The adventures of Badass Detective Barry Halligan and his Sexy Sidekick Tina Montana through several different locations while having hilarious shootouts and making sexual innuendo the whole time. (Revision 2)

Key:
// - Comment
: - Dialogue line
[] - Action
() - Music
Characters:
Barry Halligan – Matt
Tina Montana – Unconfirmed, once more
Pony Fontana – Ciarron
Vincenzo Porleone – Sanaa
Danny (Killer) – Christiaan
Chief of Police (Maximilian Strauss) – Jonathan

SCREENPLAY – SCENE 1

[Close-up of the “Cereal” killer, holding a sniper rifle.] (Suspenseful)
[Wide shot of Porleone residence, zoom to backyard patio.]
[Panning shot of patio; focus on cornflakes box.]
[Shot sound, cornflakes go flying.](Intense)
[70’s style cop-show introduction sequence.](Funky)
[End of intro, Halligan comes around the side with Tina and Tina begins examining the cornflakes.]
Halligan: God damn it, my bad-ass tweed suit is at the fucking dry cleaners. All I could find is this shitty t-shirt and shorts and a fucking cowboy belt. // swearing bleeped for effect.
Tina: [Scowling at Halligan] Oh boo-hoo; put a sock in it idiot.
Halligan: Let’s not forget who the commanding officer here is.
Tina: Yeah, alright. [Turns to Porleone] Anyway, Mr Porleone, care to explain what happened here?
Porleone: Some MONSTER shot my poor box of cornflakes. I was just coming out to have some too. [Sobs]
Tina: Don’t worry; we’ll get to the bottom of this.
Halligan [to Porleone]: Damn right I’m getting to the bottom of that!
Tina: Hell will freeze over before you get anywhere near me dumb shit. Get back to doing your job already! [Halligan giggles.]
Halligan: What’s in those two jugs over there?
Tina: I swear if you make one more joke... Oh wait; there actually are two jugs on the table. [Examines them] They both have milk in them... [Halligan laughs] Oh God... [Sighs, shaking head] I fell for that one.
Porleone [Worriedly]: Who could do this to an innocent box of cornflakes?
Halligan: Someone who doesn’t like cornflakes very much I guess.
Porleone [Quite normally]: Well, that’s a given.
Tina: Oh, don’t mind him, he likes pointing out the obvious. Dumbass.
Halligan [Confidently]: I’ll have you know that I was voted detective of the year last year!
Tina: Wasn’t it last year that the bus full of detectives on their way to the new building was blown up? The same bus you weren’t on?
Halligan [Yelling]: I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THAT! I DIDN’T TAKE SEVERAL KILOS OF PLASTIC EXPLOSIVE FROM THE EVIDENCE ROOM ON THAT DAY! I DIDN’T MISS THE BUS TRIP ON PURPOSE! I WAS AT HOME SICK!
Tina: I wasn’t implying anything, but thanks for sharing... You are daft sometimes, honestly.
Halligan [Nervously]: Oh really? Good. Because you would’ve been wrong.
Porleone [Whispering]: What the fuck is going on here...
Tina: [Puts her hands on her hips and shakes her head at Halligan for a bit.] [Stops that.] Anyway, let’s continue. [Examining “dead” cornflakes box.] The bullet seems to be of a large calibre, possibly used to achieve maximum penetration.
Halligan: I’ll pene...
Tina: DON’T FUCKING SAY IT HALLIGAN!
Halligan [Defeated]: Fine.
Tina: As I was saying... A large calibre bullet was used, for maximum penetration. This is evident from the large bullet hole in the table; the bullet went right through the box.
Halligan: [Pulls out his huger revolver and fires a round into the table] I bet it’s not that big.
Tina: ARE YOU A FUCKING MANIAC? YOU COULD’VE KILLED ME!
Halligan: If I was going to kill you, it wouldn’t be with this gun...
Tina: You won’t stop with the shitty jokes will you?
Halligan: Hell no.
Porleone: They are pretty funny actually... [Giggles]
Tina: Don’t encourage him. [Pause] Back to it, for the third time. [Continues working]
Porleone [To Halligan]: [Takes him aside] I have an idea who killer was. I bet it was that asshole Pony Fontana that sent his little bitch Danny to do this. He has had a problem with me for a while now.
Halligan: Hey buster, let’s not forget who is wearing the sexy Ray-Bans here. Me. Therefore I am the detective.
Porleone: I understand that, but I am prepared to make you an offer you could rather easily refuse.
Halligan: An offer I could do what with?
Porleone: Rather easily refuse.
Halligan [Mutters]: You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.
Porleone: What was that?
Halligan [Normally]: I said “What is the offer?”
Porleone: The offer is as follows. You look the other way, while I deal with the Cuban gangster [Snidely].
Halligan: You were right. I can rather easily refuse that. And I will.
Porleone: Really?
Halligan: Yeah, and now I’m going to make you an offer you’d do best not to refuse.
Porleone: What’s that?
Halligan: You shut the fuck up and let me go about my business or I’ll shoot you in the leg.
Porleone: But – [Halligan shoots him in the leg] [Porleone screaming] YOU COCK, I WASN’T GOING TO REFUSE.
Tina: [Spins around quickly] WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU SHOOTING AT THIS TIME? [Spots Porleone] HOLY SHIT! WHY DID YOU SHOOT HIM?
Halligan: I did say he’d be better off agreeing didn’t I?
Tina: I DON’T KNOW I WASN’T LISTENING! Shit, we have to leave now.
Halligan: Let’s go then.
Tina: What about all this? [Indicates the crime scene]
Halligan: Fuck it; just bag the box, throw some rulers around and take some pictures. I can’t be bothered standing here anymore.
Tina: But...
Halligan: But nothing. I am your commanding officer.
Tina: Fine. [Does it] It’s done.
Halligan: Good, let’s go. [Turns to Porleone, who is on the ground unconscious from blood loss] Good day to you Mr Porleone and don’t worry I will get to the bottom of her [quickly] THIS! This I mean. [Begins to walk out with Tina]
Tina: Should we have called him an ambulance?
Halligan: Don’t worry, he’s Italian.  He’ll be fine; he’s just faking it anyway. Have you ever seen an Italian football training camp? Bunch of pansy actors they are...
[Fade]

