Fatanon 10

>Day 60 in Equestria.
>It's been a couple of weeks since you went to meet the Princess, who seemed a little bit too imposing for your tastes. You'd met people like her before, and hopefully she would keep her sunny disposition about her rule.
>Fuck off, that's a good pun.
>You're starting to look a bit thinner.
>You've lost another few pounds, and Dash has been talking about upgrading the morning run again.
>You wouldn't mind, your runs with Dash are probably your favorite part of the day.
>You wake up, get on the running shirt and shorts Rarity made for you, eat the breakfast Twilight made for you, and head out for your morning routine.
>Why are the ponies here such bros?
>You feel like a mooch.
>As you step out of the door you come to a startling realization.
>You have been here for two months, long enough to lose around twenty-five pounds.
>You freeze as Twilight's door closes behind you, and you stare up at the sky.
>You're not one for soul searching. If you were you would have gotten rid of this weight long before you made it to Equestria.
>But now?
>Now images of your friends and parents run through your head.
>People that you'll probably never see again.
>You remember when you were little and your mom would read you stories before bed. You remember your dad playing catch with you.
>You remember drinking all the time with your bros, who always gave you shit for being such a fatass.
>Maybe you should tell Twilight she can stop trying to get you back home.
>Everyone who knew you probably thinks you're dead.
>You let out a sigh and turn back to the library. As you're about to open it you hear Twilight's voice, "I just don't know what to do, Spike."
>"I don't either, maybe you should write to the Princess."
>Twilight let's out a little scoff, "You really are like a little brother, but you're right, the Princess would know more about this. I mean, Rainbow knows Anon likes her now, so where does that leave me when I haven't even told her?"
>Your eyes widen.
>There's no fucking way.
>"You ask me, you should tell her."
>"But... what if Anon gets hurt because I..."
>"You're thinking about it too hard, just tell her how you feel."
>You hear the sound of Twilight's hooves on the wooden floor, the familiar sound of her pacing that you've heard so many times before now.
>"What if I said... it's a bit more complicated than that?"
>"How can it get anymore..."
>"I like them BOTH."
>Okay, time to turn your happy ass around and go to the town square.
-------
>"Heya big guy! Whoa, what's up with you? You look like a ghost."
>You open your mouth to tell her, but then shut it again. Twilight's feelings are her business, and if she doesn't want Dash to know then there's no reason for you to go spouting it off like a retard.
"Yeah, everything's fine. Totally okay."
>"You sure?"
"Alright, let's go for a run, I'm tired of being a fat fuck."
>"... If you say so, let's get going."
"Let's run an extra mile today."
>Dash sighs and shakes her head, "Alright, but we're going out and getting boozed up after. I don't need any of this tight-lipped stuff."
>Crap, she saw right through you.
>Oh well, you're a terrible liar anyways. Maybe you'll feel a bit better after a run, and maybe you'll think of a way to tell Dash about the situation without really telling her about Twilight.
------
>So here you are, drinking a beer in the middle of the day because Dash is tired of your beating around the bush bullshit.
>The bartender eyes both of you wearily. He's not the usual guy that knows you and Dash, and anyone who drinks this early is generally bad news.
>You can't blame him for keeping an eye on you both.
>Nonetheless, you are seated at a small table with Dash across from you, glaring daggers.
>"Alright," she says firmly, picking up her bottle with both her hooves and taking a swig.
>It's cute how she has to hold it with both of her hooves.
>God dammit, now is NOT the time for that.
>"Talk."
>You sigh and grab your own beer, twisting the cap off and taking a swig.
"Well, it's about... that."
>She nods, "I kind of figured. And?"
"There might be a problem."
>"What problem would that be? We were pretty clear when we decided to ride it out."
"I know we were but... now things have gotten complicated. I can't tell you why."
>She laughs and shakes her head before taking another swig, "Ahhh. Okay, so how do we un-complicate things?"
>Right, this is Dash, she would rather face a problem head on than beat around the bush.
"I think... I think you need to talk to Twilight."
>"What does Twi have to do with all this?"
"She..."
>You can't say it, you'll just have to get the two of them in one spot.
"That's all I can tell you."
>She frowns, looking heavily contemplative for a moment. Finally, she let's out a sigh and starts drinking again.

>Day next in Equestria
>You're sitting at the table in the library after having finished your breakfast.
>"Why haven't you left yet?"
>Twilight looks annoyed with you, and you can't really blame her.
