Kenji, Dark Knight of Yamaku

Kenji stumbles down the hill from Yamaku, a half empty bottle of whiskey loosely grasped in his fumbling hands. He shuffles down the incline towards town, every so often taking a sip from the bottle, much of its contents dribbling down his chin and staining the front of his uniform. He doesn't care; he has lots of uniforms, he can just put a new one on later. His scarf is wrapped around his forehead like a bandana and anyone passing him on the street would take one look at his disheveled, lost continence and immediately discern that this young man was drunk off his ass.

Kenji doesn't give a fuck. He is all out of fucks to give. Today was quite possibly the worst day of his entire life, a tale he recounts as he mumbles and slurs to himself in a black mood. “Stupid school...stupid festival. What the hell are they trying to pull? Make me do work in class...be around...people. People are...stupid. Half of them are woman. Dangerous. Shouldn't even be outside. Exposed.“

He had left the roof about an hour ago after things calmed down and the people at Yamaku had left. It wasn't safe to walk outside, not with a war on. He could get picked off at any moment. He spent the entire day screaming at the people below him, watching them scurry around like ants, ignorant, foolish ants! Despite his invitation, that guy, what was his name, Hansel, Hisao, hadn't shown up.

Fucking Hansel, blowing him off.

What the fuck was a German doing in Japan anyway? Probably a Nazi. Doesn't sound German.
Here he was, offering the dude a chance to hang out on a rooftop and drink some fine, quality whiskey while they wait for the end of the world, and he blows the invitation? How rude!

“Where does he get off?” Kenji rambles. “I wanted to hang out! It would have been cool! But, no! He's probably hanging out with one of his bitches, one of those miserable female acquaintances he's been cultivating! What a jerk! He could have had the time of his life! We would have eaten pretzels and drank and talked shit about girls and got shit faced! No! He's too good for that! Jerk! Fine, I don't need him! I don't need anyone!“

He staggers into town, taking a moment to lean against the wall of a conveniently placed building. He lovingly strokes the bottle of whiskey, it's harmonious sloshing sound a comforting whisper. “You're my best friend, whiskey. You'll never leave me.“

He moves into town. He long ago ran out of food and he started getting hungry. He should have ordered a pizza to bring to the rooftop, but everything happened so quickly, he never got the chance and he can't call one in. He doesn't have a phone. Never trust a phone, you never know who you're talking to on the other end. It could sound like the person you think it is, but it could be a clever ruse meant to squeeze information out of you. It was hard enough to talk face to face and be sure who was in front of him, but a phone? Hell no! One minute he's ordering pizza, the next, he's opening a cardboard box with a bomb and extra pineapple! “Would they deliver to the roof? I'll have to check on that. No reason they shouldn't, I'm a paying customer, damn it! I have a right to have my pizza wherever I want it! A man should be allowed to enjoy a deep dish whenever, wherever he wants! 'Stop eating in front of the television, Kenji, you'll go blind!' Shut up, Mom, stop telling me what to do!“ He pauses. ”Damn, pizza sound good.“

He changes direction. Where was a pizza joint this town? He never goes into town, everything he wants get delivered to the school. Sometimes though he has to hunt it down because the freaking Student Council never delivers his mail on time! When it does arrive, do they say anything? No, they just shove his letters and packages in his face and expect him to take them. Not even a 'Hello, here is your mail'! He pays their salary, damn it!

“Well, maybe not, but my tuition does!” he starts to growl to himself. “I pay good money, I deserve to receive my mail in a punctual and timely fashion! Why is the mail always late? What if I get something important? What if I was waiting for orders, huh? What are they trying to do, keep me isolated from the outside world? I have a right to my own mail! What are they hiding? Are they trying to keep me from contacting people on the outside? That has to be it! Vile bitches! I bet they even read my letters! I better start writing everything in code, just in case. That would show them! Yeah, that's a good idea, I'm glad I thought of it.“ He looks around. ”Where the hell is my pizza?“

He staggers down the road and through an alley, ending up in the middle of the street, staring up at the starry sky. Everything is quite, not like it was this afternoon with people everywhere. It's nice. No place was safe from them. If he got caught they would make him...do things. He was supposed to help man the noddle stall his class put together, but there was no way in hell he was getting dragged into that.

