I don't know

Jan 2nd, 2018
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  1. >Be Anon
  2. >And instead of being home and welcoming the new year as you had done every year before with a nice nap, you were at a party being thrown at Pinkie’s place.
  3. >All around you the various students who’d also shown up were milling about.
  4. >Some were talking
  5. >Others drank from the obviously spiked punch
  6. >Some of the girls were giving each other high fives after coming out of a closet with various guys
  7. >Your feet hurt
  8. >You wanted to go home, play some games and go to sleep.
  9. >But no, you had to have that momentary lapse in judgement and actually go outside and socialize
  10. >Fucking fuck
  11. >”Hey there”
  12. >Here we fucking go again
  13. >Turning towards the person who decided that you warranted a conversation you couldn’t help but frown
  14. >Goddamn Rainbow Dash
  15. >”What’re you doin’ here all by yourself hot stuff?”
  16. >The alcohol on her breath hit your senses before the words even touched your ears
  17. “Trying not to catch something that might require penicillin in the morning.”
  18. >Giggling drunkenly the blue skinned girl moved closer into your personal space
  19. >”Don’t be like that, you don’t want to ring in the new year by yourself do you?”
  20. >You really did though
  21. >”So how about you and me find ourselves a nice place where we can shoot off some fireworks together.”
  22. >Wiggling her eyebrows suggestively Rainbow licked her lips
  24. “I’m good thanks, but Thunderlane over there said he wouldn’t say to a quickie”
  25. >Pointing at the visibly nervous and out of place male at the party you prayed that the inebriated girl took the bait
  26. >”Did he now? Well looks like you get to miss out on some Dash sweet cheeks, better luck next year.”
  27. “Poor me”
  28. >Turning on her heel Rainbow made her way over to Thunderlane, nearly tripping on the bean bag chair that lay forgotten on the ground
  29. >You were safe
  30. >For now
  31. >But you couldn’t let your guard down
  32. >The first chance you got you were going to slip the fuck out of this place and run home
  33. >Then you were going to lock your doors and avoid all human contact possible
  34. >”Now that wasn’t very nice.”
  35. >A husky voice tingled against your ear sending shivers down your spine
  36. “jbdbjfbnejl!”
  37. >Out of reflex you jumped forward and grabbed the closest thing to protect yourself
  38. >Mainly a candy dish that was filled with…
  39. >Condoms
  40. >You’d make it work
  41. >Looking at your assailant your eyes widened in fear
  42. >Not her, anyone but her
  43. >”Ahhh don’t look at me like that. I won’t bite, unless you want me to.”
  44. >Sunset Shimmer, the girl who ate boys for lunch and left them as shriveled up husks stood grinning ear to ear.
  45. >From the looks of it she found her newest victim
  46. >And it was you
  47. >Double fuck
  48. “Uhh hi there Sunset. What brings you here so late?”
  49. >Still clutching the candy bowl of contraceptives with +2 agility you eyed the newcomer with apprehension
  50. >This girl nearly blew up the school and when she failed at that she went ahead and decided that every guy was her plaything
  51. >The only reason you were spared was due to your rejection of all human contact
  52. >And you had to go and fuck up your scorestreak on survival
  53. >Good job numbnuts
  54. >Maybe they’ll put that on your gravestone
  55. >Here lies Anon, he fucked up
  56. >Slowly inching closer Sunset sized up your weapon
  57. >”I had another party that I had to go to, but this one is definitely more lively.”
  58. “You don’t say.”
  59. >Taking a step back as she took one forward your eyes began searching for an escape
  60. >You could probably dive out that window
  61. >It’d probably hurt like a son’a’bitch but you’d be alive
  62. >”So are you going to offer me some candy or you going to hog that thing all to yourself?”
  63. >Candy?
  64. >Wha- oh fuck
  65. >Her eyes locked onto the contents of the dish causing her smile to turn into a predatory grin
  66. >”Looks like you’re more eager than I expected.”
