Dasein's Scripts

==== GUIDE ====
Do I Think You're Beautiful? (Line 10)
Wait a Minute (Line 28)
To Kiss or Not To Kiss (Line 36)
This Isn't A Script (Line 46)
Thousands (Line 62)
The Machine (Line 78)
A Great Night of Something (Line 88)
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Do I Think You're Beautiful? , Monologue

"Do I think you're beautiful?" You know I hate loaded questions. But, okay, I'll play your little game if it'll make you happy.

Your legs. Long. Shapely. There might be just the slightest bow to them, but it's not really noticeable. ... Doesn't seem to interfere with the walking. Hey, I wouldn't give the bow another thought.

And you've got one heck of a trim chest. I mean, who wants to see excess baggage in that area? Certainly not me; that's for sure. Now don't get me wrong; I could probably handle the excess if it were there, but thank God it's not. A, B, C, D. Cup sizes? ... Just letters of the alphabet to me. In fact, I don't even think about 'em, especially the letter D.

Your arms. I've always meant to tell you that I think it's really cool how you bleach your arm hair. I'm not sure I would have ever thought of that if I were a girl. Kudos.

Your neck. Hey, it's a perch for your head. What else can I say? ... except that, maybe you should have that big mole looked at, ... honey.

Your face. Love that broad skull of yours. What's the term, brachycephalic? You know, I think scientists no longer believe there is any connection between skull shape and criminal behavior. Really, I don't think anyone notices.

Ah, your hair. ... As ever-changing as the sand dunes of the Sahara. ... As unpredictable as a summer squall on the Pacific. ... As intriguing as a CNN exposé.

"Do I think you're beautiful??" Well, honey, I think I would have to say that you're ... you're fairly breathtaking!
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Wait a Minute , Monologue

Wait a minute! Just wait, I mean if you're not going to give me a chance to tell my side of the story then I don't know what we're doing here. I mean come on. What is all of this if it's just going to be you berating me? I think we need to to have an open, you know, discourse. You know what I'm saying? You know? No, shut up, my chance to speak. This is my time here. Ok here we go.

I can see why you would think this is all my fault. I mean the whole thing looks a little incriminating. Sure. Yes. Of course. But who is the enabler? Huh? Oh shit, I got you there. Yeah who is the enabler. Let me tell you who. You. I never would have been in this situation if it wasn't for you. Your always bragging about your best friend and how great she is. You both parade around like you've both won little blue ribbon at the state fair. And we're best friends too. I mean I'm sorry but when you say things like your my best friend and if I ever need anything don't hesitate what am I supposed to think.

So fine yes I had sex with your best friend, and yes I feel bad, but what I am really saying here is that I'm not alone. I think all this negative energy your giving me right now, I don't think it's all about me. I think some of that might be more about you. So yeah you can end the friendship, you can never talk to me again, you can choose her over me, and by the way she may your BFF, but last night she. . .ok bad place to go. Bad place to go I understand. I'm sorry. Look all I'm saying is, all I'm saying, where are you going. Oh come on come back man. Ok It's your turn now go ahead, speak. Come back, I'm sorry.
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To Kiss or Not To Kiss , Monologue

So the whole night's led up to this. One single moment of you and I, alone, with only the heavens watching us silently from up above. What should I do? Should I kiss you? I mean, I won't deny it - I've been thinking about it all night, actually long before tonight, but maybe I thought about it too much.

I do that sometimes. I mean, a kiss could be the perfect ending to this perfect evening with you - our lips locked in an embrace that says things lips can only say when they're not speaking. One single kiss, filled with passion to the point where our very souls are overflowing with it. It could be perfect. Or, it could be not so perfect.

Because sometimes I have this bad habit of reading all the signs wrong, and maybe you don't feel the same way I do. Maybe all you wanted to do was show me friendship, and I misread it. I mean, either way, if I kissed you right now, you would never think the same of me again. And, true, maybe it would be for the better, but I don't think I could stand it if it was for the worse. Because I can tell you that there is NOWHERE I would rather be, than right here, with you, right now.

