Tomodachi Game Chapter 8 PR - LFlare REVIEW

Tomodachi Game 8
PR: LFlare

[005]
Because she... Stole the most important thing from me.
[...] stole the most important thing from me.

[008]
Hey hey, Shibe, is it true that you "killed someone in the past?"
[...] you've "killed someone in the past"?

That's obviously a "lie."
That's obviously a "lie".

That's...Probably true. There is a weird perception of reality that came out when we learned about his father...
That's... probably true. [...]

This is him we're talking about... Maybe he has some sort of "scheme" up his sleeve?
[...] his sleeves?

What could it be...Think.
What could it be... think...
[m]"Think." is a complete imperative sentence on its own.

[009]
If I can't figure it out...then does it mean he has a brain that is better than mine...!?
If I can't figure it out... Does it mean that he has a brain that is better than mine...!?

But wait...There's a big problem that comes with this "scheme"...
But wait... There's a big problem that comes with this "scheme"...

[m]you missed "gakekuchi"

[010]
Manabu-sensi! That kageguchi is a lie!!/Hurry and give whoever wrote that "divine punishment"!!
Manabu-sensei! [...]

Oh... Really?
Oh... really?

Right...That's the obvious reaction.
Right... that's the obvious reaction.

[011]
Pr...Prove it... I myself am saying I didn't do it.
Pr...prove it... [...] saying that I didn't do it.
[m]could use a !

Ye...Yeah I didn't do it! Please believe me, God!!
Ye... yeah I didn't do it! [...]

[012]
But well...It's really hard to "disprove a lie" to begin with...
But well... It's really [...]

[Yutori-chan must prove it is a lie.]
[Yutori-chan must prove that it's a lie.]

[013]
...It's okay Shibe.  There's no way you can kill someone./I believe in you.
...It's okay Shibe. There's no way you could have killed someone./I believe in you.

But it's really unfortunate..because with that kageguchi, I now know something.
But it's really unfortunate... because with that kageguchi, I now know something.

There is a "traitor" who is purposefully trying to break apart our relationships.
There is a "traitor" who is purposely trying to break apart our relationships. [From context alone, I don't think it's 'purposely']
[m] yea it is, he's doing it deliberately

[014]
And I...now know who that person is.
And I... now know who that person is.

[015]
D...Didn't you put that one in!?
D...didn't you put that one in!?

...This guy...Maybe.
...This guy... Maybe... [Pondering?]

I see...Putting in a kageguchi which is extremely malevolent...
I see... Putting in a kageguchi which is extremely malevolent...

Was so he can appeal that there is a "traitor."
was so that he can appeal that there is a "traitor".

And he's planning on making all the evil-doings that one traitor's fault and bring everyone back together...
And he's planning on making all the evil-doings that one "traitor's" fault and bring everyone back together...

[016]
But...Wait! We're talking about Yuuichi. He's different from that Shibe (idiot).
But... wait! We're talking about Yuuichi. He's different from that Shibe (idiot).

I need to think about this carefully...Did I make some sort of mistake? I feel like he's catching on...
I need to think about this carefully... did I make some sort of mistake? I feel like he's catching on...

Hey...So just who is this "traitor"?
Hey... So just who is this "traitor"?

What should I do...At this rate...They'll find out?
What should I do... At this rate... They'll find out?

[017]
...Oh okay...So it really was just a bluff...?
...Oh, okay... So it really was just a bluff...?

Th...That's gotta be it, I never made a mistake.
Th...that's gotta be it, I have not made a mistake.

[018]
This game is not "fair."
This game is not "fair".
[m]periods and commas always go within quotations

...hmph.
...Hmph.

