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[FLUTTERRAPE] Necromancer Anon

Jun 22nd, 2013
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  1. >Day Morbid in Equestria
  2. >You are Anon
  3. >Madman
  4. >Wake up
  5. >Shit, shower, shave
  6. >Stroll over to the window and throw back the curtains
  7. >A small town can be seen from it
  8. >Ponyville, to be exact
  9. >You hated going there, since you preferred your little cosy cottage
  10. >Being a hermit was awesome
  11. >Especially since the peace and quiet gave you ample time to work on your creations
  12. >What creations, I hear you ask, dear reader?
  13. >You walk into your kitchen and over to the large wooden door in the corner
  14. >Several giant metal locks keep it nice and shut
  15. >Wouldn't want the unfathomable horror that lies within to escape and wreak havoc upon the unsuspecting masses
  16. >...Yet
  17. >Grab a small burlap sack full of food off the table next to the door
  18. >Gulp
  19. >And undo all the locks
  20. >The door creaks open
  21. >The stench of death instantly fills your nostrils
  22. >You're used to it though
  23. >Walk down the steps and turn on the lights
  24. >A hideous creature of insurmountable revulsion stumbles into the light
  25. >It inspires fear into your heart
  26. >Truly, you are a monster for creating such a vile and sinful creati-
  27. >"Oh, hi, Anon. Is it morning already?"
  28. >...
  29. >You wish she would act more like a monster sometimes
  30. "Mornin', Grubs."
  31.  
  32. 1/?
  33.  
  34. >Grubs stretches
  35. >Her front leg's stitches come undone and it falls to the floor
  36. >You both stare at it
  37. >"Uhh, you can fix that, right?"
  38. >Huff and stroll past her
  39. "Of course I can, you foolish minion!"
  40. >"That was uncalled for, Anonymous."
  41. "...Sorry. But I'd like it if you at least TRIED to act like a brainless drone"
  42. >Grubs sniffs, a worm pokes it's head out of her grey/green cheek before ducking back inside
  43. >She takes no notice of it
  44. >"Well I might act brainless if I wasn't completely aware of my surroundings. Which reminds me, can I go outside now?"
  45. "NO! You aren't ready."
  46. >"For what?"
  47. "I'm going to turn you into a brutal killing machine, then unleash you on Ponyville and watch in glee as you butcher the innocents!"
  48. >"Why?"
  49. "Because when I first got here, they had a party and didn't invite me"
  50. >She blinks a few times
  51. >Her eye falls out
  52. >You pick it up and pop it back in, then watch as it slowly rolls around back into it's original position
  53. >"That's kinda foalish, Anon"
  54. "S-shut up."
  55. >"For an insane hermit necrolord, you're a bit... Beta"
  56. "SHUT UP. HAVE SOME BREAKFAST"
  57. >Throw the sack at her
  58. >It's bloodied contents spill to the floor
  59. >The intestines of a freshly killed animal pour onto the ston-
  60. >It's cabbage, alright?
  61. >You were too scared to kill an innocent animal, so you just stole a cabbage from some hick with a farm hat
  62. >She was mad as hell
  63.  
  64. 2/?
  65.  
  66. >Grubs chews on the cabbage in delight
  67. >You walk over to your table and sit down to work on your newest creation
  68. >Something more... Compliant with orders
  69. >Grubs was the first attempt, she's only 3 days old.
  70. >You dug her up from a nearby cemetery and worked your magic on her
  71. >When she came around, she didn't know who she was, but was still capable of coherent thought.
  72. >She finishes her breakfast and trots on over to you, looking over your shoulder while you sit on your tiny wooden stool and scribble some formulas on some paper
  73. >She slowly swallows her last bit of breakfast and nudges you
  74. >"Whatcha workin' on?"
  75. "A new monster. Something that will blindly follow my orders and not answer me back like YOU"
  76. >Prod her with your quill
  77. >She smirks
  78. >"So you want a slave? Wow, I didn't think you were into that kind of stuff"
  79. "Shush. Or I won't reattach your leg."
  80. >"When exactly are you going to do that?"
  81. "When I deem you worthy enough."
  82. >"..."
  83. "I-I don't have any more string..."
  84. >"You going to head into town and steal some again?"
  85. "Yes."
  86. >"When?"
  87. "Right now"
  88. >"Do it then"
  89. "I will!"
  90. >"Go!"
  91. "I AM DOING!"
  92. >You stand up and storm out of the basement
  93. >"AND BRING BACK SOME MORE CABBAGE!"
  94. >Slam the door shut and lock it
  95. >Stupid fucking zombie servant not listening to orders
  96.  
  97. 3/?
  98.  
  99. >Walk through the tall grass towards the town, the sun shining on your neck as you look at your feet while you walk
  100. >Soon. They'll all perish soon.
