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- I haven’t written green in a long time, and never in this thread, but here’s a little green I put together based on a goofy idea awhile back. Enjoy!
- ……………
- >It’s that same place
- >You walk past it every fucking day as you stroll through the south side of the market, a good 250 meters or so to the left of Bon Bon’s ultra-passive-aggressive sweet shop
- >It was so out of place in a town like Ponyville, a tiny tavern-like structure that sunk into the ground next to the antique store, almost begging not to be seen
- >You are Anon
- >And you are curious
- >Walking with a very talkative purple horse, you try to make out the sign on the door as you go by
- >”A.J.F.F.M.”
- >Ok that shit just piques the sense of intrigue, and you know you have to check it out
- >You start to walk over-
- >”Hey Anon! Where are you going? I thought we were heading back, it’s getting dark.”
- >You roll your eyes
- >Since arriving, you’ve been crashing with Twilight in her sell-more-toys castle
- >And because of that, and your lack of a job, and reversed-gender notions of these crazy tiny horses, she believes she has to-
- >Ahem. You do your best in Twilight voice in your head, playing back the memory
- >’Support the poor alien colt, who needs a strong mare to be the rock for him to lean on.’
- >Ugh
- >So needless to say she’s been treating you like a “proper stallion, m’lord”
- >You turn to her
- “Yeah I was just gonna check this place out Twi, we walk by it almost EVERY day so I just wanna see what it is. Could be like, one of those cool ma-and-pa restaurants that’s really tiny but really good or somethin’.”
- >Her eyes widen
- >”You want to go in to A.J.F.F.M.?! Anon that is no place for a stallion let alone a-“
- >Please don’t bow
- >Nope she bowed like a sperg out in public, spaghetti rocketing everywhere now
- >”Proper gentlecolt. If you want to go out why don’t we just head to that Mareisian place you like-“
- “Nah I’ll just be like a minute, Twi.”
- >Her eyes narrow
- >”No. I said it’s not safe.”
- >You stare each other down
- >And you bolt
- >She doesn’t manage to catch you as you rip the cumbersome door open and slam it in her face
- >You scramble to find a lock, and see a rusted-
- >KER-CHLINK
- >Oh still works, rad
- >Props to you going commando today too, good call
- >Free-ballin’ gives you that slight edge of speed
- >You can barely hear Twi raging on the other side of the door
- >”OPEN UP ANON THIS ISN’T FUNNY! GET OUT HERE RIGHT NOW YOU COLT OR I’LL-“
- >Well someone’s teats are twisted
- >You turn around an investigate the room
- >It looks like a dilapidated reception area, with old-timey furniture and décor straight from the 20s and 30s, but somewhat dirtied and gritty
- >You can hear club music in the background
- >You kinda like it
- >You stroll forward to see a bored-looking blue and pink mare leaning on the front desk
- >Her ears perk up when she sees you, and her tail whips up a storm
- >D’aw
- >”W-well hi there! I’m Checkered Sapphire and welcome to A.F.F.J.M.! Hee! You got the bits mare?”
- “Actually I’m a guy. Er- stallion.”
- >She looks like somebody just glassed her upside the head
- >”O-o-ooooooooooooooooooooh. Ok. Cutie, you aren’t looking for some scumbag marefriend here are you?”
- >Her eyes go from piteous to sultry
- >”Because I know how tough it can be, seeing that. Maybe you need a tougher, more friendly mare at your side. Maybe walk ya home dear?”
- >She struts over to you whilst trying to imitate a human woman, strutting and swaying her hips
- >Unfortunately, she is as graceful as a whale being thrown down a hill and her hooves clack obnoxiously loudly on the floor
- >CLACK-CLACK-CLACK
- >Fuck you have a migraine coming on
- >She leans in close to you, stretching up on her tippy-hooves to reach your chest level
- >”Or, maybe the prince can come back to my castle?”
- >Oh fuck
- >Her breath is hot and wet, as she gets right up in your face
- >Smells like a mix of liquor, peanut butter, and musk
- >”Because that’s how colts like it, right? It’s not bad to just pin one down and-“
- >Ok too far
- >Ma-anon didn’t raise a horse-fucker
- >You gently grab her hooves and set her down onto four legs
- “I just wanted to check this place out miss, so I’ll have to turn down your- um…”
- >She sways provocatively
- >Or clumsily
- “Offer. But I do want to come inside-“
- >”Me?!”
- “What?! No, inside this place.”
- >”Oh.”