[019]
If you compare this "Kageguchi Sugoroku" game to the first game, it feels significantly unfairer./That's because of the rule that "no matter how much we believe in our friends, we get screwed."
If you compare this "Kageguchi Sugoroku" game to the first game, it feels significantly much more unfair./That's because of the rule that states that "no matter how much we believe in our friends, we get screwed".
[m]"significantly much more" is redundant. Choose one or other

At first, we believed in each other and tried to stay in the same space...However, after just two turns, we incurred a debt of 3M yen.
At first, we believed in each other and tried to stay in the same space... However, after just two turns, we incurred a debt of 3M yen.
[m]"3 million" is much more readable. Keep #M/#k for graphs, that's it.

Even if we win this game, we would only get 2M yen; this is too "unfair."
Even if we win this game, we would only get 2M yen; this is too "unfair".
[m]periods in quotations and see above

Of course, the game masters are the ones who we owe money...A little unfairness can be forgiven./However, the problem is that extremely unfair games...
Of course, the game masters are the ones who we owe money to... A little unfairness can be forgiven./However, the problem is the extremely unfair games...
[m]"that" is the correct term here, see next line.

[020]
You can never tell how the game ends, and that's what makes it fun.
You can never tell how the game ends and that's what makes it fun.

There is an audience...And to entertain them,
There is an audience... and to entertain them,

[m][021] missed "augoroku"

[022]
And the latter half of the game has a lot of pluses as if to taunt the group that progressed separately.
And the latter half of the game has a lot of pluses as if to taunt the group that had progressed separately.

But...So what? We said that in the beginning.
But... so what? We said that in the beginning.

[023]
That's right...Even if everyone submits blanks and we all go forward one step at a time, we won't increase our debt.
That's right... even if everyone submits blanks and we all go forward one step at a time, we wouldn't increase our debt.

[025]
Yup, and now everyone knows right away that I'm the "traitor."
Yup, and now everyone knows right away that I'm the "traitor".
[m]period, quotation

And so, if we proceed with the game under this promise it's almost as if we are submitting votes with names on them.
And so, if we proceed with the game under this promise, it's almost as if we are submitting votes with names on them.

[026]
I see...So that's why there's no need to name the traitor.
I see... So that's why there's no need to name the traitor.

A chance...Huh.
A chance... huh.

Yeah that's right...It is by no means a perfect solution...
Yeah that's right... It is by no means a perfect solution...

The chances of us all entering the goal might not be high./Even if there really are more plus spaces in the latter half...There's no guarantee we break even.
The chances of us all entering the goal might not be high./Even if there are really more plus spaces in the latter half... there's no guarantees we will break even.
[m]guarantees is incorrect

But you know...At the very least-
But you know... at the very least-

[027]
I know we all have our differences, but can't we work together one more time?/From here on, the chances of our debt increasing is lower.
I know we all have our differences, but can't we work together one more time?/From here on out, the chances of our debt increasing is lower.

Also, all of this was because of the one "traitor."
Also, all of this was because of the one "traitor".
[m] as above (won't point them out anymore)

[028]
Tenji...Why? Even though everyone else is for it...
Tenji... why? Even though everyone else is for it...

that this plan is inconvenient for you?
that this plan inconveniences you?

[029]
Yuuichi...Do you really know who the traitor is?
Yuuichi... Do you really know who the traitor is?

O...Of course./Why so suddenly...?
O...of course./Why so suddenly...?

It's easy for me to say who...But are you sure?/If I said it, then our relationship would never be the same.
It's easy for me to say who... but are you sure?/If I said it, then our relationship would never be the same.

[030]
And then we should concentrate our kageguchi to that "traitor" and put him in first place and finish the game.
[...] put him in the first place and finish the game.

B...But if we did that, then even though they're the traitor...that would be can too pitiful...
B...but if we did that, then even though they're the traitor... that would be too pitiful... [I cannot understand the context here, what's with the 'can'? Misspelled?]

[031]
I've been pissed this whole time. I'm at the point where I think it's stupid to trust anyone./And that also includes you, Yuuichi!
[...] to trust anyone/and that also includes you, Yuuichi!