  101. >...That party looked like so much fun
  102. >You reach the outskirts of town and start sneaking
  103. >Make a break for the large clothes shop, which is luckily out of the way in terms of other buildings
  104. >Dive into a bush and look around
  105. >No one noticed you
  106. >Reminds you of your romantic life
  107. >Ha! Good one, brain!
  108. >Aaaand now you're sad
  109. >With a glum look upon your mug you peek through a window
  110. >Observe the shop owner mill about, stitching this and that while seemingly singing to herself
  111. >Watch her needlework intently
  112. >You need to learn how to do that. Grubs' leg has fallen off 4 times in the short time she's been alive
  113. >The damn thing just won't stay on.
  114. >You're tempted to melt the skin together. Not like she can feel pain
  115. >She might not approve of you attacking her with fire though
  116. >Grubs may be a servant, but she's got a mean slapping hoof
  117. >The shop pony exits the room, leaving a large spool of pink string on the floor
  118. >You were told her name once, when you got here, but you've already forgotten it
  119. >It's been like, a year since you got here
  120. >You've spent most of that time fixing up the hut you found outside town and researching the wonders of necromancy
  121. >But now is not the time for memories. It's the time for theft
  122. >You sprint around the side of the shop to the front and burst through the door
  123. >Grab the string
  124. >Run your ass out of there before the pony can reappear
  125. >"Hello? Is any pony there?"
  126. >Too slow, shop-horse. You're like a phantom
  127. >Chuckle and scurry towards the tall grass as you have done a hundred times before
  128. >Turn and look back at the shop window
  129. >The pony is looking confused
  130. >Another successful heist
  131.  
  132. 4/?
  133.  
  134. >You plod through the grass on the way back to your hut, clutching the thread spool in one hand
  135. >The sounds of birds chirping accompanies you
  136. >You lazily trudge homewards and pay no mind to the pony that steps out in front of you
  137. >Wonder why the world is moving so fast
  138. >Slam down on your front
  139. >It knocks the wind out of you and your thread goes flying
  140. >Rub your head and stand up
  141. >Look at what you tripped over
  142. >A small yellow pegasus is nursing her leg and looking sorry for herself
  143. >She sees you and freezes
  144. >You gulp, not sure what to do
  145. >Not so stealthy after all, genius
  146. >The pony slowly takes a step forwards, a nervous look on her face
  147. >"Umm... H-hello?"
  148. >Your eyes dart around for the thread
  149. >Can't find it
  150. >"I-is this yours?"
  151. >The pony offers up the spool on her hoof, giving a small smile along with it
  152. >Snatch it and nod
  153. "Thankyougoodbye"
  154. >Take off running back to your hut
  155. >Grubs will be thrilled to hear about your conversation with the pony
  156.  
  157. "So I says to her "Fuck you, you filthy pegasus. Why don't you go back to pegasusdale or whatever the shit that place is called". Fucking Pegasi, right?"
  158. >Grubs' face is completely deadpan
  159. >Ironic, given that she's technically dead
  160. >"That never happened, did it, Anon?"
  161. "N-no."
  162. >She sighs and nudges her dismembered limb towards you with her muzzle
  163. >"Could you please reattach my leg?"
  164. "Fine, fine... Don't know why I bother talking to you anyway"
  165. >"Because I'm the only pony you CAN talk to?"
  166. "Shush."
  167.  
  168. 5/?
  169.  
  170. >You sit down on your stool and lay Grubs over your lap
  171. >She goes still and patiently waits for you to stitch her leg back on
  172. >The worm from before makes a reappearance
  173. "You gonna get rid of that worm?"
  174. >"No. I like him"
  175. "He's gross"
  176. >"You're a terrible necrolord, you know that?"
  177. "I'm better than you"
  178. >"That's not... Whatever."
  179. >You finish stitching the leg and turn to your undead minion
  180. "Alright, Grubs. Here's the plan."
  181. >Jab a finger at the papers on your desk
  182. "If we're going to level this pathetic town and reforge it in undeath, we'll need these ingredients"
  183. >She looks over the papers
  184. >"I have no idea what any of these things mean."
  185. >You look at the papers
  186. >It's upside down
  187. >God dammit
  188. >Turn it the right way up
  189. >"Ooooh, that seems easy enough. But uhh, I think this might be a problem."
  190. >She points at your most critical material
  191. >Peer at it
  192. >Scrunch up your nose and look back at her
  193. "And what -exactly- is so hard about getting hold of twenty five cadavers?"
  194. >She gives you an "Are you actually serious" look
  195. "You'll just have to go to the cemetery where I got you!"
  196. >"...What do you mean 'me'?"
  197. "You don't seriously think that I'm going to get my hands filthy digging up bodies, do you?""
