convo

ChanceСегодня, в 3:51
i don't really know the context of what that is so it's hard for me to comment
i think what they were saying was that esme posted a poor app, and the admins gave him a pass? then they used you as an example of someone 'disliked' perhaps who wouldn't have gotten the same pass, unsure
sounds like theyre trying to grill other admins tho
which is... dani, they say a lot of shit like that out of context
yea i can't even find that in the server so idk what it is as far as the conversation goes
BoguidanceСегодня, в 4:05
the last time this conversation was had, admittedly on forums, you said that i was given a leeway, that i was given an influence of some sort
i was given neither, and i'd have to work a lot more than even average player - the leeway and influence you speak of were something i'd have to earn with a lot of effort, and really the only reason i put up with it, despite the fact that it was obvious not only to moderators, few admins and a lot of players, was the fact that i genuinely enjoyed spending time & creating story with my friends

i doubt that dani "grills" other admins, or says things out of context here. imo it should be very easy to understand - the feedback/ votes under almost all of my apps (unless i missed one somewhere) are either unanimous or literally same but reworded

tldr: im not sure if you're genuinely unaware, or just pretend to be, but the game's been insufferable for a very long time, and at this point a lot of people had enough
ChanceСегодня, в 4:07
i doubt that dani "grills" other admins, or says things out of context here. imo it should be very easy to understand - the feedback/ votes under almost all of my apps (unless i missed one somewhere) are either unanimous or literally same but reworded

no i'm pretty sure that theyre saying esme posted a poor app, and if you did the same itd be denied. or something like that. id suggest asking for the full quote/context cause as it is right now i genuinely can't take anything from it
i do not think an app of yours has been judged harshly when taking into account your character's power, your ooc attitude, and the content of said app at the time. sorry
i am sure there's bias/bad perception of you as a player, but it isn't unwarranted or unfounded
i think the eye of alabastre is an example of where your attitude/approach to the game falls short a lot, you were given alternatives that wouldn't be a direct power boost but would enrich/add an interesting element to the city and you just... ignored it / dropped everything instead
though i'm not here to dissect you as a player and psychoanalyze things, but if you showed me every denied app it is unlikely that i'd approve them in retrospect regardless. cause it feels like you do the same thing every time and repeat the motions with the same people
rather than writing a personality that has their own flare and appeal, it's all so linear and dull to me
other admins might think otherwise. i'm not very outspoken about that dislike, i just cast my vote, but they don't and the people selected are pretty varied so idk..... there's no weird agenda going on there and i wouldn't take an out of context dani quote as gospel either (who is unfiltered and says a lot of dumb shit anyway)
BoguidanceСегодня, в 4:19
this attitude you speak of easily appears whenever im made to work much more for anything that anybody else can get with visibly less effort. i doubt that you need me to start pointing names, but there are examples to name. its also bizarre to me that its taken in account, considering that a lot of people talk shit/ roast one another and that should be hardly accounted for - i dont recall being toxic, except the latest forum posts, and even then i think i deserve to be frustrated over it and youre essentially saying that players "arent allowed" to be frustrated, lest they get bias against them

whatever judgment is imposed, ooc attitude (unless its literally toxic towards others and not just random shitposting) shouldnt even be taken into account. thats not a "measure of good judgment", thats a tool to be biased and an easy way for your community to quickly accuse your admin team of being biased towards one another

as for eye of alabastre, i wont even touch on that subject. i had to work up on many things leading up to it, and at that point i got burned out and tired from things. i'd rather leave it to my PC kids (which is what cynthia did actually & she did create the eye from what i know) so that they have something to do - i was too done with it all. it might be news for you, but past frustrations tend to well up and at some point people dont wanna bother with it anymore

moving on, judge my characters all you want, say that my writing is shit, but majority of people enjoy it. i even went deliberately incognito on demon early on, and i've only received positive feedback on my writing/ character/ actions both from admin team and playerbase. you're a very heavy minority here, and for some reason im beginning to feel you might just expect "same thing" from me merely because im with fru