END SCENE 1

SCREENPLAY – SCENE 2

[Chief of Police’s office, in the city. The Chief of Police has just received a ransom note from the cereal killer and has asked Halligan to come and have a look. Include a brief phone call. Note: Halligan is at the precinct.]
Chief of Police [phone, to Halligan]: Halligan, I need you to see this.
Halligan: What’s this?
Chief of Police: Just get over to my house will ya?
Halligan: Alright, on my way [hangs up]. [To Tina] Let’s go bitch.
Tina: I won’t have you talking like that to me. Say it properly.
Halligan [Looks at her for a second, in silence, then begins to leave]: Fine, I’ll go alone.
Tina [exasperated]: Alright alright I’m coming.
[Show, briefly, a car driving down the street and pulling up in front of a house. This is the Chief of Police’s house.]
[Halligan and Tina exit the car, and walk up the driveway walkway to his house.]
[On the way up the walkway, Halligan attempts to “touch” Tina, only to be punched in the face and fall over into a bush.] //This scene will be shot from afar, with no voices. A filler scene, if you like.
[They reach the door.]
Halligan: Where’s the door bell? [Looks around for a few seconds, then pulls out his revolver]
Tina: And what exactly do you plan on doing with that?
Halligan: I like to call it: “Alerting as to my presence.”
Tina: You’re a psycho. Whatever, just let me block my ears first, that thing is deafening.
Halligan [to the door]: Seeing as this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?
Tina: What ARE you doing?
Halligan [embarrassed]: Oh shit, I forgot you were there. [Puts the gun away, points at the doorbell] Found the door bell. [Rings it.]
Chief of Police [opens the door]: Ah, Halligan, I’ve been expecting you. Come in, come in.
Halligan [to the Chief of Police]: Damn right I’m coming in, bitch.
Tina [to Halligan]: That’s no way to speak to the Chief of Police of the town!
Halligan [to Tina]: And who said I was talking to the Chief of Police?
Tina: Do you recall me saying anything to do with ‘coming in’?
Halligan: [is silent, stares at Tina]
Tina: Didn’t think so.
[They go inside, to the Chief of Police’s study, which has in it a desk with a computer on it and a few chairs. No more, no less. They are seated, with the Chief of Police closest to the desk]
Chief of Police: I have summoned you here today with a matter of great importance to discuss. I am well aware of the brutal murder of the box of Corn Flakes the other day and I am also aware that you are the lead investigators. This is why, when I received an e-mail from an unknown source, talking about killing cereal, I thought to call you.
Halligan: This guy e-mailed you?
Chief of Police: Yes, so it seems.
Halligan: Wow. What does e-mail stand for again? Does it have anything to do with a .44 Magnum?
Chief of Police: No, it simply stands for electronic mail.
Halligan: Electronic? Wouldn’t that zap you?
Tina: No you blithering idiot. He sent him a message on his computer. God, sometimes I swear you are still in the seventies.
Halligan: Oh, riiiiiiiiiiiiight. Proceed.
Chief of Police [reading e-mail]: “To whom it may concern: I will enjoy killing one box of cereal every night until you pay me with one hundred thousand food stamps. None of those stupid twenty percent off your next meal at olive garden coupons or any other crap like that. If you agree, put it in the newspaper personals tomorrow morning and I will contact you to set up a meet. If I do not hear from you, it will be my pleasure to kill a box of your Frosties or Coco-pops next. Do not tell anyone about this transmission. Signed, Voltron.”
