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AFT - Wormhorn's Reviews

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  1. === '''Invitation Quest Review''' ===
  2. [''Wormhorn appears before them.'']
  3.  
  4. '''Wormhorn:''' Wait! Before you go, it's time for your review!
  5.  
  6. '''Milo:''' What--
  7.  
  8. [''The screen cuts to Wormhorn's pattern as her theme plays.'']
  9.  
  10. '''Lola:''' [yelp in fear from falling]
  11.  
  12. '''Milo:''' [yelp in fear from falling]
  13.  
  14. '''Wormhorn:''' Or psychological assessment, or... Bumblefeed Personality Quiz, you know... Whatever you want to call it.
  15.  
  16. {{#tag:tabber|(Helped Fela)=<h5 style="display:none">(Helped Fela)</h5>
  17. [[File:Cookie 01 - Picked Flatliners.png|right|120px]]
  18. '''Wormhorn:''' First of all... You intentionally chose to track somebody down for an unknown and vague punishment...
  19. {{clr}}
  20. [[File:Cookie 02 - Lynda.png|right|120px]]
  21. '''Wormhorn:''' ...instead of genuinely helping a poor soul like Lynda.
  22. {{clr}}
  23. [[File:Cookie 02b - Lynda Crossed.png|right|120px]]
  24. '''Wormhorn:''' Who is, needless to say, now permanently affixed to an eternal misery due to your direct actions. Either you thought this sounded more fun or Milo likes to just blindly follow Lola around. Which... either way. I mean, I always liked Witchfinder General, too, so.
  25. {{clr}}
  26. {{#tag:tabber|We wanted to help Fela!=<h5 style="display:none">We wanted to help Fela!</h5>
  27. '''Lola:''' Hey, it wasn't the... punishment, okay? I-- ''we'' wanted to help somebody out.
  28.  
  29. '''Milo:''' Fela--
  30.  
  31. '''Lola:''' Yeah, Fela. Lynda was just like "Buy me a drink--"
  32.  
  33. {{!}}-{{!}}My plan worked out!=<h5 style="display:none">My plan worked out!</h5>
  34. '''Lola:''' Hey, dicksalt, the plan worked out. We're--we're going to Satan's party.
  35.  
  36. {{!}}-{{!}}(Say nothing.)=<h5 style="display:none">(Say nothing.)</h5>
  37. '''Milo:''' Lynda--- I mean, yeah, I wanted to do that one, but to Lola's credit, it-- it really wasn't believable, I mean, "Just buy me a drink--"
  38.  
  39. }}
  40. [[File:Cookie 03 - Greg Eliza Peter.png|right|120px]]
  41. '''Wormhorn:''' Okay, so you heeded the call of justice, but was justice served?
  42. {{clr}}
  43. {{#tag:tabber|(Chose Greg)=<h5 style="display:none">(Chose Greg)</h5>
  44. [[File:Cookie 03b - Chose Greg.png|right|120px]]
  45. '''Wormhorn:''' It was! Well, sort of. You picked Greg, who was the hereafter infiltrator. Of course now he'll never see his family, friends, or help solve the world's energy crisis. I hope it was worth the free house party passes. If you get back, I'd start rationing your clean water if I were you.
  46. {{clr}}
  47. {{#tag:tabber|He did the crime, okay?=<h5 style="display:none">He did the crime, okay?</h5>
  48. '''Lola:''' Hey, Greg did the crime, okay, and if you can't do the time--
  49.  
  50. '''Milo:''' Don't drink the slime.
  51.  
  52. '''Lola:''' What, no, that isn't--
  53.  
  54. {{!}}-{{!}}Bullshit, give me a break.=<h5 style="display:none">Bullshit, give me a break.</h5>
  55. '''Lola:''' Agh, bullshit, Wormhorn, that guy couldn't solve the Daily fuckin' Jumble let alone a--
  56.  
  57. {{!}}-{{!}}(Say nothing.)=<h5 style="display:none">(Say nothing.)</h5>
  58. '''Milo:''' That--that guy?
  59. }}
  60.  
  61. {{!}}-{{!}}(Chose Eliza)=<h5 style="display:none">(Chose Eliza)</h5>
  62. [[File:Cookie 03a - Chose Eliza.png|right|120px]]
  63. '''Wormhorn:''' It wasn't! You chose Eliza, who did nothing untoward except murder her three ugly children. Which animals do every damn day-- And you don't hear any animals complain, do you? I'm sure you're proud of yourselves.
  64. {{clr}}
  65. {{#tag:tabber|That evil creep deserved it!=<h5 style="display:none">That evil creep deserved it!</h5>
  66. '''Lola:''' Oh give me a break, Wormhorn, you're telling me that amoral, evil psycho didn't completely deserve it? What's the harm in getting someone a million times worse punished?
  67.  
  68. '''Wormhorn:''' I guess we'll find out later!
  69.  
  70. {{!}}-{{!}}Who cares who did it!=<h5 style="display:none">Who cares who did it!</h5>
  71. '''Lola:''' Oh Christ on a mountain top, who cares who's sneaking into the worst place in existence?! What could it possibly matter!?
  72.  
  73. '''Wormhorn:''' I guess we'll find out later!
  74.  
