Believing Hearts (ch3)

EARLY RELEASE FOR HIGHEST-PLEDGING PATRONS!

Neon has drawn an amazing comic for scenes in this chapter. I will link the artwork at the end as not to spoil things yet.

Disclaimer: I do not own Little Witch Academia.

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													Chapter 3. A Gentle Glow

Unlike the turmoil within her chest, Diana's office is calm and quiet.

At the very least, the external environment keeps her as collected as she can possibly be in the face of all that's happening.

Up until now, it's been a gradual recession, a steady ebbing of her magics. Sometimes, through rigorous focus and practice, she'd been able to regain a bit of control, a bit of strength.

But now, she's lost whatever hold she'd once had.

Now, her magics are leaking like blood from an open wound, freely slipping farther and farther away from her grasp with every second that goes by. She doesn't have the strength left to bring it back, nor can she keep ahold of what little she has left.

Left...

What does she have left...?

She's lost her mother, she's lost Akko, and now she's losing her magic as well.

All the most precious things in the world to her are gone.

What does she have left...?

Diana stares blankly down at the papers in front of her. Her desk has always been neat and organized, but now it all sits in a disarray.

She can't concentrate. She can't read. Her vision keeps lapsing, shifting in and out of focus. The thudding in her chest has been anguishing her all day, since she'd failed to complete the spell in her demonstration.

Normally, if her heart acted up, the pain would subside after a few moments. But not anymore.

Her magics had forms a natural protection around her body, almost like a second skin. It had provided a barrier of sorts, constantly blocking out the pain, without requiring any effort or thought on Diana's part.

But now, with the decrease of her magic's presence, her pain increases.

All day it's been getting worse and worse. But now, it's borderline unbearable.

The feather pen in her hand makes jagged lines over the paper she's been trying to read for the past hour. Her hand trembles uncontrollably, tremors that travel up her arm until she can no longer grip the pen. It clatters quietly onto the desk, dripping ink.

All this time, Diana's been trying to keep to herself, to deal with her pain alone. But she knows she can't do this alone anymore. She needs help.

She'd sent her concerned colleagues away before, but now she regrets that decision in the worst of ways.

Her heart is hammering, sending pulses of agony throughout her body, down to the tips of her toenails. Every vein feels as though it's about to burst, the blood pumping with every rapid beat of her heart, pushing up against her skin.

Diana clutches her chest with both hands, full-force, much like she had this morning. Only now her intentions are very different.

There's a heat spreading beneath her skin, with her heart at the epicenter. It's even going so far as to rise up behind her eyes...

Just this once... Diana wishes her body would let her cry.

/Just one more time.../

Her tears, her honesty...

They are things Akko had given her.

She wants them back. She wants her back...

There's a pounding, but this time it isn't just in her chest. She recognizes the pattern of a knock on the other side of her door.

And despite her condition, Diana steels herself. She won't allow anyone to see her like this, not until she absolutely can't help it any longer.

She sucks in a sharp breath, closes her eyes, then reopens them, forcing them to focus. She lets out the breath and it shakes. She tries again and again, until she's certain her voice will be steady.

"Yes...?"

If it's a matter that can be dealt with through words alone, without the necessity of opening that door, she'd prefer to handle it that way.

She waits for a response, taking those few seconds to gain control of her breathing as best she can. The voice from the other side is soft but firm.

"Headmistress? It's Professor Ophiuchus. May I come in?"

For a second, Diana can't remember who this person is. Her thoughts are as jumbled as the papers on her desk. She can't remember anything other than the pain assaulting her chest.

Ophiuchus...

One of the younger professors. She'd applied a few years ago. She has unique red hair and stunning blue eyes. She is very popular with the students. Diana remembers being impressed by her skills upon her application exam and performance...

Now that Diana has her thoughts in order of who she is dealing with, she clears her throat.

"Ms. Ophiuchus... You have my sincerest apologies... but do you think this matter could possibly wait until tomorrow...?"

