The New Scenarios 3.5-5

NEW New Scenario 3.5: Laurence the Lady Killer.

“Do me a solid.”
Those four words have been the bane of your existence ever since you became friends with Laurence.
Laurence is an extremely helpful friend. Always willing to stick his neck out for you so long as he doesn’t get harmed, he’s one of the most situationally reliable guys around. This is exactly why he’s constantly able to guilt you into helping him out with those four little words. Sometimes it’s little things, like, “help drive me home from the doctors” or “help my shoot down deer for hunting season (they had it coming),” but what you most often despise, is when he asks you to try and find out about girls to see if they like him. He’s always considered you a ladies man, though you’ve always attracted the wrong women, and it was often unwarranted like with Hisamura the stalker. Today is one of those kinds of days, where he’s trying to rely on you to help get a girlfriend, but it’s in a little more of an indirect way.
He explains as you two walk to the destination, ‘Kogane no Kaki’. You’ve never heard of the place, but from the name, you can safely assume it’s a seafood shop.
“I’m so glad you’re going on this double date with me. I can’t stress that enough. I don’t know about your girl Satomi, but Janette is perfect! Smoking hot body; Legs that last for days; cute short red hair; all she wants is for me to not rape her, and we’ll be perfect!”
Why would something that direct even be said to begin with?
You two eventually arrive at Kogane no Kaki, a fairly sized and very classic restaurant, and after Laurence explains his reservation, he guides you to a table where you see who you can only assume is Janette, and your date Satomi, who is comparatively much shorter, and younger seeming, with short black hair and a very meek look in her face.
“Don’t try hitting on my girl, or I’ll shoot your brains out,” he says jokingly shoving your arm. “I’m so happy to see you dearie!”
She harshly replies back, “My name is Janette. Do not call me by some pet name as if I’m your property.”
“Ha-ha, sure thing.”
You should’ve never agreed to this date, as it’s one of the worse you’ve had since the last time Laurence set you with a kleptomaniac that stole the silverware and candles.
Satomi barely talks, but Janette mostly compensates, by telling you about her. She’s apparently a high introvert who was molested on a bus once as a kid, and grew to fear male commitment because of it. Janette, a hardcore feminist, apparently only agreed on this double date as a way to re-assimilate Satomi into working relationships. She doesn’t even seem to be interested in Laurence, but he’s too desperate to notice.
As the evening stretches on, Janette seems to go out of her way to try and “prove” her independence, and bash on men for the most ridiculous reasons. Her current monologue has been especially nerve wrecking.
“And I was just doing my morning walks, and this pervert who’s walking his dog with his wife and two kids looks at me and says, “How are you doing ma’am?” I could tell though, he was undressing me with his eyes while he was walking away. Disgusting pig of a man.”
She takes another chug from her bottle of sake.
You take your fourth glass of whisky as Satomi softly tells you, “I’m sorry I’m not as interesting as Janette, while stirring her noodles with her chopsticks.
Laurence takes notice of how much whisky you’ve had, and asks you with a slight concern “Are you okay, man? You usually don’t drink much.”
Janette breaks in, fairly drunk herself saying, “Don’t worry, Sperm Bank.” She sarcastically adds, “I thought you burly men loved to get drunk!” before taking a large chug of her bottle, and slamming it on the table. “Not like me though. I doubt you could hold your liquor as good. Ya look like the kind of guy who would blu...who would black out after a martini.”
Her eyes half close, as she demands, “More sake!”
Now, you’re not sure if it was the alcohol fueling you, or the fact that she was getting on your final nerves, but your fist begin to clench into a fist, drawing her attention.
“O-ho-ho-HO! I see that look in your face! You wanna fight?! You wanna take this outside?!”
Not wanting anymore of this garbage, you get up from the table, and begin to walk away.
“Laurence then yells for you to, “LOOK OUT!” as you turn around to a face full of wooden chair.
You then black out.
You later wake up, finding yourself in the brown couch of a living room you are unfamiliar with, with an ice pack on your head. In a chair by you, you see Janette, who’s apparently much more stable than earlier, and Satomi, who’s on her knees by your side.
Satomi, breaking her quiet tone tells you, “Thank goodness you’re awake! Are you okay?”
You give her a thumb up, still a little dazed after what happened.
“So uh, look dude,” says Janette. “I guess I’m kinda sorry for breaking that chair over your head. It was an emotionally charged moment. On the upside, Satomi got you to our apartment to make sure you were okay. She’s a good kid like that...so...I guess I should make it up to you or something. What do ya want? As if I have to ask. You probably expect something sexual, like ALL men do.” She sighs rolling her eyes. “I guess we /could/ have a three-way, but if you push your boundaries, I swear I’ll stab you.”
Satomi looks away, her face blushing embarrassingly. You then hear a flushing noise from a bathroom behind you, followed by the noise of hand washing, before eventually, a door is opened.
You then hear Laurence as he announces, “You have a beautiful bathroom Janette?”
You were wondering where Laurence went.

