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  1. /*Script to TTT Machinima - Jo The Shmo
  4. Treats the gamemode as if it's an event on TV, with sportscasters providing "humorous" commentary.
  5. As if it was being played on Alter's TTT server, but will be filmed on my server (steamcommunity.com/groups/jossexyserver).
  8. In-game actors:
  9. Orkin, Circe, Grant, Captain, PHILL, Jawn, Sven, Balls, Penis, Uber
  11. Characters:
  13. Announcers (JAWN?)- I want at least one who talks like Leonard/Milo, but I don't know how I fell about 2 people like that. Maybe someone more like Jossi for the second one.
  14. Admins (GRIGGS, JAWN) - will be voiced by as many real server admins as I can get to provide me with a voice clip of them saying "WAS THAT RDM?"
  15. Traitor #1 (POSSIBLY GRANT, UBER) - Anyone, really
  16. Traitor #2 (POSSIBLY ORKIN, SVEN) - I was going for someone who kinda fucks around like Jin does
  17. Traitor #3 - Someone like Verg who just owns everyone with a HUGE
  18. Player #1 (POSSIBLY UBER) - New/unknown player (You can use a different name)
  19. Player #2 - Also someone like Jin...
  20. Player #3 - A girl. Sorry anyone who wanted to be detective besides Alters or Vekk... ALSO THIS MIGHT NOT BE A GIRL IF LADYVEKK OR THE OTHER 1.5 GIRLS I KNOW ON THE INTERNET DONT WANT TO
  21. Player #4 (POSSIBLY BALLS) - Either an unknown player, or someone who wants to be a douche in the video
  22. Player #5 - Algonquin? Please?
  23. Player #6 - Doesn't really matter yet (Stays quiet), but might actually get a line later on
  24. Player #7 (POSSIBLY CIRCE) - Someone who camps? Kinda like Player #4
  27. [Takes place on dm_island17 with a server of 16/16 players]
  31. Announcer #1: HELLO and welcome to [WHATEVERTHEFUCK IM CALLING THIS]! I am your lovely host [ANNOUNCER #1], joined by the slightly less-lovely [ANNOUNCER #2].
  32. Announcer #2: Hey there! Today we have a WONDERFUL game of TTT lined up for you, and it takes place on none other than DM_ISLAND17!
  33. Announcer #1: We have a full server with 16 players on it, with plenty of admins on, so get ready for a good one, folks!
  34. Announcer #2: I would just like to point out that this game is sponsored by Altered Gaming, home of the best TTT server in Gmod! This is also sponsored by Jo's Sexy Server, the SEXIEST server in Gmod!
  35. Announcer #1: And the round has begun!
  36. Announcer #2: There are 3 traitors this round, [TRAITOR #1], [TRAITOR #2], and [TRAITOR #3]. What a dream-team!
  37. Announcer #1: Like a wet dream, Bill?
  38. Announcer #2: Umm......no.         OH! It looks like the detective none other than the lovely [GIRL PLAYER #3]!
  39. Announcer #1: Not only will she attract a large amount of players for simply being a detective, but she will be utterly outsourced by salivating, testosterone-induced teenagers!
  40. Announcer #2: Either way, she will attract bullets like I attract the ladies.
  41. Announcer #1: Err... Well I'll admit you attract the flies... Alright, let's see what these traitors are up to!
  42. Announcer #2: Looks like [TRAITOR #1] is already buying his first item: a knife. I wonder what he has planned for--
  44. [Traitor one is shot with a shotgun by Player #1 standing near him who then IDs his body as a traitor]
  46. Both Announcers: Ha Ha Ha Ha-WHAT THE FUCK
  47. Announcer #1: Was that RDM?
  48. Announcer #2: Yeah, looks like it- Oh! And here comes the admin team to deal with this little scumbag.
  49. Announcer #1: Looks like [TRAITOR #1]'s pretty mad... I wonder what those admins have in store for [PLAYER #1].
  51. [Admins (Combine police) keep questioning him; "WAS THAT RDM?" "WHY DID YOU SHOOT HIM" "RDM?!"]
  53. Player #1: Well he was a traitor, wasn't he?
  55. [Admins ban him as his ragdoll goes flying into the sky]
  57. Announcer #1: Ohhh, that's gotta hurt!
  58. Announcer #2: It's down to 2 traitors and 12 players already! What a match!
  59. Announcer #1: Let's see what [TRAITOR #2] is up to...
  61. [Watching Traitor #2 plant a C4 way offshore in a place where it will likely score no kills]
  63. Announcer #2: Looks like he's planting a C4... In the water! What a terrible move!
  64. Announcer #1: Eh, I don't know, maybe he has some tricks up his sleeve.
  65. Announcer #2: Or maybe he just isn't the brightest traitor in the... What do you call a group of terrorists?
  66. Announcer #1: I'm as clueless as [TRAITOR #2]. Well he's left the C4 with 45 second on it and-- What's this?!
  67. Announcer #2: Looks like [PLAYER #2] is taking a stroll on the beach... DIRECTLY TOWARD THE C4!
  68. Announcer #1: Who takes strolls on the beach? This guy is almost as depressing as the view counts on the fake Youtube porn videos...
  69. Announcer #2: I'll disregard that.
  71. [Player #2 walks crounching and crowbarring the ground up to the C4 underwater, slowly looks up. Cut to shot of his ragdoll flying up into the air]
  73. Announcer #1: I can't believe he scored a kill off of that thing! Well that leaves 11 innocents left.
  74. Announcer #2: Let's check on [TRAITOR #3] up in the tower.
  75. Announcer #1: Looks like he bought a knife, and with that HUGE, you know he's DYING to go on a rampage down the tower stairs.
