The Case Of The Mint Ice Cream

"Monika!"
>You call out as you make your way into the house, hands full with groceries.
"They were out of mint flavored ice cream so-"
>You stop yourself.
>Why is the house so dark?
>And why is their smoke everywhere?
"Monika?"
>You hear her voice as you venture in deeper.
>"This reality. Sure, it's got it's glamour. Being free from hell is nice, but isn't life a hell? Beneath the warm, smiling faces of everyone there's dark, sinister deception lurking in their minds. Between the brightly colored shops you'll find alley ways laced with the spilled, crimson blood of the innocent. For every saint and friendly neighbor there's ten more whores and sadists...It almost makes me want to laugh.....ahahaha"
>You find your furniture completely gone.
>You find Monika sitting at a desk, light pouring in from the shades behind her.
>She has a cigar placed between her fingers, smoke poking it's way out of her lips.
>She's in a VERY over sized trench coat with a fedora
"Monika, what the hell?"
>"And I look up. See one of those poor misguided saints mixed in with the trash. The feeling of injustice breathes down my neck. I can't even bring myself to look him in the eyes anymore, too ashamed I've yet to bring him the justice he so desperately needs."
"I asked you to look for the remote!"
>"His impatience causes me to swallow my pride. The smell lingers around him like a bitter fragrance. The smell of defeat. If this reality can drag an angel like him to despair then what chance do I have?"
>You pinch the bridge of your nose, shaking your head.
"I'm going to put the rocky road in the fridge."
>Almost immediately Monika drops the act.
>"Rocky road?!? What about the mint?"
>You shrug, making your way to the kitchen.
"They were out."
>Monika pouts, crossing her arms and sinking into her chair.
>"...This reality...."
______________________________________________________________________________________
>You lay in deep slumber till something unnerves you.
>It's faint and you can't put your thumb on it, but something isn't right.
>Brushing it off, you roll over in bed to put an arm around Monika.
>Only for it to move right through where she usually was, landing on a warm spot on the bed.
>You get up, half dazed and groggy.
"Monika?"
>You question.
>She was gone, leaving you in an empty room.
>You slowly get out of bed, glancing out the window to see none other than the familiar brunette in the white poofy ribbon.
>Goddammit.
>You throw some clothes on your nude body, rushing to make your way outside.
>As you near Monika, you can hear her monologue again.
>"It's well into the night, but no stars light the way. Clouds loom over us, almost as if God doesn't want to witness the horror we've created, leaving us to our own devices. Right when I was at the lowest point in my career, a new case presents itself. I can't let this one grow cold like the others. The stakes are too high."
"Monika, if you keep doing this whenever I introduce you to some pop culture thing I'm going to stop showing you what movies look like in this reality."
>She freezes, not moving her hands from her trench coat pockets.
>She turns to face you, picking the cigar out of her lips.
>"Almost as if summoned by the mention of his case, he appears again. I still feel guilt in my gut. Guilt and anger. It's a ghost, a reminder that I HAVE to pull through on this case. To prove to him, to prove to me, that this reality has some good in it."
"Monika, I doubt the remote is all the way out here."
>She shakes her head.
>"Sorry, doll. Not the remote. This is far bigger than just that, this is bigger than you and me?"
"Monika, what are you on about?"
>She puffs out some smoke, turning around to continue walking in a dramatic fashion.
>"The case....of the mint ice cream."
>"I just want it to be all over. For me to get one moment of peace and quiet before the next damn case comes and drags me back the hell of private investigation. Will I ever be rid of this curse? This overbearing load that towers me wherever I go? Well, maybe not. But that's the life I chose isn't it? Ahahaha~!"
"There is no mint ice cream. That's why I didn't get any, please come back to bed."
>You desperately try to plead to her, but it falls in deaf ears.
>....
>You can tell because she says,
>"He desperately tires to plead to me, but it falls on deaf ears. Instead, I remain alert of my surroundings, cautious of any wolves that may lurk around any corner. Scam artists looking for tourists. Monsters who have nothing better to do. Thugs that may see Anon as easy prey."
