events

H %player0% and %player1% have not let the iniquities of evil men poison them. Together have they prayed to their god, and it is his light that now shines upon them. %gain%\% of their time is removed from their clocks.
E %player% is forsaken by %their% evil god. %duration% is added to %their% clock.
W Verily I say unto thee, the Heavens have burst forth and the blessed hand of God carried %player%
L Thereupon He stretched out His little finger among them and consumed %player% with fire, slowing the heathen
U The light of the gods shines down upon you!
C was bitten by Phant0m
C fell in love with Brawl3r
C bit nitemair's tongue during a close encounter, in the AR server room
C tried to steal mango's stella
C ate a poisonous mango
C lost their mind, then found it under jasonmaster's pillow
C died, temporarily.. kinky Tinky gave him mouth 2 mouth
C was caught in Zally's dildo draw
C EXPLODED, somewhat..Pictures on the AR forum
C got knifed in a dark alley, by Clownfused.. never paid his seedbox
C saw an episode of grey's anatomy, blame zally!!
C got turned INSIDE OUT, practically..he shouldnt have watched the shemale porn
C ate a very disagreeable mango, getting a terrible case of Influenza
C met up with
C has fallen ill with the black plague, he got from schaft
C was struck by a lightning bolt from Voyagers metal anus
C was attacked by a rabid Dev
C was attacked by a rabid Icarus
C was set on fire by a stoned phiend
C was decapitated, temporarily..who knew Tink could sew?
C was tipped by a jasonmaster's penis pump power cable
C was bucked from a Zally
C was bitten by External's pussy
C was sat on by a x0r, because he disrespected his encodes
C ate a plate of CratSock's muffins
C got harassed by n00bs for a look at moto's new nude pictures
C got lost in the drama that is IPT
C misplaced his AR nickserv password
C broke his seedbox
C lost his virginity but only in his dreams after watching a internal staff porn release
C walked face-first into a tree, after listening to normie complaining about his connection
C got infringed upon by a condesending normie winky face
G found a pair of Nikes, Tweakyth13f shouldnt have left out
G caught a unicorn named Canadianluv
G discovered a secret, underground passage direct to Tinks bedroom
G discovered a secret, underground passage direct to Zally's bedroom
G discovered caffeinated coffee, mixed with prescription drugs
G grew an extra 2 inches, 4 inches total of pure heaven
G was visited by a very pretty nymph, named myr
G found a download of moto and jason mud wrestling
G learned how to talk bullshit, be promoted to staff soon
G found an exploit in the AR's IRPG code
G tamed MtnVision
G found a one-time-use AR Sysop promotion
G bought a faster AR seedbox
G bribed the local IRPG administrator
G stopped using tv adverts to wank off, has AR porn now!
G invented something to do with Silver FUCKING nuggets
G gained a ratio boost
G got a kiss from fabAchIr
G had his clothes laundered by a passing fairy, namely Tinky
G was rejuvenated by drinking Jeb_Kerman spinal fluid
G was bitten by a radioactive maxx323
G hit it off with a drunk sorority chick named Jeb_Kerman, pictures on AR forum
G was accepted into AR staff after he showed proof of anal sex with buzz lightyear
Q2 225 415 280 460 lay waste to the Towers of donald trump, wherein lies the terrible sorceror Phant0m
Q1 locate the centuries-lost tomes of the grim prophet jasonmaster..99% porn related
Q2 400 475 480 380 explore and chart the dark lands of phiend's anus
Q1 locate the ancient writings of moto, prophet of the blind god Io, namely his last and hidden work, Time as Staff, thought to answer all of mankind's greater sexual wonders
Q2 290 65 325 270 slay the great and horrible troll mango
Q2 480 415 325 270 return the stolen relics of Alpharatio to the city of OVH, quieting the religious riot that has sprung up from their loss
Q2 70 315 325 270 guard the secret passage to nitemair's anus until the full moon has passed, and the evil returned to its resting place
Q2 50 350 325 270 destroy the bandits terrorizing the roads passing through the Great Tink mountains
Q1 locate and destroy the immensely powerful Eyeless Amulet of the evil sorceress, OCsmack the stoned one
Q2 167 458 325 270 rescue the beautiful Tink from the grasp of the beast mango
Q1 locate the herbs and brew the elixir to rid the realm of IPT
Q2 160 480 160 380 hunt down the over-abundance of Hoplites that are slaying the regions' cows
Q2 35 40 325 270 assassinate the general, Dick Head, of the invading army of IPT
Q2 235 125 430 60 setup a trade route through the mountains to the neighboring land of demonoid to have correspondence with their leader, yer da sells avon
Q2 155 155 325 270 live among and learn the ancient magick of the tribe of alpharato people, the Jow Botzi
Q2 70 125 170 100 kill the resurrected IPT zombies produced by the young wizard Zen
Q1 worship the sacred Cow until such time as she is kicked to death by AR staff
QI %players% have been chosen by the gods to %quest%.
QF %player%'s prudence and self-regard has brought the wrath of the gods upon the realm. All your great wickedness makes you as it were heavy with lead, and to tend downwards with great weight and pressure towards hell. Therefore have you drawn yourselves 15 steps closer to that gaping maw.
QS %players% have blessed the realm by completing their quest! 25% of their burden is eliminated.