  75. {{!}}-{{!}}(Say nothing.)=<h5 style="display:none">(Say nothing.)</h5>
  76. '''Milo:''' Well... I was.
  77.  
  78. }}
  79.  
  80. {{!}}-{{!}}(Chose Pete)=<h5 style="display:none">(Chose Pete)</h5>
  81. [[File:Cookie 03c - Chose Peter.png|right|120px]]
  82. '''Wormhorn:''' It wasn't! You chose Peter, who didn't do a damn thing but try to drive a bus with his penis. Which is a hilarious joke that deserves to be followed-through on. Congratulations. I'm sure you're proud of yourselves.
  83. {{clr}}
  84. {{#tag:tabber|That guy deserved it.=<h5 style="display:none">That guy deserved it.</h5>
  85. '''Lola:''' Eh, that guy deserved it. I mean, he got all those people killed, isn't that-- Isn't that enough?
  86.  
  87. '''Wormhorn:''' I guess we'll find out later!
  88.  
  89. {{!}}-{{!}}Who cares who did it!=<h5 style="display:none">Who cares who did it!</h5>
  90. '''Lola:''' Oh Christ on a mountain top, who cares who's sneaking into the worst place in existence?! What could it possibly matter!?
  91.  
  92. '''Wormhorn:''' I guess we'll find out later!
  93.  
  94. {{!}}-{{!}}(Say nothing.)=<h5 style="display:none">(Say nothing.)</h5>
  95. '''Milo:''' Well... I was.
  96.  
  97. }}
  98.  
  99. }}
  100.  
  101. {{!}}-{{!}}(Helped Lynda)=<h5 style="display:none">(Helped Lynda)</h5>
  102. [[File:Cookie 01 - Mercury Wyrm.png|right|120px]]
  103. '''Wormhorn:''' First of all... You intentionally chose to be a drink mule for somebody named Lynda of all things...
  104. {{clr}}
  105. [[File:Cookie 02 - Fela.png|right|120px]]
  106. '''Wormhorn:''' ...instead of aiding that poor little demon who needed help apprehending a dangerous homo sapien.
  107. {{clr}}
  108. [[File:Cookie 02b - Fela Crossed.png|right|120px]]
  109. '''Wormhorn:''' Either you though this sounded more fun or Lola likes just blindly following Milo around. Which, either way. I mean, getting a vodka-soda for someone does sound simpler.
  110. {{clr}}
  111.  
  112. {{#tag:tabber|Lynda seemed easier, okay?=<h5 style="display:none">Lynda seemed easier, okay?</h5>
  113. '''Milo:''' Hey, so Lynda seemed easier, okay, what's the problem with that? We're not down here to-- to help demons catch people. What is this, an anime from the 80's?
  114.  
  115. {{!}}-{{!}}My plan worked out!=<h5 style="display:none">My plan worked out!</h5>
  116. '''Milo:''' Hey, bugnut, the plan worked out-- we’re-- we’re going to Satan’s party.
  117.  
  118. {{!}}-{{!}}(Say nothing.)=<h5 style="display:none">(Say nothing.)</h5>
  119. '''Lola:''' The demon guy-- yeah, I wanted to do that one, but-- but to Milo’s credit... Getting somebody a drink does sound easier. And it worked. So.
  120. }}
  121.  
  122. '''Wormhorn:''' Alright alright alright, so you needed to find a band to fill Lynda's slot. Which saps did you enlist? Oh wait, I was there, so I already know. It was--
  123.  
  124. {{#tag:tabber|(Chose Blackhouse)=<h5 style="display:none">(Chose Blackhouse)</h5>
  125. [[File:Cookie 03 - Peyton Berinon.png|right|120px]]
  126. '''Wormhorn:''' Blackhouse! Why the fuck did you pick these guys? You know the instant Ono sobers up she's gonna realize you traded three day old coffee for curdled rat milk. I mean, have you heard their songs? Or is rubbing muskrats on your junk something that interests you?
  127. {{clr}}
  128. {{!}}-{{!}}(Chose the chanters)=<h5 style="display:none">(Chose the chanters)</h5>
  129. [[File:Cookie 04 - Chanters.png|right|120px]]
  130. '''Wormhorn:''' The Chanters! Why the fuck did you pick these guys? You know the instant Ono sobers up she's gonna realize you traded three day old coffee for curdled rat milk. I mean, have you heard their singing? I don't know if you have a hearing disability, but... they're not good!
  131. {{clr}}
  132. }}
  133.  
  134. {{#tag:tabber|Who cares who we picked!=<h5 style="display:none">Who cares who we picked!</h5>
  135. '''Milo:''' Oh, who the Hell cares what band we picked? They were the human equivalent of a step-stool. We needed them for a greater purpose.
  136.  
  137. '''Lola:''' You could have-- you could have said higher purpose, for the step-stool connection--
  138.  
  139. '''Milo:''' Oh yeah, I could--
  140.  
  141. {{!}}-{{!}}Hey, she made the deal.=<h5 style="display:none">Hey, she made the deal.</h5>
  142. '''Milo:''' Hey, Ono made the deal herself, okay? And I am not gonna feel sorry that we swindled the-- the demon that invented swindling or whatever.
  143.  
  144. '''Wormhorn:''' I guess we'll see if you can maintain your apathy when she circles the wagon back for a renegotiation...
