The Hustle (2019)

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Subtitles by explosiveskull

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Hey, man. Can I get
two vodka sodas, please?

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Sure.

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Thank you.
You know what?

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Go ahead and keep that
for yourself, all right?

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Oh, thanks, man.

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Yeah, I can't wait
to meet you, too, Madison.

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Oh, those babies are legit.

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Jeremy?

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Uh, no, sorry.

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- But this is you, isn't it?
- Well, yeah,

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- but you can't be...
- Yeah, Madison.

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Yeah, I am.

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Joke! Oh, my God.

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- You should see your face.
- Oh, my God.

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- No, obviously I'm not her.
- Okay. Oh, man.

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- No. 'Course I'm not Madison.
- Thank Christ!

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Because honestly
I was shitting myself there.

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I mean, no offense.

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Oh, none taken.

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It's really risky
meeting people online.

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You never know if people
are gonna be as ugly

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on the outside
as they are on the inside.

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- Yeah, right, exactly.
- Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

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I'm sorry,
is Madison on her way?

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Uh, no, no, no.
Madison's not coming.

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What? Why?

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Well, she sent me to see

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if you were truly
in love with her

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and clearly you're not,
so goodbye, Jeremy.

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Wait! No, no, no, wait.

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Of course I love her.

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I have been texting with her
for, like, a frigging month!

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This is the girl that I'm
gonna let keep my babies

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and I will pay her
her due child support.

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I will visit
every other weekend

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and say hi to the kids
and put 'em on my lap

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and whatever you do, okay?

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That is how much I love her.
I swear to Christ!

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But can you love
her birth defect?

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'Course I can.

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I mean,
it's on the inside, right?

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Like, it's in her brain
or in her heart?

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When Madison was born,
she was born with A cups.

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- No, but her photos, they...
- Yeah.

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What you're looking at there
is expert contouring

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and well-placed
chicken cutlets.

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She's really a double-A,

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if I'm gonna be, like,
honest with you.

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A triple-A in some brands.

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Basically, if her tits
were batteries,

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they'd go into a watch.

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That's why she didn't
wanna come here

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and meet you in real life.

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Well, not until she has
the boob job, anyways.

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Wait, she's getting
a boob job?

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When is that happening, then?

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- In a year.
- A year?

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Well, silicone doesn't
just grow on trees.

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- She has to save up.
- Well, how much does she need?

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Just, like, $300.

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500 if she's gonna
go full bouncy castle.

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Okay.

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You know what?

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Tell her I'll give her
the $500.

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I just want her to be happy.

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- That is so selfless of you.
- I know.

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Do you prefer Venmo or PayPal?

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Venmo's fine.

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That's her!
The fake tit-job bitch!

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Get her!

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I needed a new scene anyway.

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She stole
my money, man!

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Move!
Out of my way, come on!

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Hey, where do I send
the money?

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Go!

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Hey, stop that woman!

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Hey, you! Stop!

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Go after her! Quick!

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You let her get away!

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Well, at least we didn't
give her $500 first! Idiot.

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Trashy dress,
you did it again.

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Hmph!

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Begone!
You French women are bad luck!

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And shave your armpits.
Please.

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Well, come on, deal again!

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Our apologies, <i>monsieur,</i>
but you are out of credit.

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Hold on,
I may have a solution.

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How's this for credit?

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It's beautiful, <i>monsieur.</i>
But I cannot accept it.

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Why the hell not?

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I'm afraid

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rumor has it that you are
selling your wife's jewels

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to bankroll
your gambling debts.

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That is an outrageous slur!

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Hey. Whiskey.

97
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Uh, excuse me? Excuse me?

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How much
are the red ones worth?

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- Uh, one thousand.
- And the blue ones?

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Five thousand.

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I love that game

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with the wheel and the ball
and the numbers.

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I don't even really know
how to play.

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Hello.

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Uh, hello.

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My name is Mathias Albrecht
von Rüdinger der Kleinzogen

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Hindenburg-an-Sohr.
And you are?

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- Janet.
- Janet.

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What an enchanting name.

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You're American, yes?

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- Yes.
- I'm Danish.

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Like the pastry?

113
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Yeah. Yeah.

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So, what brings you
to the South of France?

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An airplane.

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Yes, and why are you here?

117
00:07:10,537 --> 00:07:12,536
Oh. Well, um...

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I thought
I would treat myself.

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I just won some money
in the lottery.

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Wow. How much did you win?

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$87 million!

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I'm sorry,
I don't speak foreign.

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Janet...

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I have something in my pants

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that I think
you're going to like.

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- Ew.
- No, no, no.

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This.

128
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Oh.

129
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This belonged to my dear mama.

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- May I?
- Yes.

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Sadly, I have to sell it,

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'cause it reminds me
too much of her.

133
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Is it valuable?

134
00:07:42,235 --> 00:07:45,069
It's very valuable, yes.
$500,000.

135
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I like it 'cause it's shiny.

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And you're in luck.
It's for sale.

137
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That's crazy. I...

138
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Do I have enough here?

139
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- How much is this worth?
- That is a coaster.

140
00:07:55,782 --> 00:07:57,581
And sadly, no, you don't.

141
00:07:57,583 --> 00:08:01,488
But maybe you could pay
the difference in another way?

142
00:08:02,989 --> 00:08:05,790
I have a 9:00
dinner reservation.

143
00:08:05,792 --> 00:08:07,259
As do I.

144
00:08:07,261 --> 00:08:09,730
Well, I have my reputation
to think of.

145
00:08:10,230 --> 00:08:11,896
As do I.

146
00:08:11,898 --> 00:08:13,497
I have a boyfriend.

147
00:08:13,499 --> 00:08:14,966
As do I.

148
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Freeze!

149
00:08:16,069 --> 00:08:17,269
Inspector Desjardins

150
00:08:17,271 --> 00:08:19,403
of Beaumont-Sur-Mer police.
Get up.

151
00:08:19,405 --> 00:08:21,338
Okay.
Who sent you? My wife?

152
00:08:21,340 --> 00:08:22,473
Do you take bribes?

153
00:08:22,475 --> 00:08:23,908
Not you. Her.

154
00:08:23,910 --> 00:08:26,177
- She is under arrest.
- What?

155
00:08:26,179 --> 00:08:30,516
Those chips were stolen
from this pathetic old man.

156
00:08:30,518 --> 00:08:33,350
This woman is
an international con artist.

157
00:08:33,352 --> 00:08:35,586
No, no, no.
She's just a dumb American.

158
00:08:35,588 --> 00:08:38,023
No, it's true.
She lured this man

159
00:08:38,025 --> 00:08:39,857
with the promise
of a private performance

160
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of her college
gymnastics routine.

161
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Here.

162
00:08:45,832 --> 00:08:46,998
Hmm?

163
00:08:47,000 --> 00:08:48,235
Now,
give back the bracelet.

164
00:09:06,486 --> 00:09:08,687
It would take
an expert to spot the fake.

165
00:09:08,689 --> 00:09:10,024
- Or his wife.
- Hmm.

166
00:09:10,790 --> 00:09:12,392
Thank you, Albert,

167
00:09:13,159 --> 00:09:14,958
for everything.

168
00:09:14,960 --> 00:09:17,495
Excellent research, Brigitte.
The mark was perfect.

169
00:09:17,497 --> 00:09:18,629
As you always say...

170
00:09:18,631 --> 00:09:21,032
You can't cheat an honest man.

171
00:09:21,034 --> 00:09:22,734
Now, I have a buyer in Zurich,

172
00:09:22,736 --> 00:09:24,705
so I shall see you
in a few days. <i>Au revoir.</i>

173
00:09:42,255 --> 00:09:43,554
- Oh.
- Oh!

174
00:09:45,858 --> 00:09:47,261
Sorry. Comin' through.

175
00:09:51,030 --> 00:09:52,529
I'll take the filet mignon.

176
00:09:52,531 --> 00:09:53,700
Very good, sir.

177
00:09:58,304 --> 00:09:59,739
Is this seat taken?

178
00:10:01,174 --> 00:10:02,474
I'm starving.

179
00:10:02,476 --> 00:10:05,244
I could murder a triple
cheeseburger right now.

180
00:10:05,246 --> 00:10:06,247
Or...

181
00:10:11,785 --> 00:10:14,586
I'll just get
a glass of water, please.

182
00:10:14,588 --> 00:10:17,022
- Is that all, madam?
- Yeah, that's it.

183
00:10:17,024 --> 00:10:19,727
I'll just help myself
to the sugar packets.

184
00:10:20,626 --> 00:10:21,793
They're free, right?

185
00:10:21,795 --> 00:10:23,264
- Yes.
- Yeah.

186
00:10:27,568 --> 00:10:28,769
Mmm.

187
00:10:33,839 --> 00:10:35,373
That'll fill me up.

188
00:10:35,375 --> 00:10:36,807
I've to save all my money

189
00:10:36,809 --> 00:10:38,277
'cause I'm here
to find my sister.

190
00:10:38,279 --> 00:10:39,446
This is her.

191
00:10:40,915 --> 00:10:42,746
- That is your sister?
- Half-sister.

192
00:10:42,748 --> 00:10:44,182
But we're like sisters.

193
00:10:44,184 --> 00:10:45,783
- What's happened to her?
- She's been taken.

194
00:10:45,785 --> 00:10:46,985
Taken? Like...

195
00:10:46,987 --> 00:10:50,322
Like by men who sell
hot white virgins

196
00:10:50,324 --> 00:10:52,624
to evil, bearded
kajillionaires on yachts.

197
00:10:52,626 --> 00:10:54,392
- Really?
- The whole irony is,

198
00:10:54,394 --> 00:10:55,927
it was her friend she was with

199
00:10:55,929 --> 00:10:57,528
who was the massive slut.
Tiffany.

200
00:10:57,530 --> 00:10:58,864
Tiffany is the slut?

201
00:10:58,866 --> 00:11:01,767
So, I roughed up these guys,
and they said to me,

202
00:11:01,769 --> 00:11:05,503
"Premium-grade Australian
meat on auction tomorrow."

203
00:11:05,505 --> 00:11:07,605
That fits my sister's
description perfectly,

204
00:11:07,607 --> 00:11:09,073
- don't you think?
- Yes.

205
00:11:09,075 --> 00:11:10,842
So, I'm gonna get on that boat
and buy her back.

206
00:11:10,844 --> 00:11:13,745
Look, I am very moved
by your story.

207
00:11:13,747 --> 00:11:15,679
- Order anything you like.
- No, no, no.

208
00:11:15,681 --> 00:11:16,780
- Please, no?
- No!

209
00:11:16,782 --> 00:11:18,283
- Please, no?
- No, I couldn't.

210
00:11:18,285 --> 00:11:19,786
Please, I insist.

211
00:11:22,021 --> 00:11:25,121
I'll have a club sandwich,
and an order of fries,

212
00:11:25,123 --> 00:11:26,624
order of onion rings,

213
00:11:26,626 --> 00:11:30,629
I'll take the shrimp cocktail.
Is that good? How fresh is it?

214
00:11:30,631 --> 00:11:33,597
What's the soup of the day?
Is it cold? 'Cause, ew, gross.

215
00:11:33,599 --> 00:11:35,600
That's disgusting.
Why have cold soup?

216
00:11:35,602 --> 00:11:37,001
Just give me a Caesar salad.

217
00:11:37,003 --> 00:11:38,870
And then two slices of cake.

218
00:11:38,872 --> 00:11:40,605
- Do you want any cake?
- No.

219
00:11:40,607 --> 00:11:42,005
Three slices of cake
and a Diet Coke.

220
00:11:42,007 --> 00:11:43,176
Thank you.

221
00:11:47,179 --> 00:11:49,047
Will this
be satisfactory, miss?

222
00:11:49,049 --> 00:11:50,148
Yes, this will do.

223
00:11:50,150 --> 00:11:51,716
Once again, I apologize

224
00:11:51,718 --> 00:11:53,283
for the flickering lights
in coach.

225
00:11:53,285 --> 00:11:55,488
Epilepsy is a cruel mistress.

226
00:11:57,623 --> 00:11:58,758
Thank you.

227
00:12:03,663 --> 00:12:05,666
- Hey.
- Hello.

228
00:12:10,002 --> 00:12:12,571
Forgive me, but I couldn't
help but overhear

229
00:12:12,573 --> 00:12:14,339
your conversation
in the dining car.

230
00:12:14,341 --> 00:12:15,873
- My condolences.
- Hmm?

231
00:12:15,875 --> 00:12:18,142
About your sister's
treacherous predicament.

232
00:12:18,144 --> 00:12:19,480
Oh. She'll be all right.

233
00:12:24,883 --> 00:12:26,518
Hmm.

234
00:12:26,520 --> 00:12:27,851
Do you mind if I ask

235
00:12:27,853 --> 00:12:30,154
how long your sister's been
held against her will?

236
00:12:30,156 --> 00:12:31,990
Oh. Listen, um...

237
00:12:31,992 --> 00:12:33,357
Josephine Chesterfield.

238
00:12:33,359 --> 00:12:34,591
Penny Rust.

239
00:12:34,593 --> 00:12:35,692
Delighted.

240
00:12:35,694 --> 00:12:37,227
Eh, what's up?

241
00:12:37,229 --> 00:12:39,764
Uh, listen, I think this is
gonna be a really long ride

242
00:12:39,766 --> 00:12:42,234
and clearly you're, like,
an exhausting person.

243
00:12:42,236 --> 00:12:43,902
So, I'm just gonna say this.

244
00:12:43,904 --> 00:12:45,736
I don't even have a sister.

245
00:12:45,738 --> 00:12:47,739
Are you saying
you lied to that man?

246
00:12:47,741 --> 00:12:49,640
I don't wanna
say it too loudly.

247
00:12:49,642 --> 00:12:51,411
I'm a con artist.

248
00:12:52,445 --> 00:12:53,879
I con.

249
00:12:53,881 --> 00:12:55,679
But that man
was so kind to you,

250
00:12:55,681 --> 00:12:56,947
and he bought your dinner.

251
00:12:56,949 --> 00:12:59,583
Only after I showed him
a picture of a hot chick.

252
00:12:59,585 --> 00:13:01,419
See, women have feelings.

253
00:13:01,421 --> 00:13:05,091
So, like, you just
had sympathy or pity,

254
00:13:06,193 --> 00:13:08,192
or, I don't know,
the other feeling

255
00:13:08,194 --> 00:13:11,596
and men see that quality in us
and exploit us.

256
00:13:11,598 --> 00:13:13,932
So all I'm doin' is, like...

257
00:13:13,934 --> 00:13:17,033
<i>♪ Put that thing down
Flip it and reverse it ♪</i>

258
00:13:17,035 --> 00:13:19,070
And then I'm now
exploiting them.

259
00:13:19,072 --> 00:13:21,139
Are there many women
in your industry?

260
00:13:21,141 --> 00:13:23,573
Uh... Sisters in arms,
as it were?

261
00:13:23,575 --> 00:13:26,644
Well, not at my level, no.

262
00:13:26,646 --> 00:13:28,479
Yes, clearly you're in a class
of your own.

263
00:13:28,481 --> 00:13:30,548
Oh! Except,
of course there's Medusa.

264
00:13:30,550 --> 00:13:31,615
Oh?

265
00:13:31,617 --> 00:13:33,317
She's like the O.G. lady
con artist.

266
00:13:33,319 --> 00:13:35,186
People say she could
freeze a man's assets

267
00:13:35,188 --> 00:13:36,553
with just one look.

268
00:13:36,555 --> 00:13:38,222
Well...

269
00:13:38,224 --> 00:13:41,259
My horizons have certainly
been expanded this evening.

