
- >Sitting on your office floor. She's gone. She's not coming back. For real this time.
- >Pacing angrily. He doesn't fucking love you, you are nothing, you are—
- >—a mess. She doesn't know what she wants, she doesn't realize you can't be loved, that you'll inevitably break her—
- >—neck. That's what you should do. Just fucking hang yourself, you bitch. You should have died before ever meeting him.
- >You leave your office. It's not worth it anymore. Friend. Lover. No matter what you are, you're just going to cause her more pain.
- >There's no point in going on. He knows you more than anypony has and even he doesn't want you. Nopony ever will.
- >Down the hall you walk. The building feels like death row. There's only one way to ensure you'll never hurt her again.
- >A moment of weakness, into the bathroom. There it is, right where you left it. All this time it's been waiting for your return.
- >Up the decrepit stairwell you ascend. Every night, one way or another, you pushed her into something uncomfortable.
- >You take the razor blade between your teeth. There will be no dream this time.
- >Hand on the railing. Climbing higher. You made her share when she didn't want to. Touched her when she didn't ask.
- >Trembling as you bite down on it. You will succeed. You will succumb. You will leave him better off. He won't endure your misery.
- >Burst through the door to the roof. Ten stories up, one for each night of hers you've ruined. Fucking poetic.
- >The steel is cold. Princess Luna will not find you. You will submit to the darkness. Get what you deserve.
- >Each nervous step to the edge, peering down to the ground far below. Your death will be her freedom.
- >There was no meaning behind any of it. There never was. The iPod.
- >The vampires.
- >The dancing.
- >The crying.
- >The kiss.
- >The blood.
- >I am unlovable.
- >I am unlovable.
- >A waste of life. You bring the razor down to your skin.
- >An angel of death. You step up onto the ledge.
- >I love you, Anon.
- >I love you, Eri.
- >But I'm no good for you.
- >I am nothing but darkness.
- >I can't be the one you love.
- >I'm not your messiah.
- >I'm just some dead bitch.
- >The asshole who gave you false hope.
- >You sink the blade into your flesh.
- >You step forward over the edge.
- >If I can't be loved...
- >...I'm better off dead.
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