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BallsOfFluff

Winky the Racist Fluffy Pony

Jul 1st, 2012
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  1. > be a black man taking a stroll through the ghetto
  2. > on roller skates
  3. > striding down the block so the hoes can catch your swag
  4. > suddenly hear illegible babbling from nearby dumpster
  5. > stop to investigate noise
  6. > small, white colored fluffy pony staggers out from behind trash bags
  7. > fucking feral fluffies
  8. > since the population boom you cant walk five feet without bumping into their furry asses
  9. > you see empty bottles of 40's littered in the alley way
  10. > its fluff is scraggly and matted
  11. > glazed look in its eyes
  12. > this goin' be good
  13. > "fwuffy waneeyuuhspecwalhuggyanfweelmehnutsakuuuuhhh", it mumbles incohernatly
  14. > oh shit, this is one shit faced motherfucker
  15. > wonder if owners are around, if any
  16. "Hey little man, where your family at?"
  17. > "fwuffy no wan hewp, ugwy poopie face"
  18. > the fuck is it talking about?
  19. > "go way meanie poopie face, fwuffy no wike neeguhs"
  20. > wait. . .
  21. >. . . .did he just?
  22. > AW HELL NO
  23. > slowly scoot closer
  24. > "NO UGWY STAY WAY, BIG POOPIE HOOMAN HUWT FWUFFY, NO WAN NEEGUH MUNSTA", it shouts in a slurred manner
  25. > it turns around, ass forward
  26. > begins releasing an unrelenting dual stream of piss and shit
  27. > simultaneously spinning it's tail clockwise like a boat propeller
  28. > flinging slurries of fowl excrement in no decernable direction
  29. > shit and piss coat your pimped out roller blades
  30. > your newly bedazzled denim boy shorts are stained with fecal matter
  31. > "fwuffy teach big stoopid neeguh big owie wesson, poopie face no twy steal fwuffy's twash howse eva' gain"
  32. > aw shit nigga
  33. > you fucked up now
  34. > go home
  35. > call ya boy Shifty
  36. "Ay Shifty, some racist-ass fluffy just shit on my draws"
  37. "Aight den, lets go fuck him up"
  38. > Shifty picks me up on the side walk in his 1993 Toyota Saturn
  39. > ride shotgun
  40. > Shifty's crew from the East-side Crips sit in the back
  41. > pull up to the dumpster and see the punk ass
  42. > inebriated fluffy pony circling aimlessly through scattered trash
  43. > babbling something about Puerto Ricans
  44. > roll down the window
  45. > Shifty and his crew do the same
  46. > pull out my AK
  47. "AY DRAINCLOG"
  48. > fluffy pony snaps out of his haze and stares directly at me
  49. "SOMEONE SHOULDA TAUGHT YO SORRY ASS BOUT' MULTICULTURALISM"
  50. > fluffy pony sees gun barrels pointed in his direction
  51. > diarrhea trickles down its leg
  52. "WE LIVE IN THE AGE OF AQUARIUS BITCH NIGGA"
  53. > start unloading on him
  54. > bullets rip through his torso like swiss cheese
  55. > sheer velocity of rounds pin the mangled mass of blood and fluff to the side of the metal dumpster
  56. > any remaining solid body parts are eviscerated in the hail of gunfire
  57. > clip empty
  58. > blood caked to the sides of the alley way
  59. > fluff scattered in the wind like discarded feathers
  60. > pigeons and crack heads flock the scene and begin devouring strewn internal organs
  61. > spit on mutilated carcass
  62. "Let that be a warning to you"
  63. > neighbors call police
  64. > they show up 45 minutes late
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