>Normally, you'd be running with Dash at around this time.
>Today is important, though.
>Important because there's a certain pegasus knocking on the library door before you can answer Twilight's question.
"You might wanna get that."
>Twilight huffs and makes her way to the door, opening it with her magic. She smiles triumphantly, "Oh, hello Rainbow. Are you here to pick up Anon? I'm sorry he's late, but he wouldn't leave."
>Dash shakes her head, "Nope, we're skipping out on the run today."
>Twilight frowns, "But... I made a schedule."
>"Yeah, you did, and the schedule is awesome Twi, but I'm not here for that."
>"Well, what could you be here for then?"
>In the days you've been living here, there's one thing you've never failed to notice.
>Twilight is a very smart mare.
>So, it follows that she would put two and two together.
>After all, you've brought Dash right to her for something important enough to cancel your morning run, and you'll be there as well.
>Twilight sighs, and looks slightly downtrodden, "You overheard me."
"Yeah, I turned around to come back and tell you something important, which we'll also be talking about eventually."
>Twilight takes a deep breath and nods, "Okay, alright. Slightly off from my plan, but I can still manage this. Come on in Rainbow."
>Dash walks in, and right to the table. She exudes confidence and assuredness. You're pretty sure she'll be able to handle whatever curveballs Twilight is about to throw at her.
>Twilight, on the other hand, seems to be a nervous wreck. Just by looking at her you can tell all her muscles are ridiculously tight. She trots over to a pile of books and files them with her magic.
>When she's done she comes to the table, "I don't have much to do today, so we can make this work. I'm sure Anon's told you that you should talk to me."
>"Yeah, but that's all I could get out of him. He's like a steel trap."
>Twilight turns to you and gives you a soft smile.
>You can only guess, but you're pretty sure she's grateful you didn't just blab about her feelings.
>She takes a few deep breaths, "Rainbow, we've known each other a few years now."
>"Yeah?"
>"And you're the best reading partner I've ever had. You study very well, and you enjoy a good story..."
>Dash's confident demeanor immediately vanishes, and her face looks like it's been dipped in cherry sauce, "Twi! I thought we agreed on that being a secret!"
>"It's just Anon."
>"But now he knows I'm a..."
"An egghead?"
>"Shut up Anon! See what you did Twi?! Fiction is one thing but if people know we're study buddies..."
>Twilight groans in frustration, "Alright, stop! This is serious, I'm serious, and you will both be quiet and LISTEN!"
>Dash's mouth shuts as if on command.
>"Now that we're all on the same page... Dash, you've been an amazing friend to all of us. When I first met you I never expected we would have so much in common, you're a bit brash, but you're very intelligent, and I've..." Her face reddens, "I've found that I've become physically attracted to you."
>'Not right now, Boner. This is too important.'
>Dash blushes and looks away, "You don't have to be so uptight about it, You sound like it's one of your experiments."
>"Well, maybe it will end up as a sort of experiment... if you're okay with it."
>"And why's that?"
>"Because I like Anon, too."
>This is the third time you have seen Dash utterly and completely speechless.
>Did Twilight just propose...
>No, there's no way. You don't even know how you would react to it, not to mention Dash still isn't sure about a monogamous relationship with you, much less a polygamous one.
>Hell, even YOU'RE not sure about it. Yeah, you have a bit of a crush on both of them, but the fact of the matter is that you were raised with values that told you to have only one girlfriend at a time.
>Finally, after regaining some composure, Dash turns to you and let's out a nervous laugh, "Heh, I guess you weren't kidding when you said things were complicated."
>Twilight looks like she wants to jump off a cliff. You have to say something.
"Twilight, me and Dash still aren't really sure about a relationship between the two of us, and now that you're involved that makes us even more unsure."
>Dash nods in agreement.
>Twilight's head falls and she sighs. Oh God now you made her feel bad.
>Quick, think think think.
"Not that I'm not open to the idea."
>Dash looks at you, wide-eyed.
"It's just like I said, me and Dash still aren't sure, so maybe we can wait until then before deciding."
>She looks slightly less down.
>You still get the feeling that you disappointed her, though.
>Now you just feel like the ultimate shit stain, you hate that look on her face.
>"I understand, thank you both for your time." She trots upstairs, leaving you and Dash in complete silence.
>After what seems like an eternity, Dash finally speaks, "So now that we're both confused, what do you wanna do?"
>You shrug, there's really nothing you feel like doing now. It's not that you feel down or anything, but after a conversation like that it's hard to get any kind of motivation to surface.