  67. >Nope
  68. >Dropping the candy dish and your only means of protection you ran
  69. >Knocking a few other people over along the way out the house
  70. >Not today shimmy sham
  71. >Your ascension to full wizard wasn’t going to be destroyed by the she-demon tonight
  73. >Be Sunset Shimmer
  74. >You watched as Anon ran from the room screaming
  75. >And you weren’t looking at that butt as he did
  76. >No ma’am, you were a fully reformed pony/human after all
  77. >Sighing loudly you began picking up the condoms that now lay littered on the ground
  78. >Maybe you came on a little too strong with him
  79. >The books that Twilight kept pestering you to read all said that males liked aggressive girls who took charge of the situation
  80. >And that’s what you did with zero success
  81. >Every guy so far either ran off terrified or just broke down crying
  82. >Bucking ninnies
  83. >What’s a girl got to do to get some these days
  84. >Back when you were a queen bee around here all you had to do was snap your fingers and you’d have a guy ready to do whatever you wanted
  85. >Now you were lucky if one didn’t threaten to press charges
  86. >That’s probably why you set your sights on Anon
  87. >He pretty much stuck to himself and didn’t talk to anyone
  88. “Just you wait Anon, we’re not through getting to know each other just yet.”
  89. >Letting out a sinister laugh you raised your hands high
  90. >Several people backed away out of fear, but what the fuck did you care
  92. >The school cafeteria during lunch could best be described as a living organism made up of different parts.
  93. >Each more idiotic and nonsensical than the other
  94. >It was the equivalent of a platypus
  95. >The fucked up little creature that it was
  96. >You always chose to sit alone and eat your lunch in relative peace and quiet
  97. >That very peace afforded you time to recharge from the stupidity of the other students and faculty
  98. >Or just time to catch up on your homework so you wouldn’t have to do it later
  99. >It was a nice little system you had going
  100. >Do the work now and have time for video games later
  101. >Taking a bite of your peanut butter and banana sandwich you glanced around the lunchroom
  102. >The cliques all had their own sections
  103. >The jocks and their boy-toys up front
  104. >They were the loudest of all the groups
  105. >Often cheering or just being asshats
  106. >The nerds were right beside them
  107. >Normally this would have raised some eyebrows due to the social hierarchy, but these were the nerds that got protection in exchange for doing their overlords homework
  108. >Then there were the band geeks and musicians
  109. >Some laughing and joking while holding their instruments and showing off to one another
  110. >Why the fuck they weren’t eating in the place designed for it was beyond you
  111. >The noise of the place in general drowned out just about everything else that was happening
  112. >Some of the teachers who drew the short straws and got stuck supervising you all milled about as well
  113. >None of them truly paid any attention to the students
  114. >Some of the known school bullies were busy extorting money in plain sight after all
  115. >But could you blame them though?
  116. >They already had to deal with most of these shitstains on a daily basis in the classrooms
  117. >Popping the remainder of the sandwich in your mouth you reached into your lunchbag and pulled out the next course
  118. >Fucking carrots
  119. >… and a bottle of ketchup
  120. >What? Don’t look at me like that
  121. >It’s perfectly normal okay
  122. >You needed to eat veggies and the tomato-y condiment made it just a little more bearable
  123. >Besides if you ate all your veggies you would be able to indulge in the double chocolate chip and macadamia brownie you brought
  124. >With your focus completely on the lunch before you, you failed to notice a lone bacon-haired figure approach
  125. >Some of the students in your immediate area were the smart ones and nope’d right the fuck out the moment they noticed her
  126. >You weren’t so lucky
  127. >”Enjoying your lunch Anon?”
  128. >Chocking on the carrot you just popped into your mouth due to the familiar voice you began slamming your fist against your chest as you coughed
  129. >Dear fucking Christ
  130. >Not her
  131. >Not now
  132. >Coughing loudly you peered at the she-devil that took a seat right across from you at the table
  133. >Didn’t she have some freshman to torture or something
  134. “Do you really have nothing better to do than mess with me right now?”
  135. >The smile on the girl’s face didn’t even falter from your question
  136. >”Not really.”