  145.  
  146. {{!}}-{{!}}(Say nothing.)=<h5 style="display:none">(Say nothing.)</h5>
  147. '''Lola:''' They’re terrible, Wormhorn, who cares, what’s the point.
  148.  
  149. '''Wormhorn:''' What’s the point, what’s the point-- Okay, let’s paint it this way-- you just sold a car with no engine to someone who can make your deaths miserable. I guess we’ll see if you can maintain your apathy when she circles the wagon back for a renegotiation...
  150. }}
  151. }}
  152.  
  153. '''Wormhorn:''' Okay, factoid time! I thought you might want to know what's going on in the land of the living! So, while you were busy accomplishing this very important mission-- instead of, you know, getting your ass off the fucking couch and contributing to society in any meaningful way--
  154.  
  155. {{#tag:tabber|(Random 1)=<h5 style="display:none">(Random 1)</h5>
  156. [[File:Cookie 06 - Nugget.png|right|120px]]
  157. '''Wormhorn:''' A million pounds of chicken nuggets were consumed! Which means half a million pounds of dog food, since... well, that's what chicken nuggets are, for the most part.
  158.  
  159. '''Milo:''' Ugh. Really?
  160. {{clr}}
  161. {{!}}-{{!}}(Random 2)=<h5 style="display:none">(Random 2)</h5>
  162. [[File:Cookie 04 - Florida.png|right|120px]]
  163. '''Wormhorn:''' Seven hundred men in Florida masturbated in libraries in full view of the public!
  164.  
  165. '''Milo:''' Ugh. Really?
  166. {{clr}}
  167. {{!}}-{{!}}(Random 3)=<h5 style="display:none">(Random 3)</h5>
  168. [[File:Cookie 05 - Milky Way.png|right|120px]]
  169. '''Wormhorn:''' The universe expanded one more day! That means there's roughly only one trillion days left for anything to exist or matter at all!
  170.  
  171. '''Lola:''' Okay--
  172. {{clr}}
  173. {{clr}}
  174. {{!}}-{{!}}(Random 4)=<h5 style="display:none">(Random 4)</h5>
  175. [[File:Cookie 05 - Milky Way.png|right|120px]]
  176. '''Wormhorn:''' Susan Lucille Charlesworth was born in Baker City, Oregon! Due to a host of psychological impairments-- she will eventually burn her brother’s house down, killing his family of four, and get away with it, too. Aw.
  177.  
  178. '''Milo:''' Jesus.
  179. {{clr}}
  180. {{clr}}
  181. {{!}}-{{!}}(Random 5)=<h5 style="display:none">(Random 5)</h5>
  182. '''Wormhorn:''' One Vlado Gvojic lost his hand in a factory farm accident in Lenawee County, Michigan. Due to lax regulations, his meat will be served along with the other ninety-three thousand cows slaughtered today!
  183.  
  184. '''Milo:''' Ugh. Really?
  185. {{clr}}
  186. {{!}}-{{!}}(Random 6)=<h5 style="display:none">(Random 6)</h5>
  187. [[File:Cookie 06 - Baby.png|right|120px]]
  188. '''Wormhorn:''' Carl Michael Anthony was born in Aaronsburg, Pennsylvania! Due to an abusive upbringing-- he will go on the murder and partially eat fourteen people until he's caught in 2058.
  189.  
  190. '''Milo:''' Jesus.
  191. {{clr}}
  192. }}
  193.  
  194. {{#tag:tabber|(Random 1)=<h5 style="display:none">(Random 2)</h5>
  195. [[File:Cookie 08 - Hospital Bed.png|right|120px]]
  196. '''Wormhorn:''' Nine thousand people died of literal loneliness. It can happen, kids! Get on those fuck apps!
  197. {{clr}}
  198. {{!}}-{{!}}(Random 2)=<h5 style="display:none">(Random 2)</h5>
  199. [[File:Cookie 09 - Graveyard.png|right|120px]]
  200. '''Wormhorn:''' Three thousand, eight hundred, and fifty six people died! In their entire lives, only forty seven non-consecutive hours of true happiness was felt among them. How sad.
  201. {{clr}}
  202. {{!}}-{{!}}(Random 3)=<h5 style="display:none">(Random 3)</h5>
  203. [[File:Cookie 09 - Rollercoaster.png|right|120px]]
  204. '''Wormhorn:''' One Bryan Washington died due to a roller coaster malfunction that ejected him from his seat. That happens roughly four times a year! Think twice before getting that fast pass, kids!
  205. {{clr}}
  206. {{!}}-{{!}}(Random 4)=<h5 style="display:none">(Random 4)</h5>
  207. [[File:Cookie 07 - Dad Son.png|right|120px]]
  208. '''Wormhorn:''' Currently three percent of fathers are lying about being one. Do you really know who your dad is? Who's to say!
  209. {{clr}}
  210. {{!}}-{{!}}(Random 5)=<h5 style="display:none">(Random 5)</h5>
  211. [[File:Cookie 08 - Hearse.png|right|120px]]
  212. '''Wormhorn:''' One-hundred and thirty six murders were committed that will never be solved! Twenty eight of these will cause their assigned detectives to verbally abuse their spouses tonight.
  213. {{clr}}
  214. }}
  215.  