  198. >She scowls at you
  199. >Pat her on the head
  200. >Her eye falls out
  201. >Push it back in her skull
  202. "Good girl. Chop chop! Or I'll kill you and reanimate you."
  203. >"You won't do that because you don't know how, you bloody ape"
  204. >Ouch.
  205. >"And what are you going to be doing anyway?"
  206. "Getting the other ingredients of course! I'll have to 'neutralise' several targets in order to get them safely, though."
  207. >"You're going to run into town and steal them again, aren't you?"
  208. "Yes."
  209. >"You're not going to hurt a fly, and are instead going to run around screaming if you get caught, aren't you?"
  210. "Y-yes."
  211. >"Alright then. When are we doin-"
  212. >Knock knock knock
  213.  
  214. 6/?
  215.  
  216. >You stare at your minion
  217. "...Did you just say 'knock knock knock'?"
  218. >"No."
  219. >She turns her head slightly and raises an eyebrow
  220. >"I... I think you might have a visitor"
  221. >Your brain struggles to process this
  222. "What should I do?"
  223. >Knock knock knock
  224. >"Probably answer the door."
  225. "But I've never had a visitor! What should I say?"
  226. >"I don't know! I've never left this damn basement!"
  227. "Oh yeah. C-can you come up with me?"
  228. >"What, so that if things go wrong I can take care of them and tick one cadaver off your list?"
  229. "Well more as a sort of 'security blanket', but sure, that as well"
  230. >She shakes her head and trots towards the stairs
  231. >"The shit I put up with..."
  232. >Push past her, laughing nervously
  233. "Uhh, I think I'll take the lead, thank you very much, minion."
  234. >She rolls her eyes
  235. >Luckily none of them fall out again
  236. >You walk upstairs and towards the door
  237. >Your palms are sweaty
  238. >Knees weak
  239. >Arms are heavy
  240. >Reach it and look back at your minion, who is looking at you from the top of the basement stairs
  241. >She points a hoof at the door and jerks her head to the side
  242. >Gulp
  243. >Open the door
  244. >Look down
  245. >The pegasus is there
  246. >Uh oh
  247.  
  248. 7/?
  249.  
  250. >You both stare at each other for a good while
  251. >A gentle breeze drifts on by
  252. >Shuffle nervously
  253. "Can I help you?"
  254. >"Umm... My name is Fluttershy."
  255. >She takes a step forwards
  256. >"What's yours?"
  257. >Look to the left
  258. >Grubs draws a hoof across her neck then gives you a quizzical look
  259. >Shake your head
  260. >Turn back to Fluttershy
  261. "Anonymous. And I don't want to buy anything. Good bye."
  262. >Slam the door
  263. >Lean against it
  264. >Listen closely
  265. >Hear a defeated sigh and the flap of wings
  266. >Grubs tentatively steps out into the kitchen
  267. >"Is she gone?"
  268. "I think so"
  269. >She looks around
  270. >"So this is where you live... I thought it would have been dirtier"
  271. "I'll have you know that I'm a very clean person!"
  272. >"And since when did a necrolord concern himself with keeping things neat and tidy?"
  273. >She looks towards your expensive dishes that you stole
  274. >They looked nice and no one else seemed to want them
  275. >Grubs snickers
  276. >"Nice plates, oh lord-of-darkness"
  277. "SHUT UP AND GET BACK IN THE BASEMENT, WHELP"
  278. >"Nah, I think I'll stay up here. It's been ages since I saw the sun"
  279. "Fine. Well you can at least help me create my monster while you're up here."
  280. >"Sounds good. Wait, you wanted me to dig up bodies, so I would have come up here anyway. Why are you so concerned about me-"
  281. "STOP POKING HOLES IN MY LOGIC. YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO BE FULLY SELF AWARE WHEN I MADE YOU."
  282. >"Why didn't you just kill me and try again then?"
  283. "imscaredofblud"
  284. >"What?"
  285. "Nothing."
  286.  
  287. 8/?
  288.  
  289. >You both head down into the basement and plan until nightfall
  290. >Grubs' stomach growls
  291. "How do you even get hungry?"
  292. >"It's plant matter or you, milord. Choose which one or else I will"
  293. "Okay! Fine! We'll steal some apples on the way to the graveyard"
  294. >"So you're coming with me then?"
  295. "I need to make sure you don't get the wrong kind of bodies"
  296. >She squints at you
  297. >"That's a terrible excuse. What's the real reason?"
  298. >...
  299. "No reason at all. Don't question my authority."
  300. >She mustn't know that you're also scared of the dark.
  301. >You both fetch some spades and head out of the front door, a full moon hangs overhead, occasionally being shrouded by clouds
  302. >A cold wind chills you to the bone
  303. >Grubs just seems thrilled to be outside
  304. >"I forgot how nice it is out here!"