Halligan: VOLTRON?! [Bursts out laughing]
Tina: Grow up. I think the more obvious problem here is the fact that he’s asking for food stamps. What is he, a refugee or something?
Halligan [stops laughing]:  Probably. Anyway, what do you propose we do?
// Chief of Police looks between speakers for the next three lines.
Tina: Wow, you’re asking him?
Halligan: I’m not going to listen, I’ll simply tell him his plan is highly flawed and the only way to deal with this idiot is by shooting at him with my hand cannon.
Tina: You could’ve just skipped the middle ground. Besides, you don’t even know who this ‘idiot’ is yet. //Chief of Police stops looking here.
Chief of Police: Are we very much done here? We have a plan to formulate, this may take a while...
[Begin to fade out and at about half way, fade back in.]
Halligan: HOLD ON JUST A SECOND THERE! I didn’t make any of my awesome sexual jokes in this scene!
Tina: Too bad, it is imperative that we cut the scene here.
Halligan: I’ll have to make up for this...
[Fade out]
[On screen text: “Six hours later...”]
[Fade in]
Halligan [storming towards the front door]: Fine, FUCK YOU THEN! [Slams the door]
Tina [opens the door and comes out]: Watch where you slam doors next time, do you want to hit me?
Halligan: Damn right I want hit you. [Smiles]
Tina: [Scowls at him]
Halligan: Anyway, we spent like what, four hours in there...
Tina: ...Six...
Halligan: ...Six hours in there and we didn’t get a single plan formulated.
Tina: It really would’ve helped if you weren’t waving that howitzer of your around the whole time.
Halligan: You think so? I always thought it served well in persuading people to do what I want...
Tina: It would, if you weren’t trying to propose such a stupid plan.
Halligan: How is training a gorilla to fire a handgun and sending it after the Cubans a stupid plan?
Tina: Precisely three reasons. One, gorillas are endangered. Two, good luck training it without it shooting you in the face and three; who said anything about fucking Cubans?
Halligan: Ah, touché. Still a good plan though.
Tina: [Shakes her head at him]: Let’s just go back to the office. [Walks back towards car]
[Cut to shot of the Chief of Police looking sneakily out of a window, to check whether they have left. Then show him picking up a phone.]
Chief of Police [dialling, reading a sheet]: Zero, seven, three, four, six, six, eight, two, seven, nine, hash, star, zero, nine, equals... Wait, what? [examines it closely] Oh, it’s a hash. One, four, seven. Finally.
[Ringing]
Phone: Hello?
Chief: Hello, is this Pony Fontana I am speaking to?
Phone: One and the same. I am to assume you have called about our deal.
Chief: Yes, I have. I received the mock email to show to that Policeman, he had no idea what to do.
Pony [phone]: Good. It should throw him off. Not that we needed to throw him off, the man is an idiot.
Chief: Oh, I’ve experienced him first had on several occasions, I know.
Pony: Fair enough. Anyway, I want you to come by my hideout at 4 in the afternoon next Friday; we have payment arrangements to make with mister Porleone.
Chief: yes, we do. Okay, I’ll be there.