“Isn't it bad enough I had to put the stupid stall sign together? Why do I have to hand food out? Man, its crap! It's not like the school is making a profit off this junk, it's just a stupid festival! I didn't even want to go! I have to do school work all week, why should I use my free time so a bunch of locals can wander around and eat crappy food and play stupid games! They don't even have any good games, just stupid little...goldish catchers and....knocking bottles over for crappy stuffed animals. Mindless diversion! If they had a bowling booth, then we'd be talking. With wicked cool prizes like lava lamps and paint ball guns. Don't they get it? They fill their lives with pointless drivel while the world falls apart around them! They don't know how close to the abyss they stand! At any moment the war could start! They're just sheep! Mindless sheep being led to the slaughter!“

He holds his bottle high and cries out to the Gods, is any would listen.

“Whats the point? Why? It doesn't matter, man, nothing does! They're doomed, all of them! Doomed to a life of loneliness and isolation! Just like me, nothing to look forward to! Nothing to get them out of bed in the morning? No one wants to hang out with a loser! Why? Why do they do it? Why do they play their stupid games and hang out with girls! I don't want that, I'm perfectly happy being by myself.“ He takes a swig from the bottle. ”I'm perfectly happy being by myself....“

His stomach growls. Where the fuck is that pizza he ordered?
Did he order it yet? Screw it, he'll find it eventually.
Damn, Kenji hopes he has money.

He starts to meander down the road when a crash catches his attention. Like a dramatic blurry thing, he rushes back into the alley and hugs the wall, checking rooftops for snipers and keeping an eye on his six, whatever the hell that is supposed to mean. It could be anyone; an assassin, enemy agents, a cat, the pizzas delivery guy with his goddamn ham and green peppers extra with cheese in the crust and extra garlic sauce for dipping with the little flakes of parsley in it.
Damn, he is hungry, where is that pizza?
Peering around a corner, bottle in hand, he looks into the back area behind the building, filled with trash cans and the smell of a restaurant back lot. It has the stench of...sin and grease and other foul things like cheap french perfume and that smell you get on your fingers when you close your fist really, really tight for too long and your palm gets all sweaty.

Two people shaped blurs are standing there, facing each other. What is this? Some sort of secret meeting? A passing of information between spies? Some sort of drop zone for enemy agents? Maybe he's stumbled into the middle of some feminist strategy meeting held in the dank corners of the city away from the prying eyes of the public.

He fumbles a little to get a better look, the bottle clicking against the brick wall, which he shushes harshly. “Shut up, Whiskey, you want to give us away!“
He gets closer to listen to their conversation.

“I, uh, I...I don't...”
“Just open the door and let me into the building, okay? I just want the money in the register.“
“I didn't...I don't have...I mean....”
“Come on, lady, I'm losing patience. Just give me the money and I'll leave.“
“I'm sorry. I'm really sorry, but I can't.”
“Don't be stupid. I'm not interested in hurting you, I just want the cash.“
“But I can't! I...I was taking the trash out and I...locked myself out of the building....“
“...you what?”
“I forgot the keys, I'm sorry, Mr. Burglar! They're inside on the counter.“
The first figure sighs and rubs his forehead. “Do you...I don't know, have a spare key?”
The girl hesitates. “...sort of.”
“...did you lost that too?”
“I forgot it today, I'm sorry!“
“Then just...give me your purse!”
“The key is in my purse....”
The figure groans in annoyance.

Through his dimly aware, alcohol infused mind, Kenji puts two and two together. It's a robbery! Sonofabitch! Some low life bastard, feeding off of a defenseless woman!
Someone should do something!

“Whiskey, what do we do?” Kenji whispers to his nearly empty bottle.