  305. "Zombies can't appreciate beauty. Stop trying to."
  306. >She sticks her tongue out at you
  307. >It's all rotten and covered in scabs
  308. >Eww
  309. >The darkness is giving you the heeby-jeebies, so you pick up the pace towards the cemetery
  310. >Grubs trots along behind you obediently
  311. >"Isn't this nice? No one's giving each other orders. Just you, me, the moon and a plan."
  312. "Ugh. Be quiet, or I'll give you an order."
  313. >"You just did, then"
  314. >God dammit.
  315. >Reach the graveyard. Tombstones and statues cover the small hill
  316. >Walk up to the peak and survey your surroundings
  317. >Look down at a marked grave
  318. >"Here lies Yellow Belly. Father, Husband, Beloved Coward"
  319. "And now he's gonna be a monster."
  320. >Drive your spade into the soft earth and begin the unholy harvest
  321.  
  322. 9/?
  323.  
  324. >5 hours and a lot of panting later, you and Grubs lie with your backs against a tombstone
  325. >Look at the 25 bodies you managed to uncover
  326. "Well, we did that in record time."
  327. >"There was a record for digging up dead bodies?"
  328. "Shut up"
  329. >Grubs clicks her tongue
  330. >"So how are we gonna get them back to the shack without anyone seeing? It's nearly dawn."
  331. >Look around
  332. >It does look like it's getting lighter
  333. >Peer at your shack, located at the other side of town
  334. >Critical mission error.
  335. >Look around in a sudden panic
  336. >Squint at something lying in the road
  337. >Scramble to your feet and run down to inspect it, Grubs following you with a nonchalant expression
  338. >"I don't think I've ever seen you run that fast bef-"
  339. "SHUT UP."
  340. >You run a hand over the wooden cart lying on it's side
  341. >With some effort, you push it back on it's wheels
  342. >Seems sturdy enough
  343. >Turn to your undead abomination
  344. "Alright, I have a plan. But it -might- be a bit risky"
  345.  
  346. 10/?
  347.  
  348. >"Anon. This is insane."
  349. "Shush! No one has stopped us yet!"
  350. >You walk through Ponyville, pulling the cart behind you
  351. >A large sheet hastily stitched together with pink thread and burial wraps covers the mountain of corpses in your cart
  352. >2 fillies run around in front of you, laughing
  353. >You feel your brow getting sweaty
  354. >Glance at Grubs
  355. >She's wearing something that looks like an Islamic burqa
  356. >Only it's white, covered in dirt and smells like death
  357. >You're half-way through the town, and the sun has just come up
  358. >Ponies are early birds, so there are already a great number of them walking around minding their own business
  359. >Your arms feel like lead from pulling this thing
  360. >But it will all be worth it!
  361. >God help you if you get caught
  362. >"Hello there, Anonymous!"
  363. >Freeze
  364. >Look at the yellow pegasus, hovering next to you
  365. >She smiles sheepishly
  366. >"I don't think I've ever seen you around town before... W-would you like me to show you around?"
  367. "Uhh, no, thank you. I know my way around quite well"
  368. >Hoist the cart's handles to get a better grip and carry on pulling, your feet carrying you faster due to nerves
  369. >Fluttershy doesn't let up, and flies after you
  370. >"Would you like some help? I mean, if you want, that is."
  371. "Quite fine."
  372. >"I l-like your clothes..."
  373. "Thank you."
  374. >"But why are they covered in mud?"
  375. >Look down
  376. >You forgot that you're covered it mud, sweat and grime from your most recent cadaver heist
  377. "Uhhh-"
  378. >"We're mud farmers!"
  379. >Based Grubs.
  380.  
  381. 11/?
  382.  
  383. >Grubs hops down from her perch just behind you
  384. >She walks up to Fluttershy and grabs her hoof, shaking it vigorously
  385. >Fluttershy is clearly shaken
  386. >"Oh-uhm. I-I, I'm Fluttershy..."
  387. >Grubs laughs
  388. >"Pleasure to meet you, Fluttershy! I'm sure you've met Anon before, I'm his... Uhh, wife. Rote Ing."
  389. >Fluttershy cocks her name
  390. >"That's a um... Odd name..."
  391. >Grubs nods solemnly
  392. >"Yes, that it is. My parents were..."
  393. >She trails off
  394. >Then looks at you
  395. "They were... Crack addicts!"
  396. >Both ponies stare at you
  397. >Fluttershy is the first to speak
  398. >"Umm. Crack?"
  399. >Shit. They don't have crack in Equestria
  400. "Oh yes, dangerous and horrible drug from far away. Made you crazy. They were addicting to the stuff and gave their daughter a rubbish name, haha!"