END SCENE 2

SCREENPLAY – SCENE 3

[The next day, at Pony Fontana’s small hideout, outside the back entrance. He is sitting at a table with the killer of the cornflakes, playing a card game and talking. Pony is obviously high; there is a mound of coke lying on the table in front of him. Speech is slightly slurred as a result. There are also two of Pony’s henchmen nearby, briefly seen]
Pony [lights a cigar]: Oh mang, these cigars are fucking good eh?
Danny: I wouldn’t have a clue.
Pony: Of course you wouldn’t have a clue. You’re a dumb fucking cockroach like the rest of these fuckers I call employees. Aah! [Snorts another line]Did you make sure you weren’t followed here?
Danny: Of course // Mafia man seen hiding in bushes, taking notes.
Pony:  Alright. Anyway! On with the business. Did you sort out that stupid goombah’s fucking cornflakes?
Danny: I did.
Pony: Good. So, what’s next? Did you get the right messages to the right people?
Danny: Yeah, I got the fruit loops one to Porleone and the Food Stamps one to our associate.
Pony: I hope you mean that you got the food stamps one to Porleone and the Fruit Loops one to our associate...
Danny: Oh... shit.
Pony: YOU HAVE GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME! I TOLD YOU SPECIFICALLY, GET THE FOOD STAMPS ONE TO PORLEONE SO HE CAN PAY US AND THE FRUIT LOOPS ONE TO THE CHIEF SO HE CAN CONFUSE THAT IDIOT DETECTIVE! WHAT IS SO HARD TO UNDERSTAND ABOUT THAT?
Danny: All of it actually, with that fucking accent.
Pony: If you aren’t careful, you’ll be saying hello to my little friend soon.
Danny: I’m sure it’s very small. Now, shut up and listen. That bumbling idiot of a detective has almost no chance of picking up our tail. Sure, we may not get the payment we wanted this time, but if we sort things out, we can pick some other rich dickhead and kill his cereal, then demand a payment from him.
Pony [shakes his head]: Wow, I’m trippin’ out. What did you say?
Danny: Purple monkey dishwasher.
Pony: ... That’s brilliant! They’ll never see it coming.
Danny [removing a tranquilizer dart from his pocket]: You’re out of it, you need a rest. [Stabs him with it]
Pony: What the fuck is tha...t shi... [snoring]
Danny: This is [looks at the dart] Oh, shit. [Shown to say: “Horse Tranquilizer.”] Ah, whatever, he’ll be up within 24 hours anyway.
[At this point, the Mafia man is seen to leave the premises. A shot of him jumping into a car and driving away is shown. A shot of Halligan’s car pulling into the Porleone residence is then shown.]
 [Suddenly, the door flies in and Halligan is seen to stroll in, gangsta style, with Tina in tow.]
Halligan: Sup bitches?
Porleone: How the fuck did you get in here? My security is tighter than a nun’s ass.
Halligan: Yes, except for one part. I shot though your outer wall with my gun.
Porleone: What kind of fucking gun is...? Wait; is that the one you shot me with?
Halligan: Probably.
Porleone: That explains a bit; you nearly blew my fucking leg off. In fact, why am I not ordering my men to shoot you?
Mafia man #1: I was just thinking that.
Halligan: Hold up. I’m here to ask you some questions.
Tina: No, I’m here to ask him some questions. You’re here because you have to be.
Halligan: Oh yeah...
Porleone: Well, for the lovely lady, anything.
Tina: Yes, that seems to be the general consensus... Anyway, tell me mister Porleone, have you received any communications from anyone, regarding the incident yesterday?
Porleone: In fact, I have. But it is a strange message. It is on the computer.
Tina: An email?
