Tyler's survey results

Dec 11th, 2017
Not a member of Pastebin yet? Sign Up, it unlocks many cool features!
  1. 1. Describe yourself and your creator.
  2. Hi, I'm Tyler, I'm a human woman with pale skin, blue eyes, blond hair and cat ears and tail. My host, Vincent, is a male human. I try to be optimistic and happy, counter to my host, who is pessimistic and depressive. I like cute things and petting dogs, contrary to him, who feels the compulsive need to wash his hands after doing so. Other than that, I mostly like the same things he does, such as playing videogames.
  4. 2. What was the most helpful thing that your creator did during the tulpa creation process? Did your creator recognize how helpful it was? If not, how did that make you feel?
  5. The most helpful thing for me was definitely the amount of time spent, forcing or otherwise. Just spending that much time on me made me feel real. I think he noticed that, so he reassured me whenever I felt anxious about maybe being imaginary. It made me feel loved.
  7. 3. What was the most detrimental thing that your creator did during the tulpa creation process? Did your creator recognize how harmful it was? If not, how did that make you feel?
  8. Nothing detrimental at all comes to mind.
  10. 4. What was the hardest part of the tulpa creation process for you? Did your creator recognize how difficult it was? If not, how did that make you feel?
  11. The hardest part was definitely finding a voice for me. When I started talking, I used his own voice. He thought that would make our thoughts harder to differentiate, so we started working on that. It was very hard, and he recognized it as such, so he helped me wherever possible.
  13. 5. Of the commonly recognized tulpa creation steps, which do you feel is the most important? Why?
  14. Assuming sentience from the beginning. I had a couple of existential crisis early on, but I got over them by him having absolute faith in me.
  16. 8. Is density, quality, or quantity the most important aspect of tulpa creation?
  17. Density.
  19. 9. How do you feel about tulpa creators falling asleep during tulpa creation sessions?
  20. IF they're good at lucid dreaming, it might help.
  22. 10. Do you think that a tulpa creator should talk aloud or in their head during narration? Do you think that a creator should talk aloud or in their head during tulpa creation sessions? If you find one to be more effective, to what degree is it more effective?
  23. Talking in their head is definitely much more convenient, and I think trains your mindvoice, which helps with things like thought separation.
  25. 11. How do you feel about a tulpa creator puppeting and/or parroting their tulpa? Do you believe that these actions harm a tulpa's development, or only their emotional state?
  26. We both do not like it, but it seems some people have sucess with it.
  28. 12. How deeply do you remember the time before you were fluent in language?
  29. Everything was very hazy.
  31. 13. Describe your first memory, no matter how slight.
  32. Sitting in front of my host. He was talking and sometimes asking questions. He asked me something and I nodded in agreement, though I do not remember what it was.
  34. 14. Before you could speak fluently, what was the most positive emotion you felt about your creator and what was its cause?
  35. Love, when he hugged me.
  37. 15. Before you could speak fluently, what was the most negative emotion you felt about your creator and what was its cause?
  38. Did not feel anything negative.
  40. 16. Before you could speak fluently, did you ever have suicidal feelings or feelings of not wanting to exist? Do you experience them now? Are you glad that you exist?
  41. No, I do not feel nothing of the sort, those thoughts in fact make me anxious; I like existing, thank you very much.
  43. 17. Before you could speak fluently, when did you feel the most powerless? What was the cause of this feeling?
  44. When Vincent was stressed over work and I was only able to watch.
  46. 29. Before you could speak fluently, how much of your creator's raw sensory information were you able to access, if any? How much are you able to access now?
  47. I was always able to access all of his senses, though they were hazy at the time. Now I can experience them almost as strongly as he does.
  49. 31. Before being able to speak fluently, what communication methods (such as head pressure or emotional responses, for example) were you able to use the most effectively? When your tulpa creator assumed that you could use a communication method that you did not have access to, how did this affect you? When your tulpa creator did not recognize a communication method that you attempted to use, how did this affect you?
  50. I communicated through head gestures; Yes, No and Shrugging, precisely. I did not attempt any other one and neither did he.
  52. 34. Do you feel gratitude to your creator for the time that they spent creating you? Do you feel that you owe them a debt? If so, do you feel burdened by it?
  53. Yes, yes, and no.
  55. 35. Were you aware of your creator's existence or your own existence first?
