Disney Villains Victorious, jump #967: [villainous laughter]

[Disney Villains Victorious]

Drawbacks: Memory, The King's Hand: Shego, Out of the Inkwell (2000)

Human, H̸̷͘e҉̕͢͜r̷͠ó͘͜͢͡, Charming

The Sound of Music (Free)
A Whole New World (Free)
I've Got a Dream (Free)
When You Wish Upon A Star... (1700)
Zero to H̶̨̀̕͝ȩ̨̛r̴̛͏͞ó̸ (1400)
Hellfire (1000)
Higitus Figitus (600)
Sweet as a Song (Free)
Pixie Dust (Free)
The Embers of Hope (300)
Starbound: Elsa, Maleficent, Queen La (0)

I don't care what anyone said afterwards. I was a villain.
AM a Villain.
It's not my fault that having a decent work ethic and a goal beyond yourself doesn't fit the local paradigm for villainy.
It IS my fault that this timeline-no, this reality came about. I can trace the microfractures in time and love, like a shattered mirror whose cracks lead all the way back to a hateful, covetous sorceror who swindled princesses out of their happy endings.

But well...the past is another country. Literally, that other timeline's probably done cannibalising itself by now.

So who cares.
I /don't/
Reality is secured. Things could be worse. There are kingdoms to conquer.

...well, there WOULD be if my King was more proactive.

>"Rule - I am EVIL! Have I made myself clear?"
>"Shego rules with a cruel, if lazy hand. She tends to delegate serious problems that aren't happening right in front of her to other people, and will often be (or pretend to be) too busy to talk to people if they don't have anything to make it worth her while."

Some overladies would take advantage of an old sorta-ally suddenly hopped up on phenomenal cosmic power. Not Shego. She took it in stride, told me my job was to "go tip over Middleton or something. Or don't, they're a bunch of pussies anyway" and we went clubbing. I think she just wanted an excuse to dodge her employees for a while.

It was at the club when I finally thought of something I could work with: Interdimensional villain cabaret club

(Cont'd)

Drinks from a dozen realities, from traditional dreadrum to my very own Prisoner's Mead! Dance machines carved from Malfean brass! Floodlights that shone with all the shades of dark! A monthly competition for the best villainous song, split into montage and solo categories! And club Casa de Noir was enchanted to maintain itself, which meant Shego didn't really have to do much while still having a sick party den to impress all the other villains.

>Brethren Court imploding into civil war for Te Ka's recently resurfaced heart! Te Ka was unavailable for comment, having somehow resurfaced as Te Fiti

And oh man, the stories we could tell about that place. Hades getting drunk, making out with Ursula, and neither of them regretting it in the morning. Negaduck schooling Scar on the dance floor. Oogie Boogie and the Friends on the Other Side getting into a boogie-off so intense they agreed to share the prize. Shere Khan and MISTER Shere Khan being, well, catty about each other's territory until the Huntsmen gave them common cause that also let them realise they were long-lost twin brothers.

>Xanatos Enterprises announces an ambitious venture to capture and harness the reclusive Firebird itself for perpetual energy! On the same day a shipment of statues goes missing, which were generous insured by the Casa de Noir

Not every villain attended, of course. Which was unfortunate, because when the dark tide was set loose upon the world not everyone villain had the luxury of our patented club techno-geas.

Some villains found it suspicious the tide made a beeline for evil lairs while avoiding villages and never even approaching places like the Hundred Acre Woods, but a friendly demon called Goetia came along selling magic curse-drinking cups and everyone was relieved enough to forget about it.

>Shocking news! Pontifex Frollo found incinerated by his own holy flame. The message "Jafaru Ackbar" was left at the crime scene

(Cont'd)

Anyway,there was much unrest and backstabbing and heroes rising up in all the lands but as I told everyone, this world was ours. We could deal with those meddling heroes any time we liked, when we weren't at each others' throats. That didn't change the fact that nobody really trusted anyone else from all the rumors about how the ink had been unleashed.

Except me.

>Somewhere, an avenging princess takes her first living breath in years. The land's outrage dims. Her ancestors' cries dim. Somewhere, a church bell is tolling and against the odds Hua Mulan looks down to see a hopeful dragon. A dragon she saw die.

I taught them this spell I knew, called the Seal of Fire. We could use it to bind the flood of ink's fate to the Firebird, destroying them both. I learned it from my dependable, TRUSTWORTHY buddy Lord Gwyn and nothing he did EVER went wrong!

Almost everyone thought it was a great idea, and there was much celebration that night. Evil celebration.

>Somewhere, a princess wakes to the sound of tolling bells. No prince will come save her. The kingdom is long consumed by briars and thorns. But she knows only one other person could have lifted her curse, and there's a power in knowing who you really are

Elsa, for example, had serious trouble accepting she was the bad guy after years of unending winter. Accepting that simple fact was what it took to quell the frost, and induct her into my inner circle. The others were on the level: My ambitions hit a chord with La, Shego just went with the flow and as for Maleficent...let's just say it was a little of column A, a little of column B

>"I'm a big fan. We both are! I never thought this day would come, and...it's a shame we had to meet like this". And to the sound of church bells, somewhere the Little Mermaid materialises from oblivion. From a safe distance, both Kiaras watch her swim for freedom. Neither is taking her clothes off.

(Cont'd)

And then, there was Bill Cipher.
He told me Nyarlathotep sent his regards.
He asked me if I'd figured out what the contaminant was yet, and what Chernobog had bargained with to create this world.

So I set his land on fire, closed the club early and awaited my destiny.

Presently, Princess Aurora steppd into my lair carrying the Sword of Truth and the Shield of Virtue. She asked if I was the one who had inspired heroes all over the world to rise up right as villains were at their weakest. I told her that was absurd, and the battle in space had yet to be decided. She retorted that in her quest, she had already found Genie's lamp and wished for something all the firepower upt here couldn't contend against: A happy ending.

How ridiculous.

I brought her nightmares to life, she sang about bravery, I pulled a gun on her, she gracefully summersaulted, I transformed into a dragon, she believed in her friends-

-and at the end of it, she cast me down as my own club burned around me.

With that sacrifice at last the Grails scattered over the land detonated, releasing the power of hope into the Firebird, and a holocaust of pure flame engulfed the wicked while restoring the righteous. Louder and louder the bells tolled and the flame burned, devouring the darkness that had driven it into a mad fury, until at long last it hurtled towards the Bald Mountain where the God of Night cried out in fear.

...
...because, I told Aurora, I'm not a hero.

(Because, I didn't say, nobody should call themselves that after living with doing what I've done)

I'm just a villain who does whatever it takes to win. Even if it means incinerating the ruler of darkness and all he's wrought, so I can steal his dominion to rule the ashes.

But letting her sword fall (the fool), Aurora told me I was a bad liar and anyone with eyes could see nothing foul could flourish in this world anymore. Which cut harder than any sword blow, really.

And I asked her how she could be so sure.

And she said "Because my mother told me so"

>FIN