XERSPIRE BOSS RUSH: ATTEMPT #001.

Hand of Maybe:
  **XERSPIRE ACCESSED EXTERNALLY. BEGINNING ACTIVATION SEQUENCE.**
  **IDENTIFICATION:** MARASARI.

JOE:
  wuzis

Hand of Maybe:
  **CLEARANCE: GELUM.**
  **WOULD YOU LIKE TO PROCEED WITH SEQUENCE #08964, "BOSS RUSH"?**

BIG. STRONG. TREMENDOUS.:
  > YES.

Hand of Maybe:
  **STASIS CHAMBER DEINITIALIZED. GLOOM MARK STABILIZED. PLEASE MAKE YOUR DEATH ENJOYABLE.**
  [...]
  [...]
  [...]

TwinBuilder:
  hold me i'm scared

Hand of Maybe:
  [You take in a deep breath as the glass viewport descends into the floor, and you are forced to the ground. You appear to be in a small square chamber with one light on the ceiling. The entire thing is made of white metal.]

BIG. STRONG. TREMENDOUS.:
  > Examine chamber.

Hand of Maybe:
  [For that matter, the entire room is.]
  [The place is empty. There is a rectangular door on the wall across from you.]

Hezetor:
  >Examine character. (yourself)

JOE:
  > sit in place and do nothing. as such, my/your death will not be enjoyable, since if you/I fully ignore attacks, it would be as enjoyable as watching a statue be killed. except less, somehow, probably.

Bomber57:
  don't hug me i'm scared

BIG. STRONG. TREMENDOUS.:
  > Don't do what JOE says.

Hand of Maybe:
  [You appear to be a pale entity with no mouth, and odd eyes. One deep red, the other a navy blue. A symbol akin to crosshairs is burned into your chest. There is nothing else about you that is remarkable in any manner whatsoever.]

Hezetor:
  >Without touching the door, try to see if you can spot someone else from the other side. Try to hear if there is anyone out there.

Hand of Maybe:
  [There is nothing but the Self, the room, and the door.]

BIG. STRONG. TREMENDOUS.:
  > Examine inventory, if we have one.

Hand of Maybe:
  [Your inventory is empty.]

BIG. STRONG. TREMENDOUS.:
  Let's see, red, blue, we're probably an entity similar to that of ROS and KOM.

Hezetor:
  (A symbol akin to crosshairs is burned into your chest)
(this is the famous symbol of great luck I've read a lot about, right? asd)

TrickleQuest:
  > Are you nude?
  > Or do you lack genitalia?

Hand of Maybe:
  [The latter.]
  [But your mind's in the gutter.]

BIG. STRONG. TREMENDOUS.:
  Symbol akin to crosshairs, hm, not a Logogram, don't think there's anything in the Curse Repository, but let me check anyway.
  > Enter.

Hezetor:
  >Open door, then retreat immediately.

BIG. STRONG. TREMENDOUS.:
  Let's not retreat.

TrickleQuest:
  > Oh, room has been checked. Enter.

JOE:
  >be more boring.

Hand of Maybe:
  [You open the door. There appears to be a much larger cubical room beyond, with grassy terrain, and the occasional large rock.]

BIG. STRONG. TREMENDOUS.:
  My experiences with Erelye suggest that any form of mercy will get us killed.
  If we survive this, we'll be rewarded past comphrension.

TrickleQuest:
  > Edgy.
  :apsm:

Hezetor:
  I tought we were supposed to be careful while acting.

BIG. STRONG. TREMENDOUS.:
  If we succeed, we'll ascend.
  > Examine new room.

Hand of Maybe:
  [**THIS IS A BOSS RUSH. KILL SHIT, REACH THE LAST LEVEL, AND DIE.**]
  [You already did.]

BIG. STRONG. TREMENDOUS.:
  > Enter further, and walk slowly forward.

Hezetor:
  (Entering DOOM mindset)
(rip and tear protocol activated. asd)

Hand of Maybe:
  [You enter, and notice that there are several beings standing upon tall piles of boulders about you. Merely three, to be exact. Three of many more that are not here, you suspect.]
  **ROUND ONE: THE SCHOLAR-KNIGHTS OF THE LORD-ARCHMAGE. FIGHT AND DIE GLORIOUSLY.**

Hezetor:
  (em, do we have any powers I wasn't aware of?)

