Cleanliness Is Next to Spookiness

>Another gloomy morning at Grimwood’s Finishing School.
>As usual, it was hard to see the sun through the thick, grey clouds that hovered above.
>It was even harder to see it within the school’s cellar.
>The only thing that lit it up was a large number of golden and jewel encrusted artifacts.
>Many of them were scattered across the floor and several more hanged off of shelves.
>Matching all of these relics was a large golden sarcophagus that leaned against one of the cellar walls, showing just how towering it was.
>As morning came, a faint noise could be heard within the sarcophagus.
>Suddenly, it begins to open.
>A pair of glowing eyes shot through the dark inside and deathly groan can be heard.
>With a couple more groans, the eyes look around and a foot begins to step out of the sarcophagus.
>Just as it hits the ground, the eyes widen and a loud yelp is heard.
>That’s when Tanis, the school’s youngest student falls out of her resting place and on to the floor, clenching her foot.
>”Owie! Owie! Owie!”
>Tanis manages to sit up and whimpers at her injured foot.
>”What was that? What did I step on?”
>The little mummy reaches from underneath her and pulls out a rather sharp-looking gold statue of a scorpion.
>”Oh…”
>Tanis manages to step carefully around the mess on her floor and place the statue on a shelf.
>”My room’s gotten so messy lately.”
>Tanis steps away from the shelf and looks around her room.
>”Maybe I should clean it sometime this week.”
>Just as she was about to leave, Tanis trips on another object and falls backwards against the shelf.
>The statue and several other very heavy objects proceed to fall on her, each being followed with a yelp.
>After the avalanche, Tanis' body props up with the neck stub looking down at the head still on the floor.
>"Or... today might be good."

>Tanis stretches a pair of rubber gloves onto her bandaged hands.
>She carries a broom, some cleaning solution, rags, and a couple garbage bags down to her room.
>She sets her things down and observes the place.
>”Well, time to get started… but what do I start with?”
>It was no wonder Tanis’ room was located in the cellar.
>She had a lot to carry including magical scrolls, cursed artifacts, magical artifacts, cursed scrolls, busts of Anubis, busts of the gods that aren’t Anubis, and candy wrappers.
>Whether it was an important relic of the royal family that she has sworn to protect, or just a little gift her dad sent to her from Egypt, just about everything in this room would make you believe you were in a museum exhibit.
>If it weren’t all so unorganized that is, and Tanis certainly didn’t know how she’d fix that.
>”Hmm. Maybe I should start with the big stuff.”
>Tanis reached for a large gold statue and attempted to pull it out.
>Emphasis on “attempted,” the poor thing couldn’t even get it to budge.
>She refused to give up and tried to give it another pull.
>Third time’s the charm she thinks to herself as she tries yet again.
>Wasn’t until the sixth try that Tanis ends up snapping her own boney arms off and promptly falls on her back.
>”This is harder than I thought.” Tanis says to herself, trying to ignore the pain.
>Just then, a loud boom is heard and down the stairs comes Tanis’ bedroom door.
>Following the door, Winnie the werewolf comes tumbling down.
>”HEY SQUIRT!” Winnie picks her head up to greet her friend and then scurries over to her. ”What cha doin’? Lyin’ on the floor? Cool! Anyway, thanks for letting me borrow your notes!”
>Winnie drops a small pile of spit-covered, papery mush on the ground which Tanis looks horrified at.
>”W-What did you do to them?” Tanis asks.
>”I chewed on them! Welp, gotta go!” Winnie was just about to exit
>"Wait!" Tanis stops her, "Can you please help me! My arms snapped off!”
>Winnie turns back to Tanis, “Why did you snap your arms off?”
>”It wasn’t on purpose,” Tanis argues, “I was trying to pull this statue out.”
>Winnie looks at the statue Tanis is referring to and then proceeds to nonchalantly walk over and lift up the statue like it’s nothing.
>”This statue?” Winnie asks with a toothy grin.
>Tanis looks in amazement at just how easy that was for her furry friend, and an idea pops up in her head.
>”Um, Winnie… Are you busy at all today?”

>Winnie looks at her now gloved hands with discomfort.
>”Why do I gotta wear these again?” she looks to Tanis who just smiles at her.
>”To keep dirt off your hands.”
>Winnie just raises an eyebrow, “You’re a little late there, buddy.”
>Tanis proceeds to pick up a broom.
>”Listen, Tanis,” Winnie tries to stop her, “I love you like the little sister I want to strangle, but… cleaning’s not really my thing.”
>Winnie stretches on one of her gloves causing her claws to poke through, “I mean, my ma always tells me once I get myself a man he’d be the one in charge of cleaning whether he likes it or not. Just like pa.”
>Tanis doesn’t seem to be paying any attention to Winnie and instead reaches out for something.
>”So, I can’t say I’d be much help. You’d probably be better off asking someone who… isn’t me, y’know? Someone like... like...“
>Tanis reveals what she was reaching for to Winnie, which turns out to be a full box of Scooby Snacks.
>”... Like I said, Tanis! I’d be more than happy to help you clean up!”
>Tanis pulls out a Scooby Snack and throws it to Winnie who catches it in her mouth.
>”Good girl! Okay, so can you start with that statue?”
>Winnie salutes Tanis, “On it!”
>Again, without even trying, Winnie lifts up the statue and brings it to the side.
>She turns back to Tanis who is lining up some strange looking pots.
>”What are those?” She asks.
>”These are my canopic jars,” Tanis responds, “Each one has one of my organs in them. This one has my heart. This one has my lungs. This one has my brain.”
>Tanis pulls out another jar, “Oh, and this one has my self-respect.”
>Winnie looks inside the jar.
>It’s empty.