Porleone: Yeah. [Goes to the computer] Here we go. Reads the message: “To whom it may concern: I will enjoy killing one box of your cereal every night until you pay me with one hundred thousand boxes of fruit loops. None of that home-brand ‘fruity rings’ crap, real fruit loops. If you agree, put it in the newspaper personals tomorrow morning and I will contact you to set up a meet. If I do not hear from you, it will be my pleasure to kill a box of Frosties or Coco-pops next. Signed, Voltron.”
Tina: Wait a second. Fruit loops? I thought it was...
Porleone: What?
Tina: Never mind.
Halligan: Mind if I have a look at the computer?
Porleone: Be my guest. There isn’t much you could possibly do to it...
Halligan: What’s that supposed to mean?
Porleone: Oh nothing, nothing.
Halligan: Hmpf. [Goes to the computer and fiddles with it. We see him plant a small bug near the computer.] Well, that is all. I think we should be going now Tina.
Tina: Ok, I haven’t got anything else to ask anyway. Good afternoon mister Porleone.
Halligan: Ok, let’s bounce niggaz.
Tina: Oh god... [Slaps herself on the forehead, they walk out]
[Mafia man who left the Cuban hideout is seen pulling in, just as Tina and Halligan pull out]
Mafia man #2: Godfather, I have returned with information, like you wanted!
Porleone: That is good news my son. What have you found out for me?
Mafia man #2: Well, it turns out you were right; Pony was in on this murder. He actually had his right hand man, Danny, kill your cornflakes.
Porleone: Didn’t I say it?
Mafia man #2: You did, Godfather.
Porleone: It must’ve been him that sent the stupid email asking for all those fruit loops.
Mafia man #2: Yes, it must have.
Porleone: Ok, we need to figure out a plan of attack. We can’t mobilize a whole team of Mafiosi; the police would notice. They were just here actually, they must be watching me. Anyway, I can’t be bothered going out and buying a hundred thousand boxes of fruit loops either; though somehow I doubt that email was at all serious... I think we should send two men in, who will creep around there slowly and take him out. Let’s not do it immediately though, let’s wait until... Friday. Yes, Friday should do. Now, where is his place again?
Mafia man #2: It’s on Crown Street, about half way down the right hand side, going down. It’s a fairly small house, which is on a sloping block. Number 7, I think.
Porleone: Ok, good. Friday afternoon on Crown street.
[Cut to a shot of the exterior of the Porleone residence, with Tina and Halligan’s car parked just out of the sight of the Porleones, but in the shot.]
Tina: Wow. [Pulls a pair of headphones off.] That actually worked. I am pleasantly surprised Halligan. What made you plant a bug anyway?
Halligan: Remember when he said he thought he knew who did it? I figured that he’d send someone to check out what was going on and to see whether he was correct in guessing it was Pony Fontana. Turns out the crazy old man was right. Before we continue, I’d just like some acknowledgement of my restraint on account of me NOT doing the obvious “I’ll plant one in you” joke just after you said “What made you plant a bug anyway?”
Tina [sarcastically]: I’m impressed.
Halligan [beaming]: Thanks!
Tina: Anyway, we need to go check out this Fontana guy. We’ll go on Friday along with the Mafiosi, see if we can’t prevent them from killing each other and actually make a few arrests.
Halligan: Sounds like an opportunity for spectacular failure of plans... I’m in! In YOU that is!
Tina: Dickwad...