heres something - people capkill you easily if your char is a "threat" and you need allies, capable ones. most people do that anyway. weird critique from you
ChanceСегодня, в 4:20
nothing about toxicity/being rude or anything like that. i like you oocly a lot and enjoy speaking to you or watching you interact, moreso the approach to the game/rp. difficult to describe
BoguidanceСегодня, в 4:21
then what is it? you dont make much sense
ChanceСегодня, в 4:21
i described it all above. it doesn't feel like writing a story so much for the sake of illustrating a character as writing a story to acquire power to flex on noobs
and it's very transparent to me
BoguidanceСегодня, в 4:21
lol
ChanceСегодня, в 4:22
youre gonna disagree and that's ok
BoguidanceСегодня, в 4:22
i gotta ask, did you ever watch whatever it is im up to ever since i played zaruma?
no, i get it
when i was zaruma, maybe parts of arthur, i was like that, true
ChanceСегодня, в 4:22
but there are many denied apps that i'd go "yeah maybe that was an oof" and very few of them are yours
BoguidanceСегодня, в 4:22
but a lot of time passed
ChanceСегодня, в 4:22
i watched more after zaruma/after than before
BoguidanceСегодня, в 4:23
i feel like the statement youre making is appliable to spires boguidance, because if i wanted to keep flexing on noobs, the hands of my characters would be soaked in blood through and through
even on latest demon, when i had all the reason to kill everyone on my path, i worked hard to create a story for people and make sure that i adjust to their IC, so i can drive their plot - even at expense of my own
which admittedly did get me frustrated when i worked hard to contribute to plots of others and involve people and i ended up being instantly capkilled on cap 1 to a character i have no history with
but thats another topic
ChanceСегодня, в 4:24
it's the writing, the characters. there's nothing there that makes me go "i enjoyed reading this a lot and think this character should be one of the strongest with 3+ hiddens". can't really say more than that. there's a lot of people who i enjoy reading the writing of because they're simply better or their approach to the game keeps me on edge
f.ex, doohl is someone who hits my buttons because each character of his is distinct and so are his choices in the moment. they have everything id want in a 'lead' character/player (aside from poor pvp skllls), and that's what this comes down to when judging a char in roleplay, it is a lot of bias/personal preferences
not how many logs they have or how many fights theyve been in, but the content/writing in those logs
their rps
their direction
their ooc attitude and mentality
that kind of stuff
so let's say someone like doohl is all As for me, and i would happily give them any role in the game if they asked for it (because i think it would enrich the world/the story, as theyre not selfish and their writing is on that level)
if i'm denying someone for a second hidden, personally, it's probably because their writing is average and so is their character design and mentality, or if otherwise i just don't think theyve reached that point/deserve it yet(which can be due to several factors)
of course
it's an opinion
which is why i think people shouldn't really hidden chase to begin with, which is what the journal is about
you write out your story because you enjoy writing
not to acquire shiny spells
you might not end up the most powerful and that's ok, have fun fleshing out a char
if youre getting your ass beat left and right the admins will surely be more merciful
etc
BoguidanceСегодня, в 4:31
that feels more like very personal preference. im not going to say im perfect, far from it - but if majority seems to enjoy it, majority looks forward to interacting with my character, and they admit that i've been selfless in terms of plot/ character story driving, shouldnt that be the criteria for grading? im sure there are other players who are doing pretty good, f. ex. bruce did a lot on walter (even now, up to barsburg stuff), but it feels like stifling things only cripples this game more than it helps

and for the record, the only reason i even wanted hiddens as of late is to ensure i dont die too early while representing my growth via IC. you can deny it, but im in a category of players that rarely survive caps if they're ever capped
as much as im selfless in my plots, and many can attest to that, i also dont enjoy dying soon after hitting 18 y/o because someone made me roll 1 on cap and because they know im "too dangerous to leave alive"
hiddens help with not letting that happen
ChanceСегодня, в 4:32
it's personal preference yeah, that's kind of what judging writing comes down to
perspective and objectivity while comparing them to your preferences
when you read a book you go
"did i like this"
same for a character
idk, i think you try too hard not to get capped/not to die, really
as a quick comparison to myself, who has all the ooc power in the world, i was doing repeat cap 1s against pericles w/ no hiddens expecting to die if i lost. just cause i enjoyed the thrill/gamble, and cap 3s when he was beating my ass left and right, 0-4, as both a stronger char and better pvper
when we were both going out of our way to kill each other
i feel that that's a part of it too. being detached from a character that you don't mind losing them, which reflects better in the path they take (but it's a minor thing)
anyway this is going off in all kinds of tangents now but i hope the above helps explain my PoV a little better
BoguidanceСегодня, в 4:35
i wouldnt say "too hard" because otherwise i would not put myself in clearly dangerous/ disadvantageous positions that can actually get me killed, whereas it was more of a choice than avoiding it

at the same time, if my character is young/ im fighting someone whos just out to shut me down for sake of "clout kill", yes, i'd rather not let my story end too soon. i dislike dying before i can get to do anything at all, and i dont think thats bad
and yes, it got derailed, but i had my answers
ChanceСегодня, в 4:38
id say i'm in the same category of being killed on cap, unless i'm against someone whos more story oriented/merciful (like when asta capped sythaeryn). people take pleasure in killing my chars / thirst over it oocly, but i don't hold punches despite that. it's a part of the game

i played an incognito character a while back and i had some br demon try to kill me, who had demon stats+20rpp on my char, sending a cap 1 then a cap 6 cause he was mad. i just accepted and ran with it, and beat him by 10% in r3, then killed him
similarly i've had characters die early due to recklessness (faustus, caprise, lysander, etc) but i just consider it a part of things, and by holding back all you do is limit the uhhh... sense of relief if you do win, which is fun
hmmm idk
BoguidanceСегодня, в 4:40
i dont though, my latest demon had to chainverb a lot of people. hell, a lot of my characters had plethora of dangerous chainverbs/ other disadvantageous positions where i could easily die (and would die upon rolling cap)
ChanceСегодня, в 4:40
i'm not saying you are too careful though at all
completely unrelated
BoguidanceСегодня, в 4:40
sometimes i'd even get capped and only live because i was saved
ChanceСегодня, в 4:41
just that it's not a big deal to lose cap matches, even if there is a chance of death, even if you die. it happens
BoguidanceСегодня, в 4:41
it does, doesnt make it any less shitty when you keep working on people's plots only to die a random death for someone's clout but w/e