  401. >Grubs catches on, and places a hoof on your leg
  402. >"Yes! That's right! But Anon looked past that and saw me for who I am and so now we are husband and wife!"
  403. >You both give Fluttershy the fakest smiles imaginable
  404. >She's rather unnerved
  405. >"Oh... Umm... Okay. Married? Oh..."
  406. >She gets a glum look and flies away
  407. >Grubs smiles up at you
  408. >Well, you THINK she's smiling. Can't see because of the burqa
  409. >"Nice thinking, Anon. We're on the home stretch. Now get us home."
  410. "Yes, Ma'am"
  411. >Pick up the cart
  412. >Realise what you just said
  413. "I mean, minion. SHUT UP!"
  414. >Grumble as Grubs laughs at you
  415. >Drag the cart all the way to the outskirts of the town, surprisingly, no one else bothered you
  416. >Grubs looks back at the town as you leave it
  417. >"Well I'll be. That wasn't so bad at all!"
  418. >She takes off her headscarf. He rotting face on show to no one but the sun and the birds
  419. >You can almost hear her smiling
  420. >"H-hello again"
  421. >You can almost hear her yelping and cramming her head back inside the cloth
  422. >Chuckle
  423. >Silly Grubs.
  424.  
  425. 11/?
  426.  
  427. >Turn your head as you pull the cart up the path and look at Fluttershy
  428. >"Um. I know you said that you're uhh, married. But do you think it would maybe be possible if you could be so kind as to consider maybe umm..."
  429. >She starts getting flustered and flies off
  430. >Look over at Grubs
  431. >She shrugs and cautiously moves a hoof to pull off her headscarf again
  432. >"Okay, I'll t-try again"
  433. >Grubs lets out a groan
  434. >Fluttershy, once more, hovers alongside you
  435. >"Umm. I've been thinking about you ever since we met that day!"
  436. "Okay."
  437. >"I-it's like fate planted us on the same path!"
  438. "Ya-huh"
  439. >"B-but I know that your wife won't be too pleased. So umm"
  440. >She moves in uncomfortably close, seemingly unphased by the smell of death surrounding you
  441. >...Oh hey, that might explain why no one else came near you. And why people were shutting their doors and windows when you walked on by
  442. >Awesome
  443. >Fluttershy whispers in your ear
  444. >"W-we could keep it a secret. D-does that sound like fun?"
  445. >Remove a hand from a handle and push her away
  446. "Sounds lovely. But I errr."
  447. >Look over at the hideous zombie wearing a burqa, who is also probably laughing silently at you
  448. "I... Love my... Wife?"
  449. >As expected, Grubs snickers
  450. >"I love you too, darling. Maybe we can have some fun tonight"
  451. >OH GOD WHY
  452. >You feel your stomach do a back flip at the thought
  453. >Fluttershy's eyes widen
  454. >"F-fun? Do you mean like..."
  455. >She looks left and right then whispers again
  456. >"Sex?"
  457. >Grubs doesn't even hide her guffaw
  458. >You sigh
  459. "Yes. Sex. With my wife."
  460. >Shudder
  461. >Fluttershy blushes heavily
  462. >"Ohmygoodness. I-I've never talked about sex before!"
  463. >She moves in close
  464. >"Umm. What's it like?"
  465. >Hell if you know. You were hardly a womaniser back home
  466. >Grubs is in hysterics
  467. >"He-... Jusgimmieasec... He's a real monster in bed!"
  468. >Fluttershy 'ooos'
  469. >You feel your rage building
  470.  
  471. 12/?
  472.  
  473. >Grubs continues
  474. >"This one time, he was boning me so hard, I thought I would..."
  475. >She squeaks and tries to compose herself for the incredibly predictable and unfunny punchline
  476. >"I-I thought I would. DIE!"
  477. >She thrashes around on the pile, screaming with laughter
  478. "You know, DARLING. You're quite FUNNY."
  479. >Grubs chokes on her own laughter
  480. >"I-I know I am, dear! That's why I do it! After all, comedy is your fetish!"
  481. >More laughter
  482. >Sigh and look at Fluttershy
  483. >She's giving you a bizarre look
  484. >"It's... Your fetish?"
  485. "Uhhh-"
  486. >"I-is that what turns you on? Comedy?"
  487. "I-"
  488. >"Oh my... Umm. W-will you be at home later today?"
  489. >Grubs descends into more laughter
  490. >"Of course he will! He's a real basement dweller!"
  491. >You spend a few seconds listening to her laugh
  492. >Just then you hear a loud rip
  493. >Grubs goes silent
  494. >Smirk
  495. "You alright back there, honey?"
  496. >"F-fine."
  497. "Good."
  498. >Turn to Fluttershy
  499. "Don't mind my wife. She's 'armless."
  500. >Snicker
  501. >"YOU'RE HILARIOUS, ANON."
