Obviously we should all just lie

Alexithymiaa: -Steph laid on the couch with her head resting on Penny who was all curled up and warm, a throw blanket pulled tightly around her body with her eyes set on the tv screen where she was streaming the final sets of Ultra music festival for the weekend. Felix is a night too late because Marshmellow played last night. Giving a bit of a shiver, she moved her hands under the blanket to adjust the oversized hoodie she stole from Felix, whining just a bit. "Babe? Can you light a fire? It's cold in here."-
Covet: Felix had been laying on the couch, equally as bundled up as he had been all weekend. In Felix's defense He's probably been in this same set of clothes since yesterday. His body ached, and was feverish, and he had an obnoxious congested cough now too. He looked at Steph and her whining, then gave a series of grunts and groans as he got up off of the couch. He'd wanted to talk to her about her bullshit all weekend but he'd been feeling too shitty to put too much thought into it. He was also cold though and a fire would be nice. limbed out of his blanket and made his way slowly over to the fireplace getting it all set up, leaning against the brick, working slowly.
Alexithymiaa: "Thank you." She said in a meek voice, her eyes moving from the screen to watch him do the fire things. "Did you take the cold medicine I left for you? Because it's probably a good idea to take a PM dose and get into bed early. I'll probably get into bed early with you since I'm pretty tired."-
Covet: "No, but I will once I get this going." He told her then glanced at her. "I know I slept a good part of today, did you get yourself something to eat?" He asked her posing the question slowly to her. He fought with the fire a bit mostly because his muscles hurt, but he evenutally got it going.
Alexithymiaa: -She chewed on the inside of her cheek, not wanting to lie to him, but also not actually wanting to tell the truth. "No... I wasnt really feeling well today." She lifted her head off the dog when Penny stirred, settling it back down into her fur and bringing the blanket up to her nose in a subconscious way of hiding.-
Covet: "Mhhm. That's been your excuse the last few times I've asked you. Should I be worried?" Felix asked then started coughing a bit, making his way into the kitchen. He got himself a glass of apple juice and the cold medicine that Steph had picked up for him.
Alexithymiaa: -She sat up a little to watch him since she heard the coughing, keeping her hand propped underneath her. "The only thing I want you to worry about, is not keeling over." She spoke with a frown, kind of dodging a bit.-
Covet: "I'll be fine, It's just a head and chest cold." He told her as he took the cold medicine, then brought his glass of juice back over to the table. " Just because I've been shitty all weekend doesn't mean I don't intend to make sure you're doing alright. So should I be worried?" He asked with a groan as he curled back up on the couch.
Alexithymiaa: "Doesnt mean you dont feel like shit right now." She said as she watched him return to the couch. Sticking her hand out from underneath the blanket, she laid it over the leg of his pants, resting her chin down in Penny's fur so she could continue to stare at him. "I really don't want you to worry about me. I can handle me. You just worry about getting better."-
Covet: "Stop." Felix told her, noticing things more now that Bryan had clued him in a bit. "I can do both. I've been doing pretty good at both, or at least I thought I was." He said then looked over at her with a glance that screamed, 'Bitch I know'
Alexithymiaa: -She blinked at him as she watched his face, noticing his expression, but not fully connecting all the dots of what he was entirely getting at. "I..." She paused, feeling the heat creeping up the back of her neck since she was about to fucking lie to him before sighing deeply. "Can we talk about this another time?"-
Covet: Felix watched her then shook his head, "No, because from the sounds of it, it's been to many days already. I didn't realize that I was so spot on with my burning calories comment." He said blinking softly, " So tell me what's up."
Covet: *too many days
Alexithymiaa: "I don't know..." She grumbled, lying her head back down on Penny and pulling the blanket up further. "I'm just uncomfortable." She let her words hang because she didnt know how else to describe how she was feeling.-
Covet: "Uncomfortable how? What made you start feeling like that?" He asked her taking a sip from his drink. " I just want to understand what it is going on up there, so that the next time I turn my head, I don't turn around to find you missing and off track."