270
00:13:41,261 --> 00:13:42,961
Where will the wind
take you next?

271
00:13:42,963 --> 00:13:45,263
I'm going to this town
on the Med,

272
00:13:45,265 --> 00:13:46,498
Beaumont-Sur-Mer.

273
00:13:46,500 --> 00:13:49,400
Get this, apparently it's
crawling with rich dudes.

274
00:13:49,402 --> 00:13:51,067
Well, I'm afraid
you've been misinformed.

275
00:13:51,069 --> 00:13:53,803
You see,
I live in Beaumont-Sur-Mer

276
00:13:53,805 --> 00:13:56,072
and I think you'll find
it's a lesbian community.

277
00:13:56,074 --> 00:13:57,642
- Really?
- Oh, yes.

278
00:13:57,644 --> 00:13:59,576
Honestly, you'd do better
staying on to Portofino.

279
00:13:59,578 --> 00:14:02,179
Well, maybe I could
work a woman.

280
00:14:02,181 --> 00:14:03,447
I don't know how you...

281
00:14:03,449 --> 00:14:05,182
Yeah, I could give it a go.

282
00:14:05,184 --> 00:14:07,320
But isn't your philosophy
based on exploiting men?

283
00:14:08,655 --> 00:14:10,587
Penny? Penny.

284
00:14:10,589 --> 00:14:12,623
Sorry, were you... Sorry.

285
00:14:12,625 --> 00:14:15,427
I was just playing this game
on my phone.

286
00:14:15,429 --> 00:14:17,528
Yes, of course.

287
00:14:17,530 --> 00:14:18,796
I just have to call my mother

288
00:14:18,798 --> 00:14:20,599
to let them know
what time to expect me.

289
00:14:20,601 --> 00:14:21,568
Please.

290
00:14:31,878 --> 00:14:33,311
So, do you have
a car here?

291
00:14:33,313 --> 00:14:34,712
I do.

292
00:14:34,714 --> 00:14:36,847
Oh, great. Do you mind if I,
like, scab a lift off you?

293
00:14:36,849 --> 00:14:37,948
What?

294
00:14:37,950 --> 00:14:39,450
You leaving the party already?

295
00:14:39,452 --> 00:14:41,054
Afraid so. Cheerio.

296
00:14:44,824 --> 00:14:46,224
Penny?

297
00:14:46,226 --> 00:14:48,458
Did you say Portofino
was the next stop?

298
00:14:48,460 --> 00:14:51,229
Yo, Portofino is
going to be turnt!

299
00:14:54,535 --> 00:14:56,067
What?

300
00:14:56,069 --> 00:14:58,469
I don't know
what you just said,

301
00:14:58,471 --> 00:14:59,870
but the answer is <i>oui.</i>

302
00:15:25,397 --> 00:15:27,231
How was last night?

303
00:15:27,233 --> 00:15:29,067
It was all I could arrange
on such short notice.

304
00:15:29,069 --> 00:15:31,903
Jean and Lil Baguette
were perfect.

305
00:15:31,905 --> 00:15:33,538
May I ask the reason
for their involvement?

306
00:15:33,540 --> 00:15:35,440
I encountered
a sort of pale gypsy

307
00:15:35,442 --> 00:15:37,341
who thought herself
something of a grifter.

308
00:15:37,343 --> 00:15:39,244
Surely she was
no match for you?

309
00:15:39,246 --> 00:15:41,745
Hmm, one can never be
too careful, Brigitte.

310
00:15:41,747 --> 00:15:43,280
A poacher
who shoots at rabbits

311
00:15:43,282 --> 00:15:45,048
may scare big game away.

312
00:15:45,050 --> 00:15:46,683
Speaking of...

313
00:15:46,685 --> 00:15:50,221
Next we have Gregor Gregorsky.

314
00:15:50,223 --> 00:15:52,389
Made his fortune
in office supplies,

315
00:15:52,391 --> 00:15:54,225
married four times.

316
00:15:54,227 --> 00:15:55,927
He's a romantic.

317
00:15:55,929 --> 00:16:00,266
And he should be arriving...
now.

318
00:16:07,140 --> 00:16:08,740
Who is that with him?

319
00:16:08,742 --> 00:16:12,744
You must save your beautiful
sister before she is defiled.

320
00:16:12,746 --> 00:16:14,879
I know,
'cause once she is defiled,

321
00:16:14,881 --> 00:16:16,981
she's, like, less special,
don't you reckon?

322
00:16:16,983 --> 00:16:17,984
Brigitte.

323
00:16:18,651 --> 00:16:20,484
Right away.

324
00:16:20,486 --> 00:16:26,057
Gregor, you have no idea
what this money will do.

325
00:16:26,059 --> 00:16:27,191
Hit it, Marcel!

326
00:16:29,094 --> 00:16:30,997
I'm flying!

327
00:16:32,332 --> 00:16:33,600
Oh, shit!

328
00:16:37,136 --> 00:16:38,235
Hey!

329
00:16:54,788 --> 00:16:56,623
<i>Merci.</i>

330
00:16:57,424 --> 00:16:58,655
Mmm, mmm.

331
00:16:58,657 --> 00:17:01,027
All right.
Let's go, boys, one more time!

332
00:17:15,540 --> 00:17:17,208
You want to press charges?

333
00:17:17,210 --> 00:17:18,442
<i>Da.</i>

334
00:17:18,444 --> 00:17:21,248
Her sister is probably
not even virgin.

335
00:17:30,490 --> 00:17:32,355
He gave me the money!

336
00:17:32,357 --> 00:17:34,394
What laws
have I actually broken?

337
00:17:39,065 --> 00:17:40,067
Oh.

338
00:17:42,469 --> 00:17:44,536
Contraction. Mmm.

339
00:17:44,538 --> 00:17:47,341
The stress
is not good for the baby.

340
00:17:48,073 --> 00:17:49,542
Ooh, my little baby.

341
00:17:51,174 --> 00:17:51,642
Ooh.

342
00:17:51,644 --> 00:17:53,111
We are a tight-knit community

343
00:17:53,113 --> 00:17:54,711
in Beaumont-Sur-Mer,
<i>mademoiselle.</i>

344
00:17:54,713 --> 00:17:56,981
We do not want your kind here.

345
00:17:56,983 --> 00:17:57,951
What?

346
00:17:59,086 --> 00:18:00,951
Oh, yeah, yeah, right, yeah.

347
00:18:00,953 --> 00:18:04,855
I've heard about
your little community.

348
00:18:04,857 --> 00:18:07,761
And that's...
That's actually why I came.

349
00:18:09,729 --> 00:18:13,330
To do some, like,
experimenting.

350
00:18:13,332 --> 00:18:14,397
You know...

351
00:18:14,399 --> 00:18:15,468
Ooh!

352
00:18:17,904 --> 00:18:19,106
Ooh.

353
00:18:22,442 --> 00:18:24,111
Oh, no, wrong thing.

354
00:18:25,211 --> 00:18:27,077
Inspector?

355
00:18:27,079 --> 00:18:29,282
Don't you think we can just
work something out?

356
00:18:31,350 --> 00:18:33,185
Just between us girls?

357
00:18:37,124 --> 00:18:39,226
I don't date pregnant women.

358
00:18:44,463 --> 00:18:46,631
Oh, wait! Actually, um,
I know somebody here!

359
00:18:46,633 --> 00:18:48,700
You know someone
in Beaumont-Sur-Mer?

360
00:18:48,702 --> 00:18:50,402
Yeah, yeah.
I bet you'd know her, too.

361
00:18:50,404 --> 00:18:53,069
She's, like, really rich,
really important.

362
00:18:53,071 --> 00:18:55,940
She looks like a librarian's
corpse, only less lively.

363
00:18:55,942 --> 00:18:58,075
She would have
your ass for this.

364
00:18:58,077 --> 00:18:59,477
Oh, I see.

365
00:18:59,479 --> 00:19:00,744
What's her name?

366
00:19:00,746 --> 00:19:01,947
- Oh, her name...
- Mmm-hmm?

367
00:19:04,216 --> 00:19:06,386
...is Joanna...

368
00:19:07,052 --> 00:19:08,118
Regina.

369
00:19:08,120 --> 00:19:11,324
Regina Charleston.

370
00:19:12,392 --> 00:19:14,961
It's Charlotte...

371
00:19:15,494 --> 00:19:18,127
Pemberton.

372
00:19:18,129 --> 00:19:20,333
It's Pamela. Pernilla.

373
00:19:21,134 --> 00:19:23,233
Pendy Simmons.

374
00:19:23,235 --> 00:19:25,169
No, wait, it's...

375
00:19:25,171 --> 00:19:26,770
Janet Maxfield.

376
00:19:26,772 --> 00:19:28,605
Ha! Charlotte Josephson.

377
00:19:28,607 --> 00:19:30,141
Josephine Chesterfield?

378
00:19:30,143 --> 00:19:31,909
Yeah, that is her!

379
00:19:31,911 --> 00:19:33,644
We should...
We should call her.

380
00:19:33,646 --> 00:19:35,779
Get her on the line.

381
00:19:35,781 --> 00:19:38,583
Tell her to
set me free, please!

382
00:19:42,989 --> 00:19:47,024
Penny, the charges against you
aren't very serious,

383
00:19:47,026 --> 00:19:48,625
but it appears
Inspector Desjardins

384
00:19:48,627 --> 00:19:50,864
is keeping you here
for your own protection.

385
00:19:51,864 --> 00:19:53,297
From what?

386
00:19:53,299 --> 00:19:54,531
The man you swindled

387
00:19:54,533 --> 00:19:56,300
is a prominent figure
of the Russian mafia.

388
00:19:56,302 --> 00:19:57,367
Shit.

389
00:19:57,369 --> 00:19:58,469
If you were to be released,

390
00:19:58,471 --> 00:19:59,770
you would
most certainly be killed,

391
00:19:59,772 --> 00:20:00,904
or worse.

392
00:20:00,906 --> 00:20:02,472
Well, there has to be
another option!

393
00:20:02,474 --> 00:20:04,174
One moment.

394
00:20:13,485 --> 00:20:14,487
<i>Oui.</i>

395
00:20:16,822 --> 00:20:19,392
Penny, what do you have on you
by way of liquidity?

396
00:20:19,859 --> 00:20:21,558
Uh...

397
00:20:21,560 --> 00:20:25,328
I think I have a travel-size
K-Y Jelly in my bag.

398
00:20:25,330 --> 00:20:26,696
It's peach-flavored.

399
00:20:26,698 --> 00:20:29,866
Cash, Penny. How much cash
do you have at your disposal?

400
00:20:29,868 --> 00:20:34,404
I have about 10 or 8...
Yeah, $8,000.

401
00:20:34,406 --> 00:20:36,907
That might be enough to get you out
of the country, but you must promise

402
00:20:36,909 --> 00:20:39,844
never ever,
under any circumstances,

403
00:20:39,846 --> 00:20:41,813
to come back
to Beaumont-Sur-Mer

404
00:20:41,815 --> 00:20:43,381
ever again.

405
00:20:43,383 --> 00:20:45,316
- Pinky promise.
- Hold on, Penny.

406
00:20:45,318 --> 00:20:47,554
The nightmare is almost over.

407
00:20:49,888 --> 00:20:52,423
Hey, listen,

408
00:20:52,425 --> 00:20:54,858
- I may have been a bit of bitch when we first met.
- Oh.

409
00:20:54,860 --> 00:20:56,894
And when I talked about you
behind your back.

410
00:20:56,896 --> 00:20:58,498
- Hmm?
- And when I posted this.

411
00:21:01,067 --> 00:21:02,666
- Huh.
- But you did me a solid

412
00:21:02,668 --> 00:21:03,835
getting me out of jail,

413
00:21:03,837 --> 00:21:06,338
so I think
you're a pretty top chick.

414
00:21:08,675 --> 00:21:11,241
Try to be as inconspicuous
as possible.

415
00:21:11,243 --> 00:21:12,776
I know it's difficult for you,

416
00:21:12,778 --> 00:21:16,183
but it's better to go
unnoticed by Gregor's henchmen.

417
00:21:21,854 --> 00:21:23,787
<i>Au revoir.</i>

418
00:21:23,789 --> 00:21:26,393
Well, I don't get
what that means.

419
00:21:31,396 --> 00:21:33,800
Yo, I'm just gonna
blend in with you guys.

420
00:22:06,665 --> 00:22:08,132
Hey.

421
00:22:08,134 --> 00:22:09,432
Oh!

422
00:22:09,434 --> 00:22:11,402
Dude! What are you...

423
00:22:11,404 --> 00:22:13,837
You can't just sneak up
on a lady like that!

424
00:22:16,575 --> 00:22:19,179
Hmm. You're not
really my type...

425
00:22:21,848 --> 00:22:23,480
But the pilot's busy, so...

426
00:22:30,490 --> 00:22:31,623
Let's just make this quick.

427
00:22:31,625 --> 00:22:33,356
I feel like they're about
to serve the meal.

428
00:22:33,358 --> 00:22:34,759
- Where is it?
- What?

429
00:22:34,761 --> 00:22:35,826
Where is it?

430
00:22:35,828 --> 00:22:37,761
Hey...

431
00:22:37,763 --> 00:22:40,464
Nazi Gollum, you're gonna
have to speak more clearly.

432
00:22:40,466 --> 00:22:42,133
- Where is it?
- What?

433
00:22:42,135 --> 00:22:45,269
I saw you talking with her
in the airport.

434
00:22:45,271 --> 00:22:46,603
Josephine?

435
00:22:46,605 --> 00:22:47,704
Is that her real name?

436
00:22:47,706 --> 00:22:49,472
- Are you with her?
- Um...

437
00:22:49,474 --> 00:22:52,210
No, I think maybe
the police chick is?

438
00:22:52,212 --> 00:22:53,678
They could just be friends.

439
00:22:53,680 --> 00:22:55,346
I don't know.
It's hard to tell nowadays.

440
00:22:55,348 --> 00:22:56,980
So, the police woman's
part of it?

441
00:22:56,982 --> 00:22:59,019
- Part of what?
- The hustle!

442
00:22:59,618 --> 00:23:00,683
Hmm?

443
00:23:00,685 --> 00:23:02,853
She stole my wife's
diamond bracelet!

444
00:23:02,855 --> 00:23:04,324
It's worth
half a million dollars!

445
00:23:06,559 --> 00:23:07,791
Shit the bed.

446
00:23:07,793 --> 00:23:10,294
And now my wife
is filing for divorce.

447
00:23:10,296 --> 00:23:12,130
Are you working
with her or not?

448
00:23:12,132 --> 00:23:13,329
No! No, no.

449
00:23:14,834 --> 00:23:16,066
Um...

450
00:23:16,068 --> 00:23:19,537
No, I'm actually
working for ASSES.

451
00:23:19,539 --> 00:23:20,604
What?

452
00:23:20,606 --> 00:23:22,807
ASSES? Have you not
heard of that?

453
00:23:22,809 --> 00:23:27,810
It's the, um,
Australian Securities Services

454
00:23:27,812 --> 00:23:31,516
Intelligently Spying.

455
00:23:31,518 --> 00:23:34,151
- Don't you mean ASIO?
- No.

456
00:23:34,153 --> 00:23:35,486
No, they're wankers.

457
00:23:35,488 --> 00:23:36,553
ASSES.

458
00:23:36,555 --> 00:23:37,887
It's the place to be.

459
00:23:37,889 --> 00:23:39,891
And I'm deep, deep,
deep in ASSES.

460
00:23:39,893 --> 00:23:41,759
I'm trying to
bring her to justice.