What do you say what do you do?

New Scenario 4: The Smoking Mirror.

This is where things got really, REALLY weird. Keep in mind that this wasn’t a planned series, and was mostly based off of table conversations. Let’s begin.

Every trip you would take with Chris to the Game Central would always lead you across a place known as “Kitsuen Mirā”. A clever play on the phrase, “Smoke and Mirrors”, this was a location where people would perform magic, and reenact legends and fables using special effects. It was shut down in 2006, after a man in an Oni costumed burned down the set on accident, and killed three people. It’s another one of those places that Chris said was supposedly “haunted”, and though you’d call him a filthy liar in the past, you’ve slowly loss a good amount of skepticism you’ve had in his words.
The reason this all drags back into your mind, is because of your distant, DISTANT cousin Renaldo. Last week, after he returned from his job making the holes in donuts, he found a pair of tickets to what else, the “Kitsuen Mirā”. He didn’t know the place like you, and figured "What the heck, I might as well see a free magic show." Seeing as your Renaldo's favorite cousin (for some reason), he gladly took you with him, but the whole thing seems strangely fishy.
There was no news of the theater being repaired, and you doubt they’d do some kind of underground showing, but, not wanting to seem like a paranoid wuss, you decided to go with him.
At 7:00, you are driven to the theater with him, and unsurprisingly, the entire place looks just as run down as it’s always been.
“This is going to be crazy exciting. I haven’t been here since I was a kid.”
Despite the appearance, Renaldo still goes to the door with you following from behind, and surprisingly, the door opens.  You can hear the faint roar of applause emanating from inside, so sure enough, something’s happening. Upon entering, your vision is slightly blurred from a thin blue fog that is surely a special effect for whatever is happening. A strange old man with a fox mask looks at you two and asks for the tickets. After presenting him the tickets, they burst into blue flames within his hand.
“Cool effect”, Renaldo tells him.
“Please take a seat," says the old man.
After entering the performance, you take note of the massive crowd that fills practically every chair in the theatre. It’s amazing how many are wearing masks.
As you walk down the steps in search for a seat, you take note of the person performing. It’s a lady; petite and young, wearing a fox mask, with a fake tail, and performing classic illusions. She’s currently doing that weird ring trick where they interconnect and separate at will, causing the audience to go nuts. You find a seat in the fourth row, near the center of the row, as she continues.
It’s a very retro performance, with all sorts of original tricks, like the dove coming out of the sleeve, separating her blue kimono wearing assistant, and shuffling her body in boxes, and even a teleportation trick where she appears at the back of the stage. The audience loves it, and you can admit she is pretty good. As they applaud her sawing her assistant in half, then sending swords through her body only to put her back together, she announces to the audience, “Thank you so very much for your enthusiasm. Now, we are going to begin a tale performance soon, but I will need a participant from the audience, for just one more trick.
Your cousin immediately yells out, "PICK ME, PICK ME!!!" waving his arm wildly for her attention. She looks at your cousin with a smile, and announces, “I choooooose...the handsome lad next to the yelling man." Suddenly a child in tanuki mask grabs your hand, despite you being many chairs deep in the audience, and pulls you to the stage. Before you know it, you’re stuffed into a red and white box, with the only audible sound being that of the magician. She tells the audience, "At the count of three, I will make this young man DISAPPEAR. OOONE,”
The audience joins in anticipation,
“Twoooo..."
Where’s the three? You get it; you probably just slide through a trap door without realizing. You push against the door smiling slightly, before encountering a very strange sight.
You find yourself in a mountainous location, nowhere near Spuria City, and there’s a young Asian girl in a school uniform, fighting off wolf like monsters with a katana. She looks at you confidently and announces, “It’s about time I got some help." Nearby, you find a short sword wedged between some rocks, but you decide to close, and reopen the door, to see if you were just hallucinating...Nope, this is real.
What do you say, what do you do?

