ADVENTURE Ch. 42 - We Killed and Ate a Shark

Ark ---------- Raynar Danakar ------ http://www.myth-weavers.com/sheetview.php?sheetid=399678
CommodoreJim - Drominus Hellcleave - http://www.myth-weavers.com/sheetview.php?sheetid=381991
Eltrotraw ---- Tombs the Gunman ---- http://www.myth-weavers.com/sheetview.php?sheetid=376543
Deathfish64 -- Pikkupstix ---------- http://www.myth-weavers.com/sheetview.php?sheetid=376612
Moonside ----- Charlotte Tesser ---- http://www.myth-weavers.com/sheetview.php?sheetid=377170
Skeleton ----- Freddie ------------- http://www.myth-weavers.com/sheetview.php?sheetid=381882
Skeleton ----- Warty Morty --------- http://www.myth-weavers.com/sheetview.php?sheetid=438457





* Now talking in #adventure
<Moonside> Heyo.
* CommodoreJim ([email protected]) has joined #adventure
<~flibbyjibbits> is that actually every person
<~flibbyjibbits> i forget
<~flibbyjibbits> looks about right
<Moonside> Seems so, yeah.
<CommodoreJim> well it depends on if Eltro is actually there or not
<CommodoreJim> can never tell with him, he's ~~mysterious~~
<~flibbyjibbits> scowlsby
<CommodoreJim> Bill Scowlsby
<CommodoreJim> Actually, maybe we should ping everyone to see if they live
<Skeleton> Yo
<CommodoreJim> Okay, then how about Deathfish64 Arkay Eltrotraw
<Arkay> ahoy
<Skeleton> I will be breaking for dinner soon but as always I'll try to keep it brief (at the least there's not really anything ridiculous to clean)
<Deathfish64> hi
<Deathfish64> I was playing arams
<~flibbyjibbits> did you won
<Eltrotraw> count me out actually
<Eltrotraw> i have 16 hours to figure this thing out
<Arkay> what thing
<~flibbyjibbits> take a guess
<Skeleton> A woman
<Skeleton> They're so complicated
<Skeleton> !
<Eltrotraw> unless you don't mind me having huge breaks in terms of activity I'd say no to playing this session
<~flibbyjibbits> the 8x8 rubik cube attached to the dirty bomb in his kitchen
<Arkay> oh
<~flibbyjibbits> so do you want us to go without you or just take another week off
<Deathfish64> uh oh
<Deathfish64> hmm
<Deathfish64> I'm fine either way I guess
<Skeleton> Time for eat
* flibbyjibbits changes topic to 'http://gyazo.com/bcf67863b88486528d33745b789c95c8 party's current location is the red dot.  not to scale'
<Eltrotraw> go without
<Eltrotraw> if i'm really necessary, have me npc
<Eltrotraw> not unless any of you know specifics on having as3 work with xml which works with php
<Deathfish64> tombs bot
<~flibbyjibbits> ok\
<Deathfish64> BEEP BOOP SCOWL
<~flibbyjibbits> good luck on getting your thing to work, really
<Deathfish64> Yes, good luck
<Arkay> yeah, good luck
<Arkay> with whatever it is you're doing
<Deathfish64> Do not allow us to distract you any longer
<~flibbyjibbits> well im gonna go to the bathroom while evryone else recalls what just happens and decides on a course of action
<~flibbyjibbits> you are still within the storm, but out of range of the part that makes geography unstable
<~flibbyjibbits> so its possible to actually decide wehre to go in a normal fashion, assuming someone is familiar enough with geography to have an idea where they are
<Moonside> I'll make a librarian check.
<Deathfish64> Pikkup doesn't know shit about geography and is also unconscious
<CommodoreJim> because he's dum
<Deathfish64> Ekans is from another plane and temporarily dead
<Deathfish64> I am at the mercy of everyone else's decision making skills
<Moonside> We'll do what we were going to do before.
<Deathfish64> That would be to keep following the river away from the bad shit going down
<Deathfish64> iirc
<Moonside> Yeah, pretty much.
<Arkay> away from bad shit is good
<CommodoreJim> yes very good
<~flibbyjibbits> so to nitom along the river or detouring south to thalu
<~flibbyjibbits> not to scale to about the same distance
<Moonside> I'd say Nitom, since it's closer to the border.
<CommodoreJim> Sounds good to me
<Arkay> I don't really have a preference, so Nitom
<Deathfish64> sure
<CommodoreJim> shut up pikkup you're ko'd you have no say in the matter
<Moonside> We follow the road.
<Deathfish64> I do not
<CommodoreJim> i bet you're dreaming about monsters or lame shit like that
<Deathfish64> Or having nightmares about the horrible pain he just experienced
<~flibbyjibbits> ok so i guess heading that direction well then
<~flibbyjibbits> http://gyazo.com/b253de43bd696643a6cab357397fa4bf    it may begin to dawn on your how long you were in the forest, considering it was midsummer when you went int
<CommodoreJim> holy fuck.
<~flibbyjibbits> but at least the sky is clearing up as you get away from the main of farim and closer to the nethu border
<CommodoreJim> well that's nice
<CommodoreJim> but holy fuck
<Deathfish64> yeah wow
<~flibbyjibbits> more rivers join together and the river gets larger, the ground feels a bit strange
<~flibbyjibbits> maybe like its vibrating a bit
<~flibbyjibbits> just a little bit
<~flibbyjibbits> the scale is way off in the map, nitom is along the river, about 3 days from the nethu border, and then the only safe corssing is then in sparona
<~flibbyjibbits> just putting that out there
<~flibbyjibbits> but first to nitom
<~flibbyjibbits> the forest thins out into a wide field of earthen walls and fortifications, as well as wooden spikes driven into the ground, facing towards the forest away from the town, but there isn't any motion along them
<~flibbyjibbits> theres a wide entrace, the gate propped open by an empty wagon, and beyond it some small buildings and farms, and then beyond that the town itself
<Deathfish64> How long does it take us to get here?
<~flibbyjibbits> idunno maybe like 2 and a half days
<~flibbyjibbits> pikkup wakes up after a few hours
<Deathfish64> okay
<Moonside> During all this time, I seem be to be deep in thought.
<~flibbyjibbits> so there could have been time to talk along the way if he wanted to vent about the stuff that happened and resummon ekans to make sure hes ok and the bad lady didnt hurt him
<Deathfish64> 2 and a half days is more than enough time to have been healed up, right?
<Deathfish64> because raynar
<~flibbyjibbits> definiterly
<Skeleton> Back
<CommodoreJim> spoilers: the bad lady hurt him
<Skeleton> "A real city"
<~flibbyjibbits> the town itself was pretty small until a few months ago when it became known that it was just outside of the borders of the moonstorm, leading both refugees and foreign actors who wanted to get in on the whole civil war thing to flock to there in droves, tossing up many large, shoddily consturcted buildings and springing up businesses that intended to make a quick profit off of the aforementioned
<~flibbyjibbits> two groups
<Deathfish64> And yeah pikkup would definitely check on ekans and heal him up with magics in that time
<Deathfish64> Ekans says dying sucks
<~flibbyjibbits> so it looks like the center of town is a normal small town and then the "outskirts" 2-3 times the radius looks like most of it was hacked together over a long weekend
<~flibbyjibbits> lot of sad looking elfs around moping about how they had to flee their homeland due to magical bullshit, smalltime merchants trying to sell whatever they can, and a bunch of people crowded around the dock
<~flibbyjibbits> or whatever its called
<~flibbyjibbits> when boats moor in a large river
<~flibbyjibbits> is it still a dock or a port idunno
<Skeleton> ("Dumb motherfuckers. Didn't they know they coulda just moved to Rakor like me? Dumbshits")
<Moonside> "Well, what now?"
<~flibbyjibbits> in the riverport or whatever the fuck its called
<Deathfish64> still just a port
<~flibbyjibbits> is a ship that due to the carved imagery was probably from the spire's shipyard. i mean its got order of the wheel flags and shit
<Deathfish64> "We should probably resupply.  I dunno how we didn't starve to death in the forest."
<Skeleton> "Magic."
<Moonside> ("the GM doesn't want to keep track of these things")
<Deathfish64> ("such conversations are forbidden")
<Deathfish64> "That stupid, shitty forest."
<Skeleton> ("So we can't talk about what we're gonna do when we level up, either?")
<Skeleton> ("Bummer")
<CommodoreJim> "Never want to go back there again. Goddamned insanity."
<Arkay> ("sure you can. just don't use the phrase "level up")
<~flibbyjibbits> due to the circumstances of the area, most merchants are overcharging on food by about double the listed price
<Moonside> "I should probably get some food for Socrates, too. He seems to be pretty hungry." Socrates meows in agreement.
<Moonside> "most" being the keyword here?
<CommodoreJim> Dayum
<~flibbyjibbits> 75-125% markup depending on what it is so average that out
<Skeleton> Speaking of, Moons: Suddenly Cat actually happened here
<Moonside> Oh?
<Skeleton> A tiny kitten just kinda appeared under my sister's car, yeah
<~flibbyjibbits> neat
<Moonside> Suddenly Cat is pretty much how I got my current cat too. She just showed up one day.
<Deathfish64> I never knew cats reproduced by spontaneous generation
<Skeleton> I know that's the whole thing I was just sayin
<~flibbyjibbits> nonmagic weaponry and armor is also marked up 50% but who needs any of that
<Skeleton> But anyway
<~flibbyjibbits> im just waiting for some water to heat before sitting down and typing important thiings
<~flibbyjibbits> oh remember how i mentioned the ground was shaking well it is now a bit more
<~flibbyjibbits> not like seriously but enough to be noticable
<~flibbyjibbits> like living by a highway
<Skeleton> This game needs to be adapted to a video game
<Skeleton> So that rumble can happen
<CommodoreJim> BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
<~flibbyjibbits> anyone have anything in particular to do here or look around for or what
<Deathfish64> "I wonder what could be causing the ground to shake like this.  Giant earthworms?"
<Moonside> I will attempt to find food that Socrates will eat.
<Moonside> And also food that we can eat that's not overpriced.