- >She looks crestfallen for a minute, then perks back up
- >”Well head on in, it’s on me. And you can be on me too coltie~”
- “Uh yeah I’ll just head in.”
- >You move past the curtain as she admires your posterior
- >And-
- >Oh
- >Oh
- >OH
- >That’s why Twi didn’t want you to come here
- >This is a-
- >”Hey- hey you (hic) you want to saddle up?”
- >A drunken mare has approached and-
- >Oh yup that is indeed a female- yeesh that’s up close
- >You move around the presenting mare and look at your surroundings
- >It’s… well….
- >This looks a lot like a club
- >An unsavory club
- >Stallions, dressed in what appear to be bras for their “bits” and a really odd ornamental cover for their-
- >Thing
- >Were dancing around poles and getting friendly to mares who had a lot of money
- >Some you recognized, like Berry Punch, but most of them looked like a mix of just regular townsfolk and sleazy underbelly types
- >It was crowded too
- >Was this the town’s dirty secret?
- >You move around various patrons and workers, some sizing you up and immediately putting together that you must be a fine piece of meat
- >”Ey there big fella, want to try out of these bad fillies?”
- >A shady-looking mare puts up a teat
- >Ew
- >But you had to say it
- “So I’m a big guy.”
- >”Yeah, you are one scrumptious, big colt~”
- “4U.”
- >You move on
- >Can’t let the hotheads keep you down
- >Maybe this place wouldn’t be so bad with a drink
- >After all, you’ve probably got time before Twi has a nuclear meltdown outside
- >You zig and zag towards the bar, taking a seat at an ancient stool that is a tad too small for you
- >Still, you can appreciate the scenery
- >It’s kinda got a Prohibition-era speakeasy vibe to it, with dim lighting and plenty of early 20th century design mixed with splotches of modernity
- >You order a drink from a stallion whom keeps getting harassed by a couple of mares who “accidentally” keep spilling their drinks on him, getting him all moist
- >You take a sip
- >It ain’t bad
- >Weak, but tangy, with a light touch of peanut butter
- >Maybe this is what the reception mare drinks
- >THUD
- >You feel a pound on your back, and turn to see a beaming cobalt mare
- >She was clearly a step above the patrons, as she was well dressed, and her indigo and lemon mane was done up tidily
- >She took a seat next to you at the bar, eyes filled with-
- >Excitement?
- >Hard to tell
- >”You’re that new colt I heard about, the freaky alien one.”
- >Her voice is soothing and rhythmic, though she has to raise it a bit to be heard over the song being played currently, a jazz piece with high zings and crescendos
- >”Name is Glisten Sapphire. I’m the owner of A.J.F.F.M.”
- “Sapphire? Like the mare at the front desk?”
- >”Ha-ha, yeah, she’s my sister, sorry if she got too close for comfort she has a bad habit of being too eager.”
- >Glisten leans in, and you feel slightly less comfortable
- >”But she’s doing her job if she let you bounce in here, you fine piece of work.”
- >She lays a hoof on your shoulder
- >Now this is uncomfortable
- “Uh, yeah. So, this place is an um-“
- >”Entertainment center.”
- >She glares for a few seconds
- >”Don’t forget that.”
- “Right, so what does A.J.F.F.M. stand for?”
- >”Should be obvious honey-bunny.”
- >She perks her eyebrows and whispers into your ear
- >”A Joint For Frustrated Mares. I just thought the acronym was a little nicer for the public.”
- >Ok you need some space, she’s practically on top of you now
- >You scoot back a bit, and she leans back onto her stool, clearly disappointed but still showing a resolve
- >”So, can I ask a favor?”
- >You let out a “hm?” while sipping
- >”This place hasn’t been doing as well as normal, but I’m looking to get it back on the right track. I think we need a bit more variety in here, a little more spice-“
- >You did not like where this was going
- >”-so I thought, maybe some new talent will bring in mares and their ‘entourage.’ You know? Fresh sights, smells, the works. And then this alien colt stumbles in, innocuous as can be, and I hatched a little idea-“
- “No.”
- >”But why not?”
- >She mock-pouted at you
- “I am not stripping for you.”
- >”Oh don’t use that dreadful word! It’s more like… hm… presenting really. And it’s just one night, and if you don’t like it you still get paid.”
- >Paid
- >Shit
- >You did want to make some of your own money
- >You’ve been doing odd jobs to save up from moving out of the castle, but progress has been glacial at best
- >This may be a way to expedite that
- >Fuck damn it
- “Pay? How much?”
- >Her expression changes, and she lights up like Derpy on a tree
- >”200 bits for tonight.”