461
00:23:41,761 --> 00:23:43,093
- Okay, good.
- Yeah.

462
00:23:43,095 --> 00:23:44,729
Good. How can I help?

463
00:23:44,731 --> 00:23:46,329
Well, sir, um...

464
00:23:46,331 --> 00:23:48,900
I believe we should
start by having sex

465
00:23:48,902 --> 00:23:50,069
as a cover.

466
00:23:58,211 --> 00:23:59,179
What was that?

467
00:24:00,445 --> 00:24:02,011
I have standards.

468
00:24:02,013 --> 00:24:03,614
As do I.

469
00:24:03,616 --> 00:24:04,781
I need to take a nap.

470
00:24:04,783 --> 00:24:06,285
As do I.

471
00:24:08,453 --> 00:24:10,089
I have many STDs, so...

472
00:24:13,024 --> 00:24:14,293
As do I.

473
00:24:31,310 --> 00:24:32,742
Mesdames et messieurs,

474
00:24:32,744 --> 00:24:34,345
<i>please fasten your seat belts.</i>

475
00:24:34,347 --> 00:24:37,684
<i>We are experiencing some
unexpected turbulence.</i>

476
00:25:07,613 --> 00:25:09,516
Phew!

477
00:25:11,983 --> 00:25:13,784
My quads are burning!

478
00:25:13,786 --> 00:25:15,251
Ow! Ow!

479
00:25:15,253 --> 00:25:17,453
Bloody hell!
No. Okay.

480
00:25:21,126 --> 00:25:22,593
Oh, yeah.

481
00:25:22,595 --> 00:25:23,730
I'm gonna puke.

482
00:25:24,963 --> 00:25:27,964
I'm gonna hold it.
I can hold it.

483
00:25:27,966 --> 00:25:30,601
- Penny.
- Hello, Janet.

484
00:25:30,603 --> 00:25:32,001
Or should I say...

485
00:25:32,003 --> 00:25:33,973
Medusa?

486
00:25:35,508 --> 00:25:38,308
- I am not Medusa.
- Really?

487
00:25:38,310 --> 00:25:40,547
Take this to the guestroom,
butlery person.

488
00:25:46,184 --> 00:25:47,684
Okay, I may need to borrow

489
00:25:47,686 --> 00:25:50,855
a toothbrush, leggings,
some thongs.

490
00:25:50,857 --> 00:25:51,955
Oh! Some "going out" thongs.

491
00:25:51,957 --> 00:25:53,624
Do we have a problem?

492
00:25:53,626 --> 00:25:57,494
Ah! Captain Pantsuit,
in on it as well?

493
00:25:57,496 --> 00:26:00,630
All wrapped up
in this kebab of lies?

494
00:26:00,632 --> 00:26:02,967
Everything is fine, Brigitte.
You and Albert may go.

495
00:26:02,969 --> 00:26:05,234
Yeah. Bye, girls.

496
00:26:05,236 --> 00:26:07,704
I'll take my lunch
by the pool!

497
00:26:07,706 --> 00:26:10,406
Just letting you know,
I'm salad intolerant.

498
00:26:10,408 --> 00:26:12,175
What do you want,
Penny?

499
00:26:12,177 --> 00:26:13,676
I want this!

500
00:26:13,678 --> 00:26:15,645
Like, look at this place!

501
00:26:15,647 --> 00:26:18,749
I had no idea how small-time
I was until I met you.

502
00:26:18,751 --> 00:26:20,917
Teach me your sugar baby ways.

503
00:26:20,919 --> 00:26:22,019
Shape me

504
00:26:22,021 --> 00:26:23,921
into something great

505
00:26:23,923 --> 00:26:25,157
and richer.

506
00:26:26,091 --> 00:26:27,191
And why would I do that?

507
00:26:27,193 --> 00:26:28,491
Because who knows?

508
00:26:28,493 --> 00:26:30,326
I could be the partner
you never knew you needed.

509
00:26:30,328 --> 00:26:32,328
- No, thanks. I work alone.
- Hello?

510
00:26:32,330 --> 00:26:35,665
What about Menswear Barbie
and Old Crone Ken?

511
00:26:35,667 --> 00:26:36,902
They are employees.

512
00:26:37,603 --> 00:26:39,339
Okay. I get it.

513
00:26:41,906 --> 00:26:45,076
But what you're not getting
is that a girl like me

514
00:26:45,078 --> 00:26:46,675
could make it
real uncomfortable

515
00:26:46,677 --> 00:26:48,346
for you in this town.

516
00:26:48,348 --> 00:26:49,846
Like a bad case of the herp.

517
00:26:49,848 --> 00:26:52,450
With the right vitamin
cocktail, you'll go away.

518
00:26:52,452 --> 00:26:55,451
You do know herpes never
goes away, don't you?

519
00:26:55,453 --> 00:26:56,723
Doesn't it?

520
00:26:58,456 --> 00:26:59,458
No.

521
00:27:02,395 --> 00:27:05,429
Seems like you've set up
such deep roots here.

522
00:27:05,431 --> 00:27:08,434
It'd be such a shame for it
to all be seized by Interpol.

523
00:27:09,301 --> 00:27:10,770
It'd just take one phone call.

524
00:27:18,778 --> 00:27:19,910
Hello, Interpol?

525
00:27:19,912 --> 00:27:20,980
Tell me, Penny...

526
00:27:23,215 --> 00:27:25,952
Why are women better suited
to the con than men?

527
00:27:27,386 --> 00:27:30,054
'Cause we're used to
faking it?

528
00:27:30,056 --> 00:27:33,490
It comes down
to one universal truth.

529
00:27:33,492 --> 00:27:36,628
No man will ever believe
a woman is smarter than he is.

530
00:27:38,164 --> 00:27:40,263
We will always
be underestimated

531
00:27:40,265 --> 00:27:42,100
and that is what we use.

532
00:27:43,403 --> 00:27:45,234
So this means you're gonna
teach me, aren't you?

533
00:27:45,236 --> 00:27:46,502
I'm teaching you now.

534
00:27:46,504 --> 00:27:47,570
Yes!

535
00:27:47,572 --> 00:27:49,439
Wait, what was that last part?

536
00:27:49,441 --> 00:27:51,678
I couldn't hear. You were
talking into the ocean.

537
00:27:53,578 --> 00:27:55,179
What do men want?

538
00:27:55,181 --> 00:27:57,146
- Boobs.
- No.

539
00:27:57,148 --> 00:27:58,150
Back door.

540
00:27:59,618 --> 00:28:00,683
Front door.

541
00:28:00,685 --> 00:28:02,118
Pegging or, like, a threesome.

542
00:28:02,120 --> 00:28:03,487
What is it? What's the answer?

543
00:28:03,489 --> 00:28:05,823
They want to be heroes.

544
00:28:05,825 --> 00:28:07,524
There is nothing
more compelling to a man

545
00:28:07,526 --> 00:28:09,026
than a vulnerable woman.

546
00:28:09,028 --> 00:28:10,997
Observe.

547
00:28:16,802 --> 00:28:19,702
Oh, wow. You can just
tear up like that.

548
00:28:19,704 --> 00:28:22,506
You can just balance a tear
right on that lower lid.

549
00:28:22,508 --> 00:28:25,278
And can you make the tear
roll down your cheek?

550
00:28:26,544 --> 00:28:28,913
Oh. Oh. Okay.

551
00:28:28,915 --> 00:28:30,983
But can you make it
go back up?

552
00:28:32,618 --> 00:28:34,587
- Now, you try.
- Okay.

553
00:28:44,396 --> 00:28:45,695
- Are you constipated?
- No.

554
00:28:45,697 --> 00:28:48,198
Why all the theatrics?
You're hot. That's enough.

555
00:28:48,200 --> 00:28:49,365
It is not enough.

556
00:28:49,367 --> 00:28:51,067
"Hot" is not a career.

557
00:28:51,069 --> 00:28:53,069
"Hot" will get you gifts
and trinkets,

558
00:28:53,071 --> 00:28:54,706
but you must pay for them
in other ways.

559
00:28:56,008 --> 00:28:57,673
Sex, Penny.

560
00:28:57,675 --> 00:28:59,910
<i>Lesson two, research.</i>

561
00:28:59,912 --> 00:29:01,878
"The Suburban White Knight."

562
00:29:01,880 --> 00:29:03,913
This one calls
for a basic rescue scam.

563
00:29:03,915 --> 00:29:05,016
A staged drowning

564
00:29:05,018 --> 00:29:06,983
and resuscitation
usually fits the bill.

565
00:29:06,985 --> 00:29:10,653
Next we have
"The Braggadocio on Holiday."

566
00:29:10,655 --> 00:29:12,155
Just wants a story
to tell the boys.

567
00:29:12,157 --> 00:29:13,356
But careful here.

568
00:29:13,358 --> 00:29:15,159
He's a frequent abuser
of social media.

569
00:29:16,529 --> 00:29:17,595
What the...

570
00:29:17,597 --> 00:29:19,195
Why the...

571
00:29:20,331 --> 00:29:22,265
...headache!

572
00:29:22,267 --> 00:29:25,101
Finally, you must be trained
for any situation.

573
00:30:44,817 --> 00:30:46,517
One, two...

574
00:30:46,519 --> 00:30:47,620
Surprise!

575
00:30:49,954 --> 00:30:52,189
Hello. How do you do?

576
00:30:52,191 --> 00:30:54,657
Yes, isn't it a lovely party?

577
00:30:54,659 --> 00:30:56,026
I know.

578
00:30:56,028 --> 00:30:57,864
I have seven houses.

579
00:31:08,174 --> 00:31:09,306
She's ready.

580
00:31:09,308 --> 00:31:10,640
I'm ready?

581
00:31:10,642 --> 00:31:11,644
Yes!

582
00:31:12,278 --> 00:31:13,112
Whoo!

583
00:31:20,786 --> 00:31:22,720
Ugh. <i>Mon Dieu!</i>

584
00:31:22,722 --> 00:31:24,288
I don't like it.

585
00:31:24,290 --> 00:31:26,358
She represents
everything you despise.

586
00:31:28,027 --> 00:31:30,894
You know, the water level
at the quarry

587
00:31:30,896 --> 00:31:33,063
is higher than normal
this time of year.

588
00:31:33,065 --> 00:31:34,364
They would not find her body

589
00:31:34,366 --> 00:31:35,531
- until the spring.
- Hmm.

590
00:31:35,533 --> 00:31:37,134
Just say the word,

591
00:31:37,136 --> 00:31:40,037
or don't and you maintain
your innocence,

592
00:31:40,039 --> 00:31:42,539
and I will do it anyway.

593
00:31:42,541 --> 00:31:43,707
Nonsense.

594
00:31:43,709 --> 00:31:45,308
We're taking her in gracefully

595
00:31:45,310 --> 00:31:47,577
in order to
get her out gracefully.

596
00:31:47,579 --> 00:31:48,979
Was that the word?

597
00:31:48,981 --> 00:31:50,413
"Gracefully"?

598
00:31:50,415 --> 00:31:52,482
Trust me, Brigitte.
It'll all work out in our favor.

599
00:31:52,484 --> 00:31:57,121
With Penny, we can finally run
the "Lord of the Rings" play.

600
00:31:57,123 --> 00:32:00,089
You truly believe she is ready
for something so elaborate?

601
00:32:00,091 --> 00:32:02,027
Who's the first mark?

602
00:32:03,662 --> 00:32:05,061
Oh, Howard.

603
00:32:05,063 --> 00:32:06,896
I can't marry you.

604
00:32:09,335 --> 00:32:10,933
Oh...

605
00:32:10,935 --> 00:32:14,403
Now, settle down, cupcake.

606
00:32:14,405 --> 00:32:16,339
What problem's so big
you don't think

607
00:32:16,341 --> 00:32:19,542
Howard Bacon can fix it, huh?

608
00:32:19,544 --> 00:32:23,113
How could you marry a woman
so beneath you?

609
00:32:23,115 --> 00:32:25,149
What are you saying,
snickerdoodle?

610
00:32:25,151 --> 00:32:28,218
You are 63rd in line
to the British throne.

611
00:32:28,220 --> 00:32:31,588
I know, but I'm bankrupt.

612
00:32:31,590 --> 00:32:34,090
The title's all I have left.

613
00:32:34,092 --> 00:32:38,127
Oh, Howard,
do you think me a...

614
00:32:38,129 --> 00:32:40,262
gold digger?

615
00:32:42,434 --> 00:32:45,067
Oh, peanut butter cup.

616
00:32:45,069 --> 00:32:46,202
Now, listen here.

617
00:32:46,204 --> 00:32:47,471
We're gonna get married,

618
00:32:47,473 --> 00:32:49,105
we're gonna fly home
to Fort Worth.

619
00:32:49,107 --> 00:32:50,906
I'mma introduce you
to my golfing buddies

620
00:32:50,908 --> 00:32:52,809
and then when
I run for Senate,

621
00:32:52,811 --> 00:32:54,978
you're gonna be by my side.

622
00:32:54,980 --> 00:32:57,413
Beautiful and silent.

623
00:32:57,415 --> 00:33:00,386
You're not gonna break my heart
now, are you, sugarbooger?

624
00:33:01,052 --> 00:33:02,752
Oh, Howard.

625
00:33:02,754 --> 00:33:06,656
I'm helpless against
your food-themed endearments.

626
00:33:06,658 --> 00:33:08,458
The only thing you're gonna
have to worry about

627
00:33:08,460 --> 00:33:10,894
how that Texas humidity's
gonna affect your hair.

628
00:33:10,896 --> 00:33:13,564
My hair looks like this
in any climate, darling,

629
00:33:13,566 --> 00:33:15,768
and Hortense loves wet heat.

630
00:33:16,434 --> 00:33:17,567
Hortense?

631
00:33:17,569 --> 00:33:20,470
My sister.
Didn't I tell you about her?

632
00:33:20,472 --> 00:33:22,875
I couldn't possibly
leave her behind.

633
00:33:24,643 --> 00:33:26,175
Are you telling me
I'm gonna go home

634
00:33:26,177 --> 00:33:28,311
with two princesses on my arm?

635
00:33:28,313 --> 00:33:29,779
Would you like to see her?

636
00:33:29,781 --> 00:33:31,815
Oh, lead the way.

637
00:33:31,817 --> 00:33:33,584
If you think me
regal in the least,

638
00:33:33,586 --> 00:33:36,019
wait until you meet
my sweet sister. Oof!

639
00:33:36,021 --> 00:33:40,590
I haven't an ounce of the
majesty Hortense possesses.

640
00:33:40,592 --> 00:33:42,692
There are no private beaches
on the Cote d'Azur,

641
00:33:42,694 --> 00:33:46,762
but you put up one sign that
says "toxic waste," <i>et voila!</i>

642
00:33:46,764 --> 00:33:48,298
Granny was so clever.

643
00:33:48,300 --> 00:33:50,599
- Mmm.
- Your sister lives in there?

644
00:33:50,601 --> 00:33:54,237
Mmm-hmm, yes,
in her cozy castle keep.

645
00:33:56,474 --> 00:33:58,174
Ah.

646
00:33:58,176 --> 00:33:59,710
This way.

647
00:33:59,712 --> 00:34:01,377
Your tetanus
is up to date, yes?

648
00:34:01,379 --> 00:34:03,046
What?

649
00:34:03,048 --> 00:34:05,682
Every royal family
has its black sheep, of course,

650
00:34:05,684 --> 00:34:07,651
but not Hortense and me.

651
00:34:07,653 --> 00:34:11,020
Nanny Gertrude raised us to be
two levelheaded young ladies.

652
00:34:11,022 --> 00:34:13,656
We're so normal,
it's practically boring.