<Deathfish64> Pikkup will look for an inn with open rooms
<Skeleton> Even if it is overpriced
<Moonside> !roll 1 20 -2 diplomacy/gather information check
<bitdroid`> [Moonside - 1d20(-2)] <12> <14> <Total: 12>
<Skeleton> We haven't been anywhere civilized since... you guys, since before the Ghosts 'n Goblins chapter
<~flibbyjibbits> cheapest you can get is the low quality stuff from the fields that got messed up by some kinda weird thing that happened
<Arkay> I wouldn't mind paying more
<~flibbyjibbits> some cabbages, onions, little bit torn up
<Moonside> I figure that we also look like shit right now.
<Skeleton> I imagine everyone would give no shits about money and go for a restaurant, if one exists
<~flibbyjibbits> its at about regular price since i guess due to the thing that happened there the farmer is just trying to recoup some losses
<~flibbyjibbits> oh, restaurants, yes
<Skeleton> "Maybe theearth is shaking because the queen is stabbing things with rocks like a madman. Err woman"
<Moonside> I don't think he'll eat vegetables, so eh.
<CommodoreJim> You can't tell Drom looks like shit because he still looks like a robot
<~flibbyjibbits> because 45% of people here are wannabe advanturers or war profiteerers or people from moldath/nethu/rakor sent in to work on the farim war situation theres obviously plenty of establishments catering towards those groups, and since another 45% is refugees from farim theres probably a couple of  places that serve elfish cuisine whatever the fuck that is
<Moonside> And that 10%?
<Skeleton> Lobster.
<Moonside> The remaining 10% are lobster people.
<~flibbyjibbits> the people who lived there before the population sweel triggered by people figuring out it was the closest town to the moonstorm without actually being in it
<Moonside> Hmm.
<Skeleton> Case dismissed, bring in the dancin' lobstas
<~flibbyjibbits> you could probably find any given type of restaurant around other than fancy stuff
<~flibbyjibbits> any middle class or under type of place
<~flibbyjibbits> probably not any dwarven places in town
<Deathfish64> Where's the pizzeria
<CommodoreJim> Drom wants mexican food.
<Skeleton> Onion rings!
<Moonside> I want edible food.
<~flibbyjibbits> though a dwarven restaurant isnt that different from a bar so
<Deathfish64> As long as it isn't McDonald's
<Skeleton> Come on in to Tony's Pizzeria/Mexican Bar & Grill That Also Serves Onion Rings
<Moonside> That also has fish or something, since I'm guessing Socrates likes fish since he's a cat.
<Deathfish64> Because come on I bet they have one in town
<Deathfish64> McD's is everywhere
<Skeleton> Even in fantastic stories set in vaguely medieval time periods
<Arkay> McDrom's
<~flibbyjibbits> !roll 1 20
<bitdroid`> [flibbyjibbits - 1d20] <3> <Total: 3>
<Moonside> The food tastes like shit.
<~flibbyjibbits> you end up in front of a three story thrown together shack called the comestible falcon, down by the docks
<~flibbyjibbits> it contains a few people in order garb, some elfish fishers, dockworkers, and one or two people who look like they're from rakor
<Skeleton> !roll 1 20 Health inspection grade
<Deathfish64> That's a terrible name for a restaurant unless falcons are tastier than I think
<bitdroid`> [Skeleton - 1d20(Health)] <3> <3> <Total: 3>
<Skeleton> Uh-oh.
<Moonside> nope
<~flibbyjibbits> that sounds about right
<Moonside> I frown a little. Socrates meows, but I can't tell what he's trying to say.
<~flibbyjibbits> i imagine excess magic in the atmosphere would be like radiation or pollution on fish quality
<Skeleton> Magic confirmed for Plutonium
<Moonside> Magic causes mutations on fish?
<~flibbyjibbits> [there is also in town another one of those goddamn chain potion shops, with a tacked on kobold-themed chain restaurant]
<~flibbyjibbits> not normally but when youve got godlike swirls of it in the sky and things from other dimensions walking around theres probably some fallout and latent effect on the wildlife
<Moonside> I see.
<Deathfish64> Does it make the wildlife cooler?
<~flibbyjibbits> maybe
<~flibbyjibbits> ground shakes again as pikkup wonders that
<Skeleton> "How bad could it be?"
<~flibbyjibbits> so do you go into this FINE DINING ESTABLISHMENT
<Deathfish64> sure
<Skeleton> Oh dear.
<Arkay> sure, what's the worst that could happen
<Moonside> WHAT COULD HAPPEN
<Moonside> BESIDES FOOD POISONING
<CommodoreJim> My low con score will be the death of me here
<Skeleton> Detect Food Poisoning :[
<~flibbyjibbits> meals range between 4sp and a gold depending on perceived wuality
<CommodoreJim> I'll have taken a bunch of greivous chest wounds...and what kills me will be bad fish
<~flibbyjibbits> detect poison reveals dont get the chicken
<~flibbyjibbits> or any any drink that isnt water or alcohol
<Skeleton> I relay this info to the party
<Skeleton> Dr Poison sounds like a good soda
<~flibbyjibbits> the special today is a soup made from an entirely unidentifiable meat
<~flibbyjibbits> you have absolutely no idea what it is
<CommodoreJim> :<
<Moonside> It's probably not nice.
<Skeleton> Wow. Bitdroid you are fired from chauffering us
<CommodoreJim> can i get a sandwich
<~flibbyjibbits> sure
<Moonside> I'll get some fish for Socrates, and something edible and not-poisoned for myself.
<~flibbyjibbits> it resembles dark meat, like from a large land animal, but tastes like saltwater fish, if anyone tried it, that is
<~flibbyjibbits> !roll 1 20  how good does the meals taste, b'droid
<bitdroid`> [flibbyjibbits - 1d20(how)] <10> <10> <Total: 10>
<~flibbyjibbits> well thats decent i guess
<CommodoreJim> Well, could be worse.
<Skeleton> Surprisingly nonlethal!
<Moonside> !roll 1 20 does Socrates like the fish?
<bitdroid`> [Moonside - 1d20(does)] <6> <6> <Total: 6>
<Deathfish64> Pikkup ordered the special
<Skeleton> What a picky cat
<CommodoreJim> "Well, it's at least edible. In a sense."
<Moonside> He sort of doesn't but eats it anyway.
<~flibbyjibbits> they also have imported wine from the engu city of whatever the fuck its called i havent written that yet
<CommodoreJim> Also for some reason I'm imaging that Drom's eating through his helmet
<Skeleton> Freddie will have fish tacos because those exist.
<Deathfish64> "Strange stuff"
<CommodoreJim> Like he just clips the food through
<Moonside> They didn't make the necessary animation.
<Deathfish64> He should ask to have a food shoot installed in his next helmet
<Skeleton> Everyone just does a walk animation as the food vanishes
<Deathfish64> or maybe a funnel
<~flibbyjibbits> the table next to you is a bunch of rangers and sailors wearing order of nethu gear, they seem to be quite enjoying aforementioned wine, and all  eating plates of the mystery meat
<Moonside> How much was the stuff I just ordered, and how much is the wine?
<Deathfish64> I've still never added up all my gold
<CommodoreJim> how did I read that "order of nethu gay"
<Arkay> I'll just take some water and... sure, let's go for today's special
<Moonside> Sounds legit.
<Deathfish64> I have my starting gold and then all these +100 here and +400 there
<~flibbyjibbits> meal is 4-10 sp depending on how good you wanted to get, the wine runs 2 gold a bottle
<Moonside> I'll take the 10 one, so 20 sp. I'll also take a bottle of wine.
<Skeleton> Gee
<~flibbyjibbits> !roll 1 20
<bitdroid`> [flibbyjibbits - 1d20] <9> <Total: 9>
<Deathfish64> I'll just subtract 9 sp and call it a day
<Skeleton> Didn't know Pikkup was such a jew
<~flibbyjibbits> actually maybe that roll should have been per person with perception
<Skeleton> Guess he pikks up money and doesn't do anything with it!
<Skeleton> Ha! Ha! Ha!
<Deathfish64> What have I ever needed to spend money on?
<CommodoreJim> PIKKUP! PIKKUP! PIKKUP! PIKKUP! GODDAMMIT! GODDAMMIT! GODDAMMIT!
<Moonside> !roll 1 20 +14 perception
<bitdroid`> [Moonside - 1d20(+14)] <20> <6> <Total: 20>
<Deathfish64> I mean really
<~flibbyjibbits> he believes atmund was a good man, but not the savior
<~flibbyjibbits> hes a caster, they don't need anything at all
<Skeleton> Yeah same here prooty much
<Deathfish64> until I can afford magical items it isn't important
<~flibbyjibbits> lotte might have overheard some of the sailors talking about how the wine was supposed to stay on the boat because they were supposed to be delivering it to an estate on the southern island of the nation, but decided to just sell half of it here
<Arkay> pretty much the same here
<Moonside> Well, I shrug and get some wine anyway.
<Moonside> !roll 1 20 +3 fort save
<bitdroid`> [Moonside - 1d20(+3)] <7> <4> <Total: 7>
<Skeleton> !roll 1 20 +4
<bitdroid`> [Skeleton - 1d20(+4)] <11> <7> <Total: 11>
<Arkay> we're not really high rollers today, huh
<~flibbyjibbits> its not very strong but dc 12
<Moonside> I'm drunk again.
<Skeleton> Hah. Today. HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.
<~flibbyjibbits> maybe freddie is just off today because its been over a month since he last drank anything
<~flibbyjibbits> well i assume so atleast, he might've been knocken'em back the whole way to the shrine after he left rakor in the alt timeline
<~flibbyjibbits> leaving a trail of empty cans the entire journey
<CommodoreJim> Drom decides to partake of wine, because shit, he feels like he deserves it. !roll 1 20 +4
<Arkay> that means he should drink more
<CommodoreJim> whoops
<CommodoreJim> !roll 1 20 +4
<bitdroid`> [CommodoreJim - 1d20(+4)] <19> <15> <Total: 19>
<Skeleton> Drink dwarf moonshine erryday
<Deathfish64> Pikkup thinks getting drunk is dumb and has water
<Moonside> "Hey, Drom... it's been a while since we did it, huhh?"
