AIE Christmas gift: To Act Santa

shukaku20 Dec 24th, 2012 590 Never
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  1. "How did I get talked into this...?"
  2. >Looking at yourself in the mirror, you adjust your pillow gut and red suit.
  3. >"Remember Anon, day wont start until you deliver presents to all the fillys and colts of Equestria."
  4. >Oh yeah, Celestia and Luna, well pretty much Everyp0ny was enamored with the idea of a fat man in a red suit breaking into their house to give them presents.
  5. >And so, the ones who controlled day and night decided they could fuck up the schedule for one day a year, so someone could do just that.
  6. >And since you were the only someone available, you got roped into it.
  7. >"Cadence and Shining will be your elfs to get you in and out of the houses, so don't worry about that."
  8. >Setting the hat on your head, you nod.
  9. "Yeah, we've been over this before."
  10. >Celestia glares at you.
  11. >"Just because this isn't your first Christmas doesn't mean it’s not new for us and we want it to be perfect."
  12. "Yes Miss Claus" You say jokingly.
  13. >You aren't looking at her, but you miss the blush on her cheeks.
  14. >"Lets get going, I'm setting the sun soon."
  15. >The two of you meet Luna on the way to the sleigh, custom made to your descriptions.
  16. >Attached to the front are eight Pegasii, half day guards, the other half night, all specially picked for long distance flight.
  17. >At the head...
  18. "Rainbow!? What are you doing out here, and why do you have a glowing red nose?"
  19. >"Dude, did you think I would let you not have the most awesome pony as your lead reindeer."
  20. >A second glance reveals they indeed have reindeer antlers attached to their heads.
  21. >Huh...
  22. "Alright bro, but do you think you can handle it? It’s gonna be eight hours or more of flying, and not only that, there are few breaks."
  23. >Striking a pose, she says "Pfffft. If these guys can handle it, so can the Dash."
  24. >Shining and Cadence arrive, each sporting a festive green hat with bells.
  25. >Between them, they carry a large burlap sack, bulging with presents.
  26. >As the bag is set in the back, Celestia says "The bag will only give you the presents for the house you are at, so you don't have to worry about screwing up."
  27. "You guys have thought of everything. Why do you need me to be Santa?"
  28. >"Because Blueblood wouldn't wear the suit."
  29. >You have to bite your tongue to keep from laughing at Celestia's joke
  30. >"It’s because you are the only one who would look like Santa, and we all want it to be authentic."
  31. >Climbing into the sleigh, you pick up the reins.
  32. "Now ... Fuck, I realized I don't know any of your names, so I can’t use Santa's takeoff saying."
  33. >"Just use the normal one. It doesn't matter so much this year, but you better have it right next year."
  34. >The look on her face is enough to get you to agree, and you start.
  35. "Now, Dasher! Now, Dancer! now, Prancer and Vixen! On, Comet! on Cupid! on, Donder and Blitzen! To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall! Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!"
  36. >Instead of taking off, they all look at you weird
  37. >"I thought you didn't know our names." One of them says.
  38. >It takes a moment for it to click, and your jaw drops.
  39. "You can't be serious... Can you?"
  40. >"I'm Cloud Dasher."
  41. >"Sun Dancer."
  42. >"Flame Prancer."
  43. >"Fyxe Vixen."
  44. >"Halley Comet."
  45. >"Mine's just Cupid."
  46. >"Just Donder please"
  47. >"Bolt Blitzen"
  48. >"Hey, Why isn't Rudolph in this?" Dash asks.
  49. "We're wasting time here, let’s just take off and go. I can tell you more tomorrow."
  50. >Only slightly perturbed, the lot of your Pegasii take off, and soon you are soaring over Canter lot.
  51. >"According to this, we are doing Canterlot last. First, to Ponyville." Shining says your new official navigator.
  52. >Bringing the sleigh about, you zoom off towards Ponyville, the elf hats jingling in the wind.
  53. >First stop, Fluttershy.
  54. >Digging into the bag, you pull out a rather disturbingly human shaped package and Cadence teleports you inside.
  55. >Setting it beside her fireplace, since ponys don’t have trees set up, you creep towards the door, glad to be leaving yellowfetish's house.
  56. >"Is Mistletoe your *Yawn* Fetish Anon?" A sleepy voice asks
  57. >Looking behind you, you see Fluttershy standing there, half asleep with a bundle of mistletoe on her head.
  58. "No its not." You say, shaking your head "But this is a human tradition, nothing more."
  59. >Stepping over, you give her a quick kiss, before Cadence's magic pulls you back to the sleigh.
  60. >Taking up the reins, you move to the next house.
  61. >Halfway through town, you come to Sugarcube Corner.
  62. >Pinkie's present is surprisingly small, and along with the other presents, it only takes one trip.
  63. >Twilight's looks like a book, unsurprisingly, and Spikes has the makings of a large gem.
  64. >More houses and more presents, you find yourself becoming better and faster at it.
  65. >Colgate's gift looks like it’s a giant toothbrush, and Doctor Hooves gets a strange looking clock.
  66. >Finishing Ponyville within an hour, you take the sleigh to Cloudsdale, the next city on the list.
  67. >By the time you finish Appleoosa, you are nearing the end of the list, and it has been nearly eight hours.
  68. >A rather apple shaped present for Braeburn, and a dozen plus others for the Apples, and you move on.
  69. >Reaching Canterlot, everyp0ny is getting tired, but they are all also determined to see this through.
  70. >two thousand, six hundred and fifty four houses total, ninety seven mansions and three dozen assorted shacks and tents, and you finally finish.
  71. >The moment you land, your Pegasii are all whisked away by Luna, who is waiting for you.
  72. >"They have all been sent to rooms in the same hall as you. Their presents are in the bag as well, so be sure to deliver them on your way there."
  73. >Nodding, you take the bag, and reach inside.
  74. >Out of it comes a box labeled Luna, and you hand it to her.
  75. "Merry Christmas Luna and I will see you tomorrow morning."
  76. >"Merry Christmas to you as well Anonymous."
  77. >Dropping presents outside the doors, you finally find the bag empty.
  78. >Reaching for your doorknob, you open it to find Celestia, all wrapped up in ribbons.
  79. >"I felt for all this work, you deserved a special present, Anonymous. Why don't you come over and open it?"
  80. >God you love Christmas
  83. Merry Christmas AIE!
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