  216. '''Lola:''' Wormhorn--
  217.  
  218. '''Wormhorn:''' And of course-- Oh, wait, sorry-- these are out of order--
  219.  
  220. '''Lola:''' WORMHORN!
  221.  
  222. {{#tag:tabber|(Lola drank with Greg and lost or talked to Eliza)=<h5 style="display:none">(Lola drank with Greg and lost or talked to Eliza)</h5>
  223. [[File:Cookie 11 - Lola Greg Drinkoff.png|right|120px]]
  224. '''Wormhorn:''' You lost the Drink Off, you giant-ass dork! Who the hell can't stack glasses!
  225. {{clr}}
  226. {{!}}-{{!}}(Lola danced against Valac)=<h5 style="display:none">(Lola danced against Valac)</h5>
  227. '''Wormhorn:''' Lola won that dancing thing on her first try, you giant-ass dork! Who the Hell is good at this stupid shit?! Get a life!
  228. {{clr}}
  229. {{!}}-{{!}}(Milo danced against Valac)=<h5 style="display:none">(Milo danced against Valac)</h5>
  230. '''Wormhorn:''' Milo won that dancing thing on the first try, you giant-ass dork! Who the Hell is good at this stupid shit?! Get a life!
  231. {{clr}}
  232. }}
  233.  
  234. '''Wormhorn:''' [laughs wildly]
  235.  
  236. {{#tag:tabber|Why are you doing this?!=<h5 style="display:none">Why are you doing this?!</h5>
  237. {{#tag:tabber|(Chose Lynda)=<h5 style="display:none">(Chose Lynda)</h5>
  238. '''Milo:''' Wormhorn, just, why the Hell are you doing this, huh?
  239.  
  240. '''Wormhorn:''' Why am I... it's my job, Milo.
  241.  
  242. {{!}}-{{!}}(Chose Fela)=<h5 style="display:none">(Chose Fela)</h5>
  243. '''Lola:''' Wormhorn, just--ugh-- why the fuck are you doing this, huh?
  244.  
  245. '''Wormhorn:''' Why am I... it's my job, Lola.
  246.  
  247. }}
  248. '''Wormhorn:''' It's what I was created to do-- sired by your mom using pspilocybin mushrooms when she was pregnant!
  249.  
  250. {{!}}-{{!}}Get us out of here!=<h5 style="display:none">Get us out of here!</h5>
  251. {{#tag:tabber|(Chose Lynda)=<h5 style="display:none">(Chose Lynda)</h5>
  252. '''Milo:''' Get us out of here, Wormhorn! We need to get on with our night before we're stuck here forever!
  253.  
  254. {{!}}-{{!}}(Chose Fela)=<h5 style="display:none">(Chose Fela)</h5>
  255. '''Lola:''' Get us the Hell out of here, Wormhorn! We need to get on with our night before it's over!
  256.  
  257. }}
  258.  
  259. {{!}}-{{!}}(Say nothing.)=<h5 style="display:none">(Say nothing.)</h5>
  260. {{#tag:tabber|(Chose Lynda)=<h5 style="display:none">(Chose Lynda)</h5>
  261. '''Lola:''' Wormhorn, can we just, like, go. Please.
  262.  
  263. {{!}}-{{!}}(Chose Fela)=<h5 style="display:none">(Chose Fela)</h5>
  264. '''Milo:''' Wormhorn, can we-- can we just go, now, please?
  265.  
  266. }}
  267.  
  268. }}
  269.  
  270. '''Wormhorn:''' So... ugh, fine, whatever. I'll talk to you-- I'll talk to you later.
  271.  
  272.  
  273.  
  274.  
  275.  
  276.  
  277.  
  278.  
  279.  
  280.  
  281.  
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  286.  
  287.  
  288.  
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  297.  
  298.  
  299.  
  300.  
  301.  
  302.  
  303.  
  304.  
  305.  
  306. === '''Wormhorn's Asmodeus Review''' ===
  307.  
  308. '''Lola:''' [Yelps]
  309.  
  310. '''Milo:''' [Screams]
  311.  
  312. [''The screen cuts to Wormhorn's pattern, and Milo and Lola fall into her projector room.'']
  313.  
  314. '''Wormhorn:''' Elevators typically only kill thirty people per year, Milo. Of course, that doesn't take into account how many people are murdered inside an elevator, so... Who's to say your next trip up the lift won't be your last?
  315.  
  316. [''Her projector sputters to life.'']
  317.  
  318. '''Wormhorn:''' But let's take a look at what terribly excruciating memories are burning up the charts! Coming in at number three-- I can't believe it's so low...
  319.  
  320. [[File:Cookie 01 - Milo Hug Conscience.png|right|120px]]
  321.  
  322. '''Wormhorn:''' Milo taking the time to regain his Conscience! What a horribly inefficient way to use company time-- unless, of course, you were just scared to finally let your inner monologue finally act on your behalf?
  323. {{clr}}
  324.  
  325. {{#tag:tabber|I wasn't myself without him!=<h5 style="display:none">I wasn't myself without him!</h5>
  326. '''Milo:''' I wasn't myself without him, Wormhorn, I felt like I was wearing, like, ill-fitting clothes or something.
  327.  