- >That’s generous
- >But she’s desperate
- >Renegade time
- “No less than 400.”
- >”B-but that’s double what I usually pay newbies.”
- “And humans aren’t exactly lining up to be here. You’ll make plenty back. I’m exotic.”
- >She thinks for a minute
- >”Fine. You drive a hard bargain you know that? But-“
- >She leans in on you again, wrapping her fore-legs around your head
- >”You may just perform the CPR this place needs, and have these mares drop a lot of money in tips. Of course, this establishment isn’t the only thing that could go mouth-to-mouth-“
- >She starts to lick your ear
- >Ugh
- >You stand up quickly and she almost tumbles to the floor
- “This is gonna be quick. No weird stuff.”
- >”That’s fine. Just down to the colt panties is fine. I’ll tell the others to put away the octopus for a different time.”
- >EWWWWWWWWW
- >Fuck let’s get this over with
- >You make your way to the stage as Glisten Sapphire bolts to the sound system’s microphone
- >”Mares and gentlecolts! We have a new performer tonight, one who is sure to shock you with exoticism and- ahem- eroticism.”
- >Her awkward joke goes mildly applauded
- >”He will be doing a classic performance followed by a brief interaction-based period-“
- >The fuck did she mean by that?
- >You were in the back getting prepped on what’s to happen from a stallion in drag
- >Is that-
- “Caramel?”
- >The stallion’s eyes become medallions
- >Yup, gotcha
- >”N-n-n-no! I’m Hot Mocha, a performer here! Whatever do you speak of?!”
- >Oh, stage-names!
- >Right
- >Wait, then what’s your-
- >”Introducing Monkey Fever! He’s bringing the banana and coconuts today!”
- >The crowd goes wild as they immediately piece together who it is
- >Being that you are the only human and all
- >Fuck life
- >Caramel shoves you on-stage, and a few of the friskier female patrons whistle and cheer
- >”Get a load of that flank!”
- >”Just show your balls already, I’m half-way!”
- >”Somebody get some salad dressing!”
- >”Bend over! You dropped something behind you!”
- >”I want to take that tie you’re wearing and choke you with it till you’re blue in the face, wriggling for life underneath me, all sweaty as I feel up your-“
- >Everyone stares at the mare being weird
- >Stop being weird weird-O
- >Oh it’s that one that presented to you
- >Well, good to know she’s the one who likes weird stuff
- >Best to steer clear of that
- >Or not
- >Whatever you like, really
- >Glisten speaks once more
- >”R-right. Anyway, do your thing Monkey Fever!”
- >The maneuvers don’t prove to be hard
- >It’s mostly just strutting, dancing, and smiling to a few of the up close patrons
- >Bits fly as you go on
- >You take off your suit piece by piece as you go, till you’re just down to-
- >Oh no
- >Your pants
- >It hit you what she said earlier
- >”Just down to the colt panties is fine.” Remember?
- >Problem is-
- >You went commando today
- >No undies
- >Oh shit
- >You looks over to see Glisten beaming and waving at you
- >She knew
- >She had to know
- >You continue to go on but the crowd grows restless, and shout for ‘moar’ become more frequent
- >Just keep going, just keep going-
- >The crowd is in a fever pitch now, demanding the last article be removed
- >You plead with your eyes at Glisten
- >She smiles
- >That bit-
- >All of a sudden you can feel a magic tug on you as your pants begin to rip
- >Oh fucking shit
- >Suddenly several mares get on stage and many more use magic and touch you
- >Inappropriately
- >You can feel your pants coming off
- >You can also feel a tie loop around your neck and pull
- >You look out to see the weird mare staring at you lustily, horn glowing
- >You’ve got to be kidding me
- ………….
- >Be Twi Horse
- >You must defend your husbando’s honor
- >You finally found out the weakness to the door
- >You can’t magically blast it open, but you can use magic to just unlock it from the outside
- >Now you feel kinda silly
- >You barge in, galloping past an empty reception desk and go down and see-!
- >It’s worse than expected!!!
- >Way worse!!!
- >Defend the fair colt!!!
- >You are Anon again
- >You wake up groggily
- >Weird mare must’ve choked you out
- >You can feel yourself being pulled across the stage by someone, moving you off to the side as Twi seems to be admonishing mares on-stage
- >They don’t look all that sorry though
- >You dazedly look up to see Glisten hovering over you
- >”So…. See you Monday then?”
- >She smiles
- >You sigh
- >It’s a long walk home with Twi
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