Gibraltar Gurnani and the Temple of Al-Saah

Dr. Anuraag 'Gibraltar' Gurnani stepped carefully down the hallway, his short sword held en guard. The Order didn't pay him nearly enough for this, but at least they had yet to turn a museum exhibit into an orgy. The worn but legibly inscribed stone of the ruins was familiar enough, in a vague way. Damned shame he couldn't actually get a excavatory team here without the typical deprivations of monsters whittling the crew to nothing. At a slight whirring noise, his swordarm tensed. She'd make him fight for every inch of progress, damn her. True to form, a metallic tentacle shot out of the shadows towards him. Sliding his rear foot to the side, parrying it with the flat of his blade to his right, with a shuffle-step he vertically cut through it a few inches behind its articulated pincer. With a step backwards from the sparking seizing machine, the archaeologist glanced around making sure no other gadgets were going to take him by surprise. There appeared to be none. The sound of heavy footfalls and a slow clapping sound from the shadowed hall before him was yet another reminder to keep his sword guard steady.

"If it isn't Dr. 'No Fun' Gurnani. I would've thought you'd be peddling one of your crazy theories instead of snooping where you're not wanted.", said the short figure stepping out of the shadows a dozen body lengths before him. "Your last paper was worth a good laugh though, I'll give you that. No aphrodisiacs at the Battle of Hashikotan. Where do you come up with such fanciful notions?"

"That's bullshit!", yelled Gibraltar Gurnani unthinkingly stepping forward in anger, "The archaeological evidence is clear --" Gurnani stopped his movement forward, quickly glancing around to make sure no tentacles were approaching. No way was he was going to fall for that again. He'd lost his favorite whip and an entire dig last time he'd let her goad him. His swordarm tensed in remembrance, the electrical burns hadn't been fun either. The little gremlin, Dr. Mahdi al-Saah, was more dangerous than her petite form implied. Her 'uniform' was more like the notion of a jumpsuit than anything else. There was too little of it to qualify as anything but swimwear. Large swaths of her yellowish skin showed freely, in contrast to the dark green cloth covering her hands, legs, and the bare minimum of her breasts and pelvis. The only concession she made to utility were her dark green gloves, boots, and pocket filled work-belt hitched at her waist.

The little gremlin pouted at him mockingly. Her olive face and large dark eyes gave an approximation of sympathy, but there was no hiding the malicious cast to an otherwise attractive face. She batted her large eyes at him, holding her gloved hands together in mock distress while Gibraltar seethed internally. Glaring at the gremlin, he loosened his body, breathing deeply. The devilish creature seemed to live for nothing more than goading him and making technological depravities. He couldn't believe she'd gotten tenure, she'd blatantly bribed the committee with her perverted doodads while smiling at him the whole time! Reminding himself to keep a cool head, Gibraltar responded.

"This is my dig, Doctor Al-Saah. I've the paperwork to prove it, why are you here?", said Gibraltar Gurnani, unable to keep some aggravation out of his voice. Being a professional about things had served him well in life, though he wasn't nearly as popular as Dr. Mahdi 'Swimwear' Al-Saah.

"Maybe I just wanted to chat. It was an amusing paper. After reading it I'm certain, you can give this site the treatment it deserves.", said Al-Saah. The mocking tone of her words made what could've been a friendly conversation into an example of heavy handed sarcasm. Her small hand played idly at her belt as she spoke, the muscles of her arm tensing as toyed with a pocket on the belt.

"I see. Thank you Dr. Al-Saah. If you'll excuse me, I've a site to secure. Please don't let me take you away from your important work in the field of jizz-bots or whatever.", replied Gibraltar with a similar edge in his voice. He couldn't resist the last jibe, she was site poaching for Goddesses' sake! Al-Saah wasn't one to normally back down on anything, but Gibraltar Gurnani was sure he had her number this time. Gibraltar tensed his swordarm as she flicked open a pocket on her belt and withdrew a small silverish rectangle. She glanced at him and grinned before rolling her large dark brown eyes expressively.

"So tense, No Fun? You really ought to relax. I'll leave the site to your ah capable hands. Gotta check my map though, the natives here can be a bit...restless.", said Al-Saah, punctuating her speech with licks of her lips and a spiteful grin. Gibraltar didn't rise to the bait, he had met some of the local Amazonesses on the way here. They were over-friendly, belittling, and patronizing, but tolerable. He had brought both official documentation and a old worn fetish from the archives that convinced the locals to allow him free movement. The authority it conveyed was limited and only extended for a single individual, else he'd have brought a team. She looked at him, waiting to see the effect of her words. Noting that he was unruffled, she tapped the small silver rectangle. A pale glowing map appeared, but not a geographical one. It was a watertable contour map. As her small quick hands idly danced on the silver rectangle, the glowing image changed becoming in turn: a schematic, a text in an unfamiliar language, a moving image of Al-Saah messily masturbating with some oddly shaped metallic device, what looked to be a reconstruction of this very site from known archaeological records, and then a exploded and enhanced view of the underground levels of this site. The gremlin looked at it for a moment before pressing the rectangle a few more times.

"Guess I'll take my jizz-bots and leave, No Fun.", said Al-Saah, staring at him with a smug grin as she gave the little box a small deliberate tap. The ground immediately began to vibrate. It wasn't strong enough to throw him off his feet, but after a few moments it plainly was going to get to that point. Gurnani was strongly tempted to tell her to fuck off, but managed to quell the urge.

"What the hell did you do, Al-Saah?!", yelled Gurnani over the increasingly loud vibration. The gremlin raised an eyebrow askance, even going so far as to cup a hand behind her large furry ear. Gurnani yelled it again more loudly to no effect, he didn't move any closer to her, he was already certain this was her doing. She was always doing something and it always equated to mischief.

