Monkey Fever part 1 - a Hazbin/Hellboy story

from /hhg/ - Hazbin Hotel #446
Girls like Cigarettes: https://pastebin.com/FkUUG2jE
A Crowns Weight: https://pastebin.com/vbdP6x09
Monkey Fever part 2: https://pastebin.com/5JveFhTT
Monkey Fever part 3: https://pastebin.com/i7p8WJYC
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> "God dammit Blitzo!"
> "Me? How the hell is this my fault?!"
> "I told you not to touch anything, and what's the first thing you do?! You start touchin' crap!"
Hellboy pulls out gun and fires behind them
> "How the hell was I supposed to do know there was gonna a massive fucking robot gorilla here?!"
> "The same way you somehow ended up in a mysterious underground Nazi base in the middle of Madagascar, right at the exact time me and my team came in."
> "I already told you-"
Blitzo picks up beaker full of acid and throws it behind them
>"I already told you I didn't know we'd be dealing with actual Nazi's. Do you have any idea how many times we're contracted to kill "Nazi's"? I have a whole goddamn desk full of hits on fat-ass shit-heads in their moms basement, how the hell was I supposed to know we'd be dealing with a actual, literal mad Nazi scientist bastard!"
> "Maybe-"
Hellboy fires off more shots before having to empty his guns chambers
> "Maybe check your goddamn intel."
> "Hey I'll have you know I have some of the best people on intel gathering!
Back in Hell
> "Loona?"
> "Mmh.."
> "Huh, was this the dossier you gave to Blitzo?"
> "Mmh..."
> "Because half the paper is full of black lines, and its missing like, half the pages."
> "Oh... eh."
Back to Hellboy and Blitzo
> "Yup, best in the busines- holy shit!!!"
Cyborg-Gorilla jumps down and grabs Hellboy by the waist as he begins slamming him against the ground
> "Let go of me you damn dirty ape!"
> "Oh fuck this!"
Blizto takes off, leaving Hellboy behind to the Cyborg Gorilla
> "Blizto you goddamn pu- ARGH! You furry freak c'mere!"
Blizto keeps running down the hallway as the intercoms plays over, its Herman Von Klempt
"Ah yez, You would be de leader of theze... demons I assume? Quite wunderful test subjects they a provin', resistant to harm, quick to heal, I could make wonderful progress with them. Ah, but mores the merry as they say. Make sure to leave him alive. But maiming is allowed."
-
continued
Around Blizto, screeching and hollering is heard as Cyborg chimps descend from around him and begin to chase him down.
"Nopenopenopenopenopenopenope! Fuck this island! Fuck it straight in the ass!"
Pulls out Cellphone to call home, but then drops it
> "Goddamit Blitzo you clumsy bitch!"