Diana doesn't want anyone seeing her this way. She's in far too much pain to think properly. There's no way she can maintain the professional image required of her position like this.

There is silence, and she waits.

Then-

"I'm sorry, Headmistress Cavendish. But it is highly urgent. It can't wait another second."

Diana is taken aback by the response. She isn't aware of any dire situation on campus. Unless an emergency has just occurred...

"Very well," she calls a little breathlessly. "Please come in."

Diana gathers every last shred of strength in her body and uses it to stand, pushing herself up from her desk.

The door is pushed open, but just as Professor Ophiuchus enters, Diana stumbles. Her elbow knocks into the lamp on her desk, and it clatters to the floor. The sprite inside shrieks in terror and extinguishes its light.

Gasping, Diana pushes herself back up, leaning heavily against her desk. The other witch quickly closes the door behind herself and hurries inside.

"D- H-Headmistress! Are you all right?" Her voice rises in panic, and she rushes forward. But Ophiuchus stops herself before she reaches Diana, as though some unseen force field is keeping her at a distance.

Diana can see the fear in the young woman's eyes.

But it's not just fear. There is... a lot more than that.

But Diana can't focus enough to name those emotions.

She braces one hand on her desk and the other against her chest, barely able to keep her eyes open.

"I... I apologize... for showing you such an unbecoming side of myself... I ask you to... please keep this in your confidence..."

Professor Ophiuchus stares back at her with wide, dismayed eyes.

If Diana recalls correctly, this is... the first time she's ever made proper eye contact with her. Or rather, the first time Ophiuchus has ever made proper eye contact with Diana. She's always tended to avoid looking her in the eye. Diana has often feared she'd intimidated her somehow.

But now, for the first time since her employment, their eyes meet.

Diana knows it's unfair of her to ask Ophiuchus to stay quiet about this. But Diana believes she'll be better by morning.

She believes... even if she knows it isn't true.

Perhaps that knowledge is clear in her eyes, because Ophiuchus looks back at her in terror.

Deep-rooted terror.

Terror that... that shouldn't be quite this consuming to someone like her, to someone who has only known Diana professionally, and for a short amount of time...

"H-Headmistress..."

Even her voice sounds so distraught – far too distraught for someone who's only been here a few years.

Her distress, her fear, her uncertainty...

It's all so deep, so heavy.

Diana can tell, because in suppressing her own emotions, she's become an expert at interpreting others'.

Nonetheless, Diana has a duty to hear her out, and Ophiuchus has a right to be heard.

"I will be fine," she lies. "Now then... if there is an urgent matter at hand... please inform me immediately." She ignores the pain as best she can and narrows her eyes, giving off the most stern expression she can muster.

In the darkness of the room, Ophiuchus is silent for a moment.

Diana hates sharing this silence with a stranger. Especially when she's in this pitiful condition.

No one else has ever seen her this weak, this vulnerable. Only Akko. So allowing someone else to see her this way now feels like the ultimate betrayal to her wife.

Diana straightens her back as much as she can and waits for an answer.

Ophiuchus maintains her distance of just a few feet. She even takes a step back.

For a second, Diana is under the impression she will leave.

But she stays, though she drops her gaze to the floor, as though she feels ashamed for seeing her headmistress like this.

"Headmistress..." she mumbles. "I... There's something I have to discuss with you. It's something I... I've been wanting to talk to you about... for a while now..."

Diana swallows in an effort to stay focused, knowing the other witch deserves her full attention.

"Then please... there is no reason to hold back," she murmurs. "How... how long have you been wanting to discuss it with me?"

Professor Ophiuchus looks up again, just enough to meet her eyes.

"For about... three years..."

And there's... something about the way she says it.

Not only the length of time she mentions, but...

But the way she says it...

Her voice.

Her voice changes.

It loses its calm, mature, reserved undertones and rises a few pitches.

Those words.

Diana's heard them said many times before, from many different people, in many different voices.

But this...

This is... familiar...

