Do Not Use These Or You Are Bad At Writing

Never use these in writing. Otherwise, you are a bad writer.
>ellipses
>switching tense
>second person voice
>declarative sentences on the first line
>Overused cliches, e.g., "Once upon a time," "Lo," "Hearken," "Long ago"
>adverbs
>passive voice
>semi-colons
>long lists
>any poetry forced into meter or rhyme without meaning, such as doggerel
>any Shakespeare lines as a title
>multiple clauses
>plotless story
>slice of life
>political agitprop or ideology disguised as a story
>philosophical themes
>stories only made as metaphors for something
>contrived speech, especially slang or constructed languages that aren't real
>too many swear words
>longwinded and/or overwrought narratives
>ten dollar words
>too much exposition
>too much description
>too many different dialogue tags since characters should be distinct and be easy to discern
>long speeches with indented dialogue from the same character
>frame narratives
>flashbacks
>prologues
>named chapters
>epilogues
>too many visuals
>bad pastiche
>overdone settings
>"worldbuilding" rather than writing
>infodumps in or outside of dialogue
>multiple points of view
>omniscient narrator that head hops
>overused filler words that don't add much, e.g., "really" and "very"
>genre specific tropes that aren't rethought in any way
>long sentences
>sentence fragments
>epigrams
>chapter summaries
>too large of an indent
>too small of an indent, or none at all
>spaces between paragraphs
>hashes
>asterisk
>en dashes
>parentheses
>dramatis personae outside of plays and dramatic poems
>free verse without an understanding of stress and rhythm
>"et cetera," "and so on and so forth"
>any Latin whatsoever, especially legal or philosophical terms
>any gratuitous fan service like unnecessary violence and sex
>em dashes
>hyphenated words that aren't real, e.g., "the-not-so-dark-yet-brownish-tea"
>neologisms
>any psychoanalytic terms
>blending of genres for no reason
>nouns as adjectives
>words that are longer but waste time: "however," "although," "albeit," "howsoever," "contrariwise"
>nonsense poems
>stream of consciousness
>paratext
>intertext
>writing intended to belong to made up literary movements that weren't ever real: "maximalism," "high modernism," "oulipo"
>too many commas
>syndeton
>too many similes
>too many metaphors
>rhyming in prose
>too many idioms
>stories based on puns
>humour without necessary build up nor timing
>wacky humour
>onomatopoeia
>characters say the title of the book anywhere in the book
>titular character is a Mary Sue
>unedited writing appearing in a publication
>using beta readers or family to edit for you
>rushed endings
>boring beginnings
>uneventful middles
>lack of denouement
>"muh prose" rather than learning how to tell a story
>focusing too much on sound and syntax, rather than learning how to tell a story
>the main character is the story's antagonist or monster
>anti-heroes
>anti-villains
>hypertext
>namedropping any philosophers, great writers, or great artists
>ostranenie
>polyphony
>more than one language appearing in the work for no reason
>an index
>footnotes in narrative fiction or poetry which didn't appear due to an editor or translator
>preface
>endface
>maps
>word salad
>lack of punctuation
>exclamation marks
>question marks when someone is confused rather than asking a question
>thoughts in italics
>more than one font or font size
>colons
>epigraphs
>cribbed lines
>asides
>monologues
>soliloquy
>reimagining Defoe, Ovid, or Melville but for some sort of feminist, queer, or postcolonial reading
>serialisation
>long chapters
>tiny chapters
>creative nonfiction
>any writing influenced by visual media or TTRPGs
>extended or shared universes
>sub-genres that are fads
>refrains or motifs for no reason, "he spat," "they rode on," "and but so," "so it goes"
>thinking postmodernism can make you write about comics in a novel
>song lyrics anywhere
>ballads
>deus ex machina
>any erotica or romance for older women
>trochees outside of the last foot of a line of dactylic hexameter
>contractions outside of dialogue
>uppercase letters outside of the start of a sentence for things that are not acronyms
>uppercase letters for emphasis
>not capitalising the beginning of a sentence as in contemporary poetry or prose
>using the word "like" when the comparison is not distinct, e.g., "the face was pale like whiteness"
>beginning any scene with wind blowing
>using full stops before a dialogue tag
>inconsistent use of speech marks, e.g., either ' or "
>paraphrasing something for no reason
>citing something for no reason
>any rags to riches story
>repetition
>polysyllabic words used for no reason
>awkward grammar or syntax
>too many sentences beginning with the same name or pronoun
>lines of poetry beginning with "The," "So," "Of," "Or," "And," "As" because you do not know how to start a new line