New Scenario Informational Post: Welcome to Not-Europe
This isn’t a scenario. It’s an expository short story that gives insight on the events occurring before an actual scenario happens. Here's some information on where you're at.

After the terrible beasts were dealt with (however you decided) you ask the girl you met (who didn’t die) for some information on what is going on. This is what she tells you.
"Nice to meet you stranger, I'm Not-Mio Akiyama. I saw you show up in that weird box that fell out of the sky, that was...weird. You must not know much about Not-Europe, so you might want to follow me into town. It can get dangerous and you could get into some real trouble out here."
Why does that name sound so familiar?
With not many options under your belt, you decide to set off with Not-Mio. In this excruciatingly long walk down the mountain side, you two begin to chat. Apparently, Not-Mio was sent on a quest to try and get passion root for a potion a mage is trying to produce, which immediately made you question what she means by mages, and soon led to the realization, that Not-Europe is a land of magic, and monsters.
OF COURSE THIS HAPPENS TO YOU AND NOT YOUR COUSIN!
You also eventually explain the premise of your situation, which really gets Mio thinking about her life, and this world. She once heard that, “The goddess of this world built Not-Earth as a mirror of her loves and desires” but she’s not sure if that has anything to do with the situation. Based on her weeaboo eyes, the werewolves, and the cherry blossoms falling from pink clouds in the sky, that wouldn’t be too much of a stretch to believe. It’s not all blind spitballing though, as Not-Mio tells you that she can probably find a way to get you home, but she’d need some time. How convenient. After about an hour, you two reach the very dense and very small urban town of Not-Istanbul, where you are taken to black market about a mile in so she can sell her passion root to the grizzled, brown, eye patch wearing owner.
One bag of gold later the owner reminds her of an additional job she was supposed to do. Not-Mio was given the responsibility of retrieving a cursed gem from a beast that lives in an exceptionally large mansion. The only problem however is that this beast kills women on sight. She told the owner, "What do you expect me to do! I’m a girl, and I’ve got some research on other dimensions I need to do for my friend here." She points her arms at you in reference.
“Well, your friend seems to be male,” the owner says.
Slowly, and awkwardly, her head turns to you, and she tells you, “Could you maybe do me a liiitle favor?”

New Scenario 5: The Beautiful Beast.

