The Living Account

July 23rd 1995 - My name is Milo Asher. I am seven years old. The docter wants me to write in this book. He gave it to me today. He is a nice man. It has a lock and key so only I can read and write in it. He want’s me to write about the big man. This will be my diary and it will help me with writing. Miss Robinson says practice makes perfect. I love to write.

July 25rd 1995 - Today is a nice day. Second grade is starting soon. I miss my friends. I like seeing my friends at school. Math is my favorite class. I also like recess time.

July 27th 1995 - Today is a cold day. I ate a peanut butter jelly sandwich. My mommy made it for me. Mommy makes the best sandwiches.

August 2nd 1995 - I saw the big man today! I think so. He was standing outside of the school. He plays hide and seek all the time. Sometimes I can’t find him. I know he is there because always is. The doctor did not tell me who the man is. Mommy says that it is my imagination but it is real. He is real.

August 7th 1995 - I started school today! School was fun. I got a gold star in english class and met some boys and girls. Jeremy is a nice friend that I made. He is also 7 and likes cars too.

August 10th 1995 - I told Jeremy about the man. Jeremy told the other students at lunch and they made fun of me. I am not friends with Jeremy anymore.

August 19th 1995 - No one wants to be my friend. They think I am weird. The sychologist is mean. I think i am the only one who can see the man. I think i am broken inside.
August 21st 1995 - I made a new friend today. He is named Kevin. He is an african american and knows a lot of jokes. I like him more than jeremy. He didn’t tease me or anything like the others. He told me he is teased too but I will not tell him about the man because he might make fun of me.

August 25st 1995 - Kevin sits next to me in lunch every day. Pizza day is the best. He does not have many friends just like me. I think it is because he reads comics. I hurt my knee at recess. I wish everyday was pizza day.

September 4th 1995 - No school today because it is Laber Day. Miss Robinson gave us three pages of homework. I am so mad! I do not like homework. I called Kevin and he said that I can sleep over this weekend. I am so excited!

September 8th 1995 - I’m at Kevin’s house! Mommy didn’t want me to go, but I lied and said that we have to work together on a project. We played Spyro and drew pictures. Kevin is my best friend.

September 9th 1995 - My birthday is in a week. I am going to turn eight years old. I want a party but mommy does not have enough money so we cant afford one. I watched TV with kevin all day and now my head hurts.

September 16th 1995 - Today is my eighth birthday! I am eight years old. Cousin Noah came to visit from Florida. He is a nice guy. His mommy bought me a kitten. I am glad mommy let me keep him. I named him Oscar and he is orange. He is my first pet and I love him a lot. Noah and Kevin and Eric slept over at my house. I love my birthday because mommy will let people stay over. I wish i knew daddy more.

September 19th 1995 - The big man was at school again. He was behind the gate at recess time. I pointed but Kevin did not see him. I cried a little but Kevin didn’t make fun of me. Kevin is a good friend. I want to show him Oscar this weekend. I had a strange dream about Grandpa. He was sitting at a table and angry.

September 22th 1995 - I hate mommy. I brought Kevin home on the bus and she got mad. She does not like me bringing kids home without telling, but she never lets me have anyone over ever. She called his mommy and he left. I am grounded for the weekend. What did I do. What did i do. I am so mad at mommy. I have Oscar.

September 29th 1995 - I got in trouble. Jeremy called me names at recess and I kick him. I had to talk to the mr principal. He is a scary bald man. He remind me of the big man. I am grounded again. He called me idiot and stupid but I get in trouble because I hurt himb but he hurt me more. It isnt fair i want jeremy to die. I got sent home and didn’t get to have pizza. I hate everyone.

October 4th 1995 - I had a bad dream about the big man again. I have dreams of him a lot. The house was empty and I was alone with a flashlight. I hided from hom him but he found me and I screamed. I woke up and he was in my closet and I screamed. Mommy came in and tuned on the light and no one was there. The man wants to take me and the other children on a vacation. I do not like him and I don’t want to go with him. I can’t sleep.

October 6th 1995 - I am bored today. Mommy doesn’t play with me a lot. She talks on the phone and watches TV and leaves for book club on fridays and I can’t come. I know that daddy died when I was a baby but I really want a daddy to live with. Maybe he would play with me. Oscar sleeps all day and wont play. Mommy wants me to take pills. I dont like pills because they make me sick.

October 13th 1995 - I hate everything. The kids beat me up today. The big man was behind the jungle gym and I ran to the slide and the kids pushed me down. My leg is sprained. Michael and Jeremy got referrals. Mommy says the man is in my imagination. My imagination scares me.

October 20th 1995 - Im sick with flu. Mommy makes me take more disgusting medecine and pills. The doctor says I have a virus. Oscar doesn’t care that I am sick, he sleeps with me anyway. I had a nightmare too. I was in my bed and couldn’t move. The door opened and a man came over to my bed and told me to get a journal. He was made of black. He scares me like the big man does. They are friends.

October 22th 1995 - I cant do anything because i have a high fever. I am sore and cough a lot. I drew pictures and watched TV all day. I wish I had a brother or daddy to play with. Being alone is boring. I wish Noah lived closer too. He was fun to play with.

