The Pharoah Pt. 1

>be me, bonky
>i had to kill my friend pickle homer to become an assassin for a shadow organization
>they have a big building
>it's shaped like a pyramid
>my codename is "THE PHAROAH"
>it's my first assignment
>the target: lucas ludwig
>he has a codename too
>his is "THE PHOENIX"
>meeting him at the dojo
>i am nervous
>he is so handsome
>i walk towards him
>he is sitting on a mat
>he greets me
>"what's your real name?"
>"not important"
>i am nervous
>he is smiling at me
>i am uncomfortable
>"so, PHOENIX," i say, "what will it be?"
>"i am going to kill you"
>he laughs
>"ha, you are so funny"
>i am still nervous
>he is smiling at me
>he is leaning in closer
>i am scared
>"let's go somewhere else"
>"sure"
>i follow him to his locker
>he opens it up and pulls out a gun
>"what are you doing?"
>"i have a gun"
>i hadn't expected this
>in retrospect it seems pretty obvious
>i walked right into this
>i try to play it cool
>"so." i say.
>"so" he repeats.
>"so, what?"
>"so, are we gonna fight or what?"
>"sure"
>"good"
>the dojo is silent
>"ready when you are" he says.
>"no, you." i say.
>"no, me?"
>"no, YOU"
>he looks confused
>i pull out my gun
>he points his gun at me
>he points it at my face
>i point my gun at his face
>he laughs. "you can't kill me."
>"yeah i can" i say
>"i can't die, i am the PHOENIX"
>"yes, and i am THE PHAROAH"
>he looks confused
>he puts the gun to my head
>i put the gun to his head
>the bullets shoot out
>we die
>he rises like the phoenix
>i am resurrected in the pyramid
>i am realizing this is a very difficult first assignment
>my handler arrives with a tea tray
>"ah, THE PHAROAH," she says, "you had your first assignment."
>"yes"
>"did you complete it?"
>"no."
>"well, that is to be expected. you must learn patience."
>"i tried."
>"yes, you did try. now, have a cup of tea."
>"i will."
>"good."
>"i am sorry about my friend pickle homer."
>"no need to apologize."
>she leaves
>i am alone
>in my mind
>i am thinking about pickle homer
>i am thinking about my first assignment
>i look at my face in the ritual room's pool
>i see a scar on my face from where i was shot
>i am thinking about my first assignment
>i am thinking about my next assignment
>i am thinking about my next assignment
>"THE PHAROAH," my handler returns, "what is your next move?"
>"i don't know" i say
>"well, we've set you up with a meeting with your watcher," she says, "her name is salvatore zeus. i'll send you her contact info."
>"thank you"
>"no, thank you," she says, and leaves
>i go to meet with the watcher, salvatore zeus
>we're in a very fancy dining hall
>i don't recognize any of the cutlery
>there's all this extra cutlery and i don't know what any of it does
>salvatore zeus sits across from me
>"i have been assigned my first task"
>"yes?"
>"i have to kill lucas ludwig."
>"yes, i know" she says
>"what?"
>"i know what you must do"
>"you do?"
>"yes"
>"how?"
>"they have placed a chip in your brain."
>"what?"
>"i am the watcher. i can watch you at all times. i can see everything you see. i can know everything you know. i have placed a chip in your brain."
>"how long?"
>"i don't know"
>"i need to know how long it has been in there"
>"i do not know"
>i realize that i've been feeling strange
>i realize that i've been feeling strange
>i realize that i've been feeling strange
>"get the chip out" i say
>"no"
>"get it out"
>"i can't"
>"why not?"
>"i am not allowed to"
>the waiter brings us our first dish
>it's like a salad
>there's a cheese ball on it
>it's so weird
>i don't know what it is
>"eat it"
>"what?"
>"it's food."
>"i don't want to eat it"
>"you must."
>"why?"
>"because."
>"i want to talk about the assignment."
>"i want to talk about the resurrection technologies that are bringing the phoenix and myself back to life."
>"you must eat the food."
>"tell me."
>"the phoenix is brought back by a regenerative serum free-forming in his blood."
>"and me?"
>"we return you via sacraments to thoth."
>"how much of me needs to remain to bring me back?" i ask.
>"all of you"
>"how much of the PHOENIX needs to remain to regenerate his entire body?" i ask.
>"less than a finger."
>"and if part of me is missing?"
>"then you die"
>"then i die."
>that doesn't seem so bad right now
>the waiter bring out the second plate
>there are some ribbons of meat
>they're delicious
>i'm mulling over how to kill the phoenix
>immolation seems out of the question
>phoenixes rise from the ashes
>i ponder the various methods of complete annihilation
>i can't think of any
>"i have a gift for you"
>"what?"
>"i have a present for you."
>"what is it?"
>"it's a surprise"
>"can i have it?"
>here, she slides a business card across the table to me
>"nice." i say, approvingly
>"yes, i know."
>"i have to kill someone," i say, "and i don't know how to do it"
>"you are THE PHAROAH," she say, "the most feared and renowned assassin in the multiverse."
>"yes, but i don't know how to kill the phoenix," i say, "he's immortal."
>"try something unexpected"
>"okay."
>"did you know"
>"no, what?"
>"that phoenixes sometimes fly into the sun?"
>"no, i did not know that"
>"try it."
>"okay."
>"i am sorry about your predecessor," i say.
>"how did you know about that?" she asks
>"i have my secrets. again, i'm sorry what happened to him." i say
>"no need to apologize," she says, "he became too emotionally attached to his work."
>our drinks arrive
>they're blue
>i toast. "surely you're in no danger of doing the same."
>she smiles.
>we drink.