The Nameless Dark Story #1

No one's perfect. No one's clean. Deep down we're all disgusting. It's just that no one wants to admit it.

I used to know a guy who specialized in a really specific kind of... sexual favor. He got one of those split tongue deals, where they slice down the middle of it and make you look like a snake or whatever. Well he had one of those, and he could control each side independently. It was wild, he could tie a cherry stem in about two seconds.

So this friend with the split tongue, he reads in a book about how these guys in the Middle East stick things down their urethras and jack off. And ignoring what the idiot kid in the story did with that information, my buddy wonders if maybe he can put his tongue to good use.

Now, my buddy, he's making about a grand a day from these guys that nobody else is going to touch. So I figured I'd find my own specialty.

You have to be an absolute idiot to not find porn on the Internet. I don't even think it's possible. You can find the wildest shit out there, and that's what I was looking for. One guy, he pays my buddy about two grand a month because he cant get over how my buddy can lick the insides of this guy's dick.

So I start looking around for fetishes that I think I can force myself to do. At this point there's not much I won't but I draw the line at kiddie shit. One of the things I seen was the piss fetish stuff. All these guys wanting to piss in some little fag boy's asshole. I did that for a while but then I ended up getting an infection and I had to stop. As it turns out piss is acidic and it can really fuck up your guts if it stays in there or gets pushed up by a 'foreign object'. After shitting blood for a few weeks I had to find something else.

I'm too fried to really feel pain much so for a while I was going after the guys who are into needles and hammers and pliers. The kind of guys who stick a screwdriver up under that lowest rib while they're fucking you because they can't get off without hurting something. I did that for a while and I actually kind of liked it, but I got into the more hardcore stuff and you've only got so many teeth and toenails before there's not much left of you that anyone wants.

I tried all of it. I tried inflation but it takes a long time for intestinal tears to heal, and the ulcer in my stomach flares up. I tried hardcore BDSM but my rupture spleen ended that. I did castration and got paid a fortune but we all know a fortune is relative and when the Gatsby dream ended I had to think of something else.

A regular of mine, who was really only into vanilla sex, turned me on to an ad he'd seen on some secret board online. The guy was looking to pay someone a damn good amount of money for what he called a 'one-time deal.' I took the deal and the guy sent a driver to my apartment and brought me back. Big house in the country, big garden, big car, big windows. Big man, big dick.

At first all he wanted was sex. Just sex. Not even interesting sex. I got bored. I ran out of heroin and started getting the shakes but the guy was prepared and he shot me up. High quality. I don't remember much, or agreeing to it, but I'm sure I did. I have low standards.

I made him promise that it wouldn't hurt, and he said he couldn't do that but he'd do his best to get me so high it wouldn't matter either way, which was fine. He must have been a nurse. He was very good with his hands. The IV didn't hurt much and I didn't really care at that point. He promised me he'd only take things I wouldn't miss. Just the spare parts.

You don't need an appendix to live. It's a rudimentary organ that serves no purpose. You only need a single kidney to function, as long as you stay healthy. A healthy liver can be divided in two. The third and fourth toes don't contribute to balance, and the third and fourth fingers provide only marginal stability and grip.

You always hear about how loud it is when anything happens to your skull and that's very true. It's kind of like the end of the world but it's inside you, so it's kind of an internal apocalypse. And the brain really doesn't feel pain. All of it's important, sure, but I wasn't really ever good at math to begin with, and deaf people lead normal lives.

I stayed with him for as long as it took me to get healthy. He was right, actually, the brain really does taste a lot like pate, and it's great with sauteed mushrooms. Brings out that iron taste. I've never been a fan of kidney or liver, but it's very good for you. He was generous with his time and money.

Hopefully this time the Gatsby times don't end. There's not a whole lot of me left to go around.