Deadmeat Chronicles: Preacher Fluffy

>You are a maroon unicorn fluffy with a light green mane.
>And right now you are talking to a strange new fluffy.
>He is a white earth fluffy with a purple mane and gold eyes.
>You, Pookie, Haze, and Bruce are all surrounding him as he talks with you.
>He has a pious look on his face, ”De Biggest Daddeh haf pwan fo aww gud fwuffies!”
>Haze looks at the new fluffy and asks, “Bu’ wha ‘bout bad fwuffy? Biggest Daddeh nuu cawe ‘bout bad fwuffy?”
>The new fluffy sits back and says in a knowing way, “De Biggest Daddeh gif big sowwies to bad fwuffy.”
>Bruce gives a snicker at Haze.
>Pookie looks at the new fluffy, “How bad am sowwies de Biggest Dadeh gif fwuffy? Am big sowwy stick?”
>The fluffy nods, “Am de biggest an’ scawiest sowwy stick, and de wowstest sowwy bawks dat any bad fwuffy am put in.”
>He then sets back and throws up his front hooves to the sky.
>All jump back and lower their heads ready to attack except haze who starts sniffing the new fluffy.
>”But Hewpeh nuu am hewe haf tawkies ‘bout bad fwuffy!”
>”Hewpew hewe gif tawkies ‘bout Biggest Daddeh wub fo fwuffy!”
>You and your herd mates see he isn’t trying to be aggressive so you relax.
>”Gud fwuffy am haf sketties and huggies aww de time!”
>”Dey am speshul saf woom fo aww gud fwuffy wif de Biggest Daddeh!”
>”Saf woom haf de bestest toys for fwuffy pway wif and de bestest sweepie pwace!”
>All of you look at the new fluffy puzzled.
>You look at the new fluffy, “Nuu wike saf woom.”
>Pookie asks, “Whewe am Biggest Daddeh ?  Why Pookeh nuu see Biggest Daddeh befo?”
>Bruce says, “How Biggest daddeh gif aww fwuffies huggies at same time?”
>Haze quickly sniffs Bruce’s rump making your main owchie friend babble angrily at him.
>This strange fluffy named Helper lowers his hooves down and looks at you and your herd mates.
>”De Biggest Daddeh am eferywhere and see aww tings fwuffies am do.”
>”So aww fwuffy nee be gud.”
>He then lowers his head and brings his front hooves together in front of him, “Wet us pway…”
>Bruce, Haze, Pookie and you get excited.
>Bruce says, “Bwoos wub pway!”
>You look around and say, “Otay! Fwuffy pway jump and woll!”
>You and your herdmates start to jump around and roll on the ground.
>You are all giggling and having fun.
>You look at your new friend and see he is still there with his head down and mumbling something into his hooves.
>”…an sketties…an huggies… an sketties… and pway wif Hewpeh… an nuu sowwies… and sketties…”
>You walk up to the fluffy, “Tought fwen wan pway?”
>He still mumbles, “….an sketties… an kee daddeh safies…. an huggies… amen…”
>He lowers his hooves and looks at you with a happy smile on his face, “Hewpeh pwayed.”
>You look at Helper puzzled again.
>You sit back on your haunches and place your front hooves in front of your face.
>Haze sits next to you and mirrors your actions.
>You look at your hooves, “Hewwo! Nyu fwen? Wan pway?”
>Haze sniffs his hooves as the others just stare at you.
>You keep looking at your hooves then back at the strange fluffy, “Did nuu funsies. Why yo tink dis pwaying?”
>He stares back at you, “Nuu, not pway funsies, pway to Biggest Daddeh.”
>You tilt your head with your mouth open confused again.
>You get ready to ask what he means but get cut off.
>”NYU FWEN!”
>Next Special Friend comes running past you and hugs the new fluffy.
>He smiles and wags his tail, “Yay! Yoo am gud fwuffy!”
>He hugs her back, “Gud fwuffies gif gud huggies!”