653
00:34:13,658 --> 00:34:15,357
Now remember, at no point

654
00:34:15,359 --> 00:34:16,993
should you turn
your back on her.

655
00:34:16,995 --> 00:34:18,664
Because she's royalty?

656
00:34:19,664 --> 00:34:21,165
If you like.

657
00:34:21,167 --> 00:34:22,399
Ah, here we are.

658
00:34:22,401 --> 00:34:24,567
Hortense,
I've brought a guest!

659
00:34:24,569 --> 00:34:26,069
- I wonder where she's hiding.
- Hmm.

660
00:34:26,071 --> 00:34:28,638
Don't be shy.

661
00:34:28,640 --> 00:34:29,908
Oh. I know.

662
00:34:31,977 --> 00:34:34,845
Maybe her subjects
can flush her out.

663
00:34:44,856 --> 00:34:46,555
Ah! There she is!

664
00:34:46,557 --> 00:34:49,026
My only living relative.

665
00:34:49,028 --> 00:34:51,430
Shall we pay her a visit?

666
00:34:56,602 --> 00:35:01,203
Princess Hortense of House
Northumberton-Saxe-Hapsburg,

667
00:35:01,205 --> 00:35:04,776
may I present to you
Howard Bacon.

668
00:35:08,414 --> 00:35:09,546
Uh...

669
00:35:09,548 --> 00:35:11,781
My ma'am... Lady.

670
00:35:11,783 --> 00:35:15,919
Sir Bacon,
welcome to thy kingdom.

671
00:35:15,921 --> 00:35:17,953
I have food for your men

672
00:35:17,955 --> 00:35:20,723
and water
for your horses and whores.

673
00:35:20,725 --> 00:35:22,258
Hortense.

674
00:35:22,260 --> 00:35:25,028
She knows you haven't
got any horses.

675
00:35:25,030 --> 00:35:26,966
Lucretia, pour the mead.

676
00:35:31,636 --> 00:35:33,069
Lucretia,
you dumb bitch,

677
00:35:33,071 --> 00:35:34,470
don't embarrass me
in front of the guests.

678
00:35:34,472 --> 00:35:36,740
Yes, there is much
to celebrate, beloved sister.

679
00:35:36,742 --> 00:35:38,908
I bring wonderful news.

680
00:35:38,910 --> 00:35:41,213
Howard and I
are to be married.

681
00:35:42,113 --> 00:35:43,115
Really?

682
00:35:45,618 --> 00:35:47,984
You and you?

683
00:35:47,986 --> 00:35:49,055
Hortense...

684
00:35:51,488 --> 00:35:54,126
Hortense, do not
drop that coronet.

685
00:35:56,060 --> 00:35:58,396
Use your words,
not the heirlooms.

686
00:35:59,464 --> 00:36:00,564
Whoops!

687
00:36:05,937 --> 00:36:07,069
Why?

688
00:36:07,071 --> 00:36:09,339
I think I know
what this is about.

689
00:36:09,341 --> 00:36:10,973
Die! No!

690
00:36:10,975 --> 00:36:13,676
Don't fret, sissy.
You shan't be left behind.

691
00:36:13,678 --> 00:36:16,580
You, Howard, and I

692
00:36:16,582 --> 00:36:20,149
are going to live together
in Texas.

693
00:36:20,151 --> 00:36:22,819
Texas? Hurrah!

694
00:36:22,821 --> 00:36:25,622
This calls
for a celebration pole dance.

695
00:36:30,828 --> 00:36:34,129
Promise, if anything
should happen to me,

696
00:36:34,131 --> 00:36:36,200
you'll look after her.

697
00:36:36,202 --> 00:36:38,334
Ooh.
I invoke <i>prima nocta.</i>

698
00:36:38,336 --> 00:36:39,669
Absolutely.

699
00:36:39,671 --> 00:36:42,171
This shall be a traditional
wedding in every respect.

700
00:36:42,173 --> 00:36:43,272
<i>Prima nocta.</i>

701
00:36:43,274 --> 00:36:45,841
<i>Prima nocta! Prima nocta!</i>

702
00:36:45,843 --> 00:36:49,345
Uh, what's <i>prima nocta?</i>

703
00:36:49,347 --> 00:36:52,982
Oh. Once the eldest daughter
consummates her marriage,

704
00:36:52,984 --> 00:36:55,218
it is the second daughter's
divine right

705
00:36:55,220 --> 00:36:57,988
either to bed the groom
or fight him in a duel.

706
00:36:57,990 --> 00:36:59,490
In either case,
your performance

707
00:36:59,492 --> 00:37:01,225
shall be judged
by a panel of courtiers.

708
00:37:01,227 --> 00:37:03,158
But you don't mind,
do you, darling?

709
00:37:03,160 --> 00:37:07,830
<i>♪ Second sister
Gets sloppy seconds ♪</i>

710
00:37:07,832 --> 00:37:11,167
<i>♪ Or you die ♪</i>

711
00:37:14,004 --> 00:37:16,171
Muffin, wedding's off.

712
00:37:16,173 --> 00:37:18,073
But Howard! The ring!

713
00:37:18,075 --> 00:37:19,077
Keep it!

714
00:37:31,823 --> 00:37:33,955
Enrique, do go on.
You were saying how

715
00:37:33,957 --> 00:37:36,526
even though you yourself have
benefited economically

716
00:37:36,528 --> 00:37:37,894
from immigrating to America,

717
00:37:37,896 --> 00:37:40,363
you don't feel
any additional Guatemalans

718
00:37:40,365 --> 00:37:41,899
should be allowed
into Palm Beach?

719
00:37:41,901 --> 00:37:42,999
Yes, I believe...

720
00:37:43,001 --> 00:37:45,435
Sister! Sister! Sister!

721
00:37:45,437 --> 00:37:47,504
Hortense! Manners, please!

722
00:37:47,506 --> 00:37:49,605
Is this how we behave
in front of a guest?

723
00:37:49,607 --> 00:37:50,843
Sorry.

724
00:37:51,575 --> 00:37:52,841
Pardon the intrusion,

725
00:37:52,843 --> 00:37:54,810
but can I beg leave
to go to the toilet?

726
00:37:54,812 --> 00:37:56,111
Yes, of course,
my turtle dove.

727
00:37:56,113 --> 00:37:57,881
Thank you.

728
00:37:57,883 --> 00:38:01,419
Kind sir, would you help me
with this?

729
00:38:03,522 --> 00:38:05,220
The lock-eth has rust-eth.

730
00:38:05,222 --> 00:38:06,388
Hortense!

731
00:38:06,390 --> 00:38:08,258
Did I not expressly forbid you

732
00:38:08,260 --> 00:38:10,560
from wearing your virtue
panties in the pool?

733
00:38:10,562 --> 00:38:12,731
Albert! She's done it again.

734
00:38:13,932 --> 00:38:15,533
Ahhh! Not the flame!

735
00:38:27,278 --> 00:38:29,479
Release the peasants!

736
00:38:29,481 --> 00:38:31,381
She must mean
"pheasants," yes?

737
00:38:31,383 --> 00:38:32,948
Hmm? Of course not.

738
00:38:32,950 --> 00:38:35,886
Oh, don't worry, darling.
She's a terrible shot.

739
00:38:37,122 --> 00:38:38,424
Peasant ho!

740
00:38:40,792 --> 00:38:41,794
See?

741
00:38:50,135 --> 00:38:52,171
That was unexpected.

742
00:38:59,343 --> 00:39:01,645
Brigitte, your 20,000.

743
00:39:01,647 --> 00:39:03,580
You just got a lot
more attractive, Bridge.

744
00:39:03,582 --> 00:39:05,115
Albert, your 10.

745
00:39:05,117 --> 00:39:06,649
Still wouldn't bang you,
Albert.

746
00:39:07,919 --> 00:39:09,154
Thank you, all.

747
00:39:11,656 --> 00:39:13,189
What do you mean,
"Thank you, all"?

748
00:39:13,191 --> 00:39:14,524
No, where's my cashola?

749
00:39:14,526 --> 00:39:15,691
Hmm? Where's my cut?

750
00:39:15,693 --> 00:39:18,028
Where's the big chunka...

751
00:39:18,030 --> 00:39:19,828
...to come in to me,
of the cash?

752
00:39:19,830 --> 00:39:22,432
The student
doesn't earn wages

753
00:39:22,434 --> 00:39:24,167
until after graduation.

754
00:39:24,169 --> 00:39:26,472
When the hell is that?

755
00:39:27,539 --> 00:39:28,839
I've been killing myself

756
00:39:28,841 --> 00:39:30,439
playing Hortense
the Feral Princess,

757
00:39:30,441 --> 00:39:33,276
while you just prance around,
not having sex with people.

758
00:39:33,278 --> 00:39:35,111
Penny, how much money
do you have?

759
00:39:35,113 --> 00:39:36,115
Be honest, now.

760
00:39:37,716 --> 00:39:39,314
$500,000.

761
00:39:39,316 --> 00:39:40,982
Oh. Good for you.

762
00:39:40,984 --> 00:39:42,817
It's an adorable
little nest egg.

763
00:39:42,819 --> 00:39:44,287
All in cash I presume?

764
00:39:44,289 --> 00:39:47,124
Bitcoin. Why?
How much money do you have?

765
00:39:47,126 --> 00:39:52,064
Hmm? Oh, assets and liquidity,
um, 28.32 million.

766
00:39:53,332 --> 00:39:54,863
Ah, okay, I didn't know

767
00:39:54,865 --> 00:39:56,633
we were counting
assets and liquidity.

768
00:39:56,635 --> 00:39:57,834
In that case, I have, uh...

769
00:39:57,836 --> 00:39:59,701
still 500,000.

770
00:39:59,703 --> 00:40:02,071
And how do you think
I grew that wealth?

771
00:40:02,073 --> 00:40:04,408
By investing wisely.

772
00:40:04,410 --> 00:40:06,308
I've invested in you, Penny.

773
00:40:06,310 --> 00:40:07,843
And I must see a robust return

774
00:40:07,845 --> 00:40:09,379
before I can share
the profits.

775
00:40:09,381 --> 00:40:10,879
But you wouldn't
have any profits

776
00:40:10,881 --> 00:40:12,783
if it wasn't for me, okay?

777
00:40:12,785 --> 00:40:14,551
Let's face it,
we're a team on this.

778
00:40:14,553 --> 00:40:17,220
Penny, if you want to be like
me, then you're going to have...

779
00:40:17,222 --> 00:40:18,821
I don't wanna be like you!

780
00:40:18,823 --> 00:40:20,557
Why would I wanna be like you?

781
00:40:20,559 --> 00:40:22,924
I don't wanna be some loser

782
00:40:22,926 --> 00:40:25,261
that looks like
a colorful Beetlejuice.

783
00:40:25,263 --> 00:40:27,363
Oh, sorry,
Julie Andrews just called.

784
00:40:27,365 --> 00:40:29,265
She said she wants
her voice back.

785
00:40:29,267 --> 00:40:31,566
We all know
you're actually from Wisconsin

786
00:40:31,568 --> 00:40:34,337
and you stay in this house
eating weird salads

787
00:40:34,339 --> 00:40:36,006
and drinking alcohol

788
00:40:36,008 --> 00:40:38,075
that doesn't get you
hammered fast enough.

789
00:40:38,077 --> 00:40:39,442
And you're like,

790
00:40:39,444 --> 00:40:42,578
"Oh! I better check
all my precious stocks

791
00:40:42,580 --> 00:40:44,846
on the NASCAR index."

792
00:40:44,848 --> 00:40:46,216
And, "Oh, wait,

793
00:40:46,218 --> 00:40:49,618
let me just collect another
little boy's head,

794
00:40:49,620 --> 00:40:53,589
or another dinosaur clitoris,

795
00:40:53,591 --> 00:40:55,625
or another little statue
of a..."

796
00:40:55,627 --> 00:40:57,125
That's alive.

797
00:40:57,127 --> 00:41:00,462
Yes, that is a Madagascan
blue panther chameleon.

798
00:41:00,464 --> 00:41:02,299
It's one of the last
of its kind.

799
00:41:02,301 --> 00:41:04,533
Is it?

800
00:41:04,535 --> 00:41:05,734
Just like you.

801
00:41:05,736 --> 00:41:07,336
Well, you know what, Jo?

802
00:41:07,338 --> 00:41:09,471
I don't give a crap if you're
a legend in the game.

803
00:41:09,473 --> 00:41:11,875
If you're not gonna pay me for
work that I've actually done,

804
00:41:11,877 --> 00:41:12,975
then I'm out!

805
00:41:12,977 --> 00:41:14,611
Screw you, Medusa!

806
00:41:14,613 --> 00:41:16,379
I'm not Medusa.

807
00:41:20,151 --> 00:41:22,421
And she's gone.

808
00:41:52,584 --> 00:41:54,850
Are you...
Are you all right, miss?

809
00:41:54,852 --> 00:41:57,587
Oh, is there a doctor
in the house?

810
00:41:57,589 --> 00:41:59,654
Oh, somebody, please, help me!

811
00:41:59,656 --> 00:42:00,823
What are the signs
of a stroke?

812
00:42:00,825 --> 00:42:02,825
I can't feel my tits!

813
00:42:04,930 --> 00:42:06,962
Goodness me!

814
00:42:06,964 --> 00:42:08,464
Are you all right, miss?

815
00:42:08,466 --> 00:42:09,866
Are you okay?

816
00:42:09,868 --> 00:42:12,104
She's all right.
Aren't you, sis?

817
00:42:16,008 --> 00:42:19,174
Yeah, I'm feeling
so much better, actually.

818
00:42:19,176 --> 00:42:22,145
Good on you. That's my chook.
Come on.

819
00:42:22,147 --> 00:42:23,846
Come on.
Let's get you up.

820
00:42:23,848 --> 00:42:25,147
- Yeah.
- No worries.

821
00:42:25,149 --> 00:42:26,381
I think it was
just a big burp.

822
00:42:26,383 --> 00:42:28,052
- You enjoy the sun.
- My pleasure.

823
00:42:28,687 --> 00:42:29,886
What's up, Jo?

824
00:42:29,888 --> 00:42:30,953
I thought
you were leaving, Pen.

825
00:42:30,955 --> 00:42:33,290
I was, and then...

826
00:42:33,292 --> 00:42:37,227
I just realized
this place is great.

827
00:42:37,229 --> 00:42:40,296
There just isn't room
for both of us

828
00:42:40,298 --> 00:42:41,997
in Beaumont-Sur-Mer.

829
00:42:41,999 --> 00:42:44,165
Mmm. Agree to unagree.

830
00:42:44,167 --> 00:42:47,370
This is my home

831
00:42:47,372 --> 00:42:49,673
and my place of work

832
00:42:49,675 --> 00:42:52,008
and you are a bull
in my china shop.

833
00:42:52,010 --> 00:42:55,712
Well, you don't really
affect my life that much.

834
00:42:55,714 --> 00:42:57,846
Oh, piss off,
you moonfaced troll!

835
00:42:57,848 --> 00:42:58,982
Whoa!

836
00:42:58,984 --> 00:43:00,582
Careful there.

837
00:43:00,584 --> 00:43:03,151
People might think you're more
than just an animatronic cocktease.

838
00:43:03,153 --> 00:43:04,155
Okay, come on.

839
00:43:07,357 --> 00:43:09,392
Ow! Arm!

840
00:43:09,394 --> 00:43:10,959
Hands off the merchandise.

841
00:43:10,961 --> 00:43:12,462
I bruise like a peach.

842
00:43:12,464 --> 00:43:14,930
Shall we settle this
with a friendly wager?