  137. >Great
  138. >Grabbing your juice box you squeezed it to get the rest of the delicious liquid out while still eyeing the madwoman
  139. >MMmmm juicy
  140. >The juice, not her
  141. ”How about a bribe then. I got five dollars in my wallet, it’s all yours if you leave me the fuck alone.”
  142. >Resting her chin on her folded hands Sunset looked as if she was honestly contemplating your offer.
  143. >Yes
  144. >Let the greed win Sunset
  145. >”Nah, spending time here is worth much more”
  146. >Fucking sadistic bitch
  147. >She probably got off on messing with people
  148. “No bribe then, so what will it take for you to leave me the hell alone?”
  149. >The smile on Sunset’s face only increased and took on a more devious appearance
  150. >Dammit
  151. >You should have just kept your damn mouth shut and left
  152. >”Better question would be why your cock isn’t pumping my womb full yet?”
  153. >You fell out of your seat at that
  154. >The area around the two of you went dead silent as most of the girl’s jaws dropped and the boys blushed heavily
  155. >WHAT the fuck!?
  156. >Scrambling up you grabbed your lunchbag and fled
  157. >There were no words to describe what just happened
  158. >This woman was crazy
  159. >And your dad was very clear about crazy women
  160. >Run Anon, run and don’t look back
  161. >Bitches be crazy and they love nothing more than fucking you over with their crazy
  162. >From now on you were going to eat your lunch in the bathroom
  163. >Far the fuck away from this loony
  165. >Be Shim Sham
  166. >And Fluttershy’s advice didn’t work as well as you had hoped
  167. >Anon didn’t take to the direct approach
  168. >Your proclamation of wanting his baby batter didn’t result him in taking you right there in the middle of the cafeteria
  169. >He did not bend you over the table and mark you with his seed
  170. >Bucking buck
  171. >What the buck did a girl have to do to get some dick around here?
  172. >Oh look he left his bag of carrots
  173. >… and ketchup?
  174. >Who dips carrots in ketchup?
  175. >Popping one of the orange colored veggies in your mouth you contemplated your next move
  176. >The direct approach didn’t work
  177. >That much was sure
  178. >Picking up the bag you stood up and headed towards the exit
  179. >You needed a better plan
  180. >A plan where Anon couldn’t escape preferably
  181. >Like a lightbulb going on over your head you snapped your fingers
  182. >You knew just the mare- err woman that would have some sound advice and would definitely know exactly what to do
  183. >The students around you however didn’t share your optimism from the looks of it
  184. >Most avoided making any eye contact as you walked towards the exit and several of the guys that did gave you scathing looks
  185. >And Miss Cheerilee was giving you a thumbs up
  186. >What a weirdo
  187. >But no time to dwell on your image
  188. >Right now you needed to lay down the groundwork for giving Anon some Vitamin V
  190. >Be Shimmiest of the Sham
  191. >And after your last failed attempt to woo Anonymous you decided to bring in some outside help
  192. >That plan consisted of getting help from one of the only women in an actual healthy relationship that you knew
  193. >And it wasn’t shaping up to be much of anything
  194. >One step forward and two steps back
  195. >Dean Cadence looked ecstatic that you came to her for help with your predicament
  196. >”Have you tried getting him drunk and grabbing his dick?”
  197. >Your eye twitched
  198. “I can’t buy alcohol yet and I’m pretty sure that would get me in trouble”
  199. >”Never stopped me when I was your age.”
  200. >You should be surprised
  201. >But somehow you doubted that she was kidding
  202. “I’m not looking to have a one night stand, more long term.”
  203. >Humming thoughtfully the dean leaned back in her seat
  204. >”You could always break into his house when he’s aslee—“
  205. >Wringing your hand you felt your blood pressure rise before cutting her off
  206. “I was hoping to get advice that didn’t end with me locked up in jail or worse.”
  207. >How this woman ever managed to get married was beyond your comprehension
  208. >”Well if you’re not ready for the more direct approach we can go a bit softer.”
  209. “I tried the direct approach and all it did was make him run away.”