We're now in the latter half of the sugoroku game.  If we spend a precious round and your plan doesn't pan out...
We're now in the latter half of the sugoroku game. If we waste a precious round and your plan doesn't work out...

...Y...Yeah.
...Y...yeah.

Then I will never listen to you, am I clear!?
Then I will never listen to you again, am I clear!?

[032]
Yeah...I don't mind.
Yeah... I don't mind.

I think that's the best!
I think that's for the best!

Hmph...Yuuichi won't back down either...
Hmph... Yuuichi won't back down either...

Oh well...As long as I overcome this obstacle, it's my complete victory. I accept your challenge, Yuuichi.
Oh well... As long as I overcome this obstacle, [...]

Alright...Let's try this.
Alright... Let's try this.

[036]
I'm honestly a little disappointed...in Yuuichi-kun.
I'm honestly a little disappointed... in Yuuichi-kun.

[037]
...I noticed that...there was a loophole in your plan.
...I noticed that... there was a loophole in your plan.

...No...I didn't expect it to be like this...
...No... I didn't expect it to be like this...

What's up with that face...It's almost the same as Shibe. Did I overestimate you?
What's up with that face... It's almost the same as with Shibe, did I overestimate you?
[m] "with" makes it more awkward.

[038]
S...Sorry.../That was a bluff...I don't even know if there really is a traitor among us...
S...sorry.../That was a bluff... I don't even know if there really is a traitor among us...

[039]
B...But Yuuichi was thinking of us and did all that.
B...but Yuuichi was thinking of us and did all that.

S...Sorr. (the last letter is missing on purpose)
S...Sorr- (the last letter is missing on purpose) [Might not be appropriate to end on a period]

Our friendship has already been destroyed.
Our friendship has already been destroyed,

And you have to accept it and move on, or you'll always be the victim./It's okay, I'll protect you no matter what.
and you have to accept it and move on, else you'll always be the victim./It's okay, I'll protect you, no matter what.

[044]
Now what's left...is to prepare.
Now what's left... is to prepare.

Senpai...Isn't C-group kind of no good now?
Senpai... Isn't C-Group kind of no good now?

[045]
No one looked each other in the eye.
No one looked at each other in the eyes.
[m] look [them] in the eye is an actual phrase.

[046]
Plus, there's only one more spaces till the goal.
Plus, there's only one more space till the goal.

[047]
I'm sorry Shiho-chan...I wasn't able to protect you.
I'm sorry Shiho-chan... I wasn't able to protect you.

This would have never happened...
This would never have happened...

Yea right...This is perfect...This is the ideal situation I had hoped for!
Yeah right... This is perfect... This is the most ideal situation I had hoped for!

Now, Shiho-chan, let me hear...Your true words when you're backed into a corner!!
Now, Shiho-chan, let me hear... Your true words when you're backed into a corner!!!

Plus, Shiho will be in the goal if she moves just one space...Even if they're all blank, she will move at least one space...
[...] she just moves one more space... [...]

[048]
Yes, it's over...It should be over...
Yes, it's over... it should be over...

What? Just what is this feeling comes from this image...
What? Just what is this feeling coming from this image...

This errie feeling...
This eerie feeling...

[049]
Eh?...Yes.
Eh? ...Yes.

You're...kidding...
You're... kidding...
.
Haha...I almost overlooked it.
Haha... I almost overlooked it.

This game is still...not over.
This game is still... not over yet.

[050]
D...Do you mean there's still a way to flip this situation on its tail?
D...do you mean [...]

There are three things which are obviously weird.
There were three things which were obviously out of place.
[m] they still are out of place.

[m]comments: still rough on the unnecessary changes. Some strange wordings in the TL that should have been corrected (the situation took shape of, for one) and places that needed commas didn't have them (But well ... Yeah that's right). I'll memo you a link to the final PR when it's out so you can compare.