relay_networth.ash output for shits and giggles.

56 paint bombs @ 7500 = 420,000
7 slide rules @ 60,000 = 420,000
3 warbear gyros @ 140,000 = 420,000
10 jars of Mayo de Mayo™ mayo @ 42,000 = 420,000
4254 Valentines @ 100 = 425,400
11 jawbruisers @ 39,000 = 429,000
2 natty blue ascots @ 225,000 = 450,000
18 Gratitude chocolates (Meat-filled) @ 25,000 = 450,000
233 CSA all-purpose soaps @ 1935 = 450,855
81 rubber spiders @ 5600 = 453,600
1 Tropical Crimbo Hat = 464,699
9 stench clusters @ 52,400 = 471,600
1 silent beret = 475,000
1 camouflage T-shirt = 475,000
2 epic wads @ 239,989 = 479,978
2760 handsful of hand chalk @ 175 = 483,000
138 grimstone masks @ 3500 = 483,000
121 green smoke bombs @ 4000 = 484,000
100 Packs of Alice's Army Cards @ 4900 = 490,000
2473 bunches of dry noodles @ 200 = 494,600
123 divine champagne poppers @ 4100 = 504,300
1692 elven magi-packs @ 300 = 507,600
37 cans of Ancient Protector Soda @ 14,000 = 518,000
8 fish juice boxes @ 65,000 = 520,000
9 spoonsful of Linguine-Os @ 58,500 = 526,500
53 different alien drugs @ 10,000 = 530,000
5 cupsa Sobrie tea @ 106,000 = 530,000
54 Jumbo Dr. Lucifers @ 9898 = 534,492
18 warbear metalworking primers @ 29,999 = 539,982
117 soggy used band-aids @ 4800 = 561,600
1446 mummy wrappings @ 391 = 565,386
37 pog #11s (Naughty Sorceress) @ 15,600 = 577,200
3 mercenary pistols @ 195,000 = 585,000
6 cupsa Voraci tea @ 98,000 = 588,000
1 tiny plastic Professor What = 599,998
631 Rad Libs @ 1000 = 631,000
83 honey sticks @ 7625 = 632,875
1408 vials of experimental serum P-00 @ 450 = 633,600
7 Shoggoth figurines @ 91,980 = 643,860
1 picky tweezers = 650,000
1 iron chain = 673,900
32 digital key lime pies @ 21,250 = 680,000
174 slime stacks @ 3939 = 685,386
1 grape troll doll = 700,000
483 gold stars @ 1450 = 700,350
439 lumps of Brituminous coal @ 1700 = 746,300
1 delicious star salad = 750,000
1 Crimbot ROM: Mathematical Precision = 760,000
14 soul doorbells @ 54,780 = 766,920
384 handfuls of snow berries @ 2000 = 768,000
77 tubes of silver face paint @ 10,001 = 770,077
1 dead guy's memento = 775,000
6553 clusters of twinkly nuggets @ 120 = 786,360
44 pog #10s (hobo) @ 17,999 = 791,956
940 cold wads @ 848 = 797,120
1 Time Bandit Time Towel = 800,000
80 pufferfish spines @ 10,095 = 807,600
9 Tiki lighters @ 90,000 = 810,000
1 psycho sweater = 828,000
3 haunches of accidental mutton @ 280,000 = 840,000
91 4-d cameras @ 9260 = 842,660
65 NGs @ 13,000 = 845,000
136 transmissions from planet Xi @ 6300 = 856,800
140 transdermal smoke patches @ 6145 = 860,300
11 print screen buttons @ 80,000 = 880,000
47 warbear helm fragments @ 18,898 = 888,206
2 holo-bombers @ 444,444 = 888,888
9 tiny die-cast turtle mechs @ 99,900 = 899,100
119 big slimy cysts @ 7800 = 928,200
945 Flasksfull of Hollow @ 1000 = 945,000
2141 scratch 'n' sniff unicorn stickers @ 444 = 950,604
1 floaty rock necklace = 955,000
24 warbear breakfast machine assemblers @ 39,900 = 957,600
14 ridiculously overelaborate ninja weapons @ 70,000 = 980,000
1 floaty rock helmet = 994,000
1 fudgecycle = 998,998
1 stone turtle = 999,998
1 arse-a'fire elixir = 999,999
1 floaty rock pants = 999,999
1890 warbear whosits @ 540 = 1,020,600
10,250 marshmallows @ 100 = 1,025,000
21 corrupted stardusts @ 50,000 = 1,050,000
4 kobold treasure hoards @ 270,000 = 1,080,000
27 disco horoscope (Cancer)s @ 40,000 = 1,080,000
1053 large boxes @ 1100 = 1,158,300
1 enchanted fire extinguisher = 1,190,000
42 tiny plastic angry space marines @ 28,500 = 1,197,000
10 bottles of root beer @ 125,000 = 1,250,000
300 flasks of tainted mining oil @ 4200 = 1,260,000
34 warbear soda machine assemblers @ 38,000 = 1,292,000
1 Red Fox glove = 1,350,000
149 whisker pencils @ 9770 = 1,455,730