  210. >”So he’s a little shy, but I have an idea that might help you win him over and help him get over that shyness.”
  211. >Thank bucking Celestia
  212. “I’m listening”
  213. >Dean Cadence began looking through her desk drawers for god knows what
  214. >To be honest you were getting worried
  215. >”Gotcha.”
  216. >Whatever it was that she was looking for she must have found because she gave you a look that made the hairs on the back of your neck stand
  217. >”One way to win yourself a man is to show him exactly what he’s missing out on.”
  218. “Okay.”
  219. >Slamming the object on the desk your expression changed to that of confusion
  220. “A camera?”
  221. >”Yup. So here’s what you’re going to do.”
  222. >This better be worth it
  224. >Be Anon again
  225. >Why? Because god hated you
  226. >And he’s a vengeful and vindictive dick
  227. >A dick that makes your free time disappear and mornings come way too soon
  228. >Walking up the steps to Canterlot High you let out a large yawn
  229. >Just remember Anon
  230. >Get through these classes and you’d be home free
  231. >And from the sounds of it there was going to be a snowstorm tomorrow so you might get a snow day
  232. >Fuck yeah
  233. >Moving past the other students you were happy to notice that most of them shared your hatred of the morning routine
  234. >Lyra Heartstring had her face pressed against the locker with her eyes closed
  235. >And judging by the line of drool making its way down the side of the locker and snoring she was fast asleep
  236. >How she managed to sleep like that without falling over or just crumbling down was beyond you
  237. >Moving towards your own locker you spied another girl that defied all logic
  238. >Pinkamena Diane Pie
  239. >The resident party girl
  240. >She was skipping happily down the hall without a care in the world
  241. >A big mug of coffee in her hand
  242. “Hell has a special place for morning people.” You grumbled to yourself
  243. >Moving along you continued to pass students as they prepared themselves for another exciting day of learning
  244. >Reading the numbers on the lockers you found yours
  245. >115
  246. >Reaching up to put in the combination you froze
  247. “The hell is going on here?”
  248. >The lock was undone
  249. >You never left your locker open
  250. >Ever
  251. >You learned that in freshman year after you found in filled to the brim with crusty old panties
  252. “I swear to god if there’s some fucked up shit in there I’m going to fucking lose it”
  253. >Despite the warnings that were going off in your hand you pulled open the door
  254. >Jesus titty fucking Christ
  255. >There were pictures
  256. >A lot of them
  257. >Every inch of your locker was covered in them
  258. >Different angles of a nice supple rack
  259. >A butt that definitely looked toned with just the right amount of fat
  260. >If this was some sort of twisted pran-
  262. >Wait a tick
  263. >One picture lay on top of your chemistry textbook
  264. >And it got your whole undivided attention and woke you up completely
  265. >In it was definitely a girl spreading her pussy lips apart
  266. >The pink glistening folds, the neatly trimmed bush
  267. >Wait… if those are her hands
  268. >Who the fuck was taking the picture?
  269. >Picking the picture up you examined it further
  270. >For science
  271. >Definitely not because this might have been a vagina that belonged to one of the girls in school
  272. >Flipping the picture over you noticed some writing on the back
  273. ~There’s more where this came from hot stuff~
  274. >Throwing the picture back in your locker you quickly grabbed your textbook and shut it
  275. >You didn’t have time to figure this out at the moment
  276. >You needed to get to class
  278. >Be Sunset “The Dick Magnet” Shimmer
  279. >Your jaw was on the ground
  280. >You couldn’t believe it
  281. >It worked
  282. >It BUCKING worked!
  283. >Anon didn’t run away
  284. >He didn’t start screaming or anything like that
  285. >And most importantly he didn’t call the cops
  286. >From your vantage point you saw him pick up one of the pictures and read the little message you left on the back
  287. >And he didn’t throw it away
  288. >That crazy Dean’s advice actually worked
  289. >You were hyperventilating
  290. >Keep it together filly
  291. >Looking around to ensure you weren’t spotted you took off towards Dean Cadence office at a sprint
  292. >If her crazy idea worked then you needed to know what to do next
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