  328. '''Wormhorn:''' Your grandmother didn't knit you a purple sweater, man, you were free to do whatever the fuck you wanted! And you bottled it all up inside the absolutely fastest you could! Shame.
  329.  
  330. '''Lola:''' Wormhorn--
  331. {{!}}-{{!}}Lola wanted me to!=<h5 style="display:none">Lola wanted me to!</h5>
  332. '''Milo:''' Hey, I could tell Lola was getting freaked out, alright, and I wanted to--
  333.  
  334. '''Lola:''' Excuse me? I was not getting "freaked out," but ''you'' were completely freaking out-- like in a bad, slap-me-across-the-face-in-a-movie kind of way.
  335.  
  336. '''Milo:''' It was not ''that'' bad.
  337.  
  338. {{!}}-{{!}}(Say nothing.)=<h5 style="display:none">(Say nothing.)</h5>
  339. '''Lola:''' We got it back because it was the smart thing to do, not because he was scared--
  340. }}
  341.  
  342. '''Wormhorn:''' And speaking of dancing, coming in at Number Two...
  343.  
  344. {{#tag:tabber|(Won without Beth present)=<h5 style="display:none">(Won without Beth present)</h5>
  345. [[File:Cookie 02 - Milo Won Dancing.png|right|120px]]
  346. {{#tag:tabber|(Convinced Beth)=<h5 style="display:none">(Convinced Beth)</h5>
  347. '''Wormhorn:''' Milo won the competition! How ridiculously stupid to have actually played along with this shit. I don't know if you know what you looked like out there... but there will be people checking their insurance tomorrow to see if PTSD is covered. Ask around if you don't believe me. It wasn't a pretty sight.
  348. {{!}}-{{!}}(Didn't convince Beth)=<h5 style="display:none">(Didn't convince Beth)</h5>
  349. '''Wormhorn:''' Milo won the competition! How ridiculously stupid to have actually played along with this shit when you got Beth to come with you-- and then didn't do what Asmodeus wanted! You know you could have been like buds with that guy, right? I wonder if that would've come in handy at some point!
  350. }}
  351.  
  352. {{clr}}
  353. {{#tag:tabber|It's good to win things!=<h5 style="display:none">It's good to win things!</h5>
  354. '''Milo:''' It's good to win things, Wormhorn, what do you expect me to say here, exactly?!
  355.  
  356. '''Wormhorn:''' Oh, I dunno. ‘I'm a giant loser who will willingly mimic slow, repetitive prompts with my quickly evaporating free time?'
  357.  
  358. '''Milo:''' What is that supposed to--
  359.  
  360. {{!}}-{{!}}I couldn't contain myself!=<h5 style="display:none">I couldn't contain myself!</h5>
  361. '''Milo:''' I couldn't contain myself! Okay, I-- I never get to win stuff like that, and I wanted to live it out when no one I knew was around.
  362.  
  363. '''Lola:''' Hey!
  364.  
  365. '''Milo:''' I mean no one I knew who I cared what they thought-- wait, this is making it worse.
  366. }}
  367. {{!}}-{{!}}(Lost with Beth present)=<h5 style="display:none">(Lost with Beth present)</h5>
  368. [[File:Cookie 03 - Milo Lost Dancing.png|right|120px]]
  369. '''Wormhorn:''' Milo lost the competition! You gave up the golden goose for Asmodeus, the guy that designs how humans get tortured in Hell. Talk about a betrayal of the natural order-- you roll on your back cause a demon can remember your first fuckin' name? Where's your spine? Where's your-- your sense of honor?
  370. {{clr}}
  371. {{#tag:tabber|No, I just sucked.=<h5 style="display:none">No, I just sucked.</h5>
  372. '''Milo:''' Yeah, I sucked, alright?! What do you want me to say?
  373.  
  374. '''Wormhorn:''' Oh, I dunno. ‘I'm a giant loser who will willingly mimic slow, repetitive prompts with my quickly evaporating free time?'
  375.  
  376. '''Milo:''' What is that supposed to--
  377.  
  378. {{!}}-{{!}}I wanted to help Asmodeus!=<h5 style="display:none">I wanted to help Asmodeus!</h5>
  379. '''Milo:''' Hey, so I wanted to help Asmodeus, alright? It worked out, we-- we got the Seal and got them together.
  380.  
  381. '''Lola:''' And his said to text if we needed anything--
  382.  
  383. '''Milo:''' Yeah, exactly.
  384.  
  385. '''Wormhorn:''' Oh, he said to ‘text', did he? Turn on read receipts-- see if you ever get a ding from that asshole.x
  386.  
  387. }}
  388.  
  389. }}
  390.  
  391. {{#tag:tabber|(Haven't done Apollyon's quest yet)=<h5 style="display:none">(Haven't done Apollyon's quest yet)</h5>
  392. '''Wormhorn:''' And the new number one recollection on this completely made-up list is...
  393.  
  394. {{#tag:tabber|(Chose "The leader running things.")=<h5 style="display:none">(Chose "The leader running things.")</h5>
  395. '''Wormhorn:''' Oh... oh shoot, how'd this one get in here... It looks like a picture of Lola not fulfilling her lifelong goal of becoming a powerful leader of industry...
  396.  
  397. {{!}}-{{!}}(Chose "The woman with the family.")=<h5 style="display:none">(Chose "The woman with the family.")</h5>
  398. [''The slide switches to the image of Lola drinking form a wine glass.'']
