My notes for my book

-Consider having Tamille walk up to her and ask about the kite festival during Deryn's cashier rush.

"Funnel cakes" -- Consider replacing this with a common Villish fair food later.

-Tilly picked three flowers, now there's six. (Chpt 8)

-(Chpt 8): Perhaps describe some lanterneers among the customers.

Make Key's father much more grumbly and grouchy; half his face is greyed by Greyweald.

Have Tilly's disappearance occur AFTER The Kite Festival

With that, maybe flesh the festival out a little more to show different people within it.

Have Pam's stand show up! Shes selling sweets.

Have the Forest be a strange thing happening around Tilly's time when she first visits her parents; have a log be split to reveal color and maybe eyes, this is just to show how normalised the town is around the presence of Greyweald.

-Key's segment -- Consider having Pam make more of a cameo.

-Chapter 31: Emphasise how hands save people.


-Chapter 32: Maybe have Deryn actually have some people around her? Introduce them around the festival. Or before it. A little girl I want to have enter the scene or at least exist. Maybe have Tara exist here. Maybe don't, we'll play by ear.

Maybe not even write this chapter and have Key be pulled out of his situation by Deryn.