Taako Durability 5

Griffin: Uh, okay so back to the top of the order, we still have a very small slime and we have the grounded dire bear. Taako, before you do anything… You, um, I want you to make a dexterity saving throw and you’re gonna have some disadvantage on it.

Justin: Okay.

Griffin: So you’re gonna roll twice and take the lower two of the rolls.

[Dice rolling]

Justin: ‘Kay. [Rolls dice again]

Griffin: What was that first one?

Justin: 4. Second one’s a 10.

Griffin: ‘Mkay. Um I wasn’t sure if you should have disadvantage on that, but regardless both of those fail… Somethin’.. Something unlucky happens.

Justin: Hotchi mama, oh no. Oh no, aw beans.

Travis: [laughs] Oh, dang.

Griffin: You feel something, um, tap your shoulder. And you hear “clinkclinkclinkclink” and you look down and there is a bolt, like a nuts and bolts bolt laying on the ground. And, not a second after you see that bolt on the ground, one of these giant pieces of a washing machine sized piece of industrial machinery, uh, falls from the ring on the ceiling, and lands on you.

Justin: … You’re gonna kill America’s favourite wizard.

[Clint chuckles]

Travis: As played by Adam Sandler.

Clint: Use your butt power!

Griffin: [rolling dice] Oh my god. Hey, how much, how much health does Taako have?

Justin: I’m not gonna tell you.

[Dice rolling]

Griffin: Oh, tell me.

Justin: No, I’m not gonna tell you.

Griffin: [very guilty, high pitched tone] How’s uhhh, what’s uhh, what’s 39 points of damage do for you?

Justin: Nah, I’m good.

Griffin: [sighs, relieved] Okay, you are also pinned under this heavy piece of machinery.

Justin: I’m not good, hold on! [laughs]

Clint: He’s not happy!

Justin: I don’t wanna give you the wrong impression, shit is whack.

Griffin: Um, you’re pinned. You’re prone, and you’re pinned underneath this huge piece of heavy machinery, let’s say it like, uh, hit you at the waist and so you are pinned underneath this thing and you’re like, you’re fuckin’ like - and we don’t really get into this like we always talk about sort of in the abstract damage, but you’re like hurt. A fuckin’ washing machine fuckin’ fell like ten feet and landed on you. Um, so that’s where you’re at and it is now your turn.

-Ep. 53, The Suffering Game, 24:44