  399.  
  400. '''Wormhorn:''' Oh... oh shoot, how'd this one get in here... I t looks like a picture of Lola not fulfilling her lifelong goal of becoming a family woman...
  401.  
  402. }}
  403.  
  404. '''Wormhorn:''' [sighs] Tsk tsk. What a shame, really.
  405.  
  406. {{#tag:tabber|I see what you're doing.=<h5 style="display:none">I see what you're doing.</h5>
  407. '''Lola:''' Yeah, okay, I can see what you're doing and, you know, when you can tell the magician studied really hard-- the trick kinda loses some of its flair, you know?
  408.  
  409. '''Wormhorn:''' What do you mean? I didn't do this! It must have been, uh... Whatever, moving on--
  410.  
  411. {{!}}-{{!}}(Sarcastic) Oh no!=<h5 style="display:none">(Sarcastic) Oh no!</h5>
  412. '''Lola:''' Oh my God, no! How-- how did you find these clearly divine images?
  413.  
  414. '''Wormhorn:''' What do you mean? I didn't do this! It must have been, uh... Whatever, moving on--
  415.  
  416. {{!}}-{{!}}(Say nothing.)=<h5 style="display:none">(Say nothing.)</h5>
  417. '''Wormhorn:''' Anyways, moving on...
  418.  
  419. }}
  420.  
  421. }}
  422.  
  423. '''Wormhorn:''' And the new top-ranked ‘What the Hell were they thinking' thing they did is...
  424.  
  425. {{#tag:tabber|(Beth and Asmodeus are together)=<h5 style="display:none">(Beth and Asmodeus are together)</h5>
  426. '''Wormhorn:''' ...Get Asmodeus and Beth back together again! Yeah, let's take a volatile, childish, dangerously corpulent torture chamberist-- and put him back together with a self-obsessed marketing executive that listens to the Eagles. Cause that'll work--
  427.  
  428. {{!}}-{{!}}(Beth and Asmodeus are still apart)=<h5 style="display:none">(Beth and Asmodeus are still apart)</h5>
  429. [''The slide switches to Beth drinking with her friends.'']
  430.  
  431. '''Wormhorn:''' ...Not get Asmodeus and Beth back together again! Really, guys? This was a layup! How many ways do they have to spell shit out for you? And when has getting two people into a relationship not been beneficial, except for the vast majority of times?
  432.  
  433. }}
  434.  
  435. '''Lola:''' Enough, Wormhorn! Can it and open the doors!
  436.  
  437. {{#tag:tabber|(Haven't done Apollyon's quest yet)=<h5 style="display:none">(Haven't done Apollyon's quest yet)</h5>
  438. '''Wormhorn:''' What?! I'm trying my best! I've been to the-- the Akashic records and back-- I've been through your brain journals, your memory palaces... You're not exactly giving me snuff films and spy movies, here.
  439.  
  440. '''Milo:''' Let us... go.
  441.  
  442. '''Wormhorn:''' No. You know what-- why should I? Tell me-- Why don't I just keep you here. Why don't I just-- I just burn time till there's nothing left.
  443.  
  444. {{#tag:tabber|Because it's more fun the other way?=<h5 style="display:none">Because it's more fun the other way?</h5>
  445. '''Lola:''' Uh, because it's more fun to let us out and watch us try? And fail? Than sitting in this dark room on your first night in existence?
  446.  
  447. '''Wormhorn:''' I guess... that's hard to argue.
  448.  
  449. {{!}}-{{!}}Don't even joke, asshole.=<h5 style="display:none">Don't even joke, asshole.</h5>
  450. '''Lola:''' Seriously, Wormhorn, don't even joke about it. I'll find a fucking way to end you, I swear it. I'll become a damn... witch, okay? You don't want me down here any more than you need to.
  451.  
  452.  
  453. {{!}}-{{!}}(Say nothing.)=<h5 style="display:none">(Say nothing.)</h5>
  454. '''Wormhorn:''' Why don't I just become a crippling depression and just make you stay in bed, huh?
  455.  
  456. '''Milo:''' I don't know, Wormhorn. But I don't think you know, either.
  457.  
  458. }}
  459.  
  460. '''Wormhorn:''' Ugh, whatever. Just remember... I know which one of you likes to be spanked... I know which one you likes to get their hair pulled... I know which one of you hates themselves so much they hate their parents for the idea... And I know which one of you hates the other one... almost as much. Think about it! Bye!
  461.  
  462. '''Milo:''' That bit's not getting any fresher, I can tell you that much.
  463.  
  464. [''A pause.'']
  465.  
  466. '''Milo:''' I don't hate you, by the way.
  467. {{#tag:tabber|I don't hate you either.=<h5 style="display:none">I don't hate you either.</h5>
  468. '''Lola:''' Yeah, I don't hate you either.
  469.  
  470. {{!}}-{{!}}I know.=<h5 style="display:none">I know.</h5>
  471. '''Lola:''' Yeah, I figured.
  472.  
  473. }}
  474.  
  475.  
  476. {{!}}-{{!}}(Have done Apollyon's quest)=<h5 style="display:none">(Have done Apollyon's quest)</h5>
  477. '''Wormhorn:''' What's the matter with you, guys?! Don't you-- don't you appreciate the amount of work I've put into this?!