/This voice.../

Diana takes a small step back, clutching more tightly to her chest. Her heart throbs harder beneath her palm. Her mind is playing tricks on her. The pain is going to her head...

"Headmistress..."

That voice again.

That voice.

Diana raises her head, her eyes scanning the witch before her. Even in the darkness, she can see the tips of her red hair now. They are changing color, the brighter, more noticeable color melting away, fading into a softer, more earthen brown.

Professor Ophiuchus lifts a hand to her head, and touches the hat resting there. Her fingers curl. Slowly, she removes it.

The hat passes over her face.

And the next thing Diana knows, 'Professor Ophiuchus' is gone.

Her cheeks are a little bit fuller.

Her nose is a little bit smaller.

Her red hair has turned brown.

Her blue eyes have turned red.

And her voice.

"I've missed you... so much..."

She sobs, her words choking and rasping in a familiar way. She has a certain way of saying certain words, a certain way of putting certain sounds together that no one else has. An unmistakable voice.

"Headmistress Cavendish..."

Diana watches as she drops her hat, and the last bit of magic is lifted from her cloaking spell.

On her left hand, a ring is revealed. A ring that glows in the darkness.

Diana can't move.

She can't even blink.

She can't even breathe.

All she can do is stare at that face.

And listen to that voice.

"Diana..."

Her heart stops. Just stops.

And with it, the pain stops too, just for a split second.

Just long enough for her to-

"Ah..."

Diana shakes her head, feeling wetness on her face. On her cheeks. She knows it isn't sweat from her ailments.

No. These are...

These are the things her wife had given her.

The things that reveal her honest feelings.

The things she's been missing for three years.

The tears are streaming down as quickly as they form, pouring down, dripping off her chin.

All of them. Every tear she's never shed these past three years. They all surge up and spill over, all at once.

"A-Ah-"

Suddenly, Diana is numb.

She can't feel anything, not even the pain.

Her legs buckle, and her grip on her desk fails.

She collapses hard on her knees, using her last ounce of strength on her voice.

"Ak...ko..."

How long has it been?

Since she's said her name?

Since she's heard her voice?

Since she'd cried these tears?

Past the blurring of her vision, she can see a bright glow emitting from her left ring finger. It's bright enough to light up the entire room.

But then, the pain returns.

In an instant, it slams over Diana, hitting her like a direct blow. Burning, like poison in her blood, like thorns in her heart.

Tearing. Cutting.

She's only vaguely aware of Akko's presence as she drops down beside her.

But Akko's still too afraid to touch her. Diana sees that fear in her eyes. But now she recognizes the other emotions as well.

The uncertainty. The longing. The love.

The culmination of all the things she's been hiding all these years.

It's all so much.

Too much...

Diana's heart seizes in her chest. It overwhelms her.

She only glimpses Akko one last time before her vision goes black, one last murmur of her name on her lips.

"Ah...kko-"

"Diana!"

Akko lunges forward as her wife slumps, catching her just before her head can collide with the floor.

She hasn't touched her in three years.

Three years.

Her clothes feel too big on her, her skin is so much paler.

"Diana! Diana!"

Desperately, Akko checks her own ring. There's almost no light coming from it any longer.

"No!"

/It's my fault... It was too much for her... I did this to her-/

"NO!"

Akko refuses to give in to those dark thoughts. It isn't her fault. Or even if it is, she can't dwell on that now.

Hannah and Barbara were right. She's the only one who can help Diana now.

And she's here now.

"I'm here now..." she whispers. "I'm here, Diana..."

Akko pulls her wife into her lap, cradling her head with one hand. She presses the other over Diana's frantic heartbeat.

It's absolutely out of control.

Akko's seen her through dozens of panic and heart attacks before, from minor incidents to life-threatening ones.

But this is the worst.

Diana's magics have all but left her, exposing her weakened heart.

"No... no..."

Akko brushes her palm across Diana's forehead, and for the first time in three years, kisses her there.

"No... I won't lose you... not again..."

