Diary Of A Lost Boy

Diary Of A Lost Boy.
June 3rd 1984 7:30pm

I did it...I finally did it. Everything that had purpose or attachment to me exists no more, I packed up and left.
The past four years haven’t been kind or easy. Mom & Dad are divorced and haven’t spoken to me for the past two years, I’ve also been living hand to mouth and couch surfing for far too long now, I’m sick of it.

I don’t know where I’m going, but all I know right now is there’s something more out there for me, a purpose, a calling. I had to cut the negativity out and this was the only way. I snapped.

I’ve come to America with the clothes on my back, teal blue Stratocaster, Walkman, a fistful of dollar bills and a mixture of good and bad ideas. I took a cab from the Airport into the middle of the city and found this huge crazy new mall that i'm currently sat in as a write this. It’s shelter….for now.

The place is decorated with chrome backed neon lit signs,  pink and red shadows drench the carefully designed and placed floor tiles. The smell of freshly made pizza drifting across the court is a tantalising finish to the overall atmosphere, this place has everything imaginable... the kinds of things you’d dream of as a kid, it’s all here.

There’s also way too many video games, the temptation to plug my cash into Pole Position & Dragon’s Lair is growing, but if I want to survive I need to find a place to stay, and as cool as they are, I can't live in a video game…although given the chance…I probably would. One of the mall cops here told me there’s a hostel nearby, it’s going to have to suffice for tonight…hopefully a sob story will get me in for free…im counting on it.

June 4th 1984 4:15pm

I got a pretty good night's sleep, anything beats another couch. The fact there were a ton of people all in bunk beds nearby in complete darkness  didn't bother me either. I guess we’re all here for the same reason, lost souls trying to carve our paths out of here and onto something new, and hopefully for the better.

I came back to the mall on the off chance that some jobs might be available. I trawled the entire building and found a neat little coffee shop that wanted someone for weekends, it’s not much but I’ve got an interview later this week, so I need to find somewhere semi-permanent in the meantime.

Something wasn’t right though. All morning this girl was following me around the whole mall, always from a distance. I thought nothing of it the first couple of time but now I’m not so sure. A thousand different things went through my head: do I talk to her? Maybe she can help me find a place to stay, I’ll take anything right now.

I decided to try something, different…I figured this girl was shy….or something? so with ten dollars spending money for the day I bought two soda’s, sat down at one of the tables in the court, placed the other cup opposite me and waited.

Ten minutes or so went by and there’s no sign of her, I thought nothing of it and started looking at my journal for a moment until out of nowhere the screeching of the chair legs across the floor gives me what I can only describe as a heart attack. The girl is now sat opposite me, straw firmly gripped between her teeth and magenta lips.

She continued to stay silent. Just stared at me, i couldn’t help getting lost in her eyes as if some sort of spell was being cast upon me. Her hair was this long golden, wavy and permed waterfall.. that’s the only way I can describe it. Her skin pale and soft with blushed cheeks… and that’s when I noticed it. I can’t believe it passed me by the first time, a shiner on her right eye..

After about 5 minutes of me just talking at her I decided to give up, but little did I know the next few sentences that were going to be spoken would change my life forever.

“Why does everyone and everything have to be so fucking difficult” was the last thing I snarled before getting ready to leave, but that’s when the silence finally broke.

“Everything’s easier in here, you’ve just been looking in all the wrong place for too long”.
Is what she said to me, before finishing her soda, getting up and leaving.

Stunned, I didn’t know if I should go after her or not. I figured she must frequent this mall a lot judging by how quickly she moved from place to place while I was here this morning. I’ve got to find out more about what she said. Tomorrow’s another day I guess, maybe she’ll be more talkative.

June 5th 1984 10:15am

Should I write some more? :)