RIPN0mad

My brother passed October 3rd, 2013... So today is the 4 month mark of the day that he died.. we were told we'd have an autopsy within this time..and we still don't.. its so hard to fathom moving on, when we don't even know why he's gone.

San Joaquin county does not have the funds for an independent coroner's office, so the sheriff department doubles as coroner.. and well they're also one of the poorest counties in the country, with stockton going bankrupt and also having one of the highest per capita murder and crime rates..
so i guess you can say budget problems, excessive cases, short staffing = backlog of files.
they initially told us approximately 4months.. now it seems like they still aren't "around to it" yet

the thing that is curious to me is that they haven't even been able to rule out foul play.
My brother was technically a "found" homeless death. So you'd think there would be some urgency into an investigation of his cause of death since it is completely unknown.
I mean there is speculation of natural cause from circumstances of living outside.. but nothing is concrete or definite one way or the other.

all that i've been able to do for 4 months is wonder, and scenarios play though my head continuously. There is no rest or at peace in my mind when it comes to his passing.
All that i have been able to process is that he's gone.. but the why and the how, even the exact when.. can't be processed yet.