The palpitations beneath her palm throb hard enough for Akko to feel them throughout her own body. She holds Diana close, then reaches one hand for her wand. She chokes out a spell, and pours all of her energy into it.

"Yurialilla Amorane!"

The magic manifests itself in swirls of pink and gold and purple, wrapping itself around Diana's body in swirls of light. It settles over her all at once, then vanishes.

Akko's never cast this spell before. But she waits, counting the rapid beats of Diana's heart. She can still discern her arrhythmia, the irregularity of the extra pulse.

"Please... please..."

She closes her eyes, forcing out more tears, which drip down onto Diana's neck.

She waits. Diana's heart is about to give out-

And then it slows.

Beat by beat, second by second, it slows down.

Akko drops her head onto Diana's chest to listen.

She waits.

Waits.

Waits...

Until Diana's pulse is back to normal.

Its special, jumpy rhythm.

A heartbeat that is Diana's, and Diana's alone.

"Diana... Diana..."

She's still breathing. Akko can hear it, feel it.

Inhaling, she lifts her face to seek Diana's.

She'd been crying so hard, so much.

/She hasn't cried all this time.../

Somehow, Akko can tell as much.

For three years, Diana hasn't shed a tear.

For three years, her magics have been fading, and her heart has been weakening.

For three years, she hasn't slept, eaten, or smiled properly.

"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry..."

Akko cups Diana's face in her palm, touching the softness of her hair.

"It's all my fault... b-but I'm here now... I'm here, Diana..."

The ring on her finger regains its glow, little by little. Just to be certain, Akko keeps a hand over Diana's heart, to ensure it's stable, to ensure she's still breathing.

She doesn't know how long she stays with her like that. Simply holding her.

Remembering the softness of her skin, the silken texture of her hair, the jumpy rhythm of her heart.

Remembering all they've been through, from the first time they'd introduced themselves to one another, to their first broom race, to the time they'd unseal the Grand Triskelion together...

To the first time they'd kissed one another.

Graduation.

Then their marriage ceremony...

A lifetime of experiences all within the course of a few years.

/And how much did I waste in keeping away from her for three years? How much did we lose...?/

She hates to think about it. But it can't be changed now.

What can be changed is their future together.

/Because I'm here now. And I'm never leaving you again... Diana.../

Akko leans over her, dipping her face a few inches, brushing her nose lightly against hers.

She can only imagine how much pain Diana has been put through all this time, and especially tonight.

Akko knows it was hard, excruciating.

So she is just the opposite - she is gentle, soft, tender.

"Diana..."

She holds her.

She cries.

She chants her name.

For hours.

Until there's movement in her arms.

Barely anything, but movement all the same.

Diana stirs, her chest rising beneath Akko's hand as she draws in a deep breath. Her eyelids flutter, struggling. A few strands of hair dangle across them, and Akko gently brushes them aside.

And suddenly, she's scared again.

Scared Diana might hate her, reject her, blame her for all of this. Her mind tells her to disguise herself once more, to tell Diana she'd only been dreaming.

/No. I can't give her this hope only to take it away again. This is Diana's life that's on the line./

So Akko banishes all thoughts of retreat from her mind. She swallows, but keeps her eyes trained on Diana's.

Slowly, tiredly, her lashes lift. The blue beneath them is hazy and unfocused.

Akko almost calls for her, but she stops herself, wanting Diana to adjust on her own. She waits, and those seconds feel like hours.

At last, Diana's eyes flicker up and settle into focus.

And Akko sees the disbelief, the denial. It's in her eyes as clearly as it's in her voice.

"Ah... Akko..."

It's not a question of who she sees. It's a rasp of her name, a plea to remember, a prayer for it to be real.

Diana doesn't believe it's real yet. All this time she's believed, but now that it's right in front of her, she's forgotten how to.

/That's okay. Because I'll help her remember./

Akko tries to smile, but her tears come spilling down anew, making her expression wobble. She strokes her fingers through Diana's bangs, dipping her head in a nod.