>”De Biggest Daddeh haf gud pwace fo gud fwuffy!”
>She lets go and looks at the fluffy, “Who am Biggest Daddeh?”
>Helper lowers his head in reverence, “Dat am de gweatest daddeh of dem aww! Wub aww gud fwuffies and gif dem guddies.”
>She lets go and starts to clap, “Yay! Nex Speshul Fwen get guddies!”
>She trots to you and Haze, “Am Biggest Daddeh gif bestest smawty and bestest fwen guddies too?”
>Bruce looks at Haze, “Nuu, onwy gud fwuffies get guddies.”
>Haze stomps at Bruce, “Hase am gud fwuffy!”
>Hazer and Bruce start to puff their cheeks at each other as Next Special Friend starts to sing.
>”Smawty am de bestest smawty de onwy smawty fo fwuffy!”
>”Am haf guddies wif gud fwuffy and pway wif gud fwuffies too!”
>Pookie starts to dance at Next Special Friend’s singing.
>The new fluffy looks at all of you, “De Biggest Daddeh wub aww fwuffy ‘cause he aww fwuffy daddeh.”
>You look at Helper, “He nuu Deadmeat daddeh.”
>Helper looks at you in shock.
>”Nuu! He yoo daddeh! He am efewy fwuffy daddeh!”
>You shake your head, “Deadmeat haf nuu daddeh.”
>Helper stares at you, “But aww fwuffy wan daddeh…”
>You turn and start to walk back to your new hidey hole.
>”Deadmeat haf nuu daddeh, nuu wan daddeh.”
>Helper stops with a look of confusion on his face, “Bu’ aww fwuffy wan daddeh…”
>He then looks at the sky, “De Biggest Daddeh am yoo daddeh anyway.”
>”Pwease Biggest Daddeh wook afteh gud fwuffy and gif dem sketties and huggies.”
>”SKETTIES!”
>Some more of your fluffies come running out at that word.
>They start to hop around the new fluffy, “Fwuffy am gud fwuffy!”, “Wan sketties pwease!”, “Nyu fwen? Wan pway?”
>You snort at the new fluffy then glance at the sky.
>You look around but only see blue with some white fluffies sky things.
>You see no fluffy pony.
>”Dat fwuffy am dum dum, nuu fwuffy up dere.”
>”Is my little helper making new friends?”
>Your heart sinks.
>You look around in a panic as the new fluffy turns and wags its tail.
>”Daddeh! Hewpeh teww nyu fwen about Biggest Daddeh daddeh!”
>He hops off, “Am gud fwuffy! Biggest Daddeh gif wots huggies!”
>You start to yell at your herd, “Hewd in hidey hole nao! Two wegged munsta am come!”
>Some fluffies turn and run head long into the mausoleum while others start to look around.
>”Bu’ fwuffy hewe daddeh… wan daddeh…”, “Pwease pick fwuffy!”
>You look at Bruce, “Get fwuffy in hidey hole!”
>Bruce nods at you and starts to run around batting the bad fluffies ears making them run crying into the hidey hole you found.
>You run and yell at a couple of fluffies and make sure all the fluffies get behind the iron bars.
>A poke from your horn sends stubborn fluffies crying back into the crypt.
>You look back unable to view beyond all the standing rocks.
>You jump through the bars and hide behind a stone casket.
>”Oveh hewe daddeh! Find nyu fwens!”
>Anger starts to rise up in you.
>That dumb fluffy is bringing the monster here!
>You look around and yell at your herd, “Nuu fwuffy make tawkies! Be quie’ fwuffies!”
>Some fluffies are smart and lay down and cover their eyes.
>You look around the corner as you hear steps getting closer.
>”Hewpeh teww aww fwuffy bout Biggest Daddeh!”
>Finally you see him step past one of the rocks where you can see him.
>He is a tall two legged monster dressed in black wearing the same collar Helper is.
>He has an old book backpack on that is full with bulges showing all over it.
