Reboot

"MOVE OUT OF THE WAY, PEASANTS!"

	The nasally white tone of MatPat rang throughout the building, as he marched lankly up to the office with a man wearing a white wig. The man in the wig's phone started to ring, he answered it and the sounds of squirrels filled his ear. He slammed the phone shut. MatPat kicked down the door of Gil's office.

"Hello Mr. Gil, or should I say, NIL!" MatPat jeered at Gil and his robotic posse serving him a nice refreshing drink.
"Who are you supposed to be?"
"The new director! Scott was wrong about the franchise so I used all my subscriber revenue to buy out your production!" MatPat's smugness leaked to and fro from his memetastic lips.
"I...what? What am I going to do with all these things then?!"
"That's YOUR problem, as of right now we're going in with special effects with my co-director Tameem Antonidas!" The nasally young snob stated, motioning to his friend in the wig.

The man threw his phone into the wall.
"Someone get me a new number I'm getting fucking squirrel noises. AGAIN."
"I've got a new vision for Scott's masterpiece, and it will all go as planned! After all..."
MatPat clasped his hands together loudly.
"This isn't just a theory, it's a MOVIE theory!"

Gil simply shrugged and walked out with his mechanical entourage.
Tameem's wig slid off.
=====
"Tear it all down fellas, it's time for every hit movie's greatest bit: the special effects!" MatPat announced, accompanied by jazz hands.
"No we don't need the traditional soundtrack, get me the dubstep of toreador, and we're going to need a badass in purple like Dante from the Devil may Cry game."
The crew looked to each other, and shrugged.
=====
"Robots roam the pizzeria, killing anybody who sets foot inside of the restaurant."

The camera was positioned awkwardly, showing a man in a purple shirt and hat making lewd movements and off-camera moaning noises. Subtle dubstep played in the background.

"His name is simply 'purple', but he's not a hero."

The sound of a woman climaxing, and purple leaning back and eating pizza was shown on camera.

"He's also a badass."

Purple barged into a hospital room with a child on life support, eating ice cream with pill sprinkles happily. The doctors all turned around and gasped as purple raised his gun.

"Fuck you" The purple guy said with a carefree sadism. The dubstep picked up from its subtle noises.

He shot the one pregnant doctor, and then shooting the kid on the hospital bed in his frontal lobe. The child didn't even respond.

"Visceral Edge!"
A purple car driving down the road at 2 miles per hour, chased by police. He rose out of the car and shot the drivers with ease. The dubstep intensified with a resounding WUBWUBWUUUB.
"Not in a million years...Nothin' personal." Purple snidely spat from his car.

"Realistic Lobotomy!"
The child just sat there numbly, barely responding to doctors.
"I don't have any dreams Mistah Doctor, nor emotions."

"Mike Schmidt!"
MatPat sat smugly in a chair, drinking a cup of coffee.
The cup read "Decaf"

The dubstep went into full swing, ending with a skewed "EEEEEEEEE"

"Five Nights at Freddy's: Zero, Coming October 31st"