>Tanis sets a few staffs and large ankhs up against her sarcophagus so she can finish sweeping.
>”Things are really starting to look up now,” she cheerfully announces, “Winnie, did you put all the busts in order?”
>Winnie was just looking through something before Tanis calls to her.
>”Huh?” Winnie picks her head up, “Sorry, I found one of your coloring books and got distracted. I used to love these things as a kid.”
>Winnie shows Tanis one of her ancient scrolls now with several images and hieroglyphics crudely colored in.
>Tanis’ eyes widen.
>”WINNIE!!! …You didn’t stay in the lines!” Tanis snatches the scroll away from her and scoffs as she looks it over, “And Osiris is green, not blue!”
>Winnie crosses her arms and looks away with her nose in the air.
>”Well, I think he looks better that way!”
>MEANWHILE IN DUAT
>Osiris ponders in front of a large mirror.
>”Hmmm, she may have a point.” He mumbles to himself.
>BACK IN THE MORTAL REALM
>Winnie finishes organizing Tanis’ many busts, taking notice how most of them are of a jackal head.
>”So, why are most of these the same guy?”
>”That’s Anubis,” Tanis responds, “He got a lot of treasures and monuments back in the day. I guess you’d want to show plenty of respect to the one who’s taking you to the afterlife.”
>Tanis giggles a bit.
>”Though, some did say he was a bit of a… ‘glory hound’.”
>Suddenly, the door once again comes crashing down, startling Tanis and Winnie.
>Sibella Dracula comes stomping down the stairs and gives Tanis a sour look.
>”PUNS… ARE MY DEPARTMENT!”

>The floor is all cleaned up, but now the shelves still need work.
>The two ghouls stare at one in particular that’s cluttered, especially with rather heavy looking items.
>”Is it even supposed to carry that much?” Winnie asks as she places one of her paws on it.
>Just as she makes contact, the whole shelf collapses into a broken mess.
>”Guess that answers that.”
>”Oh no,” Tanis rushes over with a worried expression, “I hope nothing fragile was in there!”
>”Don’t worry about it,” Winnie pats Tanis on the back, “I break stuff all the time, and it’s nothing a little glue and scotch tape can’t solve.”
>Tanis digs around through the wreckage.
>”That wouldn’t do much here,” she nervously responds, “A lot of the fragile items are cursed, and if they are ever shattered their dark powers are unleashed!”
>Winnie tilts her head.
>”They all function like that?”
>”It was a very popular style 3,000 years ago,” Tanis continues to look at each artifact, “Now help me look before-“
>Before she can finish, a large swarm of locusts burst out of the wreckage with the power of a boulder.
>The two ghouls scream and fall back.
>”Oh no! The Amulet of Consumption has shattered! Set’s locusts are free!”
>The swarm bursts through one of the small windows within the cellar and the sounds of them terrorizing bystanders outside can be heard for miles.
>Tanis and Winnie look at each other.
>Before Tanis can say anything, Winnie interrupts her.
>”Alright, if anyone asks… Phanty did it.”

>Finally, after hours of work, the two finally finish cleaning up.
>Both look around at the now spotless and organized room.
>”I… Think we’re finally done.” Tanis says with a slight pant.
>”Yep,” Winnie responds, “And I managed to fix the shelf, too!”
>Winnie points to the shelf now being held together with glue and scotch tape.
>Tanis stands herself up as Winnie leans up against her.
>”I feel really proud of myself,” Tanis puts her hands on her hips, “I feel like the Tanis of yesterday would’ve never done this.”
>”Well, it’s like what Miss Grimwood always says to me: ‘Winnie, you’d never have to go through this if you just kept things neat.’”
>Winnie turns to Tanis.
>”I usually just ignore her, but maybe you can benefit from that, Squirt.” Winnie tussles Tanis’ bandage hair.
>Tanis ponders for a bit, “You’re right, Winnie. I need to start being more responsible. From now on, I will not let my room get messy ever agai-“
>THE NEXT WEEK
>Tanis awakens from her slumber and opens up her sarcophagus.
>She looks around.
>The floor is a mess, the shelves are unorganized, and there are still locusts buzzing around.
>”Darn…”
THE END.

EPILOGUE
>Within the darkest depths of Duat, Thoth the God of Knowledge rushes to a certain chamber.
>Without hesitation, he opens the doors.
>”Osiris! It’s urgent! We have to-“
>Thoth stops himself and just stares in bewilderment.
>Osiris was there in only a pair of boxers and half of his body covered in blue body paint.
>He holds a paint brush up against his arm as he stairs back at Thoth in shock.
>The two remain silent for a second.
>”You know what… it’s not that urgent. I’ll come back later.”
>Thoth closes the doors and takes his leave.