  76. Announcer #2: And just in time! A group of players following detective [Player #3], is just arriving up the stairs!
  78. [Traitor #3 throws his knife at the detective and starts shooting his way down the tower]
  80. Announcer #1: And there goes the knife! He's off like a bullet!
  81. Announcer #2: Now you see, the trick here is to rack up as many kills as possible before anyone has a chance to fight back.
  82. Announcer #1: And it looks like [TRAITOR #3] is doing a good job at it, too! Ohh, but he missed an innocent behind him. This round is over for him--
  83. Announcer #2: Wait a minute, is that... Simon?!
  85. [Simon is walking behind Traitor #3 doing nothing about him killing 4 innoncents, but instead just asking questions on his mic]
  87. Announcer #1: Why yes, yes it is! And he's just standing there!
  88. Announcer #2: I don't think he even has a clue as to what's going on!
  89. Announcer #1: Wait! He's steadying his gun... He knows what he's doing...
  90. Announcer #2: This could be the end of the line for [TRAITOR #3].
  92. [Simon shoots and kills the traitor, to be killed by a group of 3 innocents a few seconds later]
  94. Announcer #1: And he's done it! He's killed the traitor! The game is at a close 1 traitor to 7 innocents now.
  95. Announcer #2: Looks like the crowd will trust him from now on-- Wait a minute, are they going to kill him?
  96. Announcer #1: Why yes! Make that 6 innocents! That group of 3 innocents must have used Simon's kill as an excuse to shut him up! What has this game come to?....
  97. Announcer #2: I don't know.... chess?
  98. Announcer #1: Well [TRAITOR #2] seems to know, look at him now on the beach with a rifle!
  99. Announcer #2: Looks like it's checkmate for that poor AFK bastard, [PLAYER #3]
  101. [Traitor #2 snipes him in one shot]
  103. Announcer #1: Ohh, he dropped like like a player in a reserved slot!
  104. (Announcer #2: What?)
  105. Announcer #1: Well there are only 5 innocents left.
  106. Announcer #2: I think that's about to change... check out the tower!
  108. [2 innocents standing on railing, Player #4 with a crowbar about to push them]
  110. Announcer #1: What a douche move by [PLAYER #4]!
  112. [Pushes Player #5 and Player #6]
  114. Player #5: OH WHAT THE FU-- (In an Algonquin-esque manner)
  115. Announcer #2: Does he even know the karma system exists?
  116. Announcer #1: I doubt he even knows the RULES exist.
  117. Announcer #2: Well that leaves it at 1 to 3. If this traitor has any clue, he should be thankful for being this close to winning.
  118. Annoucner #1: After that C4 stunt he pulled, I wouldn't count on it.
  119. Announcer #2: I don't think there's going to be much action for a while though, looks like we've got ourselves a camper!
  121. [Player #7 is camping in one of the houses, and warning people not to come close]
  123. Announcer #1: And look, [PLAYER #4] is coming dangerously close to his hideout!
  124. Player #7: Hey get out of here!
  125. Player #4: No I don't wanna leave--
  126. Player #7: I'm warning you, shooting in 5, 4, 3--
  128. [Player #7 shoots Player #4 early and starts to leave]
  130. Announcer #1: There are only 2 innocents left!
  131. Announcer #2: At this point, I'm just glad [PLAYER #4] died, what with all that RDM he did earlier...
  133. [Player #7 approaches a health pack that he will have to drop a few feet to get to]
  135. Announcer #1: Looks like he's going for that health pack. At just 69--
  136. Announcer #2: Heehee!
  137. Announcer #1 --health, I would go for some health too--
  139. [Player #7 drops to get the health, but somehow dies of fall damage]
  141. Announcer #2: WHAT IN THE WORLD?
  142. Announcer #1: And [PLAYER #7] has somehow died of fall damage! This is worse than a Tom Jones song!
  143. Announcer #2: At just one versus one, this game has somehow managed to turn out hopeful for the traitors! [TRAITOR #2] even has a credit left!
  145. [Traitor #2 starts to approach Player #8]
  147. Announcer #1: He already has a knife, and since [PLAYER #8] is the last guy left, it's in his favor to buy some armor.
  149. [Traitor #2 buys a disguiser]
  151. Announcer #2: I did NOT see that coming! A disguiser is the worst possible move right now.
  152. Announcer #1: Maybe he has his reasons...
  153. Announcer #2: I doubt it.
  155. [The 2 players meet together, and nothing happens]
  157. Announcer #1: What the hell are they doing?
  158. Announcer #2: I think the traitor is trying to seduce him.
  159. Player #8: Heeeeyyy... Am I the last one left? I am, aren't I...
  160. Announcer #2: The tension is building!
  161. Announcer #1: That's what she said--(interrupted by loudness of traitor #2)
  162. Traitor #2: RAAAAAAAA!
  164. [Traitor #2 takes out his knife, and throws it. By the time Player #8 reacts, the knife is airborn, but he manages to headshot Traitor #2 right as he dies]
  166. Announcer #1: AND THAT'S IT! THE GAME IS OVER!
  167. Announcer #2: Who won?! I don't even know who won!
  168. Announcer #1: This is the first ever recorded tie in the history of Terrorist Town!
  169. Announcer #2: How did that even happen?!
  170. Announcer #2: A turn on for any man, wouldn't you agree?
  171. Announcer #1: Excuse me...?
  172. */
  174. *Credits start to roll*
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