Whether it's being drunk or some hidden reserve of strength, Kenji knows what needs to be done. This is a test, it has to be! Maybe from the Gods or maybe some sort of initiation into some secret society to determine his worthiness, he doesn't know! He doesn't care! Kenji always talks a big game, now he had the chance to back it up! To be a real hero!
Today, one little robbery, the next, fending off a whole army of Feminist sympathizers!
Oh, man, Hansel is going to be pissed he missed this one!

He came looking for pizza but what he found was his destiny!

Kenji looks desperately around for something, anything to use.
He peers at his hand and the bottle of whiskey. “I'm sorry, friend,” he whispers lovingly to the glass.

Taking one last sip of the ambrosia, wrapping his scarf around his head like a ninja, Kenji leaps from behind the building corner. “Hey! You feminist sympathizing, gutter...jerk face!”

Both figures turn towards him in confusion.

Kenji rears the bottle back. “Whiskey Special Attack!”

Hurling the bottle and aiming at the robber's head, Kenji throws with all his might. The glass makes a perfect arc, flying through the air, a stream of golden alcohol flying in a circle from the bottle's lips.

It smashes into the wall five feet away, far from harming anyone.

Sonofabitch! “You let me down, Whiskey! Traitor! You have failed me for the last time!”

The robber is perplexed by the scene in front of him which makes it impossible for him to see the girl pick up a trash can lid and bring it straight down onto the back of his head, dropping him to the ground with one firm strike.

The girl is breathless, panting, clutching the lid tightly in her hands with the robber knocked out on the floor, nearly shaking in fright. Kenji staggers about a little, getting closer to the scene to see what happened and why the guy stopped moving. “Hey. Hey, that was...pretty good. You know you got a really wicked swing. Well, for a girl.“

The restaurant employee tears her eyes off the unconscious man. “Thank...you. I didn't...know if that would work. I didn't hurt him, did I?”
Kenji shrugs. "Probably. Guy was a herj, don't feel bad about it."
She looks up at Kenji, her eyes wide. “You...rescued me....”
Kenji rubs the back of his head. “Nah, nah, it wasn't...it wasn't that big of a deal. I was just...you know, looking for some pizza and, you know, I heard what was going on.“

The girl smiles shyly. Kenji idly wonders if she's cute. “Well...thank you. There aren't many people who would do that for someone they didn't know.“ She looks down at the person in the mask. ”What should we do?“

Kenji shrugs. “I don't know. Call the police, maybe?”
She nods hesitantly. “I guess that would be best. We can use the phone inside the restaurant.“
“I thought you said you were locked out?”
She looks suddenly sheepish. “I... lied. That was a lie. If this place got robbed while I was working, I would lose my job. It wasn't wrong to lie to him, was it?“
Kenji shakes his head. “No, no, actually...actually that's pretty smart. Good thinking, fast on your feet.“

She smiles at the compliment. “Thanks you.“ She nervously pulls at her apron. “Uh,” she starts, “well, we should get inside and call. I hope they get here before he wakes up.“ She looks up at Kenji. ”Would you wait with me? I think I'd feel a lot better.“ She smiles at him, at least Kenji thinks it looks like a smile. ”I can put a pizza in the oven if you want. I get a meal discounted, we can share.“

Kenji thinks that sounds like a good idea. She seems nice and something about her voice is very pleasant. She might be a woman, but she sounds harmless. “Okay. That sounds cool.”
She fishes into the apron pocket for the key to the back door.
“So,” Kenji asks, “what's your name?”

She smiles at him when she unlocks the door. “Yuuko. What's yours?”

Kenji stops at the name and his drunken thoughts turn chaotic. “I have to go.”
Yuuko blinks. “What?”
“I'm sorry. I have to go.”
“But...”
“Lock the door and call the police. They'll be here soon.“
“But I thought....”
“I'm sorry. I can't stay here.”

Kenji turns, making sure his disguise is still in place, hiding his face as he vanishes down the alley way into the shadows.

Yuuko watches him leave, convinced it was something she must have done.
Was that scarf...?

Kenji heads off into the street, not thinking about pizza anymore. He unwraps his face and puts his scarf back on.
It seems a lot colder now.

That's all right.
A hero gets used to the cold.