<Arkay> high five pikkup
<CommodoreJim> Drom sputters. "Buhwhuhuh?"
<Skeleton> "Hahaha"
<Skeleton> "Hahahahahahhahahahha"
<~flibbyjibbits> the waiter calls pikkup lame and like he just got knocked out and gives him a free cup of some kinda shitty elven tea to go with it
<~flibbyjibbits> it isnt very good
<~flibbyjibbits> probably an awuired taste
<~flibbyjibbits> aquired
<~flibbyjibbits> probably brewed with regular leaves or something
<~flibbyjibbits> stupid elves
<Skeleton> omg
<CommodoreJim> hippie elves
<Deathfish64> pine needles I bet
<Skeleton> Can you make tea out of weed
<Skeleton> Wonder what that's like
<Deathfish64> probably
<~flibbyjibbits> probably
<Skeleton> I'm sure you could, why wouldn't you
<~flibbyjibbits> i know my roommate here complains a lot that cocaine tea is illegal and its a similar concept
<Skeleton> (I don't know anything about weed it's just funny to say"
<Skeleton> )
<~flibbyjibbits> anyways
<~flibbyjibbits> about halfway through the meal the shaking gets uncomfortable
<~flibbyjibbits> the ground shaking i mean
<Skeleton> "Who's shaking the table"
<Moonside> "well, if we end up stayin' here tonight, that'd be nice since soooo much shit has been happening these past few months and I'm just kinda tired of it..."
<Skeleton> "Fuggin stoppit"
<~flibbyjibbits> some people who arent drunk start to get concerned and leave the building as dust starts to come from the ceiling boards
<Deathfish64> "I wonder if there is a fault line here."
<Skeleton> "I wonder if... eh."
<Moonside> "Ah, the shit followed us here..."
<Skeleton> "I don't wonder nothin"
<CommodoreJim> "Hold that thought." Drom says to Lotte as he turns and notices people evaccuating the building
<CommodoreJim> "...This doesn't look promising."
<Deathfish64> "This building seems unstable.  Perhaps we should go now."
<Arkay> "Yeah, I'm out"
<Moonside> "Oh yeah, I guess, huh..."
<~flibbyjibbits> !roll 1 20
<bitdroid`> [flibbyjibbits - 1d20] <2> <Total: 2>
<Moonside> Is this a good thing?
<Skeleton> "MmmmmmmmmmmmmmMmmmmmmmmmmmmm"
<Deathfish64> "Wouldn't want to die in an earthquake after all that stupid forest shit."
<~flibbyjibbits> yeah the building is going down you should proabably hurry out
<Skeleton> Okay!
<Moonside> I quickly stumble out.
<Deathfish64> Run!
<CommodoreJim> I decide to help Lotte out, not wanting to risk her tripping and being CRUSHED TO DEATH.
<Arkay> and out I go
<Moonside> "Can't I get drunk in peace anymore?!"
<~flibbyjibbits> the building collapses pretty much just after you escape from it and the source of the rumbling bursts out of the ground
<~flibbyjibbits> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=psrbU0B8UfI  you are now fighting LANDSHARK
<Skeleton> "Well, the Curmudgeon Falcon didn't exactly go out with a bang did it. Think there were bones in my tacos."
<Deathfish64> oh
<Arkay> rad
<Skeleton> What are the stat penalties for drunkenness?
<Moonside> -1 to everything?
<CommodoreJim> Pikkup cums because the landshark is so cute.
<~flibbyjibbits> sure
<CommodoreJim> "Oh, goddammit. Can't even have a moment's rest, can I?" Drom growls frustratedly as he draws his axe
<Deathfish64> Pikkup is very excited to finally see something cool for the first time in months
<Deathfish64> "YES!  This is why I am here!"
<Moonside> !roll 1 20 +3 init "geez, apparently not..."
<bitdroid`> [Moonside - 1d20(+3)] <11> <8> <Total: 11>
<~flibbyjibbits> he just saw a dragon like 3 weeks ago
<Deathfish64> oh yeah
<Deathfish64> well, still 3 weeks
<Deathfish64> And then it presumably died which is lame
<Skeleton> A week without meeting a monster is a lifetime to Pikkup
<~flibbyjibbits> meanwhile freddies 15 years out
<CommodoreJim> !roll 1 20 +3
<bitdroid`> [CommodoreJim - 1d20(+3)] <10> <7> <Total: 10>
<CommodoreJim> fake and gay
<Deathfish64> !roll 1 20 +2
<bitdroid`> [Deathfish64 - 1d20(+2)] <18> <16> <Total: 18>
<Skeleton> !roll 1 20
<bitdroid`> [Skeleton - 1d20] <17> <Total: 17>
<Skeleton> Mach speed!
<Deathfish64> Er, I don't think I was walking around town with ekans out
<Deathfish64> so oh well
<~flibbyjibbits> !roll 1 20 +6
<bitdroid`> [flibbyjibbits - 1d20(+6)] <10> <4> <Total: 10>
<~flibbyjibbits> lucky
<Arkay> !roll 20 +2
<bitdroid`> [Arkay - 20d+2] <1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 2 1 1 1 2 1 1 2 1 1 2 2> <Total: 25>
<Arkay> er
<Moonside> Natural 25.
<Arkay> !roll 1 20 +2
<Skeleton> omg water u doing
<bitdroid`> [Arkay - 1d20(+2)] <6> <4> <Total: 6>
<Arkay> man
<Skeleton> omggggg
<CommodoreJim> good job arkay
* flibbyjibbits changes topic to 'http://gyazo.com/bcf67863b88486528d33745b789c95c8 initative order: pikkup freddie lotte landshark drome raynar'
<Deathfish64> I will attempt to summon a Monitor Lizard
<~flibbyjibbits> ok good for you
<CommodoreJim> drome :<
<Deathfish64> and yeah
<Deathfish64> freddie go
<Deathfish64> http://www.d20pfsrd.com/bestiary/monster-listings/animals/lizard/monitor-lizard/summoned-creature-giant-lizard leaving this here I guess
<Skeleton> While nobody's flanking it, I step forward so as not to hit anybody and fire off a Lightningbolt (do penalties happen to spell damage too or no)
<~flibbyjibbits> not that i know of
<Skeleton> !roll 6 6
<bitdroid`> [Skeleton - 6d6] <3 6 5 3 3 3> <Total: 23>
<~flibbyjibbits> it would make sense that they would since drunkennes would impair spellcasting, but freddie is a pro at drunkasting so
<Skeleton> "Lightnin'bolt, bitch!"
<~flibbyjibbits> he lightningbolts the landshark
<~flibbyjibbits> the landshark is lightningbolted
<Moonside> I Dimension Door to behind the shark.
<Moonside> "Telepoooort!"
<~flibbyjibbits> is that a witch spell or is it with the blinkshirt
<Moonside> It's a witch spell.
<~flibbyjibbits> k
<Moonside> So I can take no other actions. Drom, flank plz
<~flibbyjibbits> dimension door is such a neat spell damn
<Moonside> Too bad I can only use it 1/day.
<Deathfish64> I imagined lotte riftwalking
<CommodoreJim> everyone with their cool battlecries and then Drom is like '...Flank!'
<Skeleton> 'lightninbolt, bitch' is a battlecry
<Moonside> Also, since she's drunk and I watch Steins;Gate the other day, let's say that she did this pose while teleporting http://i.imgur.com/XkuzI.jpg
<Deathfish64> okay, christina
<Moonside> Maybe we'll be able to TIME TRAVEL soon
<~flibbyjibbits> oh right landsharks turn whoops
<~flibbyjibbits> it is attracted by the scent of the wine and so will first strike those who have been drinking it
<Moonside> Also, flib, how much does blinkshirt weight again?
<~flibbyjibbits> idunno say 8 pounds
<~flibbyjibbits> ill check after
<Deathfish64> I knew drinking would only lead to trouble
<Deathfish64> See
<Moonside> Oh, that's as much as my lamellar cuirass weights.
<~flibbyjibbits> since one of the drunk people just teleported over to it its gonna make a full attack on lotte
<~flibbyjibbits> !roll 3 20 +13/+12/+12
<bitdroid`> [flibbyjibbits - 3d20(+13/+12/+12)] <32 13 14> <19 1 2> <Total: 59>
<~flibbyjibbits> !roll 1 20 +13 critical?
<bitdroid`> [flibbyjibbits - 1d20(+13)] <25> <12> <Total: 25>
<Moonside> The first hits.
<Moonside> The second too, damn.
<Moonside> Wait, I mean, the first is a crit.
<~flibbyjibbits> so it critical bits her
<~flibbyjibbits> oh no
<~flibbyjibbits> !roll 4 8 +18
<bitdroid`> [flibbyjibbits - 4d8(+18)] <20 3 7 3> <2 3 7 3> <Total: 33>
<Moonside> Assuming that I'm at full HP, 17/50
<CommodoreJim> ow!
<Moonside> "Argh! Fuck!"
<~flibbyjibbits> the landshark savagely bites lotte
<Moonside> Medic!
<~flibbyjibbits> lucky neither of the claws hit
<CommodoreJim> ohshit
* Politoed ([email protected]) has joined #adventure
<Politoed> My computer and internet are like one ball each that also engage in the suckage of other balls
<Moonside> 4d8 is ridiculous damage dice, holy shit.
<Deathfish64> it was a crit
<CommodoreJim> Okay uh, I guess I move into position to flank the shark
<Moonside> It's still ridiculous.
<CommodoreJim> And I dunno, hit it with my axe.
<CommodoreJim> !roll 1 20 +9
<Deathfish64> but 2d8 +9 is still high, yes
<bitdroid`> [CommodoreJim - 1d20(+9)] <14> <5> <Total: 14>
<Moonside> But then again I can deal what, 5d6?
<CommodoreJim> bitdroid pls
<Moonside> Also Drom, you're flanking with me, so +2.
<CommodoreJim> Oh right.
<~flibbyjibbits> the blink shirt is 20 pounds, +3ac, no ac-
<Moonside> Oh whoops then yeah no.