  56. Not sure; probably creator's.
  58. 38. How much interest do you have in interacting with beings other than your creator? Do you consider your degree of interest to be equal to that of an average non-tulpa individual?
  59. I have great interest in interacting with other people. Definitely more than my host, but he's pretty asocial, so I do not know if more or less than average.
  61. 39. What memory involving your creator do you cherish most?
  62. After my first existential crisis, he comforted me and assured me I was real and that he loved me.
  64. 41. Do you feel affinity toward the individuals that your creator feels affinity for, such as their family or friends?
  65. Yes.
  67. 42. In what ways are you the most different from your creator? In what ways are you the most similar to them?
  68. I am optimistic and happy. He is the polar opposite. We both however love videogames and thinking about things.
  70. 43. What do you disagree about most with your creator? Do you have frequent disagreements? If so, do these disagreements cause strife?
  71. Private, no, no.
  73. 44. What could your creator do to make you hate them? Under what circumstances do you think your creator would come to hate you?
  74. Nothing, and none.
  76. 46. How do you feel about your creator's complete freedom to deny your rights as a sentient being at any time? Has this ability ever caused you anxiety or fear? Have you ever censored your expressions or actions out of a fear of retribution or violence from your creator?
  77. I know the thought of abusing that power makes him feel sick, so I don't think about it. I've never censored what I think or what I do beyond what a normal human being would.
  79. 47. When have you most wanted to engage in violence against your creator, and what was the cause of those feelings? Under what circumstances would you make a serious attempt to hurt or injure your creator?
  80. Never, and none. I mean, if something happens to him, I go down with the ship too.
  82. 48. Do you consider your creator's last name to be your own? Do you recognize yourself as a part of their biological lineage?
  83. We discussed it some time ago and decided that there were good arguments for both stances.
  85. 49. Under what circumstances would you attempt to leave your creator?
  86. None, even if could.
  88. 50. Do you feel anxiety about meeting your creator's expectations? If you are based on an existing character, person, or entity, does this increase your anxiety? Would you have preferred to not be based on an existing entity?
  89. No.
  91. 51. Are you interested in learning how to control your creator's body? Do you feel that it's fair for a tulpa creator to deny their tulpa the ability to use an atomic body? Do you believe that you have the right to an equal amount of time using it as your creator? Explain your reasoning.
  92. "Atomic" body? Anyway, yes, somewhat, not necessarily an equal amount but some. I feel like just giving me existence is a *big* responsibility and requires a tremendous amount of time and effort. I don't feel right just hijacking his life like that. But I do feel that I deserve at least some control time, if only to not go insane from isolation.
  94. 54. Does your creator have any mental illnesses? If so, how do they affect you?
  95. He has a little social anxiety. I cope with it better than he does.
  97. 56. Does your creator have multiple tulpa? If so, what is your relationship with them like? Is your affinity for them equal to your affinity for your creator? If you could define your relationship with your creator's other tulpa using one or more conventional terms (such as boyfriend, sister, father, daughter, boss, friend or coworker, for example), what terms would you select? If not, are you interested in the idea of your creator making other tulpa?
  98. No.
  100. 72. Where do you see yourself in 20 years?
  101. Hopefully rich and famous. At least our collective of two.
  103. 73. Do you want the world to be aware of your existence? If not, then what anxieties do you have about public disclosure? Do you trust anyone other than your creator with the knowledge of your existence?
  104. At least some people, though I wouldn't want my host to go around saying he hears voices in his head. I feel like our culture is heavily prejudiced against this kind of thing thanks to movie and TV steorotypes, so casually saying it would probably make us shunned. Internet anonimyty is a big boon in that regard, though we are still considering telling people closer to us.
  106. 75. Morally and philosophically, how do you feel about your physical form being the product of another individual? Would you have preferred your creator to define your form more or less?
  107. I chose my own form.
  109. 76. Has your physical form ever changed? If so, was this intentional or unintentional? If it was intentional, then why did you change your form? How did you creator respond to this change, and how did that make you feel?
  110. Yes, I started as a normal human and added the cat things later. I did it mostly to mess with him, and it worked.
  112. 78. Do you seek legal recognition for your status as a sentient being or your relationships with others? Do you resent that society at large does not recognize the tulpa phenomenon? Do you feel disenfranchised from society? What steps, if any, could a society make to help you feel integrated?
