Za Lord's Militai

Toot-toot's chest swelled out, and he stood a little bit straighter.
"Second," I told him. "I need to know how many of the little folk you could convince to join the Guard for one night."
He frowned and looked dubious. "I don't know, Lord Harry. The pizza ration is already stretched as far as it can go."
I waved a hand. "The Guard's pay won't change. I'll order extra to pay for the new guys' service. Call them the Za-Lord's Militia. We only need them sometimes. How many do you think would agree to that?"
Toot buzzed in an excited circle. "For you? Every sprite and pixie and dewdrop faerie within a hundred miles knows that you saved our kind from being imprisoned by the Lady of the Cold Eyes! There's not a one who didn't have comrade or kin languishing in durance vile!"
I blinked at him. "Oh," I said. "Well. Tell them that there may be great danger. Tell them that if they wish to join the Militia, they must obey orders while they serve. And I will pay them one large pizza for every fourscore volunteers."
"That's less than you pay the Guard, Harry," Toot said smugly.
"Well, they're amateurs, not full-time veterans like you and your men, are they?"
"Yes, my lord!"
I looked at him seriously. "If you can recruit a Militia and if they perform as asked, there's a promotion in it for you, Toot."
His eyes widened. "Does it come with cheese in the crust and extra toppings?"
"It isn't a pizza." I said. "It's a promotion. Get this work done, and from that time forward, you will be..." I paused dramatically. "Major-General Toot-toot Minimus commanding the Za-Lord's Elite."
Toot's body practically convulsed in a spasm of excitement. Had a giant yellow exclamation point suddenly appeared in the air over his head, I would not have been surprised. "A Major-General?"
I couldn't resist. "Yes, yes," I said solemnly. "A Major-General."
He let out a whoop of glee and zipped up and down the little space between vans. "What do you wish us to do when I have them, my lord!"
"I want you to play," I said. "Here's what we're going to do…”


Turn Coat Chapter 38, Page 365-366