[M4M] Rub-a-dub-dub: Three Men in a Tub! (**WIP**)

[M4MM] Rub-a-dub-dub! Three Men in a Tub [butcher] [baker] [candlestick-maker] [silly] [Mdom] [threesome] [oral] [limited puns]

Rub-a-dub-dub. Three men in a tub, and who do you think gets fucked?

Notes: No sound effect is really needed unless you’re feeling merciful at the end. The dialogue should already be written to make it clear to the audience which of the three is being addressed by whom throughout the script, though you’re free to make alterations that would better clarify it.

Edit this script as you like.

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[nervously] Okay. It has officially been…three hours since we set sail on this tub, three hours out adrift in sea. Surely, that’s enough time for someone to have realized we were missing and gone looking for us, right? Yeah, we just have to hold on until they get here…until help arrives, that’s all.

Oh, don’t give me that look. It’s not like you said anything before we got onboard, Mr. Candlestick-Maker. Honestly, who even buys candles anymore?

[muttering, conceding]…Okay yeah Mother and her friends do love gifting those for some reason…

But it doesn’t matter. Butcher, baker, candlestick-maker—whatever. All we are now are three men, in a tub, lost in the fucking sea. Fucky-Fuck-FUCK.

[heavy sigh] [pause]

[flaring]…And why is it so hot?! Jesus. I’m sweating so much here I…Move your…Ahh.

Gotta let boys breathe a bit, they’re starting to stick to my legs now.

Just soo fucking hot…[knowingly] Huh, Candlesticks?

[smug smirk]

Whew!  It’s like…like I’m baking over here! Ah? [expect laughter]

Oh come on, that was—Thank you, Mr. Baker. I guess our “friend” here ‘s just a little upset that I didn’t say “we’re melting” instead.

[annoyed sounds]

You know, I have had it up to here with you, Candle-Man. I swear, when we get back—and we will get back home—I am going to take the biggest, fattest “Vanilla Scent-sation” in your shop and shove it up that candy ass of yours.

[He goads you: “Oh, yeah?”]

Yeah! Make you moan like the little bitch you are before I stuff that other hole with a thick, fat…FUCK, can we just fuck already?

[undressing] Yeah, Get on that…get on that fucking cock [moan]…

###

Fuck, there you go, there you go, FUCK!

Such an improvement! [laugh]

Hey, look at me, look at me. That’s how you really pay your rent, isn’t it? [laugh] Well I didn’t hear a no!

Yeah, peel my nuts off with your tongue. Salty, aren’t they?

That’s right, lick every fold clean.

@@@

Hey, Baker, you wanna piece of this fuck-meat? Got a perfectly good hole right there in front of you.

Go on, tease him, Candlesticks. Spread those cheeks. I can hold your head still for you.

###
Wait, guys…do you see that?

[pause]

Hahaha! I’m just fucking with you.

We’re totally going to die. .-.

[distant foghorn]