* Skeleton ([email protected]) Quit (Ping timeout)
<Moonside> That's far heavier than I can carry.
<CommodoreJim> Should I reroll or just add two to that roll for 16
* Politoed is now known as Skeleton
<~flibbyjibbits> whatever you feel like
<CommodoreJim> what's this thing's ac
<~flibbyjibbits> high
<CommodoreJim> shit
<CommodoreJim> Okay will reroll that
<CommodoreJim> !roll 1 20 +11
<bitdroid`> [CommodoreJim - 1d20(+11)] <30> <19> <Total: 30>
<~flibbyjibbits> well then
<CommodoreJim> Hot dayum
<Skeleton> POW
<Moonside> Crit?
<Arkay> yay
<~flibbyjibbits> that manages to peirce the thick plating of the landshark
<~flibbyjibbits> axes are 20x3 so no
<~flibbyjibbits> swords are 19x2
<Moonside> Hm.
<CommodoreJim> !roll 1 12 +6
<bitdroid`> [CommodoreJim - 1d12(+6)] <10> <4> <Total: 10>
<CommodoreJim> :<
<CommodoreJim> bitdroid pls
<Arkay> nice going, drom
<~flibbyjibbits> hey dont feel bad bitroid gave landshark a 1 and 2 on its claw attacks
<Deathfish64> quick, raynar, do cool oracle shit
<Moonside> pills here
<Arkay> I'm guessing I can't hop on over to behind the landshark since Lotte had to teleport there
<Deathfish64> shoot oracle eyebeams
<Moonside> I didn't HAVE to, I just did that because it's cool and easier.
<~flibbyjibbits> http://i.imgur.com/s3pWH.jpg landshark
<Arkay> too bad I don't have any oracle eye beams
<CommodoreJim> quick someone use ice beam
<Deathfish64> Too bad I'm not level 7 enough to summon pterodactyls
<Skeleton> http://www.fanboys-online.com/comics/2012-08-03-Megaman%20Action%20Comix.jpg this is bitdroid
<Arkay> I'll just channel it since that'll heal more
<Arkay> !roll 3 6
<bitdroid`> [Arkay - 3d6] <6 4 3> <Total: 13>
<Arkay> and I shoot positive laser eye beams at lotte
<Moonside> 30/50
<Moonside> Now I can almost not die!
<Deathfish64> Pikkup's turn, monitor lizard appears next to drom
<Skeleton> Heal Vision!
<Skeleton> Haha!!!
<CommodoreJim> "wait where did you come from"
<Deathfish64> !roll 1 20 +9 (assuming flanking) monitor lizard uses bite on landshark
<bitdroid`> [Deathfish64 - 1d20(+9)] <10> <1> <Total: 10>
<Deathfish64> FUCK
<~flibbyjibbits> it dodges it
<~flibbyjibbits> like i mean that doesnt even get past the dex bonus
<~flibbyjibbits> which says a lot because this this is huge
<Deathfish64> rolling 1 will do that
<~flibbyjibbits> oh i didnt even see the 1, just the 10
<~flibbyjibbits> is raynar going to become omniknight in the future
<CommodoreJim> the monitor lizard hits itself so hard it unsummons itself
<~flibbyjibbits> HEALING SHOCK
<~flibbyjibbits> HEALING       AND        HARM
<~flibbyjibbits> also http://i.imgur.com/GfeYj.jpg
<Deathfish64> Anyway, I guess Pikkup himself will now start channeling to summon a swarm of spiders onto the landshark
<~flibbyjibbits> freddies turn again
<Skeleton> Freddie launches off another lightningbolt because he just doesn't care
<Skeleton> Sorry Drom
<Skeleton> !roll 6 6
<bitdroid`> [Skeleton - 6d6] <1 6 1 1 5 1> <Total: 15>
<Arkay> four ones what the fuck
<Skeleton> "Welcome to die! Lightningbooooooooooolt!"
<Deathfish64> buttdroid
<CommodoreJim> well shit.
<Moonside> Doesn't Drom roll reflex?
<CommodoreJim> yeah hold on
<Skeleton> Yep (get a 17!!)
<CommodoreJim> !roll 1 20 +4
<bitdroid`> [CommodoreJim - 1d20(+4)] <24> <20> <Total: 24>
<Moonside> Wow.
<Skeleton> (yay)
<CommodoreJim> Holy shit
<Skeleton> Critical avoidance
<Moonside> Drom proceeds to avoid every attack thrown at him ever.
<Arkay> while wearing a big suit of armor
<CommodoreJim> Drom fuckin' backflips over the lightning. It was the coolest thing you've seen and all the ladies swooned.
<Skeleton> STYLISH!
<Moonside> !roll 3 20 +6/+6/+4 Now I FULL ATTACK the thing. Sword/sword/hair.
<Deathfish64> and then he lands on a big lizard and falls on his ass
<bitdroid`> [Moonside - 3d20(+6/+6/+4)] <7 26 22> <1 20 18> <Total: 55>
<Skeleton> (it only halves damage though)
<Moonside> shit bitdroid
<Deathfish64> a 20
<Arkay> and a 1
<Deathfish64> but a 20!
<Arkay> :D
<Moonside> Ok hold on I need to calculate how many damage dice that is, if both 2 and 3 hit.
<CommodoreJim> I'm in full metal armor, of course some of it would zap to me. I still backflipped like a badiss, though.
<Arkay> drom the badiss
<Moonside> Did those two hit, flib?
<~flibbyjibbits> yes
<~flibbyjibbits> http://threewordphrase.com/whoa.gif  this is how drom dodged
<Moonside> !roll 1 4 +2 hair damage
<bitdroid`> [Moonside - 1d4(+2)] <5> <3> <Total: 5>
<Skeleton> And a 1
<Moonside> !roll 8 6 sword, sneak attacks and critical
<bitdroid`> [Moonside - 8d6(sword,)] <4 1 1 3 6 4 1 3> <4 1 1 3 6 4 1 3> <Total: 23>
<~flibbyjibbits> it is so
<~flibbyjibbits> landshark burrows into the ground
<~flibbyjibbits> end turn
<Moonside> Wait, I don't know if I get the free grapple check due to the hair hitting.
<~flibbyjibbits> due to the rumblings its safe to guess its not done yet
<Moonside> Since it's a big thing.
<Skeleton> Fuckin hell I am lagging hard
<~flibbyjibbits> can you make 32 cmd
<Moonside> Oh, no.
<Moonside> Nevermind.
<Moonside> Damn, I want to hairgrapple something.
<~flibbyjibbits> also as i was looking through to find that one i saw http://threewordphrase.com/tarot.htm again and thought of the whole plot element
<Moonside> Hm... I probably wouldn't be able to flank if I was flying around, huh?
<Moonside> Because I have Overland Flight.
<~flibbyjibbits> actually you dont have that or dimension door since those are 4th and 5th level spells
<~flibbyjibbits> i only thought to check a bit later so not retconning the DD use
<~flibbyjibbits> that was drunken magic
<~flibbyjibbits> but worth noting for the future that despite having a bonus spell of a level you can't actually use that until you get spells of that level normally
<Moonside> I actually remember checking last time and I do because of high INT or some shit, what I don't have is enough uses for them to actually be useful.
<Moonside> But oh well in that case.
<Moonside> Though that's not noted anywhere in the SRD that I checked.
<~flibbyjibbits> its probably somewhere but i can see why you wouldn't have known
<~flibbyjibbits> anyways
<~flibbyjibbits> dunno if drom wants to/is capable of anything or anyone other than raynar for that matter but the combat is still in progress despite the landshark being below you currently
<Skeleton> You're
<Skeleton> Drunk with power.
<Arkay> I can heal up Lotte a bit since she's at what, 30/50
<Moonside> Yeah.
<Arkay> is drom gonna do anything first
<CommodoreJim> I dunno, what could I do
<CommodoreJim> Lemme look through skills
<CommodoreJim> Hey
<CommodoreJim> Do I have to see the thing to use Challenge on it
<~flibbyjibbits> unrelated but i found a really nice generator for stores and shit
<~flibbyjibbits> yes
<CommodoreJim> damnt
<CommodoreJim> I can't just yell at the ground, then
<CommodoreJim> 'HEY GROUND, FIGHT ME.'
<Deathfish64> I just hope landshark isn't channeling epicenter down there
<~flibbyjibbits> http://www.mathemagician.net/DND/Town/Menu.php?Town_Name=Nitom&id=3  like idunno if you can use this link but it can like generate full menus for tavenrs
<Deathfish64> I see a menu
<~flibbyjibbits> amused by "dinner: eels"
<Deathfish64> eel is a delicacy
<Skeleton> charming as The Grinch
<CommodoreJim> Oh, right, I have Tactician, huh
<Deathfish64> anyway, I guess on pikkup's turn a swarm of spiders would appear at the place the shark was before it burrowed
<Deathfish64> and is like "lol what now"
<~flibbyjibbits> unless the spiders are in the dirt now
<Deathfish64> I don't think I can target it underground without knowing exactly where
<CommodoreJim> Eh whatever, I'll skip this turn since bleh
<~flibbyjibbits> so yeah just a coating of spiders on the ground
<Deathfish64> the spiders have tremorsense though
<~flibbyjibbits> the spiders are aware that it is moving then
<Deathfish64> I guess
<Deathfish64> too bad nobody speaks spider language
<Moonside> Also why are we the only ones fighting here? Where are the order guys?
<~flibbyjibbits> i dont think anyone who spoke spider would be a good person anyway
<~flibbyjibbits> some ran way some are just laying on the ground drunk, two are standing and watching
<Arkay> okay so I make my way over to Lotte and cast Cure Moderate Wounds
<~flibbyjibbits> theres sort of a big ring in a crowd of people who were watching
<Deathfish64> what assholes
<Arkay> !roll 2 8 +6
<bitdroid`> [Arkay - 2d8(+6)] <11 5> <5 5> <Total: 16>
<CommodoreJim> are there any ladies in the crowd swooning over Drom's sweet backflips
<Deathfish64> Aren't there supposed to be soldiers and wannabe adventurers here?