Hand of Maybe:
  [Do you?]

BIG. STRONG. TREMENDOUS.:
  > Yes.

Hand of Maybe:
  [Tell me.]

Hezetor:
  (I'm Hezetor, of course I do)
  (but this is not Hezetor.)

BIG. STRONG. TREMENDOUS.:
  > Attempt to materialise a sword composite of pure energy.

Hand of Maybe:
  [You do so.]

BIG. STRONG. TREMENDOUS.:
  Wew, and we're live!
  Now, DTG scholars.
  Insane motherfuckers.

Hand of Maybe:
  [You are immediately shot in the face three times by the third Scholar-Knight.]

Hezetor:
  >restart level.
  or wait, are we alive?

JOE:
  >load save point

Hand of Maybe:
  [You're alive.]

BIG. STRONG. TREMENDOUS.:
  > Roll backwards, and attempt to materialise a barrier of warped air.

Hezetor:
  oh good.

Hand of Maybe:
  [Barely.]

Hezetor:
  >rocket boost to cover.

JOE:
  >load save point already

BIG. STRONG. TREMENDOUS.:
  no

Hezetor:
  >while doing so, fire with your newly materialized plasma gun to the closest enemy.

BIG. STRONG. TREMENDOUS.:
  save scumming is for weaklings and wesnoth players

Hand of Maybe:
  [Who do you target?]
  [Noted.]

BIG. STRONG. TREMENDOUS.:
  Scumming, not reloading, of course.

JOE:
  >load save state anyway.
>and dodge the shot this time
>perfect run no injurys
  >or at least not in the tutorial fight
  >jeeze.

Hezetor:
  (>when you abuse of space time to save some elves with nice names)

BIG. STRONG. TREMENDOUS.:
  I don't think there's a tutorial, only death

Hand of Maybe:
  [You rocket boost into the air somehow, and then fire at the closest Scholar-Knight with a materialized plasma gun, KONMAI. They draw a greatsword engraved with incomprehensible and scrabbling symbols, and deflect the shots.]

BIG. STRONG. TREMENDOUS.:
  > Continue to rocketboost within the air, and charge up your materialised plasma gun, before releasing a ray of raw and unadulterated plasma onto the earth below, scorching it, and leaving a residue that can hopefully prevent the enemy from accessing the ground.

JOE:
  [if they survive/this is k:]
> manifest and use the black trigger, borboros.
>solidify blades of hard, blackish material within them, while liquefying your own body, making it invulnerable to most attacks. create a compressed trion shell around the trion relay and control center.

Hand of Maybe:
  [You coat the grassy room below you in a sea of plasma-death. KONMAI leaps up to a wall, and stabs into it with his sword, securing himself. REVENAR, the one with the plasma guns, just sort of drops a metal orb on the ground. It emits a couple sparks, and the plasma-sea destabilizes around him. The third knight raises a gauntleted hand into the air, not even bothering to avoid the plasma licking at his body. He crushes the hand into a fist, and you feel an arcane force grasping itself around your neck. Gasping for air, you plummet back down, directly into your own plasma sea.]

JOE:
  >fly.

BIG. STRONG. TREMENDOUS.:
  > As this happens, the plasma sea warps into a sea of anti arcane force.

JOE:
  > probably do only one of the above?

Hand of Maybe:
  [You are spared from a neck-breaking. You are instead nailed in the back by a throwing knife.]

JOE:
  >pull out the knife. heal yourself.

Hand of Maybe:
  [You pull the knife out. How do you heal?]

BIG. STRONG. TREMENDOUS.:
  > Pull out the knife and throw it into KONMAI's sword.
  > Then reveal your natural regeneration skills.

JOE:
  >with healing potions from wynncraft. they work on every enemy type in the game
>or consumers suggestion

Hezetor:
  question: why be polite?
>spawn a sea of plasma inside your enemies, then dematerialize it when it is about to touch you.

JOE:
  (>this inculdes eldrich gods, robots, keystone machinery, goop, undead, etc)

Hand of Maybe:
  [The Gloom Mark in your chest hums and warms. You begin to regenerate. You throw the knife at Konmai's sword. It just sort of bounces off, and embeds itself into the wall. Wow.]