843
00:43:14,932 --> 00:43:16,165
Like a turf war?

844
00:43:16,167 --> 00:43:18,066
Whoever wins gets dibs
on the town?

845
00:43:18,068 --> 00:43:21,035
Loser leaves for good.

846
00:43:21,037 --> 00:43:22,305
Well, what's the bet?

847
00:43:22,307 --> 00:43:23,506
We choose a man.

848
00:43:23,508 --> 00:43:26,341
First to extract a set sum
from him wins.

849
00:43:26,343 --> 00:43:29,044
That sounds like a party.
Yeah, how much?

850
00:43:29,046 --> 00:43:31,781
How about your net worth?
500,000?

851
00:43:31,783 --> 00:43:32,948
Oh, I'm sorry.

852
00:43:32,950 --> 00:43:35,116
Is that too rich
for your blood?

853
00:43:35,118 --> 00:43:36,319
Are you kidding?

854
00:43:36,321 --> 00:43:40,388
My blood is, like,
98% white chocolate mousse.

855
00:43:40,390 --> 00:43:43,292
So, I can...
I can handle it, yeah.

856
00:43:43,294 --> 00:43:44,394
Who's the mark?

857
00:43:46,798 --> 00:43:48,730
<i>Monsieur!</i>

858
00:43:48,732 --> 00:43:51,035
How about that guy?

859
00:43:51,702 --> 00:43:53,035
He's 12.

860
00:43:53,037 --> 00:43:55,071
Ah, too young for your blood?

861
00:43:55,073 --> 00:43:56,605
Guillaume?

862
00:43:56,607 --> 00:43:59,709
Is that boy
a guest at the hotel?

863
00:43:59,711 --> 00:44:01,310
Yes, that is
Thomas Westerberg.

864
00:44:01,312 --> 00:44:04,046
He is the inventor of YaBurnt.

865
00:44:04,048 --> 00:44:05,814
- Shut my back door.
- What? Why?

866
00:44:05,816 --> 00:44:08,285
What is YaBurnt?

867
00:44:08,287 --> 00:44:09,651
Honestly?

868
00:44:09,653 --> 00:44:11,354
Jo, are you, like,
100 years old?

869
00:44:11,356 --> 00:44:14,290
It's, like, this really cool app
where it sends all your friends

870
00:44:14,292 --> 00:44:15,424
these disgusting insults

871
00:44:15,426 --> 00:44:16,892
and then they disappear
after 10 seconds.

872
00:44:16,894 --> 00:44:18,160
Why would anyone want that?

873
00:44:18,162 --> 00:44:20,397
Why would anyone
want Christmas, either?

874
00:44:20,399 --> 00:44:23,566
So, he's a tech millionaire?

875
00:44:23,568 --> 00:44:25,433
Billionaire, I bet.

876
00:44:25,435 --> 00:44:26,504
So, do we have a deal?

877
00:44:27,104 --> 00:44:28,236
One week.

878
00:44:28,238 --> 00:44:29,974
May the best con win.

879
00:44:53,164 --> 00:44:56,468
Hey, uh, do you mind if I
spin the thingy next round?

880
00:44:58,669 --> 00:45:01,770
Okay. That's your job.

881
00:45:01,772 --> 00:45:02,975
Shut up, Thomas.

882
00:45:09,680 --> 00:45:11,513
- <i>Monsieur.</i>
- Yes?

883
00:45:11,515 --> 00:45:12,850
Please place your bets.

884
00:45:26,964 --> 00:45:28,200
No more bets.

885
00:45:32,236 --> 00:45:34,339
Eighteen red.

886
00:45:38,676 --> 00:45:39,908
Sorry, comin' through.

887
00:45:39,910 --> 00:45:41,377
Sorry, excuse me.

888
00:45:41,379 --> 00:45:43,145
- My goodness!
- Sorry, miss, please.

889
00:45:43,147 --> 00:45:46,816
Oi, blind person here.
Move! Move!

890
00:45:46,818 --> 00:45:48,450
Yeah.

891
00:45:48,452 --> 00:45:49,487
Yeah.

892
00:45:50,388 --> 00:45:52,154
Oh. Pardon the intrusion,

893
00:45:52,156 --> 00:45:53,555
but could somebody tell me

894
00:45:53,557 --> 00:45:55,191
if there's an empty chair
at this table?

895
00:45:55,193 --> 00:45:57,225
No, <i>mademoiselle.</i>
The table is full.

896
00:45:57,227 --> 00:45:58,895
Oh. Okey-dokey.

897
00:45:58,897 --> 00:46:01,897
No, miss. Miss? Excuse me.
You can have my chair.

898
00:46:01,899 --> 00:46:03,265
Oh, a hero.

899
00:46:03,267 --> 00:46:05,000
Oh, but it's not necessary.

900
00:46:05,002 --> 00:46:07,270
Perhaps if, um,
this person scoots over,

901
00:46:07,272 --> 00:46:09,238
we could just squeeze in
another chair.

902
00:46:09,240 --> 00:46:11,506
- Yeah, sure.
- Do you mind, sir?

903
00:46:11,508 --> 00:46:13,575
Would you mind just, um...

904
00:46:13,577 --> 00:46:15,076
Right behind you.

905
00:46:15,078 --> 00:46:17,178
- Oh.
- There you go.

906
00:46:17,180 --> 00:46:18,714
- Thank you.
- All right?

907
00:46:18,716 --> 00:46:20,883
Wow. What wonderful
blind person etiquette.

908
00:46:20,885 --> 00:46:22,352
My nana was blind.

909
00:46:22,354 --> 00:46:23,919
Was she?

910
00:46:23,921 --> 00:46:25,222
I had no idea.

911
00:46:26,189 --> 00:46:27,288
Research.

912
00:46:27,290 --> 00:46:28,957
Please place your bets.

913
00:46:28,959 --> 00:46:31,528
Oh. Do you want me
to place a bet for you?

914
00:46:31,530 --> 00:46:32,595
Yeah, could you?

915
00:46:32,597 --> 00:46:34,964
- Yeah, of course.
- But can you choose?

916
00:46:34,966 --> 00:46:37,098
I feel like I need somebody
else's luck right now.

917
00:46:37,100 --> 00:46:38,767
- Sure.
- Okay.

918
00:46:38,769 --> 00:46:40,571
All right,
keep your fingers crossed.

919
00:46:43,106 --> 00:46:44,108
No more bets.

920
00:46:45,943 --> 00:46:47,109
Twenty-one red.

921
00:46:47,111 --> 00:46:48,209
How did we do?

922
00:46:48,211 --> 00:46:50,279
We lost. I'm so sorry.

923
00:46:50,281 --> 00:46:52,448
- What?
- Yeah, it happens.

924
00:46:52,450 --> 00:46:53,952
That was my last chance.

925
00:46:54,651 --> 00:46:56,618
Last chance? For...

926
00:46:56,620 --> 00:46:58,122
Wait! Miss!

927
00:46:58,722 --> 00:47:00,156
Miss, wait. Miss?

928
00:47:00,158 --> 00:47:01,591
<i>Monsieur,</i> your chips.

929
00:47:01,593 --> 00:47:03,392
Oh, yeah, thank you.

930
00:47:07,265 --> 00:47:08,967
Thank you, thank you. Sorry.

931
00:47:10,468 --> 00:47:12,066
Thank you. Miss!

932
00:47:14,805 --> 00:47:16,441
Miss! Miss?

933
00:47:17,274 --> 00:47:18,343
Your winnings.

934
00:47:22,814 --> 00:47:25,747
Miss! Miss? Miss?
Excuse me? Hi.

935
00:47:25,749 --> 00:47:27,082
You left your cane.

936
00:47:27,084 --> 00:47:29,017
Oh, thanks
for bringing it back.

937
00:47:29,019 --> 00:47:31,319
I'm so embarrassed. Did I,
like, cause a big scene?

938
00:47:31,321 --> 00:47:33,990
No, no. It's okay. But you
said something in there.

939
00:47:33,992 --> 00:47:36,359
You said that that was
your last chance.

940
00:47:36,361 --> 00:47:38,928
- What for?
- To help my sister.

941
00:47:38,930 --> 00:47:41,198
- Oh.
- She's my baby sister.

942
00:47:42,633 --> 00:47:44,234
- Oh.
- You're looking at a picture

943
00:47:44,236 --> 00:47:45,667
of a really hot girl, right?

944
00:47:45,669 --> 00:47:48,970
Uh... Yes. Yeah, I am.

945
00:47:48,972 --> 00:47:50,808
Are my eyes tearing up?

946
00:47:52,176 --> 00:47:53,944
'Cause sometimes I can't tell.

947
00:47:59,984 --> 00:48:01,950
At least you won big, huh?

948
00:48:01,952 --> 00:48:03,451
Not yet.

949
00:48:03,453 --> 00:48:07,055
Go and see what big-titted
Russell Crowe is up to.

950
00:48:07,057 --> 00:48:08,323
<i>Here.
Here you go, Penny.</i>

951
00:48:08,325 --> 00:48:10,160
No, no, no, Thomas.
I cannot take that.

952
00:48:10,162 --> 00:48:12,727
- Yes, you can, Penny.
- No, I can't.

953
00:48:12,729 --> 00:48:14,062
Penny, you have to.

954
00:48:14,064 --> 00:48:17,198
Your sister needs that
final cleft palate surgery.

955
00:48:17,200 --> 00:48:19,502
Yeah, she does.

956
00:48:19,504 --> 00:48:21,337
- Penny...
- Hmm?

957
00:48:21,339 --> 00:48:22,370
What about you?

958
00:48:22,372 --> 00:48:24,073
What do you mean,
what about me?

959
00:48:24,075 --> 00:48:27,075
Well, do you mind
if I ask you how you...

960
00:48:27,077 --> 00:48:28,477
got blind?

961
00:48:28,479 --> 00:48:29,481
Yeah.

962
00:48:31,383 --> 00:48:34,216
My condition is 100% mental.

963
00:48:34,218 --> 00:48:36,017
Hysterical blindness?

964
00:48:36,019 --> 00:48:37,553
It's not that funny to me,
Thomas.

965
00:48:37,555 --> 00:48:39,589
No, I know. What I mean is,

966
00:48:39,591 --> 00:48:42,158
it means there's hope for you
to see again.

967
00:48:42,160 --> 00:48:43,292
Right?

968
00:48:43,294 --> 00:48:45,928
People say that,
but I've tried everything.

969
00:48:45,930 --> 00:48:48,196
Hypnosis, drugs...

970
00:48:48,198 --> 00:48:50,399
I even hired this guy Barry
to follow me around

971
00:48:50,401 --> 00:48:52,935
and scare me
in parking structures.

972
00:48:52,937 --> 00:48:54,602
He'd just be like, "Hey!"

973
00:48:55,872 --> 00:48:58,875
Turns out this is not like
having the hiccups.

974
00:48:58,877 --> 00:49:00,575
Well, there must be something.

975
00:49:00,577 --> 00:49:04,513
Well, there is, like,
this one psychologist,

976
00:49:04,515 --> 00:49:06,082
up in this clinic in Germany,

977
00:49:06,084 --> 00:49:08,950
that does, like,
really cutting-edge stuff.

978
00:49:08,952 --> 00:49:11,053
But it's so expensive.

979
00:49:11,055 --> 00:49:12,890
Well, how much
does this doctor charge?

980
00:49:13,758 --> 00:49:15,258
$500,000.

981
00:49:15,260 --> 00:49:17,258
- Damn!
- I know!

982
00:49:17,260 --> 00:49:19,964
But Dr. Schauffhaussen
is that gifted.

983
00:49:21,265 --> 00:49:23,232
Forget about it.

984
00:49:23,234 --> 00:49:24,933
What is sight worth, anyways?

985
00:49:24,935 --> 00:49:27,071
$500,000?

986
00:49:27,506 --> 00:49:28,740
Seems so.

987
00:49:34,812 --> 00:49:36,815
She's using all your tricks!

988
00:49:37,982 --> 00:49:39,482
Fine.

989
00:49:39,484 --> 00:49:40,952
Let's use some of hers.

990
00:49:43,620 --> 00:49:46,089
But enough about me.
Let's talk about you.

991
00:49:46,091 --> 00:49:47,390
What's your story?

992
00:49:47,392 --> 00:49:49,424
No, well, no story, really.

993
00:49:49,426 --> 00:49:52,895
These French investor guys,
uh, flew me out here,

994
00:49:52,897 --> 00:49:54,796
I guess to hear
about my new venture.

995
00:49:54,798 --> 00:49:56,598
- Oh.
- But I'm starting to feel like

996
00:49:56,600 --> 00:49:58,399
they just want
another YaBurnt.

997
00:49:58,401 --> 00:50:00,069
- Ya-what?
- YaBurnt.

998
00:50:00,071 --> 00:50:02,171
It's an app that I designed.

999
00:50:02,173 --> 00:50:05,006
Oh.
Like an appetizer?

1000
00:50:05,008 --> 00:50:06,776
I love 'em
when they're bottomless.

1001
00:50:08,479 --> 00:50:09,481
That's good!

1002
00:50:11,716 --> 00:50:14,149
- No, not an appetizer.
- Oh.

1003
00:50:14,151 --> 00:50:17,120
An app like an application
for a smartphone.

1004
00:50:17,122 --> 00:50:18,319
Oh, okay.

1005
00:50:18,321 --> 00:50:20,189
But my new concept,

1006
00:50:20,191 --> 00:50:25,294
it's something that I think
could really help people...

1007
00:50:25,296 --> 00:50:30,035
if anyone would actually
listen to what I have in mind.

1008
00:50:31,336 --> 00:50:32,667
I get it.

1009
00:50:32,669 --> 00:50:34,104
You're a really kind guy.

1010
00:50:34,805 --> 00:50:36,040
I could see that...

1011
00:50:37,441 --> 00:50:38,944
If only I could see.

1012
00:50:39,776 --> 00:50:40,845
Penny...

1013
00:50:42,613 --> 00:50:45,714
Penny, what is the name of
that doctor you told me about?

1014
00:50:45,716 --> 00:50:46,816
Oh, um...

1015
00:50:46,818 --> 00:50:48,019
Doctor...

1016
00:50:50,287 --> 00:50:51,453
Schauffhaussen.

1017
00:50:51,455 --> 00:50:52,854
- Schauffhaussen.
- Schauffhaussen.

1018
00:50:52,856 --> 00:50:55,024
How do you spell that?
Is that S-C-H?

1019
00:50:55,026 --> 00:50:57,692
- Sure.
- Okay.

1020
00:50:57,694 --> 00:50:58,794
Wait, what are you doing?

1021
00:50:58,796 --> 00:51:00,165
I'm looking him up online.

1022
00:51:02,466 --> 00:51:03,899
Not much is known
about the good doctor.

1023
00:51:03,901 --> 00:51:05,868
I hear he's a recluse.

1024
00:51:05,870 --> 00:51:07,236
No, I found his website.

1025
00:51:07,238 --> 00:51:09,004
- Really?
- Awesome.

1026
00:51:09,006 --> 00:51:10,573
Whoa.

1027
00:51:10,575 --> 00:51:11,977
No, here's an e-mail address.

1028
00:51:12,977 --> 00:51:14,743
Okay, you're kidding me.

1029
00:51:14,745 --> 00:51:15,910
Whoa. No way.

1030
00:51:15,912 --> 00:51:17,680
- Yeah.
- No way.

1031
00:51:17,682 --> 00:51:20,015
I've sent something.
There we go.

1032
00:51:20,017 --> 00:51:22,151
- See what happens.
- Thomas, no, you...