<~flibbyjibbits> anyone plan to do anything before landshark's next turn
<Moonside> 46/50
<~flibbyjibbits> there are yes
<~flibbyjibbits> but for some reason none are stepping forward
<CommodoreJim> or is the population of the city entirely wimpy babies
<Arkay> we're REAL HEROES
<Skeleton> (yay!)
<~flibbyjibbits> maybe they figure it went after you first so its your monster to fight? maybe they all drank too much? maybe theyre afraid of actual danger?
<Deathfish64> entire city is babies
<~flibbyjibbits> the two guys standing an watching don't look afraid
<Arkay> are they like
<CommodoreJim> do they look aroused? is this their fetish
<Deathfish64> is freddie able to do anything?
<Arkay> used to giant landsharks
<~flibbyjibbits> that is also a possibility
<Skeleton> Adventure Party makes Civilian look like butt, Order Warrior as tiny baby, and Elf Queen as Wiiiiimpy loooooserrrrrrrrrr
<~flibbyjibbits> remember how the mystery meat was a land animal that tasted like a water animal
<Arkay> oh
<Deathfish64> Can he cast earthquake to do double damage to enemies using dig?
<Skeleton> Freddie could cast a buff on someone but probably wouldn't think to do it
<Deathfish64> okay then I guess we're done here
<~flibbyjibbits> well then
<Deathfish64> "I bet something exciting is about to happen"
<Arkay> maybe we could just walk away
<Deathfish64> doubt it
<~flibbyjibbits> the ground shakes real bad and then it bursts from the ground, launching up into the air, doing a flip and
<~flibbyjibbits> !roll 1 20
<bitdroid`> [flibbyjibbits - 1d20] <6> <Total: 6>
<~flibbyjibbits> +17 makes the dc20 check
<Deathfish64> huh?
<~flibbyjibbits> it lands and makes 4 claw attacks spread between whos next to it
<Deathfish64> which is?
<~flibbyjibbits> well thats raynar lotte and drom
<Deathfish64> oh
<~flibbyjibbits> but raynar didnt drink so it doesnt care about him
<~flibbyjibbits> so 2 vs lotte and 2 vs drom
<Deathfish64> Did it land in the spider swarm?
<CommodoreJim> :<
<~flibbyjibbits> !roll 2 20 +12/+12 vs lott
<bitdroid`> [flibbyjibbits - 2d20(+12/+12)] <13 32> <1 20> <Total: 45>
<~flibbyjibbits> !roll 2 20 +12/+12 vs drom
<bitdroid`> [flibbyjibbits - 2d20(+12/+12)] <20 22> <8 10> <Total: 42>
<Moonside> no
<~flibbyjibbits> it landed in the spiders
<Moonside> stop
<Arkay> another 1 and 20 in the same rng
<CommodoreJim> No! I don't want that!
<~flibbyjibbits> !roll 1 20 12 confirm crit?
<bitdroid`> [flibbyjibbits - 1d20(12)] <6> <6> <Total: 18>
<Moonside> Lotte's AC is 16.
<~flibbyjibbits> ok then
<~flibbyjibbits> !roll 4 6 +12 crit claw on lot
<bitdroid`> [flibbyjibbits - 4d6(+12)] <14 2 1 2> <2 2 1 2> <Total: 19>
<~flibbyjibbits> hah those rolls
<Moonside> Yaaay.
<Moonside> 27/50
<~flibbyjibbits> how about drom did he get hit
<CommodoreJim> Oh uh sorry I wasn't payin attention
<CommodoreJim> AC 20
<~flibbyjibbits> so he got hit twice
<~flibbyjibbits> !roll 4 6 +12 2 claws
<bitdroid`> [flibbyjibbits - 4d6(+12)] <13 4 1 4> <1 4 1 4> <Total: 22>
<~flibbyjibbits> again
<CommodoreJim> great.
<~flibbyjibbits> droms turn though now
<~flibbyjibbits> after he just got slashed up by a breaching landshark
<CommodoreJim> !roll 1 20 +11 (We're still flanking in a sense right)
<bitdroid`> [CommodoreJim - 1d20(+11)] <28> <17> <Total: 28>
<~flibbyjibbits> i assume so
<~flibbyjibbits> that hits
<CommodoreJim> !roll 1 12 +6
<bitdroid`> [CommodoreJim - 1d12(+6)] <13> <7> <Total: 13>
<Deathfish64> okay
<CommodoreJim> Slowly hacking away at the shark.
<CommodoreJim> Also I'm like, 23/52 when it comes to hp. Ow.
<~flibbyjibbits> raynars turn
<Arkay> okay
<Arkay> time to healbot
<CommodoreJim> yespls
<Arkay> !roll 3 6 channeling
<bitdroid`> [Arkay - 3d6(channeling)] <1 2 4> <1 2 4> <Total: 7>
<Deathfish64> BEEP BOOP FUCK THE DAMAGE
<Arkay> bit
<Arkay> please
<CommodoreJim> bitdroid.................
<Moonside> 34/50
<CommodoreJim> 30/52
<Deathfish64> Okay first, on Pikkup's turn, the monitor lizard attempts to redeem itself
<~flibbyjibbits> PURIFICATION
<Deathfish64> !roll 1 20 +9 biting
<bitdroid`> [Deathfish64 - 1d20(+9)] <21> <12> <Total: 21>
<~flibbyjibbits> the monitor lizard gets its teeth stuck on the things hide
<~flibbyjibbits> i mean it doesnt hit
<Deathfish64> well, it's not a 1
<~flibbyjibbits> well it HITS but i mean it doesnt get through the natural armor
<Deathfish64> And then coin-sized spiders start crawling all over the shark
<~flibbyjibbits> now what about the spider swarm
<Deathfish64> roll 1 6 swarms just do damage to living things on their space
<Deathfish64> !roll 1 6
<bitdroid`> [Deathfish64 - 1d6] <6> <Total: 6>
<Deathfish64> then it makes two dc 11 fort saves
<Deathfish64> One against poison, the other against distraction
<~flibbyjibbits> !roll 2 20 +11/+11
<bitdroid`> [flibbyjibbits - 2d20(+11/+11)] <26 23> <15 12> <Total: 49>
<~flibbyjibbits> well
<Deathfish64> welp
<Deathfish64> it takes 6 damage at any rate
<Deathfish64> Pikkup continues channeling spiderlings
<Deathfish64> freddie go
<Deathfish64> That's how it works right?
<Deathfish64> http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/all-spells/s/summon-swarm or am I doing it wrong
<Skeleton> "Uhhh LIGHTNINGBOLT" who's close to it but can take a hit
<Skeleton> !roll 6 6
<bitdroid`> [Skeleton - 6d6] <5 5 4 3 2 1> <Total: 20>
<CommodoreJim> I don't think anyone can really take a hit :i
<~flibbyjibbits> the thing is dead
<Moonside> They remain as long as you concentrate + two rounds, yes.
<Moonside> Oh well.
<Arkay> yay freddie
<CommodoreJim> yay
<Deathfish64> monitor lizard can tank the hit
<Deathfish64> it poofs away but who cares now
<Skeleton> DIE, MONITOR LIZARD
<Deathfish64> spiders probably fried too
<Skeleton> WE'LL MONITOR YOUR GRAVE
<Deathfish64> "Well, that was a good experience"
<CommodoreJim> Drom sighs and leans on his axe. "Well, at least it's never boring being us."
<Deathfish64> brb bathroom
<Moonside> "I wish it were boring. Shit."
<~flibbyjibbits> the crowd mostly disperses except for the guy who owned the restaurant who is just standing there all sad and shit and those two guys who were watching
<CommodoreJim> "Maybe we can have a boring rest of the day."
<Skeleton> "That was great"
<~flibbyjibbits> theres also maybe a few people loitering about hoping to butcherize the thing
<Moonside> I look over to the other people watching who could've helped. "So, why didn't you guys help, huh?"
<Skeleton> "My favorite part was when I shot a lightningbolt"
<Deathfish64> "Can I  take a tooth as a souvenir?  I want to remember this.  It also would make good reference material for my encyclopedia."
<~flibbyjibbits> nobody is stopping you, though some people have started trying to lift it onto a wagon
<Skeleton> Why
<Skeleton> Who
<CommodoreJim> they want to eat it
<Deathfish64> Pikkup goes and tries to knock a tooth off with the mace that he has been carrying this whole adventure and never uses
<Deathfish64> !roll 1 20
<bitdroid`> [Deathfish64 - 1d20] <10> <Total: 10>
<~flibbyjibbits> try again
<Deathfish64> !roll 1 20
<bitdroid`> [Deathfish64 - 1d20] <4> <Total: 4>
<Deathfish64> third time's the charm
<Deathfish64> !roll 1 20
<bitdroid`> [Deathfish64 - 1d20] <18> <Total: 18>
<Moonside> Yep.
<~flibbyjibbits> the giant tooth breaks off
<Deathfish64> I'll store it in my pack
<Deathfish64> But maybe later I can find someone to make a necklace from it
<~flibbyjibbits> http://i.imgur.com/s3pWH.jpg based on the image its a pretty big tooth
<Deathfish64> It would make a suitably badass necklace
<~flibbyjibbits> it would
<~flibbyjibbits> of those two guys who had been standing there watching you, well i mean a lot of people were watching, but the two that didn't disperse, one goes back to the boat and the other walks forward
<Skeleton> 'I got this from a great battle with a spectacular monster! But my friends did most of the killing of it, so"
<Deathfish64> I did 6 damage
<Deathfish64> kill secured
<Deathfish64> (nobody think about how freddie did the most this fight)
<~flibbyjibbits> pikkups idea of a good time: hundreds of spiders
<Deathfish64> I bet that spell is a riot at parties
<Deathfish64> Pikkup will get all of the ladies
<Moonside> We're yet to cast Mad Monkeys.
<Deathfish64> It also does rats and bats
<CommodoreJim> So what do we do now
<Deathfish64> But should I get Mad Monkeys or Rain of Frogs?