  502. >Fluttershy is just staring at you
  503. >"S-so will you like me if I make you laugh?"
  504. "I really don't think-"
  505. >"G-gotta go. See you later!"
  506. >And she's gone
  507. >The shack is drawing nearer, though. So that's lucky
  508. >Open the door and help Grubs down
  509. "I told you to be careful with that thing. You nearly blew our cover!"
  510. >"Sorry..."
  511. >Wow. She sounds genuinely apologetic for once
  512. >She smiles up at you
  513. >"Hehe, blow our -cover-"
  514. >She tugs on her burqa
  515. >"Get it?"
  516. >Shake your head
  517. "Shut up and help me unload these things"
  518. >You can't help but smile though.
  519.  
  520. 13/?
  521.  
  522. >Finish unloading the bodies and storing them in the basement
  523. >Dust your hands off and stare at the pile of bodies now resting in your basement
  524. >Grubs is also looking
  525. >"Shouldn't we like, store them in ice?"
  526. "Ehh, they'll be fine. What's the worst that could happen?"
  527. >"A bad smell?"
  528. "Right! And it's not like anyone ever comes here-"
  529. >Knock knock knock
  530. >...
  531. "Just in case, that wasn't you?"
  532. >"Go answer the door, you big goof."
  533. "Ugh."
  534. >Plod upstairs and throw open the front door
  535. >Fluttershy smiles up at you
  536. >In a clown costume
  537. >"A-ahem"
  538. >She begins dancing around madly, singing a song and honking her big red nose
  539. >Then she strikes a pose and a flower on her chest sprays water at you
  540. >"Ta daa! A-are you laughing?"
  541. >Glare down at her
  542. >You'd think she would have noticed half way through your act
  543. >"Anon? Who is it?"
  544. "Just a clown, Gr- uh, Rotey!"
  545. >"Should we ki- invite her in?"
  546. "That's a horrible id-"
  547. >Fluttershy's face has lighten up
  548. >"Oh my! I'd love to come inside you!"
  549. >What
  550. >"Y-your house, I mean."
  551. >She lets herself in
  552. >Oh shit
  553. >Run ahead of her and into your kitchen
  554. >Just in time to see Grubs lock herself in the basement, giving you a pained look and mouthing "good luck"
  555. >At least she's protecting the corpses
  556. >Fluttershy takes a seat at your kitchen table and smiles at you
  557. >Her nose wrinkles up
  558. >"Oh! There's umm... Quite a smell in here!"
  559. "Uhh yeah. It's the plumbing."
  560.  
  561. 14/?
  562.  
  563. >Neither of you say anything to each other for a few moments
  564. >Fluttershy breaks the silence
  565. >"S-so! Umm, w-what do you do?"
  566. "I'm a mud farmer, remember?"
  567. >"Oh yes! Sorry!"
  568. >She smiles
  569. >Then loses the smile
  570. >"What's a mud farmer?"
  571. "It's like... A... Rock farmer. But with... Mud?"
  572. >God, you're stupid.
  573. >"Oh! My friend Pinkie was a rock farmer!"
  574. >YOU GOT LUCKY, ANON.
  575. "Riiiight! And that's what I do! I farm. Mud."
  576. >Fake smiles all round
  577. >Fluttershy gets off her chair and walks up to you
  578. >"S-so a mud farmer must make a lot of money!"
  579. "Well, I-"
  580. >"So you have a big house!"
  581. >It's a tiny shack.
  582. >"And some spare room for... 'Extra' company?"
  583. >She winks
  584. "Don't you know I have a wife? I thought I made that clear"
  585. >"But she's not here right now!"
  586. "Actually she's in the-"
  587. >NO NO NO
  588. "Sheee's... In town!"
  589. >Fluttershy grins
  590. >"Then we're all alone!"
  591. >She takes a step forwards
  592. >"Out here..."
  593. >Another
  594. >"All."
  595. >And another
  596. >"Alone."
  597. >ROMANTIC COMEDIES DIDN'T PREPARE YOU FOR THIS KIND OF SCENARIO
  598. >Or did they?
  599. >You think back to some romantic comedies you watched in the past
  600. >"What's the deal with airline food?"
  601. >NOW ISN'T THE TIME, SEINFELD. YOU AREN'T EVEN ROMANTIC.
  602. >This kiss is romantic, though. Fluttershy's lips are awfully soft
  603. >...
  604.  
  605. 15/?
  606.  
  607. >Pull back, breaking the kiss
  608. >"Ohh~. Our first kiss! Wasn't that passionate, Anonymous? I KNEw that we were meant to be!"
  609. "Uhhhhh"
  610. >"W-we can start a family! You just ditch that smelly pony and move in with me!"