>"Be that way then. Since you didn't run today we can't get wasted." She frowns in thought, "I know you don't feel like running, but maybe we can do something fun."
>Is she...
"You mean like a date?"
>Her face lights up.
>"NO! Just... two bros on the town."
>Dash is many things.
>A good liar is not one of those things.
"So a date."
>"Stop calling it that!"
>You're grinning like a maniac now.
"Hey, I'm down. Where's this coming from anyways."
>Dash rolls her eyes, "Let's just go."
"You're avoiding the question."
>This earns you a slug on the arm.
"Ow."
-------
>Dash leads you to the edge of town, to some restaurant you've never even seen or heard of.
>You realize you need to do this more often. Most of your days consist of exercise, work, and hanging out with Dash and Twilight.
>"Alright, this is the place."
>It's a modest little eatery. It looks affordable enough, and it's nothing fancy like Rarity would enjoy.
>The layout is that of a classic cafe.
"What is this place?"
>"The Hay Bale. I come here to eat on my days off when I'm not getting plastered with you."
"The Hay Bale? Seriously? I'm not gonna have to eat hay, am I?"
>"Hahaha, no, they serve other stuff."
"Like what?"
>"Eggs."
"And?"
>"Salad."
>You can't help but sigh.
"I really need bacon or something."
>"Well until the Princess gets back to you on that you're gonna have to put up with it."
"It's okay, I like salad anyways."
>"Good, now can we go inside?"
>You're helpless. You have no choice but to follow Dash in. You're pretty sure the conversation with twilight was what brought this all on, but you don't want to push your luck by asking her too many questions.
>As you both walk in you're seated by a mare in a checkered apron.
>A waiter approaches even before your ass is in the tiny chair they fetched for you.
>"Hello, what can I get you two today?"
"I'll just take a salad and some eggs please."
>The waiter frowns for a moment, then his smile is back, "You must be Anonymous and Rainbow Dash. Have you heard of our Couple's Special?"
>Two things happen then.
>The first is that you realize the waiter just made a grievous mistake. it takes a while for your brain to process, but as you recall Dash's behavior earlier today you realize that she's a lot more susceptible to embarrassment than she lets on.
>The second thing is a bit more... loud.
>Immediately following your realization that the waiter's assesment was a bad idea, Dash leaps from her seat and floating in the air with a glare that would kill a man, shouts, "He's NOT my boyfriend!"
>You've seen enough anime to know where this is going.
>The entire restaurant goes completely and utterly silent.
>Dash's blush is enough to blind.
>Then you hear it from the corner.
>laughingmares.jpg
>"Coulda fooled me," someone says.
>Dash huffs and sits back down, "Just get me a petunia sandwich."
>The waiter, still a bit shaken from the encounter, gives a nod.
>You can't help but smile.
"Way to embarrass yourself with a cliche."
>"No one asked you."
"You've read the books in Twilight's library, you of all people know that line is the first tack on the bullshit belt."
>She remains silent.
>You wait a while before continuing.
"So what brought this on?"
>It's another long and silent moment before she finally caves.
>"I was jealous."
>...
"... What?"
>"When you told me things got complicated and said that I should talk to Twilight, I thought it was involving you, not... whatever she just talked to us about."
"I'm still having trouble figuring out what just happened too, but why would you be jealous?"
>"I don't know! We hang out all the time, and you don't moan and complain about everything like the ponies I work with. I didn't start thinking about it until that stupid dream you had at the castle."
"Ha, it's not my fault. Can't control what I dream."
>"It IS your fault, and then you wouldn't tell me what was going on so I thought you liked Twi."
"So you got jealous."
>"EXACTLY! Then I actually got in there and Twi throws her... thing out in the open."
"We're calling it a thing now?"
>"What else are we gonna call it?"
"Kinky?"
>"Not helping!"
"Calm down, I'm just poking fun."
>She glares, "Ugh. Listen, I'm just really confused right now, and I wanted to get us out of our normal atmosphere to try something different and see where it went."
"So a date."
>"Stop calling it that!"
>You laugh and shake you head. It's cute how stubborn she is about this entire thing.
"Well, let's make it a good first date then."
>She looks away and crosses her front hooves, a frown on her face as she grumbles under her breath.
>The waiter gets back with your orders and you set about eating.
>You make small talk.
>There isn't much to say that's important, right now you just want to enjoy yourself.
>It's the first date you've had in a while, after all