<~flibbyjibbits> maybe talk to the order ranger whos standing awkwardly a few feet awat from the group
<Deathfish64> Those people lifting the landshark onto a wagon should pay us or something
<Arkay> "Hey man, you seemed to enjoy our fight back there," I tell the ranger. "Any reason you didn't want to lend a hand?"
<Moonside> Wait, Raynar does something???
<Deathfish64> Holy shit!
<Arkay> shock and awe, yes
<CommodoreJim> 'you can talk???'
<Arkay> yes ;-;
<~flibbyjibbits> "Way things tend to go around here is people like to watch and see whos good and who isn't.  Never give any help not asked for unless they're dieing."
<Moonside> "Why does everywhere that we go, there's only stupid people and assholes?! I didn't sign up for this shit!"
<CommodoreJim> "Lovely."
<Arkay> "Okay, so we're obviously pretty good considering how well we handled that shark. What now?"
<Deathfish64> "That shark wasn't so bad, though.  We've handled worse I think."
<Skeleton> "That shark was a joke"
<Skeleton> "But not a very good one. I'm not laughing"
<~flibbyjibbits> he walks forward, drawing another bottle of the wine out of his coat, holds it towards lotte, "Well, I was just wondering about who you folks were, I mean, usually only runaways and returning soldiers come from that direction that you did. "
<Moonside> I take the bottle. "We got lost. For months. Fuck! I hate this place." I drink from the bottle.
<~flibbyjibbits> his accent is a little odd, if it matters
<~flibbyjibbits> not from anywhere youve been to before
<Skeleton> "Lotte haven'tcha had enough of the sauce"
<CommodoreJim> freddie stop bein' jealous
<Skeleton> omg just because he cares about his friends
<Deathfish64> "Do we even have any sort of job or title for what we do?  Adventurers, inspectors, archaeologists, wandering monster hunters?"
<Skeleton> "HEROES"
<Skeleton> "I have been saying this since forever"
<Moonside> ("player characters")
<~flibbyjibbits> 14 years in the alt future freddie sat in bars at 2 am telling people he was a hero once
<~flibbyjibbits> actually no that makes me sad nevermind
<Arkay> people with horrible luck
<Moonside> No one believed him.
<Deathfish64> Inspector Pikkup
<Deathfish64> Go, go, Pikkup Swarm of Spiders!
<Moonside> Inspector and Archeologist are both names of classes, so we can't be those.
<CommodoreJim> Wandering Badasses
<Deathfish64> fake and gay
<Skeleton> Delinquents
<Moonside> Persons.
<Deathfish64> lucky idiots
<Deathfish64> traveling action-sitcom
<~flibbyjibbits> "Different people call the profession different things.  Sometimes we call them 'assets,' had a team heading out into the woods to retrieve one such asset, but they've not reported back yet.  Not asking you to go look for em or anything.  " he puts his hands in the pockets of the dark blue dyed leather coat he wears, "Say, now, if you've been out in the storm for a few weeks, probably...
<~flibbyjibbits> ...looking to get somewhere nice to stay.  Tell you what, we're shipping out in a few days, but can help you get some nicer accomodations until then, if you'd want to come with when we leave."
<Moonside> I drink some more. "Oh, yeah that'd be nice. We've been wantin' to get outta here for a while now."
<Skeleton> "Lotte no don't make decisions, not now"
<Moonside> I finish drinking and throw the bottle at Freddie.
<Moonside> But I miss horribly since I'm so drunk.
<Deathfish64> "I don't think it sounds like a bad idea, though."
<Arkay> "Hey, it's one that I can get behind."
<Skeleton> "Whoa."
<Moonside> "Shush, ya."
<Skeleton> "Okay sure you tell me what to do I dunno what's goin on..."
<CommodoreJim> "I suppose it's as good a plan as any."
<~flibbyjibbits> "Alright then, head down to the center of the old town, former library been converted into a cushy place, "he tosses in the general direction of Raynar a little scrap of leather with some inctricate symbol on it, "I'd prepaid a couple dozen rooms for my sailors, show this to the clerk and he'll get you your keys."
<~flibbyjibbits> "I'll send someone over in the morning to talk about the arrangement."
<~flibbyjibbits> also did that last sentence sound right
<CommodoreJim> cushy sounds nice
<~flibbyjibbits> i had to type it like 8 times
<~flibbyjibbits> and still it doesnt seem right
<Moonside> It sounds good, yes.
<~flibbyjibbits> did i atleast get the right point across and we can attribute any weirdness to his accent or something
<Deathfish64> yes
<Arkay> "Thanks man."
<~flibbyjibbits> he starts walking away, says something to one of the guys loading the landshark onto the cart, then dissapears into the crowd in the direction of the big boat
<Moonside> "Oh... library sounds good, yes. Let's go, guys."
<Deathfish64> "Former library"
<Skeleton> "Did they burn all the books"
<Skeleton> "In a fire"
<Skeleton> "Of anti-book"
<Skeleton> "Is that what happened"
<CommodoreJim> Drom lightly bops Freddie on the head. "Quit it."
<Moonside> "Yeah, unless ya wanna explode again."
<Skeleton> "???"
<CommodoreJim> "Well, shall we be off?"
<CommodoreJim> "I could use a real bed."
<Moonside> "Oh..." I look a little sad. "Aren't we gonna do it, Drom?"
<Deathfish64> "Let's go"
<Skeleton> "Hahaha"
<Moonside> "Freddie, I'll kill you."
<Arkay> "Way to be subtle... although I guess a having few drinks tends to do that."
<Skeleton> "What did I do now, sheesh!"
<Skeleton> "Calm down!!"
<CommodoreJim> Drom sputters again. "I...buh...uh...I...never said we weren't...?"
<Skeleton> Freddie stifles a snicker
<Skeleton> !roll 1 20 stifle check
<bitdroid`> [Skeleton - 1d20(stifle)] <14> <14> <Total: 14>
<Moonside> !roll 1 20 +13 perception
<bitdroid`> [Moonside - 1d20(+13)] <14> <1> <Total: 14>
<Skeleton> Uh-oh
<Moonside> Wow, so I dunno.
<Moonside> Assuming that that's hearable, instead of saying anything my hair just starts threatening Freddie.
<~flibbyjibbits> so assuming youre heading down that way
<CommodoreJim> Yes.
<~flibbyjibbits> the middle of town is a bit nicer, looking more like, well, a small town, since the buildings took more than 3 days to build
<~flibbyjibbits> theres a nice little town green with some children playing on it, the old library is easily identifiable since there is a sign denoting it as such above the doorway
<~flibbyjibbits> its a nice little 3 story wood and brick structure
<~flibbyjibbits> theres also a little stable nearby, though it clearly was built recently and hastily when they converted the library to an inn
<Skeleton> "Is it me or does it look like they built this whole town just in time for us to get here"
<~flibbyjibbits> most of it was thrown up within the last 3 months
<Deathfish64> Well, let's go inside
<~flibbyjibbits> it was probably a pretty nice library before, but at least in the foyer, most of the shelving has been removed to make space for desks
<Moonside> "...meh."
<CommodoreJim> Yay a stable
* CommodoreJim deposits Melange
<Skeleton> Your bank account shows a balance of: one melange
<~flibbyjibbits> while it was previously an open floorplan, thiin wooden, or in some places paper, walls have been put up to partition it into rooms
<~flibbyjibbits> theres a couple people milling bout, talking a bit, but obviously one main desk
<CommodoreJim> well i guess since raynar has the thing he should get us our rooms
<Arkay> oh right
<CommodoreJim> he slides over to the desk, since he still doesn't have animations
<Arkay> omg
<Arkay> but yes, I slide on over to the desk
<~flibbyjibbits> the elf sitting there sees the leather scrap, reads the symbol, hands a key, "Second floor,  historical section G-L, its right next to the staircase. "
<~flibbyjibbits> i guess on the second floor the original library itself had already seperated the sections out into rooms so the door would say that already
<Arkay> well that was easy
<Moonside> Before going, I ask this elf person "ey... what did you guys do to all the books?"
<~flibbyjibbits> "Some rooms we had to move them to the basement, some are still there if the shelf was against an already existant wall."
<Moonside> "oh, ok."
<CommodoreJim> yay the books live
<Skeleton> "Lucky for you that you didn't burn 'em" mutters Freddie
<Moonside> !roll 1 20 +8 grapple check with hair on Freddie
<bitdroid`> [Moonside - 1d20(+8)] <17> <9> <Total: 17>
<Skeleton> !roll 1 20 +1 reflex if he can
<bitdroid`> [Skeleton - 1d20(+1)] <11> <10> <Total: 11>
<CommodoreJim> "Lotte no"
<Moonside> I don't think that's how grappling works.
<~flibbyjibbits> brb
<Moonside> But grappling is sort of complicated anyway.
<Moonside> Anyway, what's Freddie's CMD?
<Skeleton> +1 currently
<Moonside> CMD, not CMB.
<Skeleton> Oh hurr
<Skeleton> 11
<Moonside> Then Lotte grabs him, yes.
<CommodoreJim> "Lotte, let Freddie go. Or else."
<Skeleton> "Whaaaaaaaa"
<Arkay> Lotte's hair x Freddie OTP
<Moonside> "..." I let him go, reluctantly. I also pout a little. "Tell him to stop, then..."
<~flibbyjibbits> k
<CommodoreJim> "Freddie, do try to play nice, alright? Especially if you fancy living."
<Skeleton> "What did I do"
<CommodoreJim> Drom gives Freddie a look that says 'Just apologize, man'
<Skeleton> how
<Deathfish64> imagination
<Deathfish64> and helmet magic
<CommodoreJim> well it's more like his eyes flashed brighter and freddie has to guess
<Skeleton> Drunk Freddie will never apologize but he does back off
<CommodoreJim> alternatively, Drom carries a washable marker around and draws expressions on his helmet
<~flibbyjibbits> the room itself is quite well furnished.  the back walls are mostly bookshelf, aside from the windor and door to the balcony, the furniture is pretty nice, 6 beds, nice table and chairs.  in the corner theres a couple of paper wall partitions that can be moved around and partitioned to split it up however. in the center is a wheeled pedestal with a book on it "history of this building"
<Skeleton> The book that only makes sense if read in a particular location
<Moonside> I take the book and try to read it, but I'm too drunk to be able to figure out what's written in any of the pages.