  611. "Uhhhhhhhh"
  612. >She drops her voice to a whisper
  613. >"We can even have... Sex"
  614. >She squeaks upon saying the word
  615. "M-me. Wife. Hav-"
  616. >"Yes! I WILL wife you, Anon! This day is a dream come true!"
  617. >Your front door opens
  618. >Grubs steps in, her burqa now on again
  619. >"Why hello there, living- Uh, I mean, loving husband! And Fluttershy too! How are you?"
  620. >Fluttershy blushes and steps back
  621. >"O-oh, I was just. Umm. Leaving."
  622. >She winks at you and whispers in your ear
  623. >"We can keep it a secret! Just you and me!"
  624. >She wink again and skedaddles out the front door
  625. >Grubs kicks it shut with a rear leg and tears off her headscarf
  626. >"What the hell, Anon? You're letting random ponies kiss you now?"
  627. "I don't know what happened! I swear!"
  628. >"You're so... BETA!"
  629. "YOU'RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME. YOU'RE JUST A MINION!"
  630. >"I'm more pony than you can handle, mister. You almost disrupted our operations. If I hadn't had come in, who knows what might have happened!"
  631. "Yeah, how DID you get in?"
  632. >"There's a trap door leading from the basement to the surface, behind the shack"
  633. >Oh yeah
  634. >That would have been easier to use for dumping the bodies in
  635. "Look, I don't like how this pony is getting close to discovering our plot. So let's just get it done, okay?"
  636. >Grubs smiles
  637. >"'Our' plot, Anon?"
  638. "My plot! MINE!"
  639. >Storm past her and into the basement
  640. >Grubs calls after you
  641. >"Anon, I'm hungry!"
  642. "THERE'S STUFF IN THE FRIDGE, YOU MONGOLOID."
  643. >...
  644. >"Oh my god there's stuff in the fridge! Why didn't you tell me this before!"
  645. "I JUST TOLD YOU!"
  646. >"Where are the apples?"
  647. "THEY'RE IN THE FUCKING FRIDGE!"
  648. >"You said there would be apples!"
  649. "JUST CHECK THE FRIDGE YOU... YOU... DOUBLE ZOMBIE."
  650.  
  651. 16/?
  652.  
  653. >You really suck at insults sometimes.
  654. >Grubs manages to find some apples and trots down into the basement, look pleased with herself
  655. >"So. Shall we get to work?"
  656. "Well no, we still need the other ingredients"
  657. >"You mean these?"
  658. >She walks over to a small box and brings it back, placing it on your desk
  659. >It's full of small vials and dead plants
  660. "How did you..."
  661. >"When you showed me the list of things we needed, I knew that I'd seem them somewhere"
  662. "But how?"
  663. >"I LIVE down here, you idiot."
  664. "Oh yeah."
  665. >Stare the ingredients
  666. "We can make it, now. The monster, I mean"
  667. >You're quiet for a while
  668. >"You okay, Anon?"
  669. "I dunno. You ever have second thoughts?"
  670. >"Nope. I'm 4 days old. I haven't had to time to have second thoughts yet."
  671. "You're a great therapist"
  672. >"Thanks, 'husband'"
  673. >Shudder
  674. "Don't ever call me that again"
  675. >"Aww, can't handle the thought of loving me?"
  676. "You're hideous"
  677. >"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder"
  678. "That's an excuse ugly people use to make themselves feel less ugly"
  679. >"You're not much of a looker yourself, mister hairless ape."
  680. >You bicker like this for 2 hours.
  681.  
  682. 17/?
  683.  
  684. "Weren't we supposed to be making a monster?"
  685. >"I'll get the plans, you get the bodies"
  686. "Why do I have to get the bodies?"
  687. >"Don't be a foal, Anon."
  688. >Sulk and drag the first body over here
  689. >Raise your bone saw and pink thread
  690. >Grubs returns and places the plans in front of you
  691. "Ready?"
  692. >"Ready."
  693. "Let's make us a monster.
  694.  
  695. >You work all through the day and all through the night
  696. >Hacking through bones, flesh and gristle, you steadily piece together a creature of horrific proportions
  697. >Unlike Grubs, this thing shouldn't be too self aware
  698. >You stitch on the final limb
  699. "Is... Is that it?"
  700. >"That was the last body part we had. I think it's ready."
  701. >You stare at the amalgamation of flesh and bone
  702. >It's basically a pony
  703. >Made of other ponies
  704. >It touches the ceiling, and looks like something out a Tim Burton movie
  705. >Pink thread holds it all together, making it look kinda funny in a way
  706. >But still terrifying
  707. >Grubs prods you
  708. >"We still need to add the mixture"
  709. >Reach for the hollow needle and jam it into where you put the creature's 25 hearts
  710. >Begin pumping the vile liquid into the monster
  711. >Watch it in silence
  712. >Grubs scratches her leg
  713. >You sniff
  714. >"You'd think it would be a bit more, exciting"
  715. "Gotta wait for it to move first"
  716. >"Alright"
  717. >Several minutes pass
  718. >Eventually, the liquid runs dry
  719. >"What now?"
