darkmystycfyre Apr 25th, 2019 (edited) 108 Never
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- What do you call a pirate that skips class? Captain Hooky!
- How did Captain Hook died? Multiple stabbings. He got a bad case of an itchy rash.
- Why is pirating so addictive? They say once ye lose yer first hand, ye get hooked!
- How do pirates know that they are pirates? They think so, therefore they arrr.
- Why did the pirate go to college? To become an arrrrchitect!
- How do pirates communicate with each other? With an Aye phone.
- What happened when Bluebeard fell overboard in the Red Sea? He got marooned.
- What is regularly given to the sea around 8 am, if the digestion is right? The captain’s log.
- What do you get when you cross a parrot and a shark? A bird that will talk your head off.
- How did the pirate get his Jolly Roger so cheaply? He bought it on sail.
- Why don’t the Chinese make very good pirates? Because they’re not very strong in the ‘Arrrr!’ department.
- What’s the difference between a pirate and a strawberry farmer? The pirate buries his treasure, the farmer treasures his berries.
- What has 6 legs, 6 arms and 6 eyes? 6 pirates.
- Who was the first pirate? Noah, the builder of the Arrrrk.
- What does the pirate say when he steps on a Lego? Arrrrrrgh!!!
- What did the ocean say to the pirate? Nothing, it just waved.
- How did Capitan Hook die? He got distracted and wiped his butt with the wrong hand.
- In case his ship is sunk, every pirate carries a bar of soap with him at all times. You know, to wash him ashore.
- What’s the difference between a hungry pirate and a drunken pirate? One has a rumbling tummy, and the other’s a tumbling rummy.
- Why did the pirate cross the road? To reach the second hand shop.
- Dan: I know a pirate with a wooden leg called Joe. Frank: Really? I wonder what he called his hook.
- What does a Dyslexic Pirate Say? RRRRRRA!
- How does a pirate declutter his ship? By having a yarrrrd sale.
- Why are pirates bad at cards? It’s kind of hard to play when you’re sitting on the deck.
- What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
- What is pirates’ favorite choice of music? aRR n’ B.
- What kind of a ship is most feared by pirates? The Steady Relationship.
- Why don’t you usually see a pirate that is a smoker? Because they use the patch.
- How does a pirate get to the top of the building? By elevataaaarrrrr!
- Why do pirates make great lawyers? Because they have very good arrrrguments.
- What is a pirate’s favorite letter? P. because it would be an R, but it’s missing a leg.
- Why don’t pirate marriages last much? Because of all the arrrrguments.
- Wooden pegs and hooks are really expensive these days. They cost an arm and a leg.
- Why is it so hard for pirates to learn to read? Because they spend months and months at C.
- How can you tell a pirate has fallen for modern technology? It’s the iPatch that gives it away.
- How did the pirate become a boxing champion so fast? Nobody was ready to take on his right hook.
- What happened to the pirate when his wooden leg caught fire? He got burnt to the ground.
- What Did The Pirate Say When His Wooden Leg Got Stuck In The Freezer? Shiver me timbers!
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