<CommodoreJim> maybe you shouldn't have tried to down an entire bottle of wine
<Deathfish64> Pikkup goes to the shelf to see if they have any books on monsters
<CommodoreJim> Well, not tried
<CommodoreJim> since you succeeded
<~flibbyjibbits> this is the history section g-l
<~flibbyjibbits> by author name
<Deathfish64> History of monsters
<Skeleton> From what I gather, there is no 'stopping before you've had too much' in this world. You drink the whole bottle and hope the dice are good to you
<~flibbyjibbits> i was under the impression it was rolled per serving
<CommodoreJim> from what I gather, we're just drunkards
<Moonside> I drank two bottles, actually. The one I paid for, and the one the guy gave me.
<Deathfish64> and then lotte died of alcohol poisoning
<CommodoreJim> well i guess lotte is too drunk to sex
<Moonside> You'll remember that she was about this drunk the first time she had sex with Drom.
<Moonside> Or possibly even more, since it was dwarven stuff then.
<CommodoreJim> Right, right
<~flibbyjibbits> it depends on if you consider tengus to brew harder stuff than dwarfs
<~flibbyjibbits> probably not though
<Moonside> Logic says that dwarves brew the hardest stuff.
<~flibbyjibbits> yeah probably
<Moonside> If tengu are good at making something, I think that'd be swords.
<Deathfish64> The only drink harder than dwarf brews is a Pan-galactic Gargle Blaster
<CommodoreJim> Drom is unsure about the idea of sleeping with Lotte, though, due to the fact that the walls are paper partitions.
<Skeleton> Tengu like the head-on-a-spinal-cord guys with flutes from EarthBound?
<~flibbyjibbits> no like the crowpeople
<Deathfish64> Don't worry, drom, I'll only summon a swarm of spiders on you
<Skeleton> okay
<Deathfish64> and then levitate both of you
<Moonside> Lotte lies down on one of the corner beds and takes her glasses off.
<Deathfish64> make lotte invisible as you try to put it in
<~flibbyjibbits> id guess its what midafternoon now
<~flibbyjibbits> also cast enlarge person on lotte so nobody has fun
<CommodoreJim> i'm gonna tell dhampire chick about pikkup's spider fetish
<Skeleton> Got 99 problems and a giant witch ain't one
<~flibbyjibbits> brb
<~flibbyjibbits> dota 6.75 changelog
<Skeleton> damnpires
<~flibbyjibbits> omg
<CommodoreJim> Drom nonchalantly examines the thickness of the partitions
<~flibbyjibbits> >ALCHEMIST BUFFED
<CommodoreJim> woahwhat
<Deathfish64> How much?
<~flibbyjibbits> his stun is aoe now
<Deathfish64> omg
<~flibbyjibbits> his skills damages were increased and manacosts decreased
<Deathfish64> omg
<~flibbyjibbits> Anti-Mage
<~flibbyjibbits> - Movement speed decreased from 320 to 315
<~flibbyjibbits> - Blink animation time increased from 0.33 to 0.4
<~flibbyjibbits> - Legs decreased from 2/2/2/2 to 1/1.5/1.8/1.9
<~flibbyjibbits> is that a stratman bruno ref
<Deathfish64> But isn't the goal to have less legs?
<~flibbyjibbits> no
<~flibbyjibbits> look the op team comp is no lega, naga, enigma, morphling, venomancer, and then lina flies so she doesn't count
<Deathfish64> yes
<~flibbyjibbits> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ktBGdMWi-w     < here is the joke
<Deathfish64> So what is with this 1.9 legs
<CommodoreJim> man, he got a leg buff
<Deathfish64> Why would you even level up legs now
<Deathfish64> it gets worse
<~flibbyjibbits> doombringer buffed
<Deathfish64> yay
<~flibbyjibbits> the level death bonus is now 20% of max instead of a flat amount and the level restrict on devour is gone
<~flibbyjibbits> clockwerk buffed in slight numerical ways
<Deathfish64> okay
<~flibbyjibbits> faceless void is now unaffected by rubick stolen cronospheres
<Deathfish64> That's stupid
<~flibbyjibbits> darky will be happy, jakiro got huge buffed
<~flibbyjibbits> ooh, juggernaut got a bat reduction, and omnislash now instakills creeps
<Deathfish64> nice
<Deathfish64> It should instakill rosh
<~flibbyjibbits> "hey lycan got nerf- oh" mana cost increase on wolves, wolves lose a little bit of hp but gain magic resist
<Deathfish64> wat
<CommodoreJim> is there a bar in the cushy hotel because we totally need more alcohol
<Deathfish64> icefraud in charge of balancing again
<Deathfish64> no, drom
<Deathfish64> no
<Deathfish64> lotte will vomit excessively and then die
<~flibbyjibbits> holy shit
<~flibbyjibbits> >phantom lancer agi gain increased to 4.2
<Deathfish64> whoa
<~flibbyjibbits> ok sorry ill go over this later
<~flibbyjibbits> for now uh
<~flibbyjibbits> in about an hour you get a knock on your door
<CommodoreJim> Drom puts down "Helmets of the Ages" and answers it
<Moonside> Lotte is probably asleep, if nothing happened.
<CommodoreJim> Nothin' happened because paper thin walls and with everyone really close by. Especially Drunk Freddie, the Douche King
<Skeleton> He's not even as bad as before
<CommodoreJim> Still!
<~flibbyjibbits> Theres a guy there in a butchers outfit, with one of those rolley table things with the meal plates with the metal thigns over them
<~flibbyjibbits> i dont know words
<CommodoreJim> But yes Drom answers the door after marking his place in his book about ancient helmets
<CommodoreJim> "...yes?"
<Skeleton> Tray cart sounds right, I think
<~flibbyjibbits> he pushes the cart into the room without saying anything, then starts to lay the trays out onto the nice table, with silverware and a few pitchers of various drinks and a small bag, bows, and goes to leave, "Ya killed it, so you all get the best cut of it."
<CommodoreJim> Drom looks confused for a moment, then "Oh! The landshark!"
<CommodoreJim> "Thank you."
<Skeleton> "Oh goody"
<Deathfish64> "Oh, excellent."
<~flibbyjibbits> the bag also contains 400 gold, which is evidently some percentage of its value
<~flibbyjibbits> actually round up to uh 420 to make it divisible by 6
<CommodoreJim> smoke gold erryday
<Skeleton> smoke shark erryd-
<CommodoreJim> I go to gently nudge Lotte awake. "Hey, Lotte. We got food and money."
<Skeleton> We need to find something new to laugh at
<~flibbyjibbits> the pitchers contain water, some kind of coffee variant, some kind of lame tea, and a wine  (not the same one)
<Moonside> "uh... oh, food..." I rub my eyes. Turns out Socrates was sleeping next to me., by the way.
<~flibbyjibbits> the food is some vegetable mix, bread, bread topping of various sorts, and good landshark steaks
<Moonside> I look a little disappointingly at Drom, but don't say anything and just check out the food. "Ah... this looks pretty fancy."
<Skeleton> "Eating shark is hilarious 'cause normally it's like 'oh no a shark, it's gonna eat us'"
<CommodoreJim> I cringe slightly at the look of disappointment, but try to brush it off for the time being. "Well, this certainly looks better than what we've been having."
<Skeleton> "But now the shark is the one getting eaten by us, so it's like, I don't know the word"
<Moonside> !roll 1 20 food
<bitdroid`> [Moonside - 1d20(food)] <6> <6> <Total: 6>
<CommodoreJim> "Ironic?"
<Moonside> It's actually the same roll as before.
<Skeleton> "Haha yeah"
<Deathfish64> !roll 1 20
<bitdroid`> [Deathfish64 - 1d20] <18> <Total: 18>
<Skeleton> This is the filet mignon of the shark
<Arkay> !roll 1 20
<Deathfish64> hah
<bitdroid`> [Arkay - 1d20] <13> <Total: 13>
<Skeleton> !roll 1 20
<Moonside> So can I take 20?
<bitdroid`> [Skeleton - 1d20] <12> <Total: 12>
<CommodoreJim> Yeah I'm just gonna assume 20 because fancy shark steak :U
<Moonside> Ok.
<~flibbyjibbits> take 20
<Skeleton> Incidentally the cut that is filet mignon is located around the butt of the cow
<CommodoreJim> the bread, however...
<Moonside> "Mmmmm! This is... probably the best thing I've eaten in a while."
<Moonside> I also drink some of the water.
<CommodoreJim> Drom sets his helmet aside and digs in to the steak. "...good god."
<Skeleton> "Being a hero is its own reward. BUT I DON'T MIND A LITTLE BONUS"
<Deathfish64> Pikkup sits down and pours himself some coffee to drink alongside his sharksteak
<CommodoreJim> Drom has a bit of the coffee with his shark. "Well, this is definitely an improvement over my last several meals."
<Skeleton> Has the wine worn off yet
<Deathfish64> "I always did think we should be hunting monsters more often."
<Deathfish64> "You guys should listen to me."
<Moonside> Socrates meows for obvious reasons, so I cut off a piece of it and give it to him.
<Skeleton> That's how cats that jump onto tables to steal food are created
<Skeleton> Warty Morty does not beg
<Arkay> "It's nice to finally have a break."
<~flibbyjibbits> if i were a jerk id say roll fort now
<Arkay> but you are a jerk flib
<CommodoreJim> As he eats, Drom looks like he's pondering something. Like, say, a plan to get enough privacy for sex.
<CommodoreJim> 'My girlfriend's so mad. I'm gonna have sex with my girlfriend so she won't be so mad.'
<Skeleton> http://gunshowcomic.com/27
<CommodoreJim> He has not come up with a plan beyond 'Tell them to go into town and do something so he can have some damn sex.'
<Moonside> I finish eating and go check out the books on the shelves.
<Skeleton> (heh. check them out. because libraries.)
<~flibbyjibbits> sorry im slow im just omging over the dota patch
<Moonside> Also, everyone add 70 gold to their money if you haven't already.
