Jesse Dev Logs 5

[23:11] Ethan Hawke whispers: ... I need.
[23:11] Ethan Hawke whispers: I need blood. I-
[23:11] Jesse Hawke whispers: Ethan...
[23:11] Ethan Hawke whispers: It can't be cured. It's a lie. It's just getting worse.
[23:18] Jesse puts his hands on his brothers shoulders. He speaks... not caring about the shadows dancing out of the corner of his eyes. From the bottom of his heart, he wanted to give his brother courage. Some kind of strength to survive. To get through this. He tries his best-

"Ethan... listen to me. You're so strong... ever since we were kids, even though I was the older one. You always wanted to go on adventures. Do things. See the world. Become something... more." Jesse couldn't bare the thought of losing like this again. To have tried so hard to do something to change his brothers fate - even if it was once misguided - to have all that effort crash down on him now would be heartbreaking.

Admitting his brothers strength was something he hated, honestly. He trained so hard to be a star, yet time and time again his brother outperformed. For once? Jesse was betting on that tenacity. Hoping that it'd work out in the end - solely because of whoit was.

"You're more than this, Ethan. I promise. It's not a lie. You can't let it be."
(Jesse Hawke)
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[23:26] Ethan watched as his brother took the time to admit he wasn't as good, that he wasn't the best and that their brotherly rivalry had long been decided. Jesse giving up on something that he was convinced he could change seemed to finally reach him. His gaze wasn't directed at some empty space, but instead directly towards his older sibling. He remained silent for a while. Dead silent. He even stopped moving. It was as if his entire body was processing the information that had been said before he could give some sort of response.

Finally, he shook his head. His dry lips parted, the cracks in them due to a lack of water tore apart at his skin, as his words tore apart at hearts.

"... Then why? Why is it so difficult?! Why do I feel like I'd rather die than go on another day?! My life is Hell! I hate it! I can't stand it anymore! I've made mistakes that I can't change and... I feel so powerless! I don't even know if I even have someone waiting for me anymore! All I've heard is that Dawn was searching for her— and I can't even go out to try to bring her into a safe place! I just- I can't. I can't anymore Jesse. I shouldn't have left. I should've apologized- compromised and... Tried to do this without bringing problems."

He was losing it.
(Ethan Hawke)
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[23:27] Anise Ixis says, "Oh hello again."
[23:27] Sectim Wolfhart says, "Hello Anise."
[23:27] Anise Ixis asks, "How are you?"
[23:28] Sectim Wolfhart asks, "good and you? I heard the the shogun requested to see me? or was I missinformed?"
[23:29] Anise Ixis says, "I'm not sure."
[23:29] Anise Ixis says, "Haven't seen him in a bit."
[23:29] Sectim Wolfhart says, "Ah. I see."
[23:29] Anise Ixis asks, "I see you've brought another friend?"
[23:30] Sectim Wolfhart says, "Indeed."
[23:30] Watching the Charmer speak to these people, she observes carefully as she stands guard. Covered in armor, she was good at being a bodyguard, though she stayed close.
(Izabell Mouren)
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[23:30] Anise Ixis asks, "Is she as good of a fight as you?"
[23:30] Anise Ixis says, "I'm Anise by the way."
[23:30] Anise she tells the stranger
(Anise Ixis)
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[23:30] Reito had gotten a bit closer to the two brothers, as Jesse admitted something hard - even Reito knew it was no doubt hard for him. The Kitsune remained silent, merely listening to them now. As Ethan admitted how he was feeling, the Minister simply allowed the pair of them to have their moment, even as more people filtered into the square.
(Reito)
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[23:31] The black swordsman would nudge the Young woman in order to let her make the présentations.
(Sectim Wolfhart)
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[23:32] Looks to the woman who had addressed her, and an added introduction. This was odd that other cities payed attention to herself, though she mostly stayed in the back. At times like this, Izabell had hoped she got to fight that demon back there, but oh well. Still, she looked to the Charmer, waiting to see if he wanted her to speak.
(Izabell Mouren)
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[23:32] Izabell Mouren says, "Izabell."
[23:33] Cheska Toryia whispers something.
[23:33] Mikiko whispers something.
[23:33] Cheska Toryia whispers something.
[23:33] Mikiko whispers something.
[23:33] Mikiko whispers something.
[23:33] Anise Ixis says, "Nice to meet you. Yould you be interested in a spar? Always good to fight new people."
[23:34] Izabell looked to the Charmer for confirmation.
(Izabell Mouren)
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[23:36] Mikiko whispers something.
[23:36] Cheska Toryia whispers something.
[23:36] Mikiko whispers something.
[23:37] Cheska Toryia whispers something.
[23:38] Mikiko whispers something.
[23:38] Mikiko whispers something.
[23:38] Sectim had just nudged Izabell, but seemed like she was waiting for Something. no sure of what she was on about he would Simply move on to the présentations.