>You chime in on the last part.
"Hey! I am NOT easy prey!"
>She stops in front of the super market, now closed because of the late hour.
>"The scene of the crime. They say lightning never strikes twice, but you can always tell where one hit. Burn marks, forest fires. Right now? I'm looking up at the biggest damn burn mark I've seen in my life. The horrid taste of crime dances on my taste buds just by standing by the evil establishment. I want to vomit at the site of it, but I keep my composure. If I panic Anon might do the same. I must remain calm for his sake. Who knows what feelings he might have right now."
"Coldness and tiredness."
>You say in response, crossing your arms over one another.
>"Doors locked....It's as if nature itself as forcing me to stay in place, begging me not to continue lest I see the horrors this place has to offer. Well sorry, darling. I'm not going to have another failure on my hands...."
>She began to make her way around the store, moving towards the back.
>You follow after, still trying to speak some reason into her.
"Don't you think you're overreacting juuuuust a bit?"
>She makes her way to the back door, emerald eyes squinting as she takes a look at it.
"There, doors locked. Can we just get on with our lives now?"
>She lowers herself to the handle, taking a pin out of her hair.
>"Still a rooky to this reality, eh, anon?"
>You now start to get a bit worried....she wasn't going to?
"Monika! That's breaking and entering! Let's just get out so we ca-"
CLICK!
>The door swing up.
>Monika stands up, pushing the pin back in her hair.
>"See? Nothing is broken! Ahaha~"
>She gave your nose a little boop with her index finger, moving in.
>You follow after, glancing around at your surroundings as you move in.
"If we get caught, we could be in serious trouble!"
>She's not listening.
>She runs directly towards the frozen foods isles.
>"I search through the frozen section. Jack Frost nibbles at my nose. It reminds me of how cold my soul grew after realizing just how corrupt this reality actually was. The cold in turn lights a fire. There still hope. Still hope for me and anon to make the most of this. I search through the ice creams. Vanilla: Plain and unsatisfying. Chocolate: It blackens out the path to what I'm looking for. Strawberry: It's red color reminds me of red veins popping on my head from my frustrations. But....No mint......There is.....No....Mint."
>Monika falls to her knees, screaming on the top of her lungs.
>You flinch slightly, looking over.
>Was she really that upset?
>You hear a sniffle.
>You move over and put a hand on her shoulder.
"Look, I'm sorry for being harsh before. But it's not the end of the world..."
>"His warm hand, it tries to comfort me. I'm glad....Glad at least something in this world is still pure. But if I ca-"
>She catches herself, looking under one of the shelves.
>"Oh!"
>She reaches under, pulling out none other than your remote.
>"Found the remote."
>You stare to it for a moment, taking it in your hand.
"What do you know....Must have left it in my pocket. Thanks."
>You look over to her face.
>Oh no.....
>There's a sparkle in her emerald eyes and a large grin on her face.
>"It's not over yet. His case is solved. I'm not going to let some 'coincidence' stop me. I'm getting down to the bottom of his mystery right now!"
"....Please don't."
>But it's too late, Monika is already looking around at the surrounding area, taking in the scenery.
>"Hmmmm. Yeah, of course. Ahahaha."
"Can we just go back to sleep, I'm getting real-"
>She points to one of the glasses to the fridge which was all smudged with finger prints
>"Can't you see it?!?"
"See what, all I see is dirty glass."
>"Dirty glass, stained by the hands of someone guilty. Caught red handed, or should I say, green handed."
>She points to the other doors, which remained clean while the other was defiled.
"Aaaaaand?"
>You say as you tilt your head.
>Monika stops, brows furrowing as her eyes squint.
>"The horrors dawn on me as the pieces of the puzzle start to align in my mind. I may have made a terrible taking Anon here. Worry begins to eat me alive bit by bit. I look at the angel dead in his grateful eyes. The hero who saved his very life, now reduced to bait for a trap. Dismayed, I utter,"
"You don't have to announce that you're going to utter something...."
