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All excuses from developerexcuses.com

qgustavor Apr 15th, 2014 44 Never
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  1. Actually, that's a feature
  2. Did you check for a virus on your system?
  3. Don't worry, that value is only wrong half of the time
  4. Even though it doesn't work, how does it feel?
  5. Everything looks fine my end
  6. How is that possible?
  7. I broke that deliberately to do some testing
  8. I can have a look but there's a lot of if statements in that code!
  9. I can't make that a priority right now
  10. I can't test everything
  11. I couldn't find any examples of how that can be done anywhere else in the project
  12. I couldn't find any examples of how that can be done anywhere online
  13. I couldn't find any library that can even do that
  14. I did a quick fix last time but it broke when we rebooted
  15. I didn't anticipate that I would make any errors
  16. I didn't create that part of the program
  17. I didn't receive a ticket for it
  18. I forgot to commit the code that fixes that
  19. I had to do the project backwards as people demanded results out of order
  20. I have never seen that before in my life
  21. I have too many other high priority things to do right now
  22. I haven't been able to reproduce that
  23. I haven't had any experience with that before
  24. I haven't had the chance to run that code yet
  25. I haven't touched that code in weeks
  26. I heard there was a solar flare today
  27. I must have been stress testing our production server
  28. I must not have understood what you were asking for
  29. I thought he knew the context of what I was talking about
  30. I thought I finished that
  31. I thought I fixed that
  32. I thought you signed off on that?
  33. I told you yesterday it would be done by the end of today
  34. I usually get a notification when that happens
  35. I was just fixing that
  36. I was told to stop working on that when something important came up
  37. I'll have to fix that at a later date
  38. I'm not familiar with it so I didn't fix it in case I made it worse
  39. I'm not getting any error codes
  40. I'm not sure as I've never had a look at how that works before
  41. I'm still working on that as we speak
  42. I'm surprised it works as well as it does
  43. I'm surprised that was working at all
  44. In the interest of efficiency I only check my email for that on a Friday
  45. It can't be broken, it passes all unit tests
  46. It must be a firewall issue
  47. It must be a hardware problem
  48. It must be because of a leap second
  49. It must be because of a leap year
  50. It probably won't happen again
  51. It was working in my head
  52. It worked yesterday
  53. It works for me
  54. It works, but it's not been tested
  55. It would have taken twice as long to build it properly
  56. It would take too long to rewrite the code from scratch
  57. It's a browser compatibility issue
  58. It's a character encoding issue
  59. It's a known bug with the programming language
  60. It's a known bug with the server software
  61. It's a remote vendor issue
  62. It's a third party application issue
  63. It's always been like that
  64. It's an unexpected emergent behaviour of several last minute abstractions
  65. It's just some unlucky coincidence
  66. It's never done that before
  67. It's never shown unexpected behaviour like this before
  68. It's not a code problem - our users need more training
  69. Management insisted we wouldn't need to waste our time writing unit tests
  70. Maybe somebody forgot to pay our hosting company
  71. My time was split in a way that meant I couldn't do either project properly
  72. No one told me so I was forced to assume which way to do that
  73. Nobody asked me how long it would actually take
  74. Nobody has ever complained about it
  75. Oh, that was just a temporary fix
  76. Oh, that was only supposed to be a placeholder
  77. Oh, you said you DIDN'T want that to happen?
  78. Our code quality is no worse than anyone else in the industry
  79. Our hardware is too slow to cope with demand
  80. Our internet connection must not be working
  81. Our redundant systems must have failed as well
  82. Somebody must have changed my code
  83. That behaviour is in the original specification
  84. That code seemed so simple I didn't think it needed testing
  85. That code was written by the last guy
  86. That error means it was successful
  87. That feature was slated for phase two
  88. That feature would be outside of the scope
  89. That important email must have been marked as spam
  90. That isn't covered by my job description
  91. That process requires human oversight that nobody was providing
  92. That was literally a one in a million error
  93. That wasn't in the original specification
  94. That worked perfectly when I developed it
  95. That wouldn't be economically feasible
  96. That's already fixed it just hasn't taken effect yet
  97. That's interesting, how did you manage to make it do that?
  98. That's not a bug it's a configuration issue
  99. That's the fault of the graphic designer
  100. The accounting department must have cancelled that subscription
  101. The client must have been hacked
  102. The client wanted it changed at the last minute
  103. The code is compiling
  104. The download must have been corrupted
  105. The existing design makes it difficult to do the right thing
  106. The marketing department made us put that there
  107. The original specification contained conflicting requirements
  108. The person responsible doesn't work here anymore
  109. The problem seems to be with our legacy software
  110. The program has never collected that information
  111. The project manager said no one would want that feature
  112. The project manager told me to do it that way
  113. The request must have dropped some packets
  114. The specifications were ambiguous
  115. The third party API is not responding
  116. The third party documentation doesn't exist
  117. The third party documentation is wrong
  118. The unit test doesn't cover that eventuality
  119. The user must not know how to use it
  120. The WYSIWYG must have produced an invalid output
  121. There must be something strange in your data
  122. There was too little data to bother with the extra functionality at the time
  123. There were too many developers working on that same thing
  124. There's currently a problem with our hosting company
  125. THIS can't be the source of THAT
  126. This code was not supposed to go in to production yet
  127. This is a previously known bug you told me not to work on yet
  128. We didn't have enough time to peer review the final changes
  129. We outsourced that months ago
  130. We should have updated our software years ago
  131. We spent three months debugging it because we only had one month to build it
  132. Well at least we know not to try that again
  133. Well done, you found my easter egg!
  134. Well, at least it displays a very pretty error
  135. Well, that's a first
  136. What did I tell you about using parts of the system you don't understand?
  137. What did you type in wrong to get it to crash?
  138. Where were you when the program blew up?
  139. Why do you want to do it that way?
  140. You can't use that version on your system
  141. You must be missing some of the dependencies
  142. You must have done something wrong
  143. You must have the wrong version
  144. You're doing it wrong
  145. Your browser must be caching the old content
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