"This is Lady Mouren. One of my strongest and most loyals soldier and also, my future wife… She can handle herself in battle just as much as I can if that can answer your questions… If you wish to spar with her I see no objections as long as she is willing."
(Sectim Wolfhart)
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[23:39] Anise looks to the woman brow raised in question
(Anise Ixis)
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[23:40] Anise Ixis says, "Congratulations also I suppose."
[23:40] Mikiko stares at Izabell closely, shaking her head at their degeneracy.
(Mikiko)
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[23:42] Izabell Mouren says, "I accept your challenge."
[23:42] Anise Ixis asks, "To the dojo then?"
[23:42] Mikiko says, "Ohh, battle."
[23:42] Mikiko says, "I would like to see this."
[23:42] Jesse was already starting to shed some tears. The shadows danced around his vision now, pitch black visions flicking in and out of his perception. They were after his blood. Whispering that they'd see him again the moment he shut his eyes. His brother was screaming in his face, breaking down in front of him. That broken sight... those tired eyes.

Something in his heart just wouldn't let this go. To see a cry for help like this from someone he cared about - it drove back the darkness. His nightmares would come no mater what he did. He could still reach out to his brother however.

"So what if you shouldn't have?!" He wasn't screaming, just very impassioned. "You're here, Ethan. You've made it this far... you've held up for so long and I'm proud of you! But if you lose out now, after all this - you'll never get a shot like it again." He insists!

"I know you can make it, bro. Vanika, too. No matter what mistakes you've made... I know you wouldn't love someone you can't believe in, right?" No matter what kind of an absolute fucking clown of a man his brother would turn out to be - he was a lover. Jesse tries to place faith back in his brother, smiling in spite of it all.

"You can't stop, Ethan. I'm sure... she'd go through the same if it meant seeing you again too."
(Jesse Hawke)
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[23:42] Izabell Mouren says, "I will follow in persuit."
[23:45] Reito spoke up, growing nearer now, simply to echo on Jesse's sentiments,

"You've worked really hard Ethan, you can't give up now," she said simply. She didn't know anything about this Vanika person, so she left that topic alone. But to see some sort of emotional reaction from the blue haired Hawke due to his condition and the effects it had on him moved her, and Jesse's reaction to seeing such a sight... Well... It was something she had come to really expect from him. It didn't surprise her, and she was rather thankful that they at least had each other.
(Reito)
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[23:50] "I don't even know if she'd do that anymore! She probably thinks I'm dead— or that I left her out there on her own with her troubles! I- I didn't even write a letter, either, because I don't even know how I'd manage to get it to her and I'm afraid that she'd get caught out and killed if someone managed to find her! It's my fault, Jesse. It doesn't matter how proud of me anyone is if the one I'm doing this for just... dies..!"

It was clear that the effects of withdrawal mixing with emotions were getting to him. He wasn't able to see straight, to think straight. It felt like the world was crumbling down on him and that nothing he could do would change a damn thing.

"I.. need to go. I need to get her. If... If I can't— I'll find a way. Even if it means going back."

Was this the addiction speaking or his heart? It was hard to tell.
(Ethan Hawke)
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[23:53] Jesse Hawke says, "Ethan... none of this is your fault."
[23:59] Jesse shakes his head-

"You've been suffering for so long you've started to blame yourself! You can't keep thinking that the worst thing is going to happen all the time or you'll go crazy!" As if he wasn't already, huh? "She isn't going to die!"

"Don't go. It'll be a mistake you could never take back if it goes wrong... you know that."
(Jesse Hawke)
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[00:00] Ethan Hawke exclaims, "It'll be a mistake I can never take back if I let something happen to her!"
[00:01] * You have been awarded 2 Roleplay Points! *
[00:01] Jesse Hawke exclaims, "She doesn't need you to save her!"
[00:01] Jesse Hawke exclaims, "She needs you to save yourself first!"
[00:02] Reito says, "You aren't thinking clearly. Once you are, you'll be in a good position to help her."
[00:03] Ethan Hawke says, "I can-"
[00:03] Ethan Hawke says, "I can do both."
[00:03] Ethan Hawke says, "I'll do both."
[00:03] Ethan Hawke says, "I have to do both."
[00:04] Jesse Hawke says, "Not at the same time."
[00:04] Ethan Hawke says, "Y-"
[00:05] A punch is sent straight towards Jesse's gut.

"You said I was strong enough to do anything, right?! Then I'll do it!"

He was definitely out of his mind.
(Ethan Hawke)
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[00:07] Jesse takes the hit - honestly having not expected it. He recoils in pain, doubling over as he stumbles backwards!

"Stop, Ethan!" He chokes out, standing back upright. "You can't throw it all away... you're so close!"
(Jesse Hawke)
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[00:08] Reito exclaims, "Ethan please stop!"
[00:09] Ethan Hawke exclaims, "It'd be throwing it all away not to care about her!"
[00:09] Reito exclaims, "You can care about her but you have to care about yourself, too!"
[00:11] Reito says, "You won't be able to save her if you're spacing out like you have been, or rocking back and forth."
[00:11] Reito asks, "If you need to fight to save her, how can you if you can't even focus?"
[00:12] Jesse looks in the background.