After a few more moments of her 'I can't hear you' pantomime, to which Gibraltar responded to with a single finger pantomime of his own, she tapped the rectangle with a single stroke and the vibration calmed. Eventually it decreased to nothing. He stared at her angrily, waiting for an explanation.

"I thought you didn't want me and my 'jizz bots' here, Dr. Gurnani?", said Dr. Al-Saah, her voice nearly conveying innocent surprise. Gurnani didn't bother to respond, he kept his deadpan glare aimed at her. The little imp wouldn't be able to resist teasing him if her life depended on it. She waited a moment before continuing, hoping to draw him out. After stretching her lithe body in a way that pushed her nearly naked torso at him, she settled for once more fiddling with her silver box.

"The subterranean levels of the temple are slowly sinking due to the metamorphic structure of the bedrock. My machinery is acting as a structural support, reinforcement and a mapping tool. All at the same time. Not bad for some 'jizz bots' aye, No Fun?", said the gremlin. She brought her free hand up, fingers curled inward. She blew on her fingertips and rubbed her thumb across them. Her hands were entirely covered by gloves, not the fingerless kind.

Gurnani took a few deep breaths and tried to remain calm. Despite obviously not understanding human gestures at all, the little gremlin was as intelligent as she was malicious. This was probably manageable, he could grin and bear her presence for the sake of the work. Still he couldn't resist poking at her a bit.

"Those are lovely gloves, Dr. Al-Saah.", said Gurnani flatly. The little gremlin looked at him as if trying to determine if he were mocking them. Unable to find any maliciousness, she beamed one of her manic smiles at him.

"Well I did design them myself.", said Al-Saah making a few more preening gestures more suited to people with exposed fingernails. She'd probably seen human women doing them and was ignorantly mimicking the gestures, Goddesses only knew what she thought they meant. Gibraltar Gurnani felt somewhat relieved, she was smart but hardly infallible.

"I admire your self-control as well, Dr. Al-Saah.", continued Gurnani, indulging this strange urge to taunt the non-human, "Producing such complex machinery without giving it a sexual purpose was quite commendable. Certainly you must have had so many opportunities to engage in adding all sorts of perversions to your devices, yet you restrained yourself. I'm sorry to have misjudged you as some sort of machine sexualizing pervert." The gremlin's happy smile froze at his words, her caramel skin looked slightly more flushed, she was clearly sweating. Her hand gestures became even more meaningless, there was a moment where she seemed very interested in buffing the back of one of her gloved hands. Gurnani restrained his smile.

"So, let's get down to business, shall we? You won't be getting higher than fourth billing on the first publishing of our findings.", said Gibraltar, shocking the gremlin out of her attempt to bluff.

"Fourth billing!", said the little gremlin, clearly insulted, "You should be lucky I don't just publish myself, No Sell!". Her large ears were folded back, her teeth bared, the gremlin looked ready to lunge at him. Gurnani sheathed his sword before visibly and elaborately yawning.

"Ah, I see. You've been quite busy to do so many in-depth studies of the Cult of Aries and the history of the native Amazonesses, not to mention the magical theory of the period and geographical location in this area. Why my name certainly shouldn't be on the paper, now should it? And the linguistic work involved. To use your machines to reconstruct and parse an extinct language with a shifting meta-grammar must have been an amazing breakthrough. I'll write Dr. Frouzan Tarokh and tell her how her rare expertise is not needed --", said Gurnani, warming to the subject, he was interrupted by a vicious snarl from the little mamono.

"Fine. I get it.", said Al-Saah, not meeting his eye. "Is Tarokh coming on site?", asked the gremlin. Gurnani frowned, that was a strange question. Frouzan Tarokh was a pleasant, attractive and skilled linguist. She made friends easily, and never stooped to do so via Al-Saah's characteristic methods of mischief, bribery, and recklessness. Well, it wasn't important unless he had to make arrangements for Frouzan to travel here to satisfy the gremlin. Another fetish would be required to keep the tribe from bothering a human woman, Gurnani was one of a handful of people capable of making it. Part of his mind was running through the list of components and rituals needed to manufacture another, it would be a week or two of effort on his part. Merely thinking of it was slightly exhausting.

"Frouzan was actually going to do the work via correspondence. She's currently in Yabyanka and burning through one of their libraries. I can see about getting her here, if she's willing. I didn't know you two were friends. She's a fine scholar, I guess you're friendlier than you look.", said Gurnani with a few yawns, much more sincere this time. The gremlin was tiring company, but Frouzan was a reasonably good judge of character. Anything that could make this long project more tolerable would be welcome, he should probably start gathering materials and start the ritual purification processes...

"No!", said Al-Saah, startling him from his thoughts. Gibraltar turned to her with a raised eyebrow. To be honest, he wasn't even sure what the gremlin was talking about now. His mind was already on other things. He rubbed at his temple, waiting for Al-Saah to explain.

"Tarokh, er Frouzan doesn't need to be here. You know how she gets about libraries. And Yabyanka's got the best libraries. It'd be a long boring trip here anyway. We'll be fine, don't even bother her with the idea. I wish I'd thought to do it all via correspondence.", said the gremlin. She was flushed and visibly sweating once more, but Gurnani could hardly bring himself to care. It had been a long trip, and now that things were reasonably settled, he wanted a meal and a nap more than anything else. Mentally putting aside the draining mental preparations for the fetish construction he nodded. With a lazy wave he headed back to his base camp where he could eat and rest in peace.

Fin.