3 bowl of Tastee-Wheet™s @ 490,000 = 1,470,000
78 Uncle Greenspan's Bathroom Finance Guides @ 18,875 = 1,472,250
75 warbear accoutrements chunks @ 19,770 = 1,482,750
1260 scrumptious reagents @ 1210 = 1,524,600
477 handfuls of Smithereens @ 3200 = 1,526,400
284 rolls of Lobos Mints @ 5400 = 1,533,600
4 warbear gyrocopters @ 400,000 = 1,600,000
170 molten bricks @ 9500 = 1,615,000
101 Xiblaxian direct marketing simcodes @ 16,000 = 1,616,000
54 warbear trouser fragments @ 30,000 = 1,620,000
1 fake washboard = 1,750,000
51 frost flowers @ 34,343 = 1,751,493
1795 BACON @ 999 = 1,793,205
66 Frosty's frosty mugs @ 27,499 = 1,814,934
1873 angry inches @ 999 = 1,871,127
1 hot egg = 1,875,000
49 smart watches @ 39,000 = 1,911,000
1283 cans of Mountain Stream Code Black Alert @ 1500 = 1,924,500
1 Mansquito Serum = 2,000,000
6744 fudgecules @ 300 = 2,023,200
447 power pills @ 4553 = 2,035,191
13,219 mind flayer corpses @ 156 = 2,062,164
837 d4s @ 2499 = 2,091,663
21,004 Cold Hots candies @ 100 = 2,100,400
194 glasses of warm water @ 11,000 = 2,134,000
6 cans of Breathetastic™ Premium Canned Air @ 375,000 = 2,250,000
1 solid shifting time weirdness = 2,300,000
12 bitter pills @ 200,000 = 2,400,000
249 pairs of snow cleats @ 9745 = 2,426,505
40 jars of fermented pickle juice @ 70,000 = 2,800,000
1 deluxe fax machine = 2,899,899
7 balls of mimeplasm @ 420,000 = 2,940,000
2 iFlails @ 1,499,000 = 2,998,000
1 tiny plastic four-shadowed mime = 3,300,000
1 record of menacing silence = 3,333,332
69 disco horoscope (Gemini)s @ 50,000 = 3,450,000
10 bottles of Twelve Night Energy @ 349,500 = 3,495,000
1 hairshirt = 3,995,000
78 extra-greasy sliders @ 51,714 = 4,033,692
27 cupsa Royal tea @ 149,941 = 4,048,407
33 globs of dumb mud @ 124,000 = 4,092,000
27 vintage smart drinks @ 159,000 = 4,293,000
984 lumps of clay @ 4500 = 4,428,000
695 potions of punctual companionship @ 6800 = 4,726,000
2 pine cone necklaces @ 2,449,000 = 4,898,000
2772 tattered scraps of paper @ 1800 = 4,989,600
1 basaltamander buckler = 4,994,994
5 Mr. Burnsgers @ 999,500 = 4,997,500
13 Gratitude chocolates (thyme-filled) @ 395,994 = 5,147,922
8 Doc Clock's thyme cocktails @ 850,000 = 6,800,000
27 still-beating spleens @ 275,000 = 7,425,000
241 quantum tacos @ 30,975 = 7,464,975
18 Gratitude chocolates (bourbon-filled) @ 420,420 = 7,567,560
154 Ol' Scratch's salad forks @ 54,500 = 8,393,000
7 The Author's inks @ 1,230,000 = 8,610,000
30 blood-drive stickers @ 296,000 = 8,880,000
23 one-day tickets to Conspiracy Island @ 399,990 = 9,199,770
965 bottles of bubbles @ 9900 = 9,553,500
15 Crimbot ROMs: Ruthless Efficiency @ 640,000 = 9,600,000
1 leather aviator's cap = 9,890,000
976 antimatter wads @ 11,500 = 11,224,000
2 Ultra Mega Sour Balls @ 6,000,000 = 12,000,000
14 quantities of spice melange @ 860,807 = 12,051,298
1 defective Game Grid token = 13,250,014
949 Schrödinger's thermoses @ 15,380 = 14,595,620
1 time-twitching toolbelt = 18,900,000
1 Camp Scout backpack = 22,480,000
1 Spooky Putty sheet = 24,000,000
1 Crown of Thrones = 24,475,000
1 Greatest American Pants = 26,000,000
1 Loathing Legion universal screwdriver = 27,100,000
1 haunted doghouse = 30,000,000
1 Pantsgiving = 34,343,434
1208 cabbage-flavored Mr. Mediocrebars @ 28,888 = 34,896,704
1 Little Geneticist DNA-Splicing Lab = 39,000,000
1 Buddy Bjorn = 39,950,950
19 bottles of Ralph IX cognac @ 2,199,921 = 41,798,499
4 right bear arms @ 11,999,900 = 47,999,600
20 Uncle Bucks @ 3,000,000 = 60,000,000
2 shrine to the Barrel gods @ 33,999,999 = 67,999,998
2 machine elf capsules @ 39,000,000 = 78,000,000
2 Platinum Yendorian Express Cards @ 84,000,000 = 168,000,000

Liquid meat (eww): 25,899,129
Inventory: 3,538,139
Store: 378,155,983
Hagnk's: 822,964,724
DC: 36,459,347
Total: 1,267,017,322