1033
00:51:22,153 --> 00:51:23,519
- Oh...
- No.

1034
00:51:23,521 --> 00:51:25,520
You really shouldn't have.

1035
00:51:25,522 --> 00:51:27,256
Let's not get our hopes up.

1036
00:51:27,258 --> 00:51:28,390
Okay.

1037
00:51:28,392 --> 00:51:29,825
He responded!

1038
00:51:29,827 --> 00:51:31,426
Of course he did.

1039
00:51:31,428 --> 00:51:32,896
Oh,
it's an out-of-office reply.

1040
00:51:33,865 --> 00:51:34,997
Oh.

1041
00:51:34,999 --> 00:51:36,568
Let's see
if he's on social media.

1042
00:51:37,935 --> 00:51:39,035
Oh, my God.

1043
00:51:39,037 --> 00:51:41,039
- No way! Oh, my God.
- What?

1044
00:51:52,182 --> 00:51:54,049
Uh, excuse me, sir?

1045
00:51:54,051 --> 00:51:56,852
Hi. Uh, hi. My name's Thomas

1046
00:51:56,854 --> 00:52:00,790
and my friend Penny really,
really needs your help.

1047
00:52:00,792 --> 00:52:03,692
I just saw your photo
on Instagram,

1048
00:52:03,694 --> 00:52:04,926
and I had to come find you.

1049
00:52:04,928 --> 00:52:06,895
This is beyond coincidence.

1050
00:52:06,897 --> 00:52:10,531
It means something
that you're here. Um...

1051
00:52:10,533 --> 00:52:12,569
So, what do you say,
Dr. Schauffhaussen?

1052
00:52:13,803 --> 00:52:15,072
Will you help my friend?

1053
00:52:26,283 --> 00:52:28,149
Siri, I need to learn German.

1054
00:52:28,151 --> 00:52:30,387
That is not German.

1055
00:52:32,622 --> 00:52:33,923
That is Dutch.

1056
00:52:33,925 --> 00:52:36,258
Oh, um...

1057
00:52:36,260 --> 00:52:38,192
Hi, we met
at the roulette table.

1058
00:52:38,194 --> 00:52:40,162
That is incorrect.
We did not meet.

1059
00:52:40,164 --> 00:52:41,830
Otherwise,
you would know that I...

1060
00:52:41,832 --> 00:52:43,167
You're Dr. Schauffhaussen?

1061
00:52:44,968 --> 00:52:46,838
Precisely.

1062
00:52:57,515 --> 00:52:58,980
<i>Auf Wiedersehen.</i>

1063
00:52:58,982 --> 00:53:01,716
No, wait, Dr. Schauffhaussen.
I'm sorry if I offended you.

1064
00:53:01,718 --> 00:53:03,084
I am not offended.

1065
00:53:03,086 --> 00:53:04,486
It's just that
I looked you up online,

1066
00:53:04,488 --> 00:53:05,988
I couldn't find a photo

1067
00:53:05,990 --> 00:53:07,189
and, I don't know,

1068
00:53:07,191 --> 00:53:09,193
I just didn't think
you would be a woman.

1069
00:53:10,662 --> 00:53:11,961
I am offended now.

1070
00:53:11,963 --> 00:53:13,863
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

1071
00:53:13,865 --> 00:53:16,868
Please don't punish Penny
for my sexism.

1072
00:53:17,334 --> 00:53:19,435
Penny?

1073
00:53:19,437 --> 00:53:21,770
Is this Penny from
Cootamundra, Australia?

1074
00:53:21,772 --> 00:53:23,205
Yes! Yeah, that's her.

1075
00:53:23,207 --> 00:53:26,877
I remember her letters.
Such a tragic case.

1076
00:53:28,077 --> 00:53:30,312
- Good luck to you both.
- Wait.

1077
00:53:30,314 --> 00:53:32,013
Dr. Schauffhaussen,
what do I have to do

1078
00:53:32,015 --> 00:53:34,015
to get you to
see her here, tonight?

1079
00:53:34,017 --> 00:53:36,118
- Young man...
- Thomas.

1080
00:53:36,120 --> 00:53:38,486
Thomas,
it would be inappropriate

1081
00:53:38,488 --> 00:53:39,821
and unprofessional of me

1082
00:53:39,823 --> 00:53:41,355
to see patients
while on my holiday.

1083
00:53:41,357 --> 00:53:43,325
Well, if it's a matter
of money, I can...

1084
00:53:43,327 --> 00:53:45,194
You haven't given her
any money, have you?

1085
00:53:45,196 --> 00:53:47,328
Well, some.
But just for her sister.

1086
00:53:47,330 --> 00:53:51,200
You must not,
under any circumstances,

1087
00:53:51,202 --> 00:53:53,201
give the patient money.

1088
00:53:53,203 --> 00:53:55,004
Otherwise,
this reinforces the notion

1089
00:53:55,006 --> 00:53:56,071
that she's totally disabled

1090
00:53:56,073 --> 00:53:57,975
rendering the treatment kaput!

1091
00:53:58,843 --> 00:54:01,576
Wait, so you will treat her?

1092
00:54:01,578 --> 00:54:04,513
I agree
to an initial examination.

1093
00:54:04,515 --> 00:54:07,152
- Yes!
- I am too much the softie.

1094
00:54:07,752 --> 00:54:09,154
Where is she now?

1095
00:54:15,325 --> 00:54:16,327
Penny?

1096
00:54:19,729 --> 00:54:22,932
Coming.
Just one second! One sec.

1097
00:54:22,934 --> 00:54:25,102
I've got
a surprise for ya.

1098
00:54:26,671 --> 00:54:29,004
- Thomas, where did you go?
- Yeah?

1099
00:54:29,006 --> 00:54:31,107
You'll never guess
who I found.

1100
00:54:31,109 --> 00:54:33,377
- Who?
- Who do you think?

1101
00:54:34,912 --> 00:54:38,283
It's Dr. Frederika
Schauffhaussen.

1102
00:54:39,749 --> 00:54:41,783
Oh, she can't believe it!

1103
00:54:41,785 --> 00:54:43,886
Believe it, <i>Fraulein.</i>

1104
00:54:43,888 --> 00:54:48,024
I am here to help you,
dear girl.

1105
00:54:48,026 --> 00:54:50,892
Dr. Schauffhaussen was having
dinner at the hotel tonight.

1106
00:54:50,894 --> 00:54:54,229
I saw her Insta post.
Isn't it incredible?

1107
00:54:54,231 --> 00:54:55,430
Incredible.

1108
00:54:55,432 --> 00:54:56,932
I must make
my assessment of the patient.

1109
00:54:56,934 --> 00:54:58,033
- Thomas?
- Yes?

1110
00:54:58,035 --> 00:54:59,537
I require a chair.

1111
00:55:02,106 --> 00:55:03,437
A warning.

1112
00:55:03,439 --> 00:55:06,543
My methods are unorthodox.

1113
00:55:07,877 --> 00:55:08,879
You understand?

1114
00:55:09,647 --> 00:55:10,912
- Yes.
- Thank you.

1115
00:55:10,914 --> 00:55:12,448
Remove your person
from the treatment space.

1116
00:55:12,450 --> 00:55:14,549
Oh. Okay, uh, here?

1117
00:55:20,057 --> 00:55:21,059
Sit.

1118
00:55:22,160 --> 00:55:26,095
So, you can see
absolutely nothing?

1119
00:55:26,097 --> 00:55:28,830
No shapes, no light, no color?

1120
00:55:28,832 --> 00:55:30,899
No, nothing at all.
That's what I said...

1121
00:55:30,901 --> 00:55:31,970
Silence!

1122
00:55:33,403 --> 00:55:34,604
Hey, I need that.

1123
00:55:34,606 --> 00:55:37,506
You will no longer use
this crutch of the mind.

1124
00:55:39,843 --> 00:55:42,580
Stubborn like the patient.

1125
00:55:44,948 --> 00:55:46,647
I see.

1126
00:55:46,649 --> 00:55:49,620
You do not, but I see.

1127
00:55:54,191 --> 00:55:55,660
Has the test started yet?

1128
00:55:56,260 --> 00:55:57,261
Impressive.

1129
00:55:58,129 --> 00:55:59,794
Okay, Penny.

1130
00:55:59,796 --> 00:56:01,331
How about this?

1131
00:56:11,240 --> 00:56:14,545
I am funneling the air
directly into your eye cavity.

1132
00:56:17,113 --> 00:56:18,946
My mouth hole is very narrow.

1133
00:56:18,948 --> 00:56:20,717
You should
not be feeling this.

1134
00:56:30,627 --> 00:56:32,396
I just smell salmon.

1135
00:56:35,097 --> 00:56:36,798
It's very interesting.

1136
00:56:36,800 --> 00:56:40,872
The body reacts,
but the mind does not.

1137
00:56:43,173 --> 00:56:46,040
Penny, I would like you
to have a little snack.

1138
00:56:46,042 --> 00:56:48,576
But you must guess the food
that you're eating, <i>ja?</i>

1139
00:56:48,578 --> 00:56:50,414
Yeah,
that sounds easy enough.

1140
00:56:56,220 --> 00:56:57,722
I will ready the snack.

1141
00:57:25,415 --> 00:57:26,548
Okay, Penny.

1142
00:57:26,550 --> 00:57:28,350
Here comes
the choo-choo train.

1143
00:57:28,352 --> 00:57:31,455
Open wide.

1144
00:57:32,055 --> 00:57:33,691
Aah...

1145
00:57:39,229 --> 00:57:41,129
What is that?

1146
00:57:41,131 --> 00:57:43,165
A french fry.

1147
00:57:43,167 --> 00:57:45,303
Mmm. Can I have another one?

1148
00:57:47,705 --> 00:57:49,971
You are
a very good blind person.

1149
00:57:49,973 --> 00:57:51,741
As such, you must surely know

1150
00:57:51,743 --> 00:57:54,308
the number of steps
between you and the door.

1151
00:57:54,310 --> 00:57:55,609
Uh-huh.

1152
00:57:55,611 --> 00:57:59,413
And the number from the door
to the elevator.

1153
00:57:59,415 --> 00:58:01,883
Because this is how the visually
impaired function in the world.

1154
00:58:01,885 --> 00:58:05,154
Otherwise you would be running
into things all the time, <i>ja?</i>

1155
00:58:05,156 --> 00:58:07,723
Yeah, I know all the steps.

1156
00:58:07,725 --> 00:58:08,726
<i>Ja.</i>

1157
00:58:09,459 --> 00:58:11,727
Okay, Penny.

1158
00:58:11,729 --> 00:58:12,895
I have opened the door.

1159
00:58:12,897 --> 00:58:15,229
An unobstructed path exists.

1160
00:58:15,231 --> 00:58:19,167
I want you to run
full-speed down hallway

1161
00:58:19,169 --> 00:58:21,437
and stop in front
of the elevator.

1162
00:58:21,439 --> 00:58:22,805
You can do this, then, <i>ja?</i>

1163
00:58:22,807 --> 00:58:25,006
Yeah, well, of course, then.

1164
00:58:25,008 --> 00:58:27,174
Yeah, it's pretty simple
for a blind person

1165
00:58:27,176 --> 00:58:29,810
to just run
in a straight line, so...

1166
00:58:30,914 --> 00:58:33,650
As fast as you can. Go!

1167
00:58:34,785 --> 00:58:36,953
- Um, now?
- <i>Ja!</i>

1168
00:58:43,760 --> 00:58:44,761
Penny!

1169
00:58:46,196 --> 00:58:47,765
I will take the case.

1170
00:59:01,479 --> 00:59:03,511
Come, Thomas,
I give you a tour.

1171
00:59:03,513 --> 00:59:04,515
Okay.

1172
00:59:05,850 --> 00:59:07,452
- Should we... Oh.
- Come.

1173
00:59:08,019 --> 00:59:09,450
Quickly now.

1174
00:59:09,452 --> 00:59:10,986
- But what about...
- Thank you.

1175
00:59:10,988 --> 00:59:12,321
Is this it?

1176
00:59:12,323 --> 00:59:14,455
Hello?

1177
00:59:14,457 --> 00:59:15,559
We're here?

1178
00:59:17,928 --> 00:59:19,463
Hello? Uh...

1179
00:59:22,365 --> 00:59:23,531
Oh, it's on.

1180
00:59:23,533 --> 00:59:25,966
Dr. Schauffhaussen,
about your fee.

1181
00:59:25,968 --> 00:59:27,703
I have to move
a few things around,

1182
00:59:27,705 --> 00:59:29,571
but I'll have it for you
really soon.

1183
00:59:29,573 --> 00:59:31,006
- Oh.
- Hey, guys?

1184
00:59:31,008 --> 00:59:34,078
I think somebody accidentally
locked the front door.

1185
00:59:35,345 --> 00:59:38,412
Guys? Guys, are you there?

1186
00:59:39,950 --> 00:59:41,883
Whoa! Uh, sorry!

1187
00:59:41,885 --> 00:59:44,819
I hope that wasn't a priceless
work of art or anything!

1188
00:59:44,821 --> 00:59:46,187
What if she gets hurt
out there?

1189
00:59:46,189 --> 00:59:48,991
This is precisely why
we do not intervene, Thomas.

1190
00:59:48,993 --> 00:59:51,759
Negative reinforcement
is the prescription.

1191
00:59:51,761 --> 00:59:54,863
It is our job, yours <i>und</i> mine,

1192
00:59:54,865 --> 00:59:56,098
- to have fun.
- Fun?

1193
00:59:56,100 --> 00:59:58,232
- Fun.
- Okay.

1194
00:59:58,234 --> 01:00:00,570
You're thinking
I am loony tune, <i>ja?</i>

1195
01:00:01,405 --> 01:00:04,339
- I am not.
- No?

1196
01:00:04,341 --> 01:00:07,375
If we do this in front
of Penny, have the fun,

1197
01:00:07,377 --> 01:00:09,910
she will want nothing
more than to join us

1198
01:00:09,912 --> 01:00:12,249
in our seeing fun.

1199
01:00:12,716 --> 01:00:14,082
Yeah.

1200
01:00:14,084 --> 01:00:16,921
Why do I smell clinical
strength lady douche wipes?

1201
01:00:18,088 --> 01:00:19,254
Oh.

1202
01:00:19,256 --> 01:00:20,892
Very strong.

1203
01:00:22,124 --> 01:00:25,394
No pity, Thomas. Only fun.

1204
01:00:25,396 --> 01:00:27,629
I also smell early menopause.

1205
01:00:27,631 --> 01:00:28,800
Now, the house.

1206
01:00:39,577 --> 01:00:41,609
Why are we doing this again?

1207
01:00:41,611 --> 01:00:44,446
Just as you take
Thomas's arm when we walk,

1208
01:00:44,448 --> 01:00:46,915
so you take my leash
when we ride.

1209
01:00:46,917 --> 01:00:48,917
That makes zero sense.

1210
01:00:48,919 --> 01:00:50,621
A hill approaches.

1211
01:00:54,758 --> 01:00:56,758
- Thank you so much.
- Thank you.

1212
01:00:56,760 --> 01:00:58,727
- <i>Merci.</i>
- <i>Merci, merci.</i>

1213
01:00:58,729 --> 01:01:00,562
This Cabernet.
Oh, I love this one.

1214
01:01:00,564 --> 01:01:02,798
It turns quite chewy,

1215
01:01:02,800 --> 01:01:05,734
- <i>und</i> you can really taste oak.
- Can I have some?

1216
01:01:05,736 --> 01:01:08,472
Oh. Of course, Penny.
You may have some of mine.

1217
01:01:09,472 --> 01:01:10,574
Oh.

