BisonBison - Applebucking Thighs

>You're lazing about the statue with your радость and relatively new friends
>Thanks to AJ, breaking into life in your new home city has been nice these past few months
>She's explained the fuckery that happened during lunch to you
>You believe her of course. After what you saw, anyone would
>Flash mobs that make people argue instead of dance?
>That ain't right
>So here you are, waiting for their unicorn-friend-from-another-dimension named Twilight Sparkle
>The only hope for returning things to normal
>Or is this whole magic deal what's normal now?
>You fucking hope not
>Why couldn't you just be here with AJ & company for the sake of being with AJ & company
>It's great to have friends and a special someone to care for outside of your family
>But a trio of hostile eldritch sexbombs threatens all of that
>From what Shimmer's told you, Twilight Sparkle has an idea of what to do about them
>Now if she can just get here
...
>It's been a couple hours, your ass hurts, but the horse-girl of the hour arrives
>The girls do that thing that all gal friends do when they haven't seen each other in a while
>...While you just stand there and give Twilight a dumb look and wave
>Applejack gives you a "you're hopeless" look and takes a hold of your arm
>"You know Anon here right Twilight?"
>"Oh, yes. So you're Anonymous. I'm Twilight Sparkle. Sunset's told me all about you"
"She has? Well. It's nice to meet you. And you can just call me Anon"
>You glance at Sunset for her two cents in this conversation
>What did she tell her?
>You only get a mischievous smile
>What the fuck has she planned this time
>Twilight's eyeing AJ and yourself curiously
>"Ok. I'll remember that. You two are awfully close aren't you?"
>She's onto you-Wait you don't have to be nervous
>AJ fully wraps her arms around yours and holds you close
>"Well shoot, you didn't know? We're a couple. He's mah green apple fritter"
>Her open affection really gets to you, in a good way
>It still makes you nervous showing people that side of you though
>AJ looks up at you with her encouraging eyes
>Yeah, you'll drop the bomb with her
"Yep. I'm her boyfriend indeed"
>Twilight looks shocked but lights up a moment later
>"You two are going out?! Omigosh how come no one ever told me?!"
>She goes to the both of you with her hands at her chest, ecstatic
>"How long have you been together?"
"Since-"
>"Are you going steady? Words words words words words..."
>The rest of her questions blur together as you think on the second one
>You're assured that the answer to that is yes
>But now you're very nervous
>Overwhelmed in fact
>She's been steamrolling you with questions and your thousand yard stare shows it
>Both of you appreciate how excited Twilight is about this but it needs to stop
>With an understanding smile, AJ intervenes, "Now hold yer horses sugarcube! Let us do some of the talkin' will ya?"
>"Oh! Sorry! I didn't mean to overwhelm you. I just love hearing about two people pursuing love in each other"
>She's just as flustered as you now
"I can see that"
>The rest of the girls are talking to Twilight and catching up
>Speaking of flustered
>Is this what Shimmer wanted? To get you flustered?
>Well if that's the case it worked
>"You looked like you were having a hemorrhage"
'And you made sure in all your power that happened you little minx'
"Can you blame me? I've never dated anyone before"
>"Oh, don't worry for nothin' Anon. Granny Smith always told me hard times are never few and far between so when they come up, it's better to take it head on and get 'er done!"
>Granny Smith's words of wisdom are the light of your days
>And you let what AJ just said sink in
>...
>Wow
>You're not sure if she realizes the implications or not but you let the subject die
>"So, we'll see you tomorrow girls. And Anon. I've got this. Come on"
>"Where are ya goin'?"
>"Well last time we were here, Spike and I spent the night in the library"
"I can imagine that's about as comfortable as it sounds"
>Twilight began taking the stairs from the main corridor in Pinkie's house
"I'm surprised Pinkie's dad let me stay. I swear he made a step toward the ax in the living room"
>The guy looked like he was about to chase you down the streets while swinging that at your legs
>She half-chuckled half-winced at that comment and got out of sight
'I'd better take the hint and leave it that'
>Thank goodness Pinkie's mom was there to soften him up
>"He definitely trusts Pinkie's judge of character"
>That made you freeze in surprise
>Probably just one of Pinkie's siblings but that still spooked you
>"He just got caught up in himself"
"...Oh, hi. I'm Anon"
>"I'm Maud, Pinkie's oldest sister. Make yourself at home, and I wouldn't keep Pinkie waiting any more than she has to"
"Gotcha"
'What an easy-going sister'
>Pinkie's room is probably humid since there's so many people
>Alright, there's a comfortable, cool breeze coming from inside as you get closer
>"Oh, did you just meet Maud? She's great isn't she?"
'Why do you people sneak around your own house like this?'
"Yeah I did, she's easy to talk to"
>"I know right!?"
"...Weren't you upstairs?"
>"Yeah"
>You shouldn't respond
>'Oh well'
>Following her in, you see Dash and AJ playing a fighting game of some kind and decide to watch from Pinkie's bed
>They're both pretty into it
>AJ is such a natural with games, but at the same time, it's like she's unaware of what she's actually doing
>You like talking with her friends but there's nothing you can think of that's worth talking about with these girls
>You look around for, well, anything
>...
>The game's cover and title looks all but identical to that new movie where Mane-iac launches a full-on war against the Power Ponies
"Oh, it's one of "those" games"
>Rainbow cranes her neck upward, giving you a "where the hell did that come from?" kind of look before looking forward again
>"Whadaya mean?"
"This seems like the kind of game that was commissioned to hype up a movie and earn some money on the side. Don't get me wrong, it's well-made and the premise is cool, but game designers can never fully translate the ideas of a comic writer or movie producer; The same with the other way around"
>"Uhh, could you be more specific?"
>Girls are hard to talk to
>Pinkie and Spike have joined in on listening to your little spiel
>You'll bet most of the girls disagree with your opinion a healthy amount
>Keep the tangent going
"Movies-into-games and games-into-movies make me wish Hollywood never existed"
>"You're really opinionated about this aren't you?"
>'I have my reasons. Though, I'm still talking out of my ass a shit ton'
>"Now both of you are buttin' heads over nothin'. Ah know you're not familiar with my friends and what's goin' on all that much Anon. But I have to wonder: What did Marvel ever do to you?"
>It wasn't Marvel that was the problem, it was how you were stringed along to the theaters with your family whenever some superhero movie came out
"I've never followed anything from the Marvel series. I liked watching Spider-Man with my brother on Saturday mornings. The movies are pretty good too, but they're just movies. I only went because my mom insisted"
>Everyone has your full attention now. This must be like pay-per-view for them
>Before anyone has time to say anything you try to pull off your truest impression of Mom
"Oh my god, we heff to see theh movie vith Robert Downey Jr and the person... Ah I forgot his name but he played Thor!"
>You sounded pretty good impersonating your Mom, that is to say a shrill-but-wholesome-voiced woman in her mid-forties
>Mouths shut
>But the dams burst
>It's rare for you to laugh this hard
>Nice that people are having fun because of you... At your own expense
CONT