  478.  
  479. '''Milo:''' Why would we appreciate this?!
  480.  
  481. '''Lola:''' All we care about is... is each other, and just getting out, and this is not helping!
  482.  
  483. '''Wormhorn:''' All you care about is each other. No one cares about Wormhorn. Wouldn't it be nice if Wormhorn had someone to rub on her shoulders? If Wormhorn had someone to help cheat at Marco Polo? If Wormhorn had an extra two arms to give herself hugs?
  484.  
  485. {{#tag:tabber|I mean, you're okay?=<h5 style="display:none">I mean, you're okay?</h5>
  486. '''Lola:''' I mean... you're, like, okay...
  487.  
  488. '''Milo:''' You're just, like, kind of really annoying.
  489.  
  490. '''Lola:''' Yeah.
  491.  
  492. [''A pause.'']
  493.  
  494. '''Lola:''' Wormhorn?
  495.  
  496. {{!}}-{{!}}Nope, nobody cares about you.=<h5 style="display:none">Nope, nobody cares about you.</h5>
  497. '''Lola:''' You hit it right on the money, Mary, absolutely, nobody cares about you. People pay good money to get permanently rid of brain-stains like you, okay? So if you think I'm gonna get sad cause my irrational fear of tornadoes suddenly feels lonely, you are sadly, sadly mistaken, buddy.
  498.  
  499. [''A pause.'']
  500.  
  501. '''Milo:''' Wormhorn?
  502.  
  503. {{!}}-{{!}}(Say nothing.)=<h5 style="display:none">(Say nothing.)</h5>
  504. '''Wormhorn:''' Whatever.
  505.  
  506. }}
  507.  
  508. '''Wormhorn:''' Bye.
  509.  
  510. [''Milo and Lola are dropped back into reality.'']
  511.  
  512. '''Lola:''' Christ, let's get to Welkin Way before any more of Wormhorn's shit happens.
  513.  
  514. }}
  515.  
  516.  
  517.  
  518.  
  519.  
  520.  
  521.  
  522.  
  523.  
  524.  
  525.  
  526.  
  527.  
  528.  
  529.  
  530.  
  531. == Lynda/Fela ==
  532. === Choosing Fela ===
  533. <gallery orientation="none" widths="100" position="center" captionalign="center" bordersize="none" bordercolor="transparent" hideaddbutton="true">
  534. Cookie 01 - Picked Flatliners.png|3
  535. Cookie 02 - Lynda.png|7
  536. Cookie 02b - Lynda Crossed.png|12
  537. Cookie 03 - Greg Eliza Peter.png|14
  538. Cookie 03a - Chose Eliza.png|18
  539. Cookie 03b - Chose Greg.png|19
  540. Cookie 03c - Chose Peter.png|20
  541. Cookie 03d - No One Caught.png|21
  542. Cookie 11 - Lola Greg Drinkoff.png|50
  543. </gallery>
  544. === Choosing Lynda ===
  545. <gallery orientation="none" widths="100" position="center" captionalign="center" bordersize="none" bordercolor="transparent" hideaddbutton="true">
  546. Cookie 01 - Mercury Wyrm.png|1
  547. Cookie 02 - Fela.png|6
  548. Cookie 02b - Fela Crossed.png|11
  549. Cookie 03 - Peyton Berinon.png|16
  550. Cookie 04 - Chanters.png|22
  551. Cookie 11 - Milo Dance.png|51
  552. Cookie 12 - Lola Dance.png|54
  553. </gallery>
  554. === Misc ===
  555. <gallery orientation="none" widths="100" position="center" captionalign="center" bordersize="none" bordercolor="transparent" hideaddbutton="true">
  556. Cookie 05 - Milky Way.png|29
  557. Cookie 04 - Florida.png|24
  558. Cookie 09 - Graveyard.png|44
  559. Cookie 07 - Dad Son.png|37
  560. Cookie 06 - Baby.png|32
  561. Cookie 09 - Rollercoaster.png|47
  562. Cookie 06 - Nugget.png|34
  563. Cookie 08 - Hearse.png|41
  564. </gallery>
  565.  
  566. == Asmodeus ==
  567. <gallery orientation="none" widths="100" position="center" captionalign="center" bordersize="none" bordercolor="transparent" hideaddbutton="true">
  568. Cookie 01 - Milo Hug Conscience.png|2
  569. </gallery>
  570.  
  571.  