1218
01:01:12,475 --> 01:01:14,642
Is there a glass here?

1219
01:01:14,644 --> 01:01:15,843
You may drink the wine

1220
01:01:15,845 --> 01:01:18,348
when you see the glass
well enough to seize it.

1221
01:01:22,752 --> 01:01:25,953
Oh. Oh, God. Did I spill
something just now?

1222
01:01:27,857 --> 01:01:29,524
Oh, I'm so clumsy.

1223
01:01:29,526 --> 01:01:32,593
Dr. Schauffhaussen,
um, let me help you.

1224
01:01:32,595 --> 01:01:34,361
Oh, no. I feel terrible.

1225
01:01:34,363 --> 01:01:36,099
Did I spill wine on your...

1226
01:01:49,879 --> 01:01:50,979
Waiter!

1227
01:02:03,160 --> 01:02:05,828
Uh, are you sure that
this is helping Penny?

1228
01:02:05,830 --> 01:02:08,830
Oh, trust me,
this is for Penny's sake.

1229
01:02:08,832 --> 01:02:09,897
Okay.

1230
01:02:09,899 --> 01:02:11,732
You should see us, Penny.

1231
01:02:11,734 --> 01:02:13,901
Thomas and I are dancing.

1232
01:02:13,903 --> 01:02:15,671
Oh, I wish I could.

1233
01:02:15,673 --> 01:02:19,040
But you can, Penny. You can.

1234
01:02:19,042 --> 01:02:20,808
Yeah, I could also
eat my own shit,

1235
01:02:20,810 --> 01:02:22,211
but I'm not doing that either.

1236
01:02:22,213 --> 01:02:25,249
It's okay, I'll just stand
here minding your bag.

1237
01:02:27,751 --> 01:02:30,651
She's got a fuzzbox
and knows how to use it.

1238
01:02:30,653 --> 01:02:31,819
Pardon?

1239
01:02:31,821 --> 01:02:33,421
Your friend with the bony ass

1240
01:02:33,423 --> 01:02:35,825
grinding away
on that poor boy.

1241
01:02:37,026 --> 01:02:38,192
Oh.

1242
01:02:38,194 --> 01:02:39,395
Yeah, I wouldn't mind so much.

1243
01:02:39,397 --> 01:02:41,462
It's just that he used to be
my boyfriend.

1244
01:02:41,464 --> 01:02:43,698
He was not!

1245
01:02:43,700 --> 01:02:45,232
And she's my best friend.

1246
01:02:45,234 --> 01:02:47,238
She is not!

1247
01:02:48,370 --> 01:02:49,738
Oh, my God.

1248
01:02:49,740 --> 01:02:53,441
Babe, you are, like,
actually blind.

1249
01:02:53,443 --> 01:02:54,942
Oh, babe.

1250
01:02:54,944 --> 01:02:56,845
Blind as in "can't see" blind?

1251
01:02:56,847 --> 01:02:59,580
It was when I lost my sight
that she moved in on him.

1252
01:02:59,582 --> 01:03:01,750
Shut up.

1253
01:03:01,752 --> 01:03:03,118
Watch us, Penny.

1254
01:03:03,120 --> 01:03:06,390
The way our bodies
move in unison.

1255
01:03:08,758 --> 01:03:10,225
So sensual.

1256
01:03:10,227 --> 01:03:12,894
Right. I'm hitting her
really hard in her vagina.

1257
01:03:12,896 --> 01:03:16,598
It's just if I could work out
some way to get him alone,

1258
01:03:16,600 --> 01:03:18,834
then maybe he wouldn't
call off the wedding.

1259
01:03:18,836 --> 01:03:21,236
You leave it with us,
all right? I mean,

1260
01:03:21,238 --> 01:03:22,803
we are practically
professionals,

1261
01:03:22,805 --> 01:03:24,305
my little blind poppet.

1262
01:03:24,307 --> 01:03:26,242
Girls, toilet.

1263
01:03:38,388 --> 01:03:40,823
That color looks boss on you.

1264
01:03:40,825 --> 01:03:42,059
<i>Danke.</i>

1265
01:03:46,897 --> 01:03:48,096
What is this?

1266
01:03:48,098 --> 01:03:50,499
It's a little thing
we invented called Varma.

1267
01:03:50,501 --> 01:03:51,767
Karma.

1268
01:03:51,769 --> 01:03:52,837
Karma.

1269
01:03:54,571 --> 01:03:55,736
Oh, it is on.

1270
01:03:55,738 --> 01:03:58,141
It is on like Kim Kardashian.

1271
01:04:00,343 --> 01:04:02,009
- Is that nice?
- Yeah, you want some?

1272
01:04:02,011 --> 01:04:03,912
- Oh, uh, yeah, sure.
- Oh, sorry.

1273
01:04:03,914 --> 01:04:05,113
Uh...

1274
01:04:05,115 --> 01:04:07,182
Yeah. Thank you.

1275
01:04:07,184 --> 01:04:09,750
Uh, it's kinda weird
that Dr. Schauffhaussen

1276
01:04:09,752 --> 01:04:11,819
just disappeared
like that, right?

1277
01:04:11,821 --> 01:04:14,154
Germans are so spontaneous.

1278
01:04:14,156 --> 01:04:17,658
It's probably just part of her
crazy treatment plan.

1279
01:04:17,660 --> 01:04:20,162
Yeah, don't give up
on that, Penny, okay?

1280
01:04:20,164 --> 01:04:21,495
I mean, I know that it's hard,

1281
01:04:21,497 --> 01:04:24,131
but there's so much that
you deserve to see.

1282
01:04:24,133 --> 01:04:25,533
Like this view,

1283
01:04:25,535 --> 01:04:27,334
and these lights,

1284
01:04:27,336 --> 01:04:28,770
and the face you make

1285
01:04:28,772 --> 01:04:30,171
when you think
I'm being a dork.

1286
01:04:30,173 --> 01:04:31,872
What, this one?

1287
01:04:31,874 --> 01:04:34,277
Yeah, that one.

1288
01:04:34,877 --> 01:04:36,044
But that one...

1289
01:04:36,046 --> 01:04:37,946
- That one's my favorite.
- What?

1290
01:04:37,948 --> 01:04:40,151
- That one.
- No, what?

1291
01:04:40,716 --> 01:04:42,417
Shut up.

1292
01:04:42,419 --> 01:04:44,118
Well, you'll just
have to take my word for it.

1293
01:04:44,120 --> 01:04:47,187
As the sole sighted person
between us,

1294
01:04:47,189 --> 01:04:48,958
you're beautiful, Penny.

1295
01:04:52,229 --> 01:04:54,830
Anyway, I'm sure
Dr. Schauffhaussen's gonna

1296
01:04:54,832 --> 01:04:56,698
break out
the big psychological guns

1297
01:04:56,700 --> 01:04:59,633
once I actually
give her the fee.

1298
01:04:59,635 --> 01:05:03,370
Oh, um, yeah, about that.
I was gonna say to you,

1299
01:05:03,372 --> 01:05:05,140
is it possible
to give me the money

1300
01:05:05,142 --> 01:05:07,975
and then I'll just give it
to Dr. Schauffhaussen?

1301
01:05:07,977 --> 01:05:11,145
- Oh.
- I know this will sound silly,

1302
01:05:11,147 --> 01:05:14,049
but it would just make me feel
like I'm less of a charity case.

1303
01:05:14,051 --> 01:05:16,718
Totally. I completely
understand. I, um...

1304
01:05:16,720 --> 01:05:21,055
I just have to, uh,
sell the last of my stock.

1305
01:05:21,057 --> 01:05:23,524
Wait, don't you own, like,
the whole company?

1306
01:05:23,526 --> 01:05:26,426
You're, like, so rich.

1307
01:05:26,428 --> 01:05:28,062
- No.
- No?

1308
01:05:28,064 --> 01:05:29,363
No. Um...

1309
01:05:29,365 --> 01:05:32,000
The algorithm
for YaBurnt was mine,

1310
01:05:32,002 --> 01:05:34,736
but the seed investors
actually bought me out.

1311
01:05:34,738 --> 01:05:36,004
Yeah, for how much?

1312
01:05:36,006 --> 01:05:37,906
A cool million.

1313
01:05:37,908 --> 01:05:41,942
Um, but I only have
400,000 left.

1314
01:05:41,944 --> 01:05:45,714
Uh, but it's okay. My nana's gonna...
She's gonna loan me the rest.

1315
01:05:45,716 --> 01:05:49,017
So, after you pay the
Dr. Schauffhaussen fee, you'd be broke?

1316
01:05:49,019 --> 01:05:50,584
Yeah, but it's fine.

1317
01:05:50,586 --> 01:05:52,520
Because I have
a lot of good ideas,

1318
01:05:52,522 --> 01:05:53,724
and hoodies are cheap.

1319
01:05:54,457 --> 01:05:55,557
I don't get it though.

1320
01:05:55,559 --> 01:05:57,125
Why would you
bankrupt yourself

1321
01:05:57,127 --> 01:05:59,259
for someone
you don't even know?

1322
01:05:59,261 --> 01:06:00,895
Like, I'm a stranger.

1323
01:06:00,897 --> 01:06:04,098
Well, my nana...

1324
01:06:04,100 --> 01:06:05,700
My nana always said
that the best thing

1325
01:06:05,702 --> 01:06:07,234
money can do is good.

1326
01:06:07,236 --> 01:06:09,305
And you getting
to see again is good.

1327
01:06:11,140 --> 01:06:13,644
Plus, you're not a stranger.

1328
01:06:14,611 --> 01:06:15,879
You're Penny.

1329
01:06:17,080 --> 01:06:18,282
Yes, I am.

1330
01:06:30,127 --> 01:06:31,462
Honey, I'm home.

1331
01:06:33,330 --> 01:06:34,729
Oh, please.

1332
01:06:34,731 --> 01:06:39,334
You think I can't handle
the Real Housewives of Essex?

1333
01:06:39,336 --> 01:06:41,837
It took a considerable
amount of limoncello

1334
01:06:41,839 --> 01:06:43,437
and several rounds
of arm wrestling,

1335
01:06:43,439 --> 01:06:45,075
but <i>c'est la vie.</i>

1336
01:06:45,943 --> 01:06:47,441
The bet's off, Jo.

1337
01:06:47,443 --> 01:06:48,944
Oh, don't go, Penny.

1338
01:06:48,946 --> 01:06:50,779
You've taught me
so much about love.

1339
01:06:50,781 --> 01:06:52,180
We need to find another mark.

1340
01:06:52,182 --> 01:06:53,915
No, absolutely not.

1341
01:06:53,917 --> 01:06:55,149
I have had about
as much of this

1342
01:06:55,151 --> 01:06:57,120
absurd interlude with you
as I can bear.

1343
01:06:59,955 --> 01:07:01,791
Those are decorative.

1344
01:07:03,160 --> 01:07:04,325
He's a good guy, Jo.

1345
01:07:04,327 --> 01:07:06,361
That's a moxy-noron, Pen.

1346
01:07:06,363 --> 01:07:08,462
Okay, you know,
back in the day

1347
01:07:08,464 --> 01:07:10,365
when I was just catfishing,

1348
01:07:10,367 --> 01:07:13,834
there was always this one
moment where I would decide,

1349
01:07:13,836 --> 01:07:15,472
"I'm gonna take your money."

1350
01:07:16,372 --> 01:07:17,872
And it wasn't when they fell

1351
01:07:17,874 --> 01:07:20,941
for the superficial
hot girl bait

1352
01:07:20,943 --> 01:07:23,845
or when they texted dick pics
like complete animals.

1353
01:07:23,847 --> 01:07:26,714
It was when
we'd meet up in person

1354
01:07:26,716 --> 01:07:28,452
and I'd come in

1355
01:07:29,118 --> 01:07:30,354
and he'd just

1356
01:07:31,620 --> 01:07:33,189
look at me like that.

1357
01:07:37,526 --> 01:07:40,030
And that's when I'd decide
to rob him blind.

1358
01:07:41,999 --> 01:07:45,066
But when Thomas looks at me,
he doesn't do that.

1359
01:07:45,068 --> 01:07:47,401
He's just different.

1360
01:07:47,403 --> 01:07:49,102
He's a genuinely nice person.

1361
01:07:49,104 --> 01:07:50,973
Yeah, but we're not
nice women, Penny, are we?

1362
01:07:50,975 --> 01:07:52,841
And this isn't
a likability contest.

1363
01:07:52,843 --> 01:07:54,408
Lucky for you, 'cause I'd win.

1364
01:07:54,410 --> 01:07:55,509
Would you?

1365
01:07:55,511 --> 01:07:57,647
Please.
Thomas loves me.

1366
01:07:59,749 --> 01:08:01,915
He loves you?

1367
01:08:01,917 --> 01:08:04,151
Like, I mean he'll do
whatever I want.

1368
01:08:04,153 --> 01:08:06,589
Well, then it appears
we have our solution.

1369
01:08:10,327 --> 01:08:13,560
If you don't have
the stomach to take money

1370
01:08:13,562 --> 01:08:15,398
from your darling Thomas,

1371
01:08:16,667 --> 01:08:18,367
darling Thomas
becomes the bet.

1372
01:08:18,369 --> 01:08:20,335
But I thought
you didn't nail your marks.

1373
01:08:20,337 --> 01:08:22,837
Evidently, we must up the ante
in this little game of ours.

1374
01:08:22,839 --> 01:08:25,038
Unless, of course,
you feel you're outmatched.

1375
01:08:25,040 --> 01:08:27,742
Please.
Guys love asses,

1376
01:08:27,744 --> 01:08:30,281
but not when there's something
already stuck up there.

1377
01:08:31,448 --> 01:08:33,215
Then we're agreed.

1378
01:08:33,217 --> 01:08:35,219
Thomas is the bet.

1379
01:08:35,718 --> 01:08:36,720
Yeah.

1380
01:08:39,589 --> 01:08:40,623
Yeah.

1381
01:08:43,459 --> 01:08:45,227
Well, okay.

1382
01:08:45,229 --> 01:08:46,594
I should really get to bed,

1383
01:08:46,596 --> 01:08:49,630
'cause I've got such a big day
of seduction tomorrow.

1384
01:08:49,632 --> 01:08:51,599
Oh, absolutely.

1385
01:08:51,601 --> 01:08:53,033
How about a bedtime story?

1386
01:08:53,035 --> 01:08:55,372
- Oh, no, that's not necessary.
- Albert!

1387
01:08:58,040 --> 01:09:00,441
Oh. Hi.

1388
01:09:00,443 --> 01:09:02,911
- Thank you.
- Oh, that's not good.

1389
01:09:02,913 --> 01:09:04,778
I do so admire their spirit.

1390
01:09:04,780 --> 01:09:06,313
Less so their spray tans.

1391
01:09:06,315 --> 01:09:07,415
Ladies.

1392
01:09:10,052 --> 01:09:11,719
All right, my babe.

1393
01:09:11,721 --> 01:09:12,723
Ah.

1394
01:09:14,891 --> 01:09:17,590
Oh, so you thought
you could play us, yeah?

1395
01:09:17,592 --> 01:09:18,693
Ladies, I can explain.

1396
01:09:18,695 --> 01:09:21,295
Babes, this is not
a good situation for you.

1397
01:09:21,297 --> 01:09:22,831
My cousin's got the blinds

1398
01:09:22,833 --> 01:09:23,997
- from the diabetes.
- Diabetes.

1399
01:09:23,999 --> 01:09:26,167
Don't go to the hotel now, Jo.

1400
01:09:26,169 --> 01:09:28,969
Give it the night. He'll be
more energetic in the morning.

