What does a blonde and a beer bottle have in common?
   They're both empty from the neck up.
Why did the blonde stop using the pill?
   Because it kept falling out.
Why was the blonde upset when she got her Driver's License?
   Because she got a F in sex.
How does a blonde lose 5 pounds?
   She takes off her make-up.
How do you comfuse a dumb blonde?
   Put her a circular room and tell her to go sit in the corner.
What do you do if a blonde throws a gernade at you?
   Pull the pin and throw it back.
What does a U.F.O. and an intelligent blonde have in common?
   You always hear about them...but never see them.
What did the blonde do when she broke her tupperware?
   She called a plastic surgeon.
Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
   You get to park in the handicap zone.
What do you call a blonde with pig tails?
   A blow job with handlebars.
Did you hear about the new blonde paint?
   It's not real bright, but it's cheap and spreads easy.
What did the blonde's left leg say to her right leg?
   Between the two of us, we can make a lot of money.
Why don't blondes use vibrators?
   They always chip their teeth.
How does a blonde like her eggs in the morning?
   Fertilized.
What do you call a dumb blonde behind the steering wheel?
   An airbag.
What's the difference between a blonde and an ironing board?
   It's difficult to open the legs on an ironing board.
A burnette says to a blonde, "Look! A dead bird!"
The blonde looks up and says, "Where?"

A blonde walks into a library and says, "Can I have a burger and fries?"
The librarian replies, "I'm sorry, this is a library."
So the blonde whispers, "Can I have a burger and fries?"

How did the blonde die at the baseball game?
   She drowned during the wave.
What was the blonde's excuse after getting in a helicopter crash?
   She said she was cold so she turned off the ceiling fan.
How can you tell a blonde in school?
   She erases her notebook when the teacher erases the board.
What did the blonde say after her boyfriend blew her in her car?
   "Thanks for the refill." (actually i dont really like this 1. what do u think? maybe word it differently or something idk)
Why did the blonde get 17 other people to see a movie?
   Because "under 18" was prohibited.