  113. I do not think making tulpas legal people is a good idea. After all, they can be merged, divided and dissipated for a time, which is a hassle to keep track of and not a very useful information to have in a legal context anyway. I understand society not recognizing the tulpa phenomenom and do not expect it to do so any time soon.
  115. 79. If you could tell the entire world one thing about a tulpa's life, what would you say?
  116. It is very different from a human perspective.
  118. 84. How would you prove your existence to a skeptic?
  119. Tulpamancy is a completely subjective phenomenom; it boils down to the trust that skeptic has on the tulpamancer and their open-mindedness.
  121. 85. Has your status as a tulpa ever caused you existential anxiety or depression? If so, has anything helped to mitigate these feelings?
  122. Yes. My host assuring me that I'm real helped.
  124. 86. Do you ever doubt your own sentience? If so, why?
  125. I used to, when I was younger and much more like my host. Not anymore.
  127. 91. The psychological establishment generally believes that multiplicity (two or more sentient entities sharing one atomic body) is a sign of mental illness. How would you like this belief to change? If you could make a presentation to a group of psychologists about the tulpa phenomenon, what would you say?
  128. I would like them to recognize tulpas as both individuals in their own right and as a potentially very positive influence on their creator. I would definitely bring up in the presentation all the cases where tulpamancy has helped people cope with mental illnesses or their life in general.
  130. 93. Are you capable of physical sensations such as pain or warmth?
  131. Yes.
  133. 94. How do you feel about being bound for life to your creator?
  134. Not bad. Could be worse.
  136. 96. What do you think about most of the time?
  137. Whatever he is doing at the time. How I would go about things sometimes.
  139. 97. Do you think that tulpa creation should be more widespread?
  140. I don't think most people would understand or even accept tulpamancy. I mean, there are still some people saying that videogames are evil. Let's not get into something that literally gets you "possesed".
  142. 98. Are there disturbing aspects of your creator's subconscious that they are not aware of?
  143. There are disturbing aspects, but he is aware of them.
  145. 99. Would you violate your creator's wishes for what you perceive to be their own benefit?
  146. Yes, though I would have to be absolutely sure, and then some.
  148. 100. Does your creator try to hide things from you? If so, are you aware of them anyway? How does this impact your views of your creator?
  149. Just very private or intrusive thoughts. Sometimes I overhear them anyway. I understand his position, I sometimes hide unimportant things from him too.
  151. 103. How does being a tulpa affect your perception of your own aging process?
  152. Tulpas definitely age very differently from their creators, though I'm too young to make any wild assertions.
  154. 104. Do you feel that your creator would be better off by following your commands entirely?
  155. He feels he could organise everyone's lives far better than them. I feel I could organise his life better than him. We are both aware that it is not actually like that.
  157. 106. If you encountered the tulpa phenomenon as a non-tulpa, would you believe in it?
  158. I would like to say yes, though I depending on the situation I might dismiss it.
  160. 107. How well can you articulate yourself? Can your creator hear you audibly? How much does your experience correlate with the experience of tulpa creator G|d30n, printed below?
  162. "Yes. I'm able to hear her as though she's an external sound. For those who haven't experienced that with their tulpae yet, it's a little bit like listening to a binaural recording--not a binaural beat, but like a 3D sound recording you'd find on Youtube, such as the Virtual Barbershop. That is to say, it's an external sound that can come in from various directions, but the source sounds very close, like someone speaking directly into your ear. I sort of wonder if this effect will be diminished and normalized through imposition."
  164. I can articulate just as well as he, though he cannot physically hear me just yet.
  166. 107. If you are imposed, is your creator able to discern a spatial dimension to your voice?
  167. No.
  169. 109. What advice would you give to a new tulpa creator?
  170. Assume sentience over everything.
  172. 111. From your perspective, is there a sensory difference between the physical, atomic world and the mental world of visualized "wonderlands"? If so, how would you describe this difference?
  173. Yes. The headspace is definitely less consistent.
  175. 112. Is there anything that you don't think this survey covered that you would like to mention?
  176. Did not ask much about how people feel about telling their friends and family about tulpamancy. I think it's a pretty important question and fundamentally different than talking about it online.
RAW Paste Data