Yo... it was fucking ZERIEL! A wave of reassurance washed over him.

"It'd be not caring about her to throw yourself away like this!" He insists.
(Jesse Hawke)
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[00:12] Jesse Hawke says, "Ethan, come on."
[00:12] Ethan Hawke exclaims, "I'm not throwing myself away!"
[00:12] Ethan Hawke exclaims, "I just- I can't let her risk that much!"
[00:13] Reito says, "You are."
[00:14] Ethan shook his head, hands moving up to Jesse's shoulder in an attempt to push him out of the way.

"I need to go get her. I can't sit here while she's being hunted."
(Ethan Hawke)
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[00:17] She had just gotten grievously injured and yet she was almost ready to fight a new battle.

"Ethan!" she called out, when he went to shove Jesse out of the way, "You can't leave while you're still so horrendously addicted, and I for one will not let you. It's a mistake, and one that I'm determined to prevent you from making!"

Not for herself, but for someone else instead.
(Reito)
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[00:19] Jesse Hawke says, "Ethan... I can't let you go. That's the bottom line."
[00:20] Jesse aims to move back in front of his brother as he's pushed out of the way.

"As a member of the Fourfold. I'm bound to make sure you don't leave these walls without permission... especially when you're like this." He sighs.

"That's just how it is. No matter how much you want to see her. I'm... sorry."
(Jesse Hawke)
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[00:23] It almost felt like there wasn't even a moment of hesitation in Ethan's actions as his brother got back in front of him. He was driven by both the best and worst parts of him at once, turning him in a rather... Chaotic mess, one that wasn't too keen on listening to reason. A burst of fire exploded forth in Jesse's direction as he got in the way again.

"I'm not the one who picked your life! I don't have to listen to you— Just let me go, idiot!"

He was definitely out of his mind.
(Ethan Hawke)
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[00:28] Jesse for better or worse... was not equipped with a sword. Or staff. Nor magic, really.

Instead, he simply bolsters himself and plants his feet firmly in the ground. He was fully prepared to simply wrestle his brother down if he kept trying to go. The wave of fire washes over him, his magic shielding him from most of the searing flames.

"Ethan! Stop!"

He plunges forward, aiming to tackle his brother to the ground!
(Jesse Hawke)
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[00:30] Reito, instead of conjuring magic, moves forward and as Jesse aims to tackle his brother the Minister aims to actually whack the younger brother upside his noggin.
(Reito)
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[00:31] Ramsey exclaims, "Okay, okay!"
[00:31] Ramsey exclaims, "Where is he?!"
[00:33] Mikiko whispers something.
[00:34] Mikiko whispers something.
[00:34] Mikiko whispers something.
[00:34] Zeriel Heifang whispers something.
[00:34] Jesse looks at Zeriel Heifang save his brother by walking away.

A real hero...
(Jesse Hawke)
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[00:35] Dhyne slowly, gingerly and with a discrete grimace pushes herself away from the wall, hands moving into her pockets as she steps away from the two.
(Dhyne)
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[00:35] Dhyne says, "I am not his keeper. Try elsewhere."
[00:35] The girl hupped up to her feet and ended up walking over towards a man with a rather cool hat. Nanako couldn't help but stare at this hat. It was a cool hat. She found herself wondering where the man had even gotten it.

"Umm...! Excuse me. Where'd you get that hat...? It's kind of cool!" Nanako stated, looking up at the man.
(Nanako)
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[00:40] Ramsey just frowns in response to her cold attitude, eyes, peering down at the ground. Why was everyone being so short with him? Well, two people weren't really 'everyone', but it was close enough to leave an impact.

His golden eyes travel back up once the girl calls out to him, however.

"This hat? Thank you. It's uh.. I made it myself, actually. I'm something like a tailor, on top of also being a courier. Ramsey is the name!"
(Ramsey)
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[00:42] Staring up at Ramsey's hat, the Kitsune's eyes widen!

"Wowww! So kawaii!" He would declare "I wish I had a desu-desu hat like that! I just have this flower." He declared, a hand moving to rest on the small decoration in his hair.

Then, his attention span is merely gone as he steps away to go see what others were doing.
(Emiri)
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[00:43] Ramsey asks, ".. kawaii?"
[00:43] Ramsey asks, "desu-desu?"
[00:43] Mikiko says, "Kill it."
[00:44] Ramsey says, "I don't know what those things mean."
[00:44] What a battle it was. Do you know how hard it is to put down a magi using only your bare hands? Ridiculously so, especially when Ethan Hawke himself was the one you were up against. Reito and Jesse tackle pounce and wrestle with him for what felt like hours.

In the end, it was down to just the brothers.

It looked like they had stopped holding back - if only for a moment. The flurry of movement that follows is swift, sudden. Jesse trying with effort to bring his brother to the dirt. The final push comes in the form of a hand enhanced with lightning. It drives him down to the ground, Jesse putting his weight atop Ethan and pinning him finally!

"...I really didn't want it to be like this." He laments.