October 22th 1995 - (Mr. Scars writing “You will kick, and you will scream, and tell yourself, it is only a dream. But your eyes are open, the pinch you can feel, for you are not asleep, the dream is real.”)

October 30th 1995 - Back to school today. Didn’t see Kevin. Maybe he’s sick too. I dont like eating lunch alone. We learned about dinosaurs today. They are millions of years old. I wish I had a time machine so I could go back in time and see them.

November 3rd 1995 - I’m going to Noah’s house in Florida for his birthday on the 11th! I am so excited! Mommy said that we are going in a week. I am so happy and I cant wait to see him. I dont have many friends in alabama. I had a strange dream again. I was in this dark house and I saw the dark man. He told me to follow him and he showed me this door and told me to open it. I woke up before I could open it. I wet the bed.

November 11th 1995 - I’m in Florida now for Noah’s birthday. He is four years old. Noah is a lot of fun. I saw the man again but i didnt look and kept playing. We played a bunch of games and swam in his big pool. I wish Noah lived closer. He is young but we are friends.

November 12th 1995 - I saw the man before I left Noah’s house. He stands outside of a window. He had branches again this time. He looked like a black tree. Maybe he is a guardian angel like in the stories. I don’t think so. Angels have faces.

November 15th 1995 - I saw him for the second time today... why does he not move? I was at school having lunch and I went to the bathroom and he was there. He was closer now, so I ran to him. I don’t remember but I woke up on the floor outside my house with scratches. I was really scared. I went inside and there was the police. They said I was gone for a day. It is now november 16th. I am in the car going to the hospital now. Mommy is calm.

November 17th 1995 - Doctors said I am ok I think. I stayed the night, mommy had to leave because of book club. A man came to visit me at night. I pretended to be asleep. He said he loved me and kissed my head. I think it was the docter but i dont know if it was a dream. Heading back home but I have to take more pills now. I hate the pills, they make me dizzy and sick. Mommy doesn’t like me talking about the big man, she gets sad. I want to go to New York for christmas because I want to see snow and grandpa and grandma. Mommy said we might. I’m not as sad today.

November 20th 1995 - Kids at school made fun of me again because they said I ran away but I didn’t. Kevin is still a good friend. At least I have Kevin. He asked what happened and I told him the truth. He is the only person who listens to me about the big man. He thinks it is a ghost but I think its a monster. I don’t know if he is a good monster or a bad monster.

December 6th 1995 - I thought I lost my journal but I kept it under my bed and forgot. The pills make me forget more. I wish I could talk to docter coranthal who gave me the journal about the big man. I asked mommy but she said that she doesnt know his phone number. I am scared of the big man because he does not do anything.

December 16th 1995 - Finally! It is christmas break! No more school or homework or bullies. I got an award for the best grades in the class. The bullies called me nerd and geek but I felt ok because I am smarter than them. Mommy said we are going to New York for a family reunion. I do not know anybody except grandpa and grandma.

December 21st 1995 - I am on a plane now. It was scary for a little while but now its cool to see the ground from way up high because everyone looks like ants. My ears hurt and it is shaky. mommy gets nervous when we fly. I’m sad because I could not bring Oscar but he is ok. We are going to get pizza when we land, I love pizza.

December 25th 1995 - Merry Christmas! The family reunion happened today. I met a lot of cousins and other relatives. I have a cousin named Bill and a neece named Elizabeth, but they are boring. We had good food and had a party. Grandpa was sitting by himself. I said hello, but he didn’t hear me. He looked at me and said something funny sounding. He looked angry and grabbed my arm. Mommy took me away and said not to talk to grandpa. I don’t understand.

December 26th 1995 - I went to sleep and woke up at Grandpas house. It was dark and scary. I walked around and found a door. It was from my dream. I opened it and found a box. I wanted to open it but I dont know why. I got it open and the light went on and grandpa was there with a gun. He yelled at me and I ran. I ran down the stairs and got out the door. Mommy was there with the police. Why did grandpa kidnapped me.

???? - mommy took me to her book club. There was no books though. It was a campfire. There was a bunch of people in big black hoods and they had masks that were wite. We listened to a man talk about the lord like at church and then we drank something. I fell asleep and woke up and my tummy hurt and my arm had a bandage on it and it was really sore. they made me say weird things and pleag allegance like to flag at school. I was wearing a robe now and the man came over to me and said “you are one of us now” and then we went home. I think they drank my blood. is this what a book club is? I dont like it at all.

???? - I asked mommy why we go to two churches. She says it’s to get closer to daddy, closer to god. I asked if it was the same god like at church. She didnt say anything. She says that im real sick and theyre trying to help me, but if i tell anyone about them i wont get healed. im good at keeping secrets. Ill be healed.

???? - We learned how to draw family trees today in school, here is my family tree

?? 97 - We are going on a boat trip with mommy and noah and noahs parents and grandpa and grandma and uncle alex and aunt jo. Im excited, ive never been on a boat before.