You're either the noblest man in the world, or the dumbest, because for some reason, you actually decided to help Not-Mio with her mission. You’ve been given the task of obtaining a mystical red gem on a necklace from a deadly abomination of a monster that took over a mansion several decades ago. Apparently, this gem has very powerful magic that would be dangerous in the wrong hands, so naturally, it’s going to be sold in an auction that’s happening in a few days. Not-Mio would've retrieved it herself, but the monster is notorious for killing women. They (whoever “they” are) say however, that men are always spared from its wrath.
Armed with a fancy battle ax, and a protective leather vest that Not-Mio loaned you, you embarked on an epic 20 minute walk through a few streets with Not-Mio, until you find yourself at the destination, "Lover's Manor." Not-Mio gives you a reassuring pat on the back and tells you, “Don’t worry". This’ll be an in and out kind of job. Find the monster, gently pull of the necklace, and just walk on back. I’m at least 80% sure it won’t even hurt you...Oh, and if you actually CAN kill it, that’d be really appreciated.”
WHY COULDN’T THIS HAVE BEEN YOUR COUSIN?!
You slowly and almost mechanically walk to the door, before slowly creeping it open and sliding yourself in. The door then slams shut behind you, so you try to reopen it with no results. You then try to break open the window, but apparently, its axe proof, as your weapon bounces off of it. Looks like you're going to need to find a new way out. The entire place gives off an exceptionally dark and eerie tone, with the feeling that the monster is going to attack at any second. You slowly make it up the first floor, down a hall, and up a second, as the floor boards below you creek so loudly that it makes your skin tighten with every inch that you make. Mid-way into the third floor’s hall, you hear a growling noise from behind. You turn and see a large, black, snarling beast with nocturnal, glowing red eyes that practically blends with the dark environment. You swing your ax, and it immediately breaks upon its skin. It left a good mark into its scaly neck, but the wooden base just wasn’t good enough.
The creature then pounces you tearing clean through your leather vest as if it were tissue paper, and driving its claws deep into your stomach. It pins you down, snarling as it’s drooling snout hovers above you, and the only thought going through your mind, is how not to crap your pants. Just when you think it’s about to tear your face clean off, it suddenly stops, and begins to look deep into your eyes. It then speaks, with a voice so juxtaposingly feminine and young, that you almost think that this had swallowed a woman whole before this encounter. I\
"You're ...not female...*gasp*...YOU ARE A MAN!" The monster bites its teeth into the sleeve of your shirt, and begins dragging you off as you beg for your life. During this time, you’re also able to notice the lightly glowing purple gem that hangs under its neck, but you’re a bit too preoccupied fearing for your life to think about trying to pull it off. After about a minute, you’re thrown through a door, falling face first to the ground of what appears to be a bedroom. Large and very nicely set with a red color scheme, it looks so peaceful and lovely compared to the rest of the home, but it has a horrid scent of death and decay, that almost makes you want to vomit. As you get up, you turn to the beast, whose scaly body begins to shrink in considerable size. Its limbs soon become visible flesh, and its face and entire structure morphs, until eventually becoming that of a beautiful young woman, with black hair, and a black dress of scales.
She rises from all fours, and with a smile she tells you, "I haven’t seen a man in years.  "I shall write about this WONDERFUL day in my book later!"
As she's speaking, you can't help but notice her left arm still possesses claws, and a few visible scales. She then shyly giggles as her arm slowly becomes normal like the rest of her body. More importantly, you also notice the necklace you need, still sitting around her neck, plain as day, but +++she grabs the locket and puts it between her breast with her dress holding it in place.+++
She then walks to a nearby wine cabinet, and pulls out a fine bottle of ‘Muscat Bailey-A’ grape wine and a couple of wine glasses. During this brief moment she’s not looking at you, you try to make a mad dash out of the room, but before your legs even begin moving, she tells you, “I hope you appreciate my physique. I’ve chased many pitiful women to keep my legs as firm and shapely as they are.” You punk out like a little bitch, and back away to her bedside to take a seat. It’s then that you notice however, the corpse of a very old man, lying in the bed’s right side, which causes you to leap back in shock.
"Oh dear! I’m sorry that shocked you.”
She places the glasses on a table, before removing the dead man, who was dressed in a very nice shirt and pants, and throwing him to a closet as if he were weightless. Upon seeing him, you can’t detect any real injuries, and you come to the shocking conclusion, that he probably died of old age as opposed to anything. It ten comes together in your head why this monster is not known for “killing” men. Why didn’t anyone tell you this though!?
“I’ll add Not-Jacobo in the closet with the others.”
What does she mean, “others”?
The woman then grabs her wine, and sits on the bedside, patting the side next to her with her wine holding left hand, and beckons you to come join her. Like a bitch, you do.
“I hope you're a better conversation than the other men, because we’ll be spending A LOT of time together. My name is Not-Chrona by the way. How about you tell me a little about yourself?”
What do you say what do you do?