  572. == Unsorted Slides ==
  573. === Misc ===
  574. <gallery orientation="none" widths="100" position="center" captionalign="center" bordersize="none" bordercolor="transparent" hideaddbutton="true">
  575. Cookie 01 - Whale.png|5
  576. Cookie 02 - Smiling Woman.png|10
  577. Cookie 03 - Airplane.png|13
  578. Cookie 04 - Crushed Under TV.png|23
  579. Cookie 05 - Family.png|28
  580. Cookie 06 - Administering CPR.png|31
  581. Cookie 06 - Smiling Man And Woman.png|35
  582. Cookie 07 - Mustache Man.png|38
  583. Cookie 07 - Sick People.png|39
  584. Cookie 08 - Smiling Man.png|43
  585. Cookie 09 - Ice Cube.png|45
  586. Cookie Blank.png|56
  587. </gallery>
  588. === Plot ===
  589. <gallery orientation="none" widths="100" position="center" captionalign="center" bordersize="none" bordercolor="transparent" hideaddbutton="true">
  590. Cookie 04 - Milo Look At Conscience.png|26
  591. Cookie 02 - Milo Won Dancing.png|8
  592. Cookie 03 - Milo Lost Dancing.png|15
  593. Cookie 01 - Roberto.png|4
  594. Cookie 03 - Roberto Innocent.png|17
  595. Cookie 02 - Roberto Guilty.png|9
  596. Cookie 04 - Lutzelfrau.png|25
  597. Cookie 05 - Asmodeus Beth In Love.png|27
  598. Cookie 06 - Beth With Her Friends.png|33
  599. Cookie 09 - Lola on Drugs.png|46
  600. Cookie 10 - Lola Refused Drugs.png|48
  601. Cookie 10 - Trench Coat X-Ray Milo Top.png|49
  602. Cookie xx - Lola Wine.png|57
  603. Cookie xx - Tattered Lola.png|58
  604. Cookie 05 - Scuttlebutt.png|30
  605. Cookie 07 - Azi Henrietta Carried Away.png|36
  606. Cookie 08 - Azi Henrietta Happy.png|40
  607. Cookie 11 - Poop Children Milo Lola Friends.png|52
  608. Cookie 11 - Trench Coat X-Ray Lola Top.png|53
  609. Cookie 12 - Poop Children Milo Lola Bored.png|55
  610. </gallery>
  611.  
  612.  
  613.  
  614.  
  615.  
  616.  
  617.  
  618.  
  619. == Wormhorn Slides (ALL) ==
  620. <gallery orientation="none" widths="100" position="center" captionalign="center" bordersize="none" bordercolor="transparent" hideaddbutton="true">
  621. Cookie 01 - Mercury Wyrm.png|1
  622. Cookie 01 - Milo Hug Conscience.png|2
  623. Cookie 01 - Picked Flatliners.png|3
  624. Cookie 01 - Roberto.png|4
  625. Cookie 01 - Whale.png|5
  626. Cookie 02 - Fela.png|6
  627. Cookie 02 - Lynda.png|7
  628. Cookie 02 - Milo Won Dancing.png|8
  629. Cookie 02 - Roberto Guilty.png|9
  630. Cookie 02 - Smiling Woman.png|10
  631. Cookie 02b - Fela Crossed.png|11
  632. Cookie 02b - Lynda Crossed.png|12
  633. Cookie 03 - Airplane.png|13
  634. Cookie 03 - Greg Eliza Peter.png|14
  635. Cookie 03 - Milo Lost Dancing.png|15
  636. Cookie 03 - Peyton Berinon.png|16
  637. Cookie 03 - Roberto Innocent.png|17
  638. Cookie 03a - Chose Eliza.png|18
  639. Cookie 03b - Chose Greg.png|19
  640. Cookie 03c - Chose Peter.png|20
  641. Cookie 03d - No One Caught.png|21
  642. Cookie 04 - Chanters.png|22
  643. Cookie 04 - Crushed Under TV.png|23
  644. Cookie 04 - Florida.png|24
  645. Cookie 04 - Lutzelfrau.png|25
  646. Cookie 04 - Milo Look At Conscience.png|26
  647. Cookie 05 - Asmodeus Beth In Love.png|27
  648. Cookie 05 - Family.png|28
  649. Cookie 05 - Milky Way.png|29
  650. Cookie 05 - Scuttlebutt.png|30
  651. Cookie 06 - Administering CPR.png|31
  652. Cookie 06 - Baby.png|32
  653. Cookie 06 - Beth With Her Friends.png|33
  654. Cookie 06 - Nugget.png|34
  655. Cookie 06 - Smiling Man And Woman.png|35
  656. Cookie 07 - Azi Henrietta Carried Away.png|36
  657. Cookie 07 - Dad Son.png|37
  658. Cookie 07 - Mustache Man.png|38
  659. Cookie 07 - Sick People.png|39
  660. Cookie 08 - Azi Henrietta Happy.png|40
  661. Cookie 08 - Hearse.png|41
  662. Cookie 08 - Hospital Bed.png|42
  663. Cookie 08 - Smiling Man.png|43
  664. Cookie 09 - Graveyard.png|44
  665. Cookie 09 - Ice Cube.png|45
  666. Cookie 09 - Lola on Drugs.png|46
  667. Cookie 09 - Rollercoaster.png|47
  668. Cookie 10 - Lola Refused Drugs.png|48
  669. Cookie 10 - Trench Coat X-Ray Milo Top.png|49
  670. Cookie 11 - Lola Greg Drinkoff.png|50
  671. Cookie 11 - Milo Dance.png|51
  672. Cookie 11 - Poop Children Milo Lola Friends.png|52
  673. Cookie 11 - Trench Coat X-Ray Lola Top.png|53
  674. Cookie 12 - Lola Dance.png|54
  675. Cookie 12 - Poop Children Milo Lola Bored.png|55
  676. Cookie Blank.png|56
  677. Cookie xx - Lola Wine.png|57
  678. Cookie xx - Tattered Lola.png|58
  679. </gallery>
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