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Sunscreen

draxar Jun 21st, 2013 37 Never
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  1. Ladies and Gentlemen of Odyssey Year Four: Wear sunscreen.
  2.  
  3. If I could offer you only one tip for events, sunscreen would be it.
  4.  
  5. If you don't wear sunscreen, the First Aiders will glare at you whilst they give you aftersun, whereas the rest of my advice has no more basis more reliable than my meandering experiences as a member of the quest crew.
  6.  
  7. I will dispense this advice, now.
  8.  
  9. Accept the power and divinity of the gods. ...nevermind, you will not accept the power and divinity of the gods until they have cursed you. But trust me, in a few events time, you'll look back and go at your plans and realise in a way you can't grasp now, how transparent and simple they were.
  10.  
  11. You're not in as much trouble as you imagine.
  12.  
  13. Don't worry about the renown; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to clean the Augean stables by drinking wine.
  14.  
  15. The real troubles with your gods are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind. The kind that turn up in your tent at 4am on Saturday night.
  16.  
  17. Do one thing every day that would scare even Small Brave Man.
  18.  
  19. Fight.
  20.  
  21. Don't be reckless with other people's greater mysteries, don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.
  22.  
  23. Sacrifice
  24.  
  25. Don't waste your time on fear;
  26. Sometimes you're hitting,
  27. Sometimes you're being hit.
  28. The battle is long, and in the end, it's only with yourself.
  29.  
  30. Remember the announcements made for you, forget the heckles;
  31. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.
  32.  
  33. Keep your old lesser mysteries, throw away your old horoscopes.
  34.  
  35. Fight
  36.  
  37. Don't feel guilty if you're not sure what path you want to play. The most interesting characters I've encountered changed their path after their first event. Some of the most interesting characters I know are still thinking about changing after their sixth event.
  38.  
  39. Get plenty of quintessence.
  40.  
  41. Be kind to your attendants, you'll miss them when they're gone.
  42.  
  43. Maybe you'll die, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll get a death audience, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll be resurrected, maybe you'll be turned into one of El's mindless slaves slowly destroying all that's good in the world
  44.  
  45. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either.
  46. Your battles are half chance, so are everyone else's.
  47.  
  48. Enjoy your warband, help them every way you can. Don't be afraid of them, or what other people think of them.
  49.  
  50. They're the greatest companions you'll ever have.
  51.  
  52. Have funerals, even if there's no-one there but one priest and the corpse.
  53.  
  54. Read the event rules, even if you don't remember them
  55.  
  56. Do not read the Minotaur's answers, they will only confuse you.
  57.  
  58. Get to know your gods, you never know when they'll be gone for good.
  59.  
  60. Be nice to your philosophers.
  61. They are the best link to the power of Mysteries, and the people most likely to heal your injuries in the future
  62.  
  63. Understand that territories come and go, but for the strategic locations you should hold on to.
  64.  
  65. Work hard to maintain the routes betwen your territories, because the longer the game goes on, the more you need the tribute you're getting from them.
  66.  
  67. Play in Carthage once, but leave before the religion makes you crazy.
  68. Play in Persia once, but leave before the hospitality makes you fat.
  69.  
  70. Quest.
  71.  
  72. Accept certain inalienable truths; sacrifice demands will rise, priests will scheme, you too will be hit by an arrow.
  73.  
  74. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you started playing, sacrifce amounts were reasonable, priests were noble, and characters respected their gods.
  75.  
  76. Respect your gods.
  77.  
  78. Don't expect anyone else to support you.
  79. Maybe you have an alliance, maybe you have the Shah-en-Shah; but you never know when either one might disappear.
  80.  
  81. Don't spend too long in the World Forge, or by the time you're 40, you will look 85.
  82.  
  83. Be careful whose oracles you follow, but be patient with those who see the future. Prophecy is a form of madness, dispensing it is a way of fishing around in the brains of the gods, wiping off the blood, turning it into a riddle, then making it sound more important than it really is.
  84.  
  85. But trust me on the sunscreen...
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