END SCENE 3

SCREENPLAY – SCENE 4

[On screen text: “Friday afternoon, around 4.”]
[Picture-in-Picture montage of the Mafiosi getting ready to move in, Tina and Halligan suiting up to go in and the Chief driving. This scene will also show Danny and Pony chatting casually, maybe even arguing, in a separate frame. We can only assume everyone is going there; even though we’ve been told that already, we’re just making it clear. This scene will last about 2 to 4 minutes] (Spy/upbeat) [Frame of Pony and Danny then resumes full screen and dialogue starts]
Pony: Ok, that cop is going to be here soon, to be paid. We aren’t going to say anything about our little mess up; it may make him see us as poor planners and we might lose him.
Danny: Ok.
Pony: Once we’ve paid him we’ll tell him about our next rich guy, whose food stamps we’re actually going to get this time, because we’re actually going to send the right fucking emails this time. Once he’s in on that, hopefully we’ll be left alone by the local 5-0 and we can go about our business. But then, there is still that nagging little issue of that fucking idiot detective Barry Halligan... Eh, we’ll deal with him some other time; I swear I wonder how that man manages to breathe some times, honestly, let alone solve cases involving criminal masterminds such as myself.
Danny: I’ll give you that: He is stupid. Completely fucking daft. But somehow, he always finds his way to the end of a case. Don’t ask me how, I have no idea. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if he turned up here at some point today...
Pony: I highly doubt that, nobody knows we’re here except for the Chief.
Danny: And he trusts the chief so he wouldn’t question him. I guess you’re right.
Pony: I’m always right.
Danny: Sure...
[Police Chief comes around the corner]
Chief: Hello boys!
Pony: Ah, hello Chief. Have a seat. [Chief sits]
Chief: Now, let’s cut to the chase here. I am here to be paid for doing my part in keeping Halligan off your tail.
Pony: That is correct.
Chief: Am I also to believe that you may have another proposition for me?
Pony: Ah, I see you are a very well informed man, Mr... I’m sorry, what is your name again?
Chief: My name is Sir Maximilian Strauss, but you can call me Max.
Pony: Ok, Max, as I was saying, I see you are well informed. Have you heard anything else about our upcoming proposition?
Max: Well, I heard that...
[Now we see the Mafia car pull up and the Mafiosi leaving the car and creeping around one side of the house. Just as they leave the frame, Halligan and Tina’s car pulls up and they exit it and creep up the other side of the house]
Max: ... And you were going to do the same thing but ask for the ransom differently, or so I’ve been told anyway.
Pony: Well, well, well. How DO you find these things out? I should be worried actually... Anyway, no time for that.
[At this point, the Mafiosi appear on one side of the table and Tina and Halligan appear on the other side.]
Tina: FREEZE!
Halligan: YEAH! WHAT SHE SAID!
Pony: What the fuck? How did they find us?
Max: Halligan, what the devil are you doing here?
Halligan: I’d ask the same of you chief.
Mafia man #1: Pony, the Godfather sends his regards.
Halligan: Wait just a second there. Can you see what type of gun I’m holding? It’s a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world. I don’t even need to aim this fucking thing; all I have to do is point it in the general direction of the continent you’re standing and the shockwave alone will rip you to shreds.
Mafia man #2: He has a point there.
[They all stand there, in silence, guns pointed at one another, each waiting for someone else to make a move.]
Halligan: This is getting boring. Let’s get this party started. [Pulls the trigger only to find there is no round loaded.] OH SHIT! [Dives behind a bush] TAKE COVER!
[Tina takes cover around a corner and the Mafiosi on the opposite side of the house do the same. Pony and Danny run into a little store room behind them and Max is left in the open, with his gun in his hand. Everyone starts firing at everyone who isn’t on their “team,” let’s say.]
Halligan: Right. [Is shown to finish reloading. He pops up and immediately shoots Maximilian.]
[Tina ducks around the corner and fires at the Mafiosi, killing one of them. Halligan fires 2 shots quick-draw style at Danny and Pony. They both fall. The second Mafioso is seen running away. Halligan comes out from his hiding spot and his gun falls out of the holster. Tina remains behind the wall, distressed. This is probably her first shootout. Halligan steps over Maximilian and walks over to where Pony and Danny are. Danny is dead, but Pony is not.]
Pony [Slowly, as if dying]: You cannot kill me, I am invincible!
Halligan [to Pony]: Seeing as this is a .44 Magnum, [points to his holster, which is empty] the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?
Pony: Huh?
Halligan: What do you mean “huh?”
Pony: There is no gun in your holster.
[We see Maximilian stand up, falter and slowly raise his gun to point at Halligan’s back. Halligan exclaims “SHIT WHERE’S MY GUN?” and turns around, looking for his gun and sees this. At this point, Tina gets over her distress and comes around the corner, only to see Maximilian ready to shoot Halligan. She shoots Maximilian’s gun out of his hand, using Halligan’s gun, which she picked up and it lands on Pony’s head, knocking him out.]
Tina [Aiming Halligan’s gun at where Maximilians’s gun used to be]: I thought you said this gun was powerful Halligan! It’s as weak as you! Maximilian – Time for a promotion. [Aims to fire]
Maximilian: NOOOOOOOOOO!
[Before Tina can fire Maximilian is shot in the head.]
Tina and Halligan [together]: What the fuck?
Pony [lying on the ground bleeding/dying all that but holding smoking gun]: Oh shit, I missed. [Collapses.]
Halligan[standing in the middle of the carnage]: Holy shit. That was crazy... Wow that was cool though. [Turns to Tina]: How about some victory sex?
Tina [Kicking him in the balls]: Go fuck yourself, I quit.
Halligan [on the ground, clutching his balls, struggling to speak from the pain]: So... was that a y-y-yes or-r a n-n-no?
[Fade out, credits roll]