>"We're not alone..."
>You were about to say something in response, but immediately, there were loud footsteps and the sounds of something being dropped.
>You nearly leap back with the sudden realization that Monika might actually be onto something here.
>And it terrified you.
>"Can't think, can't wait on emotions to dictate what to do. I have to act."
>Suddenly, Monika's hand shoots out, grasping onto your wrist.
"Monika, what the hell?!?"
>She breaks into a sprint after the noise, dragging you along with her.
>"Lightning never strikes twice. Unless that lightning is one dumb, sorry son of a bitch."
>You both cut at the end of an isle, finding the culprit running.
>Monika bolts after, taking you along with her.
>The man throws something back to you two.
>You yank Monika out of the way of the
>....
>Mint ice cream that was thrown?
>No, you refuse to believe that's what it was.
>There is no fucking way in hell someone other than Monika would be willing to go through all this over some mint ice cream.
>"His strong, gorgeous arms pull me from the projectile as we move in union as one."
"Wait, what?"
>Monika's face grows red, nearly yelping.
>"NOTHING!"
>He's nearing the front of the store.
>You yank your arm from Monika's grip, leaping forward at the suspect.
>You tackle him to the ground, crashing through the glass door of the store.
>Arms full of mint flavored ice cream hits the ground along with his large body.
>"FREEZE!"
>You hear a voice call.
>Both you and the suspect look up, finding several cop cars surrounding you with lights flashing.
>They must have tripped some sort of alarm.
"....Shit...."
>You mutter, slowly raising your hands.
>"You're going away for a long....long time you sick bastard...."
>They start to move closer to you as roll off the man, putting your hands on your head.
>But they walk right past you.
>Instead, they cuff the man you tackled, pulling him to his feet.
>"Bet you thought you were REEEEAAAAAL smug with all those ice creams you stole, didn't you? And after they restalked....What kind of sick monster are you?"
>You get back to your feet, staring in utter shock as they drag off the suspect.
>This all feels like some sort of surreal dream...
>One cop moves up to you, patting your shoulder as he spoke.
>"We've been chasing him for years. You know he stole four thousand dollars worth of mint ice cream all across this state?"
"...You're joking, right?
>The cop leans in to your face, glaring slightly at you.
>"Do I look like the joking sort?
"N-No, sir...."
>"How'd you manage to find him anyway?"
"Well, I mean, I didn't really. It was my girlfriend."
>You pointed over to the shattered window towards Monika.
>The cop rather rudely shoves you out of the way, moving towards her.
>"You've done good, kid. You ever think about joining the force."
>Monika shook her head, pulling off the dumb fedora.
>"Nah, detective flicks are kinda dumb when you think about it. Ahahaha~ I mean, they're fun, but most end up becoming cheat re-hashes of the old stuff..."
>The cop nods his head, scratching the side of his face.
>"Damn shame, you'd make a good addition to the force. Well, you just might have won me a promotion. Anything I can do for you?"
>Monika thinks for a moment, before smiling and whispering something in the cops ear.
>"Well....Breaches confidentiality a bit, but I think I can let it slide."
>Monika nods her head, and thanks the officer before moving over to her.
>She clasps both her hands in your, resting her head on your shoulder.
>"Can we start heading home? Getting a good sleep schedule is important after all! And I'd love to see your face first thing in the morning~ Ahaha~"
>You nod, beginning your journey back.
"Yeah...I'd like that."
>You were glad she was done with this dumb detective fad, but there was one mystery that you still couldn't help but worry about.
"Soooo, what did you whisper to him?"
>"Oh, that? I wanted him to tell the store owner that we were the ones who caught the thief. Maybe he'll give us free mint ice cream next time!"
>You chuckle, looking down at Monika.
"Who's the thief here again?"
>She lets off a giggle at your comment, nearing the house.
>"By the way, Anon. Can we watch that Batman movie you have tomorrow? It looks pretty cool."
>....Oh no......