  720. >Flick through your 'Necromancy for Foals' book
  721. "According to this, we need a massive jolt of electricity-
  722. >The creature moves slightly
  723. >Stare at it
  724. >Throw the book over your shoulder
  725. "Welp. Books have been wrong before"
  726. >Clear your throat
  727. "IT'S ALIIIIIIIIIVE!"
  728.  
  729. 18/?
  730.  
  731. >The monster shifts and groans as it comes to life
  732. >You look on with a huge smile on your face
  733. >It picks itself up off the floor and groans again, louder this time
  734. >"MEE... HUNGRY..."
  735. >Grubs laughs
  736. >"Awww. He's like a big baby!"
  737. >Nod
  738. "A big baby with a lot of killing potential!"
  739. >You clap your hands excitedly
  740. >"You look like a filly on hearts warming eve."
  741. "I don't care! This is so exciting!"
  742. >The beast shakes it's head
  743. >"ME HUNGRY. MASTER HELP?"
  744. >It even thinks that you're it's master
  745. >FUCKING. GOLDMINE.
  746. "Ahem, Yes! I AM ANONYMOUS, BEAST! I CREATED YOU FOR ONE PURPOSE."
  747. >The monster cocks it's head
  748. "WE ARE GOING TO DESTROY PONYVILLE!"
  749.  
  750. >The basement door is obliterated
  751. >A creature the size of the shack you're living in crawls out of it, you and Grubs riding on it's back
  752. >"MUST. CRUSH."
  753. "Ahahahah!"
  754. >Grubs has her hooves wrapped around your waist
  755. >The monster, you have now named "Jonathan" carries you into town like a noble steed
  756. >That has a limited vocabulary
  757. "YES, JONATHAN! ANNIHILATE THE LESSER BEINGS!"
  758. >Jonathan roars and crushes a house, the ponies inside, outside, and all around Ponyville are now screaming
  759. >A siren blares as your creature howls in excitement
  760. >It thinks that everything is a big game.
  761. >"LITTLE PONY GO SMASH SMASH!"
  762.  
  763. 19/?
  764.  
  765. >Bricks and other stones from the more courageous ponies bounce harmlessly off his hide, and only serve to send him into a more frenzied state
  766. >Due to his size, unicorns can't effect him with magic
  767. >Until, that is, a large purple bolt slams into his shoulder
  768. >Bits of bile and flesh splatter all over you and Grubs as a large hole is created in Jonathan
  769. >He roars, his rage enhanced to levels you cannot even imagine
  770. >A small purple Alicorn stands in the middle of the street just below you
  771. >A confident smirk on her face, and her horn at the ready
  772. >"My name is Twilight Sparkle! And I am here to-"
  773. >SPLAT.
  774. >Jonathan's leg pummels her into the dirt
  775. >He stamps on her body over and over again until she's a mass of bloodied meat sponge
  776. >You shrug
  777. >Not like anyone will miss her
  778. >Fucking Alicorns
  779. >He continues his rampage around Ponyville, shrugging off any other punishment and generally being a nuisance
  780. >You think about what you're going to have for dinner tonight while he tears down the town hall in a fit of bloodrage
  781. >His screams piece the smoke filled air
  782. >Grubs taps you on the shoulder
  783. "Yeah?"
  784. >"Guess who."
  785. >Feel another tap
  786. >Fluttershy is hovering next to you
  787. >Rub your eyes and blink
  788. "Uhh."
  789. >"H-hello again! It's me, Fluttershy! In case you forgot... Umm, listen, I know you're a teeny tiny bit busy at the moment, but I was wondering if you wanted to go out on d-date sometime? Maybe in my house? Right now?"
  790. >She blushes
  791. >Look back at Grubs
  792. "Is this pony serious?"
  793. >She shrugs
  794. >"Looks like it."
  795. >Fluttershy patiently awaits an answer, she ducks to narrowly avoid a flying piece of building
  796. >"S-so is that a yes?"
  797. "No. No it's not."
  798. >"Aww... Well that's okay. Maybe tomorrow then?"
  799. >She flies away, oblivious to the carnage around her
  800. >Jonathan cocks his leg over the ruins of the town hall
  801. "Hey, HEY! NO! BAD! DOWN, JONATHAN"
  802. >"ME SORRY, MASTER."
  803. >Grubs tightens her grip around your waist
  804. >"So what are we eating tonight?
  805. "I dunno. Apples?"
  806. >She rests her head on your back
  807. >"Sounds good..."
  808.  
  809. 20/20
  810. The End.
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