<~flibbyjibbits> dota balance patches come but once per eyar
<CommodoreJim> Drom finishes, puts his helmet back on, and picks his book on helmets back up
<CommodoreJim> he's so lame
<CommodoreJim> reading about ancient headwear
<CommodoreJim> "Hmm...maybe I should get something with horns...no, not very knight-like."
<Deathfish64> "Get something with little wings instead."
<CommodoreJim> "Hmm...yeah, I could see that."
<Skeleton> Preface: For as long as people have had brains, aggressors have threatened to knock them out! This book will show you how, over the centuries, protection of the noggin has advanced
<Moonside> I end up taking a book about the history of modern book printing.
<Moonside> And nothing happens.
<Skeleton> Freddie grabs a book: My Real Encounters With Extraterrestrial Beings
<Deathfish64> In the history section?
<Arkay> historical fiction
<CommodoreJim> The G-I history section!
<CommodoreJim> Drom glances over at Lotte and gives an apologetic look. As best he can with his helmet on.
<Deathfish64> Pikkup fails to find any interesting books and instead takes out some scrap paper and tries to sketch the landshark
<Skeleton> Oh I forgot there were letters
<~flibbyjibbits> there are a few gaps in the shelf since the order had this room right before you
<Moonside> Lotte doesn't see it.
<~flibbyjibbits> its by author name
<Deathfish64> !roll 1 20 drawcheck
<bitdroid`> [Deathfish64 - 1d20(drawcheck)] <7> <7> <Total: 7>
<Skeleton> DON'T YOU KNOW THE DEWEY DECIMAL SYSTEM (I guess I don't)
<Deathfish64> "Oops, I think I messed up"
<Deathfish64> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mZHoHaAYHq8
<bitdroid`> YouTube video title: UHF Conan The Librarian
<Skeleton> Hahahaha yess
<Skeleton> "What if there was a thing that was... I guess like Tombs's gun, but you fired it and a picture of whatever it was looking at came out"
<Skeleton> "Then you wouldn't need to draw the monsters"
<CommodoreJim> Drom frowns, and scribbles a note that reads "I'm sorry. There's just no privacy here." and tries to nonchalantly give it to Lotte.
<CommodoreJim> RELATIONSHIP ADVENTURES
<CommodoreJim> !roll 1 20 nonchalant roll
<bitdroid`> [CommodoreJim - 1d20(nonchalant)] <13> <13> <Total: 13>
<Arkay> I poke Drom. "Uh, you want us to step out or something?"
<CommodoreJim> Drom jumps. "Ack! Uh, buh...huh?"
<Arkay> "Is that a yes or no I can't tell"
<Deathfish64> "But freddie, how would you even do that?"
<Skeleton> "Probably with magic. Probably..."
<CommodoreJim> "Uh...well, erm...yes, it would be appreciated."
<CommodoreJim> freddie needs to use his magics to invent science
<Deathfish64> "Maybe if you had a box with a window and you summon a little demon that knows how to paint very quickly inside... no, that's just stupid."
<Arkay> okay how long should be we be out? seven minutes or is that stretching it?)
<Skeleton> "You're onto something I think, but, how would you get the little demon to do it?"
<CommodoreJim> omg.
<Skeleton> I guess Pikkup and Freddie will keep talking about this as they leave
<Deathfish64> sure
<Skeleton> "I mean are little demons known for doing services like that? Or their art skills"
<Deathfish64> "I think the biggest problem would be finding a little demon to even do that, yeah."
<Moonside> Actually... how much of science is known in this world?
<Arkay> "Okay, see you later, Drom!"
<CommodoreJim> at least enough to make guns work
<Deathfish64> "Because they aren't known for that sort of thing at all."
<CommodoreJim> We'll assume Tombs slides out after everyone, scowling.
<Arkay> "Maybe just create a small homunculus-ish thing instead of a demon."
<Arkay> "They might be more willing than some random demon."
<Arkay> nah tombs is gonna watch
<Skeleton> >:|
<Skeleton> >:| ...hot. >:|
<CommodoreJim> okay then I'll at least drape a blanket over him and pretend he's not there
<Skeleton> >:|
<Arkay> his scowl pierces through the blanket
<~flibbyjibbits> prop tombs up in a corner facing away
<CommodoreJim> Haha
<Deathfish64> "Creating any sort of homonculus is not something I would know about, though."
<CommodoreJim> Once everyone leaves, Drom clears his throat. "Um...Lotte?"
<Moonside> "You know, you probably could've asked them to leave earlier."
<Skeleton> ('is witchcraft a contagious std? I don't want it')
<Arkay> ('but you'd get living hair!')
<CommodoreJim> He sighs. "...yes, I'm aware. I'm just not exactly good with that sort of thing. That is to say, I'm a bit awkward about being open about this."
<CommodoreJim> "...I'm sort of used to hiding things, I guess!"
<Skeleton> Drom confirmed for easter bunny
<Deathfish64> ("I'm getting used to hiding my penis inside you")
<CommodoreJim> omg.
<Moonside> (oh, Socrates left with the others) I smile a little again. "Haha... well, whatever." (and then they HAVE SEX)
<Deathfish64> roll for sex
<CommodoreJim> no please
<Deathfish64> use the greater of dex or cha mod
<CommodoreJim> Bitdroid will give a 1
<Skeleton> !roll 1 20
<bitdroid`> [Skeleton - 1d20] <4> <Total: 4>
<CommodoreJim> It'd be so bad all sex forever is ruined
<Skeleton> uh-oh.
<CommodoreJim> Nothing would ever want to reproduce again
<CommodoreJim> That roll doesn't count, Freddie made the roll!
<Deathfish64> you can both roll and add the results
<Arkay> that'd be a 2 then
<Arkay> plus the mods
<CommodoreJim> Freddie's all 'if i were having sex right now, i'd probably be a 4.'
<Moonside> Lotte can do a Profession (Librarian) check instead. I'll take 10, +14 that's 24.
<Arkay> kinky
<~flibbyjibbits> how would a librarian check help
<Moonside> Books contain much knowledge.
<Deathfish64> satisfies drom's librarian fetish
<CommodoreJim> she's picked up some things from trashy romance novels
<Arkay> oh I figured she'd roleplay
<Skeleton> 'Let's roleplay library. I'm the librarian and you're the books'
<Moonside> There probably are such books as "how to be good at having sex".
<CommodoreJim> Oh I know, I'm a Cavalier, can I use my Ride check
<~flibbyjibbits> if youre discussing such things should probably consider what method of contraception is being used
<Moonside> Magic.
<~flibbyjibbits> wait no nevermind i dont want to be involved in that discusssion
<CommodoreJim> Magic.
<CommodoreJim> Morning after potion.
<Skeleton> Adventure jumped the shark when Lottedrombaby happened
<Skeleton> >:[
<CommodoreJim> We sent the baby off to be watched by Urist, since he quit adventuring
<CommodoreJim> he's a reliable babysitter right
<Moonside> Anyway, they do the stuff. Afterwards, Lotte seems much happier and relaxed. "Ah... alright, I'm feeling better now."
<~flibbyjibbits> zulben peeks his head in the window when he heard about it
<CommodoreJim> zulban pls
<Deathfish64> now what do
<CommodoreJim> "Yeah...certainly's been crazy the last couple...weeks? Months? Hell, I've lost track."
<CommodoreJim> WELL they can get dressed and everyone can come back and go back on regular adventure business of inventing the camera
<Moonside> "I think it's been months... damn, Elly's probably really worried about me. I wonder how she's doing."
<~flibbyjibbits> brb bathroom
<Skeleton> Cut to Tombs scowling while the magic people talk about picture-devil-guns
<Moonside> Lotte gets dressed again. It goes really quickly due to makeshift extra arms.
<Arkay> makeshift extra arms must make the sex pretty interesting
<Deathfish64> hairjob
<Moonside> USE YOUR HAIR
<CommodoreJim> Drom gets dressed. It takes the usual long amount of time due to armor and the normal amount of arms.
<Skeleton> So kinky
<CommodoreJim> touch fluffy hair
<Moonside> It could have involved hair play if Drom wanted.
<Moonside> Did Drom want it?
<CommodoreJim> !roll 1 2
<bitdroid`> [CommodoreJim - 1d2] <2> <Total: 2>
<CommodoreJim> Yes.
<Moonside> Drom's hair fetish.
<CommodoreJim> Curse you bitdroid.
<Deathfish64> could have used y/n
<bitdroid`> Yes
<Deathfish64> welp
<CommodoreJim> curse you again bitdroid
<Moonside> While looking for another picture, I find this. http://danbooru.donmai.us/post/show/49787
<Deathfish64> Since UHF came up before I imagine that if Pikkup survives long enough to retire from adventuring he would start an educational program for children like Raul's Wild Kingdom https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pb8C7dxTGRM
<CommodoreJim> haha
<Arkay> moon wat
<CommodoreJim> moon no
<~flibbyjibbits> no.
<~flibbyjibbits> no.
<Skeleton> THEY'RE REEELLY MAD NOW
<~flibbyjibbits> and im sorry about this but i dont think i cant stay around much longer i have too much i need to get done tomorow
<Deathfish64> "Today, we're teaching poodles how to fly"
<Moonside> Yeah, it's getting pretty late.
<Deathfish64> okay
<Arkay> alright
<CommodoreJim> Well we killed and ate a shark
<CommodoreJim> That's an accomplishment
<Deathfish64> yep
<Moonside> Yeah.
<Skeleton> And tore down a shitty restaurant in the process
<Skeleton> Birds/stones
<Deathfish64> and acquired good rooms
<Deathfish64> well, a room
<CommodoreJim> And two sixths of the party relieved stress while three sixths discussed cameras and one sixth scowled.
<Moonside> Ok, so I guess we're good, then.
<Moonside> I'm assuming that didn't count as a boss battle for leveling purposes.
<Deathfish64> probably not, it was too easy
<Skeleton> Sure was ¦J
<Deathfish64> lightnongbolt
<CommodoreJim> but how it was a ground type
<Skeleton> I took "land" just meaning "it can walk" "and dig I guess"
<Arkay> aimed for the horn?
<Arkay> fin?