"Yeah... it's... it's me, Diana..."

Diana blinks once, then twice, still trying to process it all.

"Y-You... I... I don't..." She exhales, and Akko feels it shake. "I don't... I do not believe it... I-I-" The tears well up and spill down back toward her temples, disappearing into her hairline. "Akko... A-Akko-"

"Shh..." Akko leans down once more, gently bumping her nose against Diana's. "It's okay... It's real... I promise, Diana..." She moves closer, nuzzling against her cheek. "I'm here, Diana... I'm home... I'm finally home..."

A small, broken wail tumbles from Diana's lips. Her chest jolts with a loud sob, one she can't even hope to suppress.

"Akko... Akko..."

The tears are so heavy she can't keep her eyes open.

She doesn't want to close them. She's scared Akko won't be there when she opens them again.

So as Diana's eyes inevitably fall shut, her hands find purchase on Akko's robes, her nails digging in defiantly, refusing to let her go.

Not again.

/Never again./

Carefully, Akko lifts Diana up closer, pulling her into a loose, partial embrace.

"Easy..." she murmurs. "D-Don't cry, Diana..."

She doesn't want her to strain herself anymore than she already has. She can feel Diana's heart starting to pound again, her breathing becoming labored once more.

Diana snaps her eyes back open, sending a stern glare up at her past the tears.

"How can you p-possibly expect me... n-not to- a-after all this time, y-you were... you were..."

"I know..." Akko cradles the back of her head, her knee and other arm supporting Diana's shoulders and back. "I-I know, a-and I'm... I'm so sorry Diana... I... I don't know why, b-but I just... I just..."

"Akko-"

The brunette sniffles.

"Y-Yeah...?"

Diana reaches one hand up to her wife's face.

And ever so softly - for the first time in three long, agonizing years - she touches her.

Diana cups her cheek, pressing her palm against her soft, smooth skin.

"Stop talking."

She pulls Akko down to her as best she can. Akko willingly closes her mouth and follows her lead.

Diana guides her to her lips, and Akko sobs. Her voice cracks and whimpers as her lips bump lightly against her wife's.

She's dreamt of this. So many, many times. She knows Diana must have, too.

They've dreamt of this moment, even when they weren't asleep.

They've been dreaming of this moment for the past three years.

Diana's shaking in her arms, and Akko makes sure not to kiss her too hard, not to hinder her breath.

Akko can feel something welling up in her stomach, through her chest. It comes out as another open-mouthed sob, one with fractions of her voice mixed into it.

"S-Sorry... I'm so s-sorry, Diana... I-I-"

"Akko..."

Akko sniffles deeply several times, wiping her sleeves over her eyes, then looks up. With a small grunt of effort, Diana rights herself as best she can in this position, moving her arms despite how much they're shaking. She rests them around Akko's shoulders and pulls her in.

"Did I not tell you... to be quiet...?"

Diana gives a bit of a tug, one that makes Akko squeak in surprise as she's gently yanked into Diana's embrace.

"Do not apologize," she murmurs. "Do not even... consider it..."

Diana's been so weak. All this time, she's been so terribly weak.

But now, her strength is returning.

Bit by bit, ounce by ounce.

And she uses it all to hold Akko close.

Closer than ever before.

Akko whimpers into her shoulder and returns the embrace with equal fervor.

"B-But... I-"

"You came back..." Diana breathes. "You... You came back to me... At long last, you came back... Thank you, Akko..."

Akko breaks down all over again.

/Why? Why is Diana thanking me? She should be blaming me for leaving in the first place... I'm the reason all of these horrible things happened to her. It's because of me she nearly lost her magic again... If I'd just told her the truth sooner... or never left at all.../

"Why...?" she croaks. "H-How can you say that, Diana? After a-all I did..."

"Because-" Diana chokes. "Because... you are alive... I... all this time, I have been trying to believe... as you would have wanted me to. But... part of me saw no reason to any longer. Part of me thought..." She can't bear to say it. Diana sobs again, shaking hard.