>His face seems a bit wrinkly and the fluff on top of his head is white.
>He is smiling as he steps next to your hidey hole looking around.
>”Where are your new friends Helper?”
>The earth fluffy looks around, “Nuu see nyu fwens daddeh. Dey hewe when Hewpeh weave.”
>The man smiles and looks around, “Hello? Are there any fluffy ponies around?”
>Your herd is good and stays quiet.
>The man sits Helper down and takes off his back pack.
>He opens it and pulls out a red can.
>He grabs it and places his free hand on top of it.
>He smiles, “I guess I have no one to give this spaghetti to then.”
*POP*
>”SKETTIES!!!”
>Most of your herd jumps from behind the caskets and rushing past you.
>You start to stomp at your herd and start to yell, “Nuu! Dat musta! Yoo baf fwuffies! Nuu go to… de…”
>You look as he pours out the red marinara treat.
>Your fluffies swarm on it and start to devour it.
>Several look up at the monster, “Tank yoo!”
>You shake your head and stomp out, “Hewd come to smawty! Dat munsta!”
>The man turns and looks at you smiling, “Its ok little one, I won’t hurt you.”
>You stomp and puff your cheeks, “Dis Deadmeat wand! Yoo go way!”
>Bruce falls in next to you and Pookie jumpse next to you.
>Haze walks between you and the man and sits down wagging his tail with his tongue hanging out.
>Pookie starts to run around you looking at the man, “Smawty take dis wace! Smawty own pwace!”
>The man just smiles at you, “If you come to me I’ll give each of you your own spaghetti.”
>Pookie and Bruce seem to freeze unsure what to do.
>”It is ok, the lord provides enough for all.”
>He reaches to his back pack and brings out a couple of more cans.
>”SKETTIES!!!”
>The clambering fluffies crowd around him as he laughs.
 >He pops another can and pours the contents out as the fluffies throw themselves into the mushy noodles and start eating.
>You stomp at your herd, “Yoo aww bad fwuffies! Nuu goo to munsssspppp….”
>Slobber starts to fill your mouth.
>You try to pry your eyes away from the red sauced treat.
>”Wha.. wha abou’ Hewpeh daddeh… am gud fwuffy… make Biggest Daddeh happy gif gud fwuffy sketties…”
>The man laughs and pours a pile for Helper.
>The white earth fluffy sits and puts his hooves in front of his face for a moment before happily burying his face into the red noodles.
>The monster then walks over and  pours out a whole can just inside of the iron bars.
>Pookie stomps a few times but then slowly walks forward and starts to eat.
>Bruce quickly follows him.
>Haze sits next to you fidgeting, “Wha smawty wan do?”
>The man looks at you, “So you are the smarty then?”
>”Don’t worry little one. All are equal in the eyes of the Lord.”
>”I have a special can just for-“
>”SKEETIES! SKETTIES! MOMMEH FWUFFY NEE SKETTIES!”
>Momma fluffy shuffles and pushes herself up to the bars.
>She pushes her head between Bruce and Pookie and starts to chomp on the noodles.
>You try to stomp but you are transfixed on the pile of ambrosia.
>You have not had any since you left the stinky water monster.
>Your tummy growls a bit.
>You look up at the monster, “Why yoo do dis? Yoo twick fwuffies!”
>He just laughs and smiles.
>He then opens more cans and pours them out for the herd and pours another inside the bars.
>Haze lays on his belly next to you looking on giggling nervously, “Smawty… can Hase haf some… Hase nee smawty say… wan sketties…”
>He looks at you, “It’s no trick.”
>”The lord says to take care of the weakest of us and fluffies are included in that.”
>He steps away from where Bruce, momma fluffy and Pookie are eating their fill and pours out another can.
>”This one is for you smarty. The lord loves all.”
>You snort at the monster.
>You know he is trying to trick you.
>You decide to show this moster you won’t fall for his trap!
>You give the monster a raspberry and stomp toward the pile of freshly poured noodles.