Alexithymiaa: "With myself..." Closing her eyes, she pulled her hand back under the blanket, hiding a bit because that made things easier. "Boston? It was just easy to forget how out of shape I am and how much weight I've put on when I'm not constantly surrounded by world class athletes. I remember being there and being able to do all of those things with such ease. My favorite jeans are too tight, I can barely run for any amount of time before I feel sick... I'm just not who I want to be."-
Covet: Listening to her he nodded, then shook his head, " Why are you still comparing yourself to them. When you're not one of them anymore? The stupid part is, is that you know you're not, yet you still feel the need to be on their level and for what? None of them care, so why do you care so much? Especially when you know the damages it's caused, and are constantly feeling guilty over them?" Felix asked.
Alexithymiaa: "I can't help it. It was a huge part of my life for a majority of my life. It's not like there's some switch that I can just turn it off and stop caring. Do you think I want to feel like shit?" She asked a little hastily, sitting up again and twisting to look at him. "If I could, I would change everything. But I can't. I can't just force it to go away."-
Covet: "You can't help it? Is that how I sounded?" Felix said shaking his head, "You can give me ever excuse in the book, it doesn't change the fact that you're not even trying to force it to go away, you're giving in to it. And it's effecting your life. All because you were back around that influence again. So you know what that means right?" Felix asked her.
Covet: *every
Alexithymiaa: "I can't just force it, Arizona. It doesnt work like that. You have no idea what this feels like and you really dont get to say that I'm not trying. Why, because I have one slip up, that means everything I've fought against for years just doesnt count?" She snapped a little in defensive, furrowing her brows. "What?"-
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Covet: "You and I both know it's not just one slip up. It's not your first, nor will it be your last. But the fact that you let yourself give into it so easily." He said shaking his head, " You're done with gymnastics. Clearly you can't handle just being a coach to those girls, that environment is still toxic to you. And you promised if it became and issue, that you'd quit. Well, I think it's safe to say it's become an issue." Felix started coughing again.
Alexithymiaa: "So easily?" She repeated, staring blankly at him. "Yeah, because I chose this. I elected to feel like this, Felix. I did everything I thought I could to turn this around for me and I'm still having trouble looking at my reflection in the mirror. So tell me just how easy this was." She crossed her arms over her chest, pouting a bit. "I'm running out of ways to show myself that this gets better... because it doesnt. And this has nothing to do with coaching. I'm there every morning and I'm able to help those girls and it's never made it any harder on me before. So I won't go to invitationals with them, fine. But I'm not quitting altogether."-
Covet: "But are you even giving yourself a chance to get comfortable with the healthier you? You're not going to magically feel better about yourself over night just because you start making changes." Felix told her sitting up " It has everything and anything to do with gymnastics. Whether it's coaching or or whatever. It started there, and clearly being involved in it, is detrimental to your health and is only making you a bad example an role model to those girls." He said, it was harsh he knows, but sometimes you have go get harsh. " The fact is, the signs can't be ignored, that you can't be working to get healthy, in an environment that constantly causes you to criticize yourself. The only way to make that change stick, is to remove yourself from the environment."
Alexithymiaa: -She opened her mouth to go back at him and promptly shut it when she heard his comment about being a bad example of a role model. Falling silent, she glanced down at her hands, swallowing the growing lump in her throat. "I'm sorry if I disappointed you..." Pushing up from the couch, she tossed the blanket down on top of Penny, walking through the living room without another word to head into the office, making sure she locked the door behind her to she could sit and write alone.-
Covet: Felix watched her then sighed, before groaning. He pulled the blanket up over his head and burried himself in the pillows, he felt like even crappier crap that he'd gotten so snappy with her. Being sick made him the worst, even when he was thinking for the best, he couldn't put any more energy into this and gave into the aches and chills, quickly falling asleep.