Chain 007: Buffyverse

Chain 007: Buffyverse
Location: Sunnydale, CA
Age: 16
Identity: Spare Key
Drawbacks: [+500] The Body, The Perfect Heart
(Abilities: Savant, Multitalent, Alchemist)
[300/1500] Brilliant
[600/1500] Robotics Genius
[1200/1500] Sorcery Savant
[1500/1500] Superhero Collection (Spare Key)

As I wake in this world, I try to grasp my otherworldly abilities, but they escape my grasp like sand between my finger. The most important ones, those I can keep, but... not only am I limited in the number of abilities, but in the metaphorical weight they have. If I wanted to be an Achron, I would have to surrender all of the rest. If I wanted low-key abilities, I would be limited to three. Vexing. At least it seems that the abilities I've gained anew are all active... though that will probably pass when my time here ends, once again.

In any event ... I'm sixteen. Again. This is amazing. And by amazing, I mean I have to question everything behind this. Sixteen is a strange number to be fixated on. At least, unless you're playing No Man's Sky. But in any event... it looks like I'm going to be stuck in high school here. By which I mean I went for a walk to get a lay of the land and was immediately set upon by a truancy officer, who took me to said high school, where I enrolled in classes and given the tour by a redhead after brief placement tests put me in gifted classes. After that, I was promptly shoehorned into the plot and derailed everything immediately, because Jesse did not die and become a vampire, which... really, made the investment much reduced from what it would have been initially. And honestly, Jesse is a decent guy, even if he's fixated on the hot cheerleader; my first time around in high school I had a similar issue, though I was never suicidal enough to think I stood a chance there.

Still, fond memories.

In any event, I was largely on the periphery of things despite making friends with them, and Jesse and Xander went to save Buffy when she marched right into her imminent death. Jesse did end up dying from charging in like a foolhardy idiot, but his death at least served a purpose, being a distraction in order to give Buffy an opening. Which affected Xander and Willow quite badly. Doubly so when Xander asked me to go along to help him deal with Jesse, when I met him at the funeral and we had a very frank discussion about barbeque related fatalities. And after that... I ended up being a bigger part of things.

And sure, we took things easy, but Xander did not turn down a few elixirs on the side to help him keep his eyes open and help out at night, or to become a little more effective as a combatant.

Also I might have broken into Amy's house, bopped her mom with a baseball bat, and then left her a gift wrapped youth elixir.

The thing that really made everything go off the rails, though... Halloween. Because of course Halloween. Buffy refused any advice to the contrary on the dress, because of course she would. Xander refused any money to get a better costume, because of course he would. Willow wore a sheet, because of course she did. And I... ended up with a mishmash of props I'd picked up in hopes of convincing others to use them. So on a lark, I tossed on a bathrobe and a quick paper mask covered in tinfoil and went as Doctor Doom, and claimed the rest were spoils of war or part of the costume. Just to troll Snyder. The worst costume anyone could possibly ever have.

(MISTAKES WERE MADE OH SO MANY MISTAKES WERE MADE)

When I came back to myself, I had some very explicit directions that I was told to follow when Doom and I meet, and that oh yes we would most certainly meet. Oh, and I had the battered and broken body of Ethan Rayne at my feet, and a not-very-horrified Rupert Giles looking on.

After that I withdrew from things quite a bit to try and get things sorted. The shield... well, it wasn't vibranium, but it was pretty damn resilient, and worth studying. And hey, that tricorder is capable of studying it effectively. With the right tools, it could be replicated in a home forge, as long as you're patient. Repulsor gauntlets are useful, too, and not just in offense - they can be used for more, and provide insight into other anomalous tech. A kevlar vest isn't very interesting, but it's still useful. And a compact HUD in the helmet, among other things, could be useful too.

As time progressed, I gained a girlfriend. Kendra was surprisingly decent, which was a bit of a shock, and not nearly as naive as she put on. She had her heart ripped out by the Gentlemen. Somehow, according to Buffy, this was my fault.

(Kitbashed power armor was seen pursuing the Gentlemen and attacking with surprising effectiveness.)

I fell further away from the group as I tried to learn as much about magic as I could. Life went on.

(The Gentlemen came, not in peace. The Gentlemen went, mostly in pieces.)

I gained the attention of the mayor, between the tech and the armor, and when Faith fell under his sway... well, I was her sidekick. He was a surprisingly decent guy, to be honest; he knew I was otherworldly, even if most of my power was from here, but honestly... despite going for full ascension, he wasn't that bad. I decided it was better to let him dig his own grave - either I'd be on the winning team, or I'd escape the wreckage with a much-enriched knowledge of magic.

Things ended predictably. And explosively.

(Amy had her heart ripped out by the Gentlemen.)

(Using a rage-fueled mix of magic and technology, I tore a hole into the Gentlemen's home dimension and filled it with napalm.)

Glory came.

Glory stole a robot filled with ketchup instead of a person filled with blood.

Ben woke up and wondered why he was wearing a dress again, and how many orders of fries he must have ordered. He was standing at ground zero of a thermobaric explosion when the core of the key-bot detonated.

Glory found a new host and things went badly for her - the portal was unstable and tore her to pieces. And the host ... well, Glory was ripped out of her, but she was already dying before she had been possessed. It was already inevitable.

(We'll all miss Joyce.)

I grew closer to the group again. Life went on. Buffy vocally disapproved of my prior actions. Willow was her cheerleader. I gave them a dressing down about becoming bullies, and told Willow to tone down the lesbian undertones for the kids at home. That was apparently an epiphany for her.

Xander walked in on Buffy and Willow playing tonsil hockey after a late night of slaying and things got weird, from what I hear. They don't talk about what happens after slaying, these days, apparently Faith had the right of it.

(At least Tara didn't die from being shot, but damn. I guess Xander really is one of the girls, that must be why he's the only guy involved in that mess - suppose at least one of his fantasies came true. I don't ask. They don't tell. I think I'm the only one NOT invited, aside from the Watchers and the other guys. And Dawn, because that would be a little TOO weird.)

I did the heavy lifting on the research, along with Dawn and Giles and Andrew. Things calmed. The First Evil came. The First Evil went. Along with Sunnydale. Hell of a lot more Slayers afterward, though; I helped get the Academy set up and accredited. A few bribes and old favors owed can go a long way. With an army of Slayers, I was able to concentrate primarily on research - and making that makeshift armor into something a lot more sleek and impressive. Still much less Iron Man and more Doctor Doom, though.

(On a Tuesday, Dawn lost her voice.)

(Do you know what happens to a Gentleman struck by lightning? The same thing that happens to everything else.)

The Seed of Wonder was never destroyed, because someone was able to talk her out of it, having an inkling it might happen. Stupid apocalypses averted counter goes up yet again.

(The following year, Dawn lost her voice again at an inopportune time. Key-bots handled it, this time. Apparently robotic hearts don't satisfy. Neither does incendiary rounds.)

Cleveland sucks. Africa sucks. Rome sucks. Buffy's taste in boyfriends sucks when she goes through the times of thinking she isn't a lesbian this month, and I keep hearing about it all the time. Dawn says the bleach in her hair dye leeched into her brain. I think she's right.

(When people started losing their voice the year after that, I shoved a nuke in their home dimension. They stopped coming after that. Nine times is nine too many.)

But there are worse fates- wait, my ten years are up?! GET ME THE HELL OUT OF HERE--