>You are going to knock this monster trap out of your hidey hole!
>Haze gets up and follows behind you with his eyes transfixed on the spaghetti pile.
>You get next to the pile with determination in your eyes.
>You have resolved to-
*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*
>You bury your face into the spaghetti eating ravenously.
>Haze hops about happily, “Smaty say sketties am gud! Hase haf sketties noa!”
>He truddles over to the pile just inside the bars the other fluffies are eating from and starts to chomp hungrily.
>You keep eating feeling the mushy goodness filling your mouth with each chomp.
>It is so good!
>You continue eating as the preacher gets closer to you.
>You forget yourself as you continue to eat.
>You let your tail wag just for a moment.
>You smile as you feel the scratch behind your ear.
>It feels so good.
>You smile with a noodle hanging out the side of your mouth chewing feeling the warmth of the hand petting your mane.
>You smile and get ready to give your daddy the bestest hug.
>You turn and-
>You fall to the ground and roll away from the bars.
>You jump up and stomp in place, “’Tupid! Dum dum! Dum! ‘Tupid! Dum!”
>You are so stupid!
>You turn to the two legged monster with tears in your face stomping with all your might.
>”Yoo am meanie! Yoo twick Deadmeat!”
>The man looks shocked.
>He is still kneeling down with his hand in the bars.
>He looks at you apologetically, “I am sorry. I only wanted to show you I meant no harm.”
>You stomp and start to yeall at nearby fluffies, “Yoo aww bad fwuffies! Nuu haf munsta nummies!”
>You stomp at the monster again, “GO WAY! DIS DEADMEAT WAND!”
>You are angry.
>Angry at the bad fluffies who run to the two legged monster so easily.
>Angry at the bad fluffy who brought this monster to your hidey hole.
>Angry at your closest friends who abandoned you for the horrible delicacy this mean trickster used on you.
>And lastly you are angry at yourself.
>You knew he was bad but you let yourself get weak.
>You are stomping furiously, “GO WAY! GO WAY! GO WAY! GO WAY!”
>The man backs away.
>Haze sees you stomping.
>He quickly swallows a few more bites and truddles next to you.
>He turns and giggles at the two legged monster, “Hase am hewe fo smawty! Tee hee hee!”
>The man looks shocked at your anger toward him.
>”But-“
>”Deadmeat cwaim pwace fiwst!”
>”Dey nuu fwuffy hewe! Dey nuu ting hewe!”
>The man stands there staring at you.
>He then lowers his head, “I am sorry… I caused you distress…”
>He opens a few more cans of spaghetti and pours them out where you were just eating.
>You are still huffing at him with tears in your eyes.
>How could you have let your guard down so bad!
>”I am the main caretaker of this place. I take care of everything as the lord demands.”
>”That means I will take care of the fluffies as well.”
>He walks over and picks up helper who is still trying to bite at piles of speghatti.
>”Nuu daddeh! De Biggest Daddeh wan Hewpeh haf skeeties!”
>He wiggles his hooves at the piles, “Hewpeh am gud fwuffy! Get sketties!”
>He looks at you, “As long as I am here you will not go hungry and there will be plenty for all fluffies.”
>He starts to walk away, “May God bless you little ones.”
>You huff as he walks away.
>Haze stares in awe, “Smawty haf hoomin go way…”
>You stare at the fluffies still eating ravenously at the can of speghatti.
>You stomp at then, “Yoo aww bad fwuffies!”
>You walk back to the pile of spaghetti.
>You are going to push it out!
>You are going to show you cannot be tricked anymore!
>You are growing to hate this stuff that monsters use to trick fluffies!
>You are going to-
*nom*
>You whine as you step back from the pile with a mouthful of noodles.
>You sob as you chomp slowly and swallow.
>You lay on your belly covering your eyes trying not to look at what is in front of you.
>Haze shuffles next to you looking between you and the pile of spaghetti.
>”Hase nuu know wha do smawty.. wha Hase do…?”