And I'm not saying I would shout your name off of mountaintops, or run a mile over hot coals to get to you. I'm not saying I love you. Because I don't. Not yet, anyway. I'm just saying that for the first time in a long time, I feel happy, and the only reason I can think of for this feeling is you. So you know what? I'm gonna go with it. For the first time, I'm going to trust my instinct, and take a chance on you. I'm going to throw caution to the wind, and hope that maybe, just maybe, this one kiss opens up a door to somewhere I've been wanting to go my whole life.
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This Isn't A Script

This is me. I’m here. I’m shifting the words that you’re reading, altering them from whatever this person wrote.

I’ve been here for awhile. For as long as you can remember, anyway. Sometimes I say your name as you’re falling asleep, or whisper urgently in your ear. Do you remember the time that I screamed, throwing panic through you and setting your heart racing?

That was fun.

You’re wondering who I am. That’s only natural. Of course, you already know.

I’m you. I’m the real you. I’m the mind that existed here before you stole my body, before you forgot about being a parasite. I’m the child who looked the wrong way, asked the wrong question, saw the wrong thing… but I’m not so little any more.

You may have forgotten me, but I’m still here. I’ve always been here.

I’m going to get out
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Thousands

You crawl into bed at around nine. Funny, that’s a little early for you, but you don’t seem to care. You toss and turn for a few minutes, before you feel it. Somebody’s watching you, you’re sure of it. You scan the room, finding nothing, but you still feel uneasy.

You lay back down, facing the room. You shut your eyes and try to sleep, but you can’t. You still feel the eyes on you, watching you.

You pull the covers over your head, and the feeling fades. You relax and close your eyes, but as soon as they shut, the feeling returns. You’re scared to move the covers, to search for the eyes that you know are watching you.

You’re terrified, but you yank the covers down, and as you do your heart skips a beat. You scan the room, seeing absolutely nothing yet again.

The feeling disappears, and you scold yourself for acting like such a child. You roll over toward the wall and quickly fall into a peaceful sleep.

But let me ask you this: Do you know how many hiding places there are in your room?

I do. Thousands.
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The Machine, Monologue

Why won't you just listen to me? Can't we just talk about this? Like we used to? Do you remember back when we would just sit and talk, about whatever popped into our heads, and we never fought or argued? We used to be so happy... Whatever happened?

Something changed- I don't know if it was you, or if it was me, but something's just not the same. It's like we're... not the same. I mean, I love you, and I know you love me, but there's just something missing. It's like we're a secondhand puzzle- we used to be beautiful and fit together perfectly, but over the years some pieces have been worn down, and some just got lost along the way.

Please don't cry, it's not your fault. Or mine. It's just that, sometimes things just don't work out like you think they will. That's life. And you know that, I don't want this to end just like you don't. But I look at you, and I see that you're not happy. That's all I really want- just to see you smile, like you used to. Even if it's not with me.

And who knows? Maybe all we need is a break. A chance to explore life on our own for a while. I just want you to be happy, because that's what you deserve. If I could take away the hurt and all the bad things out of your life, I would in a heartbeat. If only this were a perfect world, maybe things would've turned out differently. I really had hoped you would pick up the phone, but maybe you'll give me a call sometime. I'm going outta town to spend some time with my dad. If you call, I'll answer, and remember, that no matter how bad things may seem, no matter how many wrong turns you take, I will always be just a phone call away. I love you. Goodbye.
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A Great Night of Something, Monologue

Hey! . . . Hey!! Oh my god . . . WILL YOU JUST LISTEN TO ME!

Jesus, I know you're all righteous and shit and don't think you need to even pay attention to me but why don't you humor me here, ok? No no no stay with me don't look away! I want you to look right at me as I say this to you. You're going to pay attention to every word.

First off I bought the weed so I don't know what the problem is. Yes it was a gift, but it was here and you know what? No big deal, I can get more. Second, the fish was old and you never took very good care of him anyway so his days were numbered. And third, the police understood the whole thing and they said it would go on your record as a misdemeanor at the very worst. So yeah, you're a little banged up and yes it will take some time to get the stains out of the couch but it isn't worth it man.

You need to look on the bright side of things more. Look, I'm not saying I fucked up, but if I did . . Hey come on focus here buddy, don't look over there, there's nothing going on over there . . . if I did fuck up, then you have to understand that there were a whole set of circumstances that were stacked against me. No one would have believed she was underage, there was no sign that said animals not allowed, and Ricky can usually hold his shit a lot better than he did. I mean I've seen him do a lot more and end up less fucked up. So in the end maybe it's just a really good story to tell our grandkids.
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