BIG. STRONG. TREMENDOUS.:
  Gloom Mark, huh.
  Confirms what I googled.

Hand of Maybe:
  [**SO IT GOES.**]

BIG. STRONG. TREMENDOUS.:
  Anyway, swords.
  Bullshit.
  OP.

JOE:
  >make your enemys gloomy so they don't pay attention

BIG. STRONG. TREMENDOUS.:
  We don't like them.

Hezetor:
  (why the plasma attack didn't work? What is the limit of power there?)

BIG. STRONG. TREMENDOUS.:
  > Turn the wall into a wave of dripping black goop.
  > If possible, reveal your Sword of Psi, and immediate go en guarde.

Hand of Maybe:
  [One thing at a time, please.]

BIG. STRONG. TREMENDOUS.:
  > Turn the wall into a wave of dripping black goop.

Hand of Maybe:
  [You spawn the seas of plasma within the knights. They take some visible damage before the stuff just sort of destabilizes. *Then*, you turn the wall into a wave of dripping black goo. Casually, Konmai removes his sword from the wall, and swings down upon you, impaling you through the chest, and nailing you to the floor.]

JOE:
  >create several rifts in spacetime, and fire your gun into each in quick succession, causing the energy bullet things to come at Mr Swordman from four directions.
>then pull out sword and heal self
  >also one of these directions is in their blind spot

BIG. STRONG. TREMENDOUS.:
  > Have your Gloom Mark act as anathema to the arcane energy of the great sword, eroding and harming it.

Hezetor:
  >become water like, move away from the sword.
>return more solid, rocket jump dodging attack.
>do something else.

BIG. STRONG. TREMENDOUS.:
  Okay, we should probably decide.
  I vote Hezetor.

Emerald:
  ^

JOE:
  i vote me as far as attacking them
the sword avoid/heal/whatever i'm k with either

BIG. STRONG. TREMENDOUS.:
  You know what we should probably try at some point?
> Examine HP bars.

Hand of Maybe:
  [You attempt to become water-like to flow away from the blade. The markings upon the sword burn with a black light. Agony races throughout your very being, the Gloom Mark splintering upon you. You reform physically within the blade.]
  [You think it might be fused to your flesh now.]

JOE:
  well thats not a good

Hand of Maybe:
  MARASARI: Pretty much dead now.

Konmai, Scholar-Knight: 7,998,000/8,000,000 HP.
Revenar, Scholar-Knight: 7,998,000/8,000,000 HP.
Vathri, Scholar-Knight: 7,998,000/8,000,000 HP.

Hezetor:
  >accept the sword into your flesh.
>meld it into your new right arm.
>stand up, rocketboost away.
  was the plasma attack the only one to damage them?

Hand of Maybe:
  [Thus far, yes. In any case, sure thing, kids. You accept the sword into your flesh. You accept its power into you.]
  [It promptly reduces you to sub-conceptual sludge.]

JOE:
  >maybe make yourself some kind of protection
>to lower cost, make it only work on enemys with knight in theiiiiiiii- oh shoot
  >load save state

Hand of Maybe:
  **YOU ARE DEAD.**

BIG. STRONG. TREMENDOUS.:
  https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/297203120721625088/338406470901039114/REINA_is_FISH__FISH_can_DIE_INSIDE.jpg

Hand of Maybe:
  Which is actually *wonderful* timing, because I have to go now. Whew.

BIG. STRONG. TREMENDOUS.:
  Whew.

Hand of Maybe:
  Good game, amusing death, everyone. You lasted approximately twenty minutes.

BIG. STRONG. TREMENDOUS.:
  Fucking amazing.
  Do we get a retry, or is that save scumming™?

Hand of Maybe:
  We'll see.

Hezetor:
  fantastic.
  let's never accept any swords into our being, again.

Hand of Maybe:
  I agree.

BIG. STRONG. TREMENDOUS.:
  I concur.

Bomber57:
  Swords are bad, mmkay?

ath uesht:
  oh whopps i missed this
  ripp

Moniker:
  Maybe I will be here when this starts again

JOE:
  this time...

ath uesht:
  wheeee