"B-But you... you did not leave me after all... and you came back... So thank you, Akko... Thank you for... for coming back to me... For letting me believe..."

Diana tightens her grip, and Akko does the same, pressing close until they can feel their heartbeats overlapping.

"S-Still... I-I should've... told you sooner... I shouldn't have waited-"

"Akko."

Diana ease herself back so Akko may see her face. Akko chokes again.

Diana's blue eyes are shining brightly, all but sparkling.

And her smile...

It's the first real smile she's ever worn since she'd lost her.

It is from the heart.

Diana pulls Akko down for another soft kiss.

"None of that matters anymore. None of it. It is behind us, Akko. You are here now... and that is all that matters."

"But-"

Akko is about to say more, to voice more of her regrets and her guilt.

But she forgets whatever she'd been about to say.

Diana kisses her again, silencing her ever so gently, with tender lips and ginger hands.

And Akko knows Diana is right. There is no use in regretting the past. Because it's over, and it isn't ever coming back.

What lies before them is a much brighter future. It's illuminated now by the joint glow of their rings, but that isn't all.

There is still a bit of magic lingering around Akko's wand, swirling pink and gold and purple.

And it isn't long before it's joined by another glow.

This light comes from Diana herself.

It is lighter, blue and green in hue.

Her magic has come back to her.

And it winds together with Akko's, dancing in a lively, colorful display of light.

It combats the darkness, chases it all away until there are no shadows left.

Light.

Diana's finally found her light.

It's returned to her at long last.

"Thank goodness..."

She can't stop crying. After so long of never being able to shed a tear, now she can't stop crying.

Of course, Akko can't stop either. She blubbers much more loudly than Diana's voice is capable of, and it makes Diana's smile stay.

Hearing Akko's sobs, her voice, her whispers.

Feeling her body against hers, her warmth, her pulse.

And her scent.

/How could I ever have forgotten...?/

Akko smells like earth, freedom, and cake.

All of these things reassure Diana, confirm it's all real.

Even when she can't keep her eyes open to see her, Akko is still there.

"I'm here..." Akko promises once more. "I'm home, Diana. And I'm... I'm never leaving you again..."

"...You most certainly are not," Diana sniffles. She wipes her eyes, then seeks Akko's. "Welcome home, Akko..."

Finally, Akko manages to giggle past the tears. Diana can't remember the last time she'd heard her laughter.

Akko loops her arms around the small of Diana's back, then leans back. She plops herself onto the floor, lying on her back, and holds Diana on top of her chest, squeezing and nuzzling her everywhere she can.

Akko peppers kisses all over her tearstained face, through her frazzled hair, and across her beautiful lips. She can feel Diana's heart soaring, thrumming right up against her own.

She's as soft, as warm, and as beautiful as Akko remembers.

Their bodies mold together perfectly. After all, their marriage ceremony had confirmed they had quite literally been made for one another.

Their hearts, their souls, their magics.

It all resonates, surging together to create an unmistakable feeling.

Something that can and will only ever be theirs.

Diana kisses her wife repeatedly, laughing and crying, crying and laughing. The lights of their rings and their magics dance around them, vivacious and joyous.

Akko lets her voice ring out, giggles mixed with hiccups and sobs. She keeps her hold around Diana firm, and gently rolls them over.

And it's... almost like she'd never left.

Akko kisses her again.

"Diana..."

"Akko..."

Akko sits herself up, keeping one arm braced around Diana's back, and pulls her up until their faces are level once again.

Their lips come together with a bit more passion, a bit more surety.

It's real.

It's real.

Their arms find purchase around one another.

Their magics dance.

Their hearts beat as one.

And their voices speak the same vow.

"I love you..."

They've always known. They always will.

But from now on, they'll be able to remind each other every day, and every night.

For the rest of their lives.

They'll never stop believing.

In their magics.

In their own hearts.

And in each other.

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A/N: Don't worry, there's more to come! These two have a lot more to discuss, after all.