1401
01:09:28,971 --> 01:09:30,404
Oh,
you're not going anywhere.

1402
01:09:30,406 --> 01:09:32,473
Ladies, pass me the superglue.

1403
01:09:41,684 --> 01:09:43,785
- Thomas.
- Dr. Schauffhaussen.

1404
01:09:43,787 --> 01:09:45,653
Please...

1405
01:09:45,655 --> 01:09:47,688
Call me Frederika.

1406
01:09:47,690 --> 01:09:49,189
Okay.

1407
01:09:49,191 --> 01:09:51,694
Oh, God. I'm sorry.

1408
01:09:52,695 --> 01:09:53,796
Come on in.

1409
01:09:54,330 --> 01:09:55,431
Um...

1410
01:10:03,506 --> 01:10:04,508
Thank you.

1411
01:10:05,874 --> 01:10:08,510
A little treat for us.

1412
01:10:08,512 --> 01:10:11,313
We've been working so hard
for sweet Penny.

1413
01:10:11,315 --> 01:10:14,816
We deserve to be
a little selfish, <i>ja?</i>

1414
01:10:14,818 --> 01:10:16,651
Some say these
are an aphrodisiac.

1415
01:10:16,653 --> 01:10:17,986
- Oh, no, thank...
- Oh!

1416
01:10:17,988 --> 01:10:20,020
Oh, God.
I'm so sorry, Doctor...

1417
01:10:20,022 --> 01:10:21,857
No! I got it.
It's fine, it's fine.

1418
01:10:21,859 --> 01:10:23,459
I got it, I got it. It's...

1419
01:10:38,106 --> 01:10:39,109
Thank you.

1420
01:10:42,145 --> 01:10:43,377
Thomas...

1421
01:10:43,379 --> 01:10:45,281
I must be candid.

1422
01:10:46,315 --> 01:10:48,618
I'm here
under false pretenses.

1423
01:10:50,686 --> 01:10:52,322
- You are?
- <i>Ja.</i>

1424
01:10:55,324 --> 01:10:56,392
Okay.

1425
01:11:03,600 --> 01:11:08,002
I hope
this isn't inappropriate,

1426
01:11:08,004 --> 01:11:10,237
but would you help me
with <i>mein</i> coding?

1427
01:11:10,239 --> 01:11:11,505
<i>"Mein</i> coding"?

1428
01:11:11,507 --> 01:11:13,573
<i>Ja,</i> I'm having trouble
with my website.

1429
01:11:13,575 --> 01:11:15,542
- Oh, coding!
- Hmm.

1430
01:11:15,544 --> 01:11:18,179
Yeah, sure. What seems
to be the problem?

1431
01:11:18,181 --> 01:11:19,216
Well...

1432
01:11:20,350 --> 01:11:23,684
When I use JavaScript,
the HTTP crawler

1433
01:11:23,686 --> 01:11:25,754
is not scraping
the metadata correctly

1434
01:11:25,756 --> 01:11:28,355
and I am losing
the CSS properties.

1435
01:11:28,357 --> 01:11:32,428
Well, did you try parsing the
CSS separately using regex?

1436
01:11:34,931 --> 01:11:36,596
I did not.

1437
01:11:36,598 --> 01:11:37,601
Hmm.

1438
01:11:43,239 --> 01:11:46,340
Fixed! Well, it's been
a really long day.

1439
01:11:46,342 --> 01:11:49,242
I'm exhausted, so I'm gonna...

1440
01:11:49,244 --> 01:11:53,080
Are you aware that
it is a full moon tonight?

1441
01:11:53,082 --> 01:11:54,782
Ah.

1442
01:11:54,784 --> 01:11:57,684
I love to feel the air
on my skin.

1443
01:11:57,686 --> 01:11:59,789
Right. Aren't you
kinda cold though?

1444
01:12:03,927 --> 01:12:05,593
What are you doin'?

1445
01:12:05,595 --> 01:12:08,261
I feel reckless tonight,
Thomas.

1446
01:12:08,263 --> 01:12:10,434
Okay, that's not funny.
Can you come inside now?

1447
01:12:11,400 --> 01:12:13,267
If I fell, would you catch me?

1448
01:12:13,269 --> 01:12:14,435
Stop it.

1449
01:12:14,437 --> 01:12:15,439
Don't.

1450
01:12:16,006 --> 01:12:17,007
Don't!

1451
01:12:19,008 --> 01:12:20,843
Oh!

1452
01:12:21,477 --> 01:12:22,542
Thomas.

1453
01:12:22,544 --> 01:12:24,144
- Dr. Schauffhaussen...
- Frederika.

1454
01:12:24,146 --> 01:12:25,778
You've taught me so much
about discipline...

1455
01:12:25,780 --> 01:12:26,947
I can teach you more.

1456
01:12:26,949 --> 01:12:28,616
- ...and integrity.
- <i>Ja,</i> sure.

1457
01:12:28,618 --> 01:12:31,117
I think we should keep things
professional between us.

1458
01:12:31,119 --> 01:12:33,489
- Aw...
- For Penny's sake.

1459
01:12:36,626 --> 01:12:37,694
For Penny's sake?

1460
01:12:40,629 --> 01:12:41,765
Of course.

1461
01:12:43,365 --> 01:12:44,834
Well, I'll just...

1462
01:12:47,136 --> 01:12:48,138
Go.

1463
01:12:59,281 --> 01:13:00,350
<i>Auf Wiedersehen.</i>

1464
01:13:02,953 --> 01:13:03,921
Wait.

1465
01:13:14,530 --> 01:13:16,832
Mmm. Thomas.

1466
01:13:19,468 --> 01:13:23,737
Oh. Albert? Albert.
Hey, man.

1467
01:13:23,739 --> 01:13:25,674
Um... Just a shot in the dark.

1468
01:13:25,676 --> 01:13:28,712
Do you happen to have
superglue remover?

1469
01:13:32,015 --> 01:13:33,717
Holy crap.
How did you have that?

1470
01:13:34,482 --> 01:13:35,916
Yeah, that's awesome.

1471
01:13:35,918 --> 01:13:37,421
Yes. Legend.

1472
01:13:38,422 --> 01:13:39,423
Uh...

1473
01:13:40,356 --> 01:13:41,457
Albert?

1474
01:13:42,691 --> 01:13:44,394
Oh, come on,
that's just cruel!

1475
01:14:01,445 --> 01:14:03,914
Ow!

1476
01:14:12,754 --> 01:14:14,723
Hey, you. Hey.

1477
01:14:14,725 --> 01:14:16,590
Do you know who
Josephine Chesterfield is?

1478
01:14:16,592 --> 01:14:18,059
Or Dr. Schauffhaussen?

1479
01:14:18,061 --> 01:14:19,794
<i>Oui, mademoiselle.</i>
We know all her aliases.

1480
01:14:19,796 --> 01:14:21,263
She's very generous.

1481
01:14:21,897 --> 01:14:22,966
Uh...

1482
01:14:24,734 --> 01:14:27,201
Hmm? All right,
so was she here last night?

1483
01:14:27,203 --> 01:14:29,603
<i>Oui,</i> with the tech boy.

1484
01:14:29,605 --> 01:14:32,242
Damn it. Okay, um...

1485
01:14:33,208 --> 01:14:34,709
Well, wait. When she left,

1486
01:14:34,711 --> 01:14:38,545
did she seem, like,
you know, satisfied?

1487
01:14:38,547 --> 01:14:40,980
Like, you know, like,
she'd got some?

1488
01:14:40,982 --> 01:14:42,883
- Oh, no.
- No?

1489
01:14:42,885 --> 01:14:44,320
She hasn't left yet.

1490
01:15:08,610 --> 01:15:12,147
Yeah, I know you won.
I'm getting outta here.

1491
01:15:12,149 --> 01:15:14,514
Uh... What did I...
What did I win?

1492
01:15:14,516 --> 01:15:17,117
Thomas,
what are you doing here?

1493
01:15:17,119 --> 01:15:20,122
I'm here
to say goodbye.

1494
01:15:21,423 --> 01:15:23,791
Where's Dr. Schauffhaussen,
then?

1495
01:15:23,793 --> 01:15:26,161
Um... I don't know.

1496
01:15:26,163 --> 01:15:28,929
This morning,
she kind of left in a hurry

1497
01:15:28,931 --> 01:15:31,268
and now I have to go.

1498
01:15:32,368 --> 01:15:34,135
The investors are, um,

1499
01:15:34,137 --> 01:15:35,202
they're flying me home.

1500
01:15:35,204 --> 01:15:36,737
I just needed to say,

1501
01:15:36,739 --> 01:15:39,006
Penny, you're the one genuine,

1502
01:15:39,008 --> 01:15:40,976
good thing that happened
to me here.

1503
01:15:45,647 --> 01:15:47,316
Anyway, um...

1504
01:15:49,351 --> 01:15:50,352
Bye, Penny.

1505
01:15:57,360 --> 01:15:58,862
Thomas, wait! Don't go!

1506
01:16:10,338 --> 01:16:11,675
Penny!

1507
01:16:12,909 --> 01:16:15,009
Oh, my God!
Penny, are you okay?

1508
01:16:15,011 --> 01:16:17,143
This has been a brutal week.

1509
01:16:21,318 --> 01:16:22,284
Dick.

1510
01:16:24,820 --> 01:16:28,024
Wait, Penny,
could you just see Albert?

1511
01:16:29,025 --> 01:16:30,125
Uh...

1512
01:16:30,127 --> 01:16:32,262
Did you just look at me?
Can you see me?

1513
01:16:33,995 --> 01:16:35,563
Is your hair brownish?

1514
01:16:35,565 --> 01:16:37,234
Yes! Yes, it is!

1515
01:16:38,400 --> 01:16:39,500
Wait, Penny.

1516
01:16:39,502 --> 01:16:41,033
Can you read that?

1517
01:16:41,035 --> 01:16:42,670
No, that's in French.

1518
01:16:42,672 --> 01:16:44,438
Oh. Sorry.

1519
01:16:44,440 --> 01:16:45,872
What about this?

1520
01:16:45,874 --> 01:16:48,709
"Social anxiety. You're not
the problem, the world is."

1521
01:16:48,711 --> 01:16:50,879
Yes! Penny, you can see!

1522
01:16:50,881 --> 01:16:52,612
I can finally see your face!

1523
01:16:52,614 --> 01:16:55,749
- Oh, that's probably a bummer.
- No, come off it!

1524
01:16:55,751 --> 01:16:58,551
- You got such a nice face.
- Oh.

1525
01:16:58,553 --> 01:17:01,421
I guess
Dr. Schauffhaussen's money

1526
01:17:01,423 --> 01:17:02,825
was put to good use, huh?

1527
01:17:04,459 --> 01:17:06,693
What do you mean?

1528
01:17:06,695 --> 01:17:08,862
You didn't give her
the 500,000, did you?

1529
01:17:08,864 --> 01:17:10,130
Yeah, of course.

1530
01:17:10,132 --> 01:17:12,099
I wanted to make sure that
your treatment continued.

1531
01:17:12,101 --> 01:17:14,469
No, no. But that was
all that you had.

1532
01:17:14,471 --> 01:17:17,871
It was worth
every penny, Penny.

1533
01:17:21,144 --> 01:17:23,077
Wait a minute.
I don't understand.

1534
01:17:23,079 --> 01:17:25,479
You're giving me $500,000?

1535
01:17:25,481 --> 01:17:27,247
My sister just won
the lottery in Australia.

1536
01:17:27,249 --> 01:17:29,282
And she used my birthday
and my bra size,

1537
01:17:29,284 --> 01:17:30,484
so she owes me.

1538
01:17:30,486 --> 01:17:32,719
I can't let you cover
my medical expenses.

1539
01:17:32,721 --> 01:17:35,224
Well, regardless,
I cannot accept this.

1540
01:17:37,126 --> 01:17:38,925
Thomas, no, I insist.

1541
01:17:38,927 --> 01:17:40,162
Well, I resist.

1542
01:17:42,832 --> 01:17:45,633
Stop. It's a $2 transaction
fee every time.

1543
01:17:45,635 --> 01:17:48,135
Oh, shit. Well,
it's in your account now.

1544
01:17:48,137 --> 01:17:49,573
No take-backs.

1545
01:17:51,507 --> 01:17:52,605
Okay.

1546
01:17:52,607 --> 01:17:53,642
Penny...

1547
01:17:54,977 --> 01:17:57,178
Do you wanna come?

1548
01:17:57,180 --> 01:17:59,513
- Come with me.
- I'm not coming with you.

1549
01:17:59,515 --> 01:18:00,617
Why not?

1550
01:18:01,816 --> 01:18:03,520
'Cause you don't know me.

1551
01:18:04,954 --> 01:18:06,356
Not the real me.

1552
01:18:07,824 --> 01:18:10,124
Well, I'd like to,

1553
01:18:10,126 --> 01:18:11,861
if you ever change your mind.

1554
01:18:21,137 --> 01:18:22,138
All right.

1555
01:18:31,547 --> 01:18:32,980
What have you done?

1556
01:18:32,982 --> 01:18:34,648
How could you let him leave?

1557
01:18:34,650 --> 01:18:35,950
What are you
talking about?

1558
01:18:35,952 --> 01:18:37,251
You won the bet.

1559
01:18:37,253 --> 01:18:39,319
Stop!

1560
01:18:39,321 --> 01:18:42,990
Come back! Come back!
Come back! No! No!

1561
01:18:45,861 --> 01:18:50,029
Aw, the plane didn't
stop for the crazy lady.

1562
01:18:50,031 --> 01:18:51,264
Here she comes.

1563
01:18:51,266 --> 01:18:56,105
Walk of shame. Walk of shame.
Walk of shame.

1564
01:18:57,006 --> 01:18:58,538
Last night I went to his room

1565
01:18:58,540 --> 01:19:00,407
and, yes,
I tried to seduce him.

1566
01:19:00,409 --> 01:19:01,742
And I thought I was
getting somewhere, too,

1567
01:19:01,744 --> 01:19:03,044
because he turned out
the lights,

1568
01:19:03,046 --> 01:19:05,211
but it was only to show me
a PowerPoint presentation

1569
01:19:05,213 --> 01:19:06,546
all about his new app.

1570
01:19:06,548 --> 01:19:08,014
Once he had
finished his pitch,

1571
01:19:08,016 --> 01:19:09,515
I assumed we'd go to bed.

1572
01:19:09,517 --> 01:19:11,385
Then he said
he's bit of a germophobe,

1573
01:19:11,387 --> 01:19:13,754
so would I mind
taking a shower,

1574
01:19:13,756 --> 01:19:15,355
and I was insulted,

1575
01:19:15,357 --> 01:19:17,758
but I complied
for the sake of the bet.

1576
01:19:17,760 --> 01:19:20,027
And when I emerged, he was
gone, my clothes were gone,

1577
01:19:20,029 --> 01:19:21,429
my jewelry,
my phone, my laptop,

1578
01:19:21,431 --> 01:19:23,800
even my limited edition
Jimmy Choos!

1579
01:19:26,336 --> 01:19:28,738
Come off it.

1580
01:19:29,571 --> 01:19:30,904
You expect me to believe

1581
01:19:30,906 --> 01:19:34,341
that that kind guy tried to
jack your Jimmy Choos

1582
01:19:34,343 --> 01:19:36,777
when he just
returned to me $500,000

1583
01:19:36,779 --> 01:19:37,781
that I tried to give him?

1584
01:19:40,216 --> 01:19:42,550
Why did you give him $500,000?

1585
01:19:42,552 --> 01:19:45,018
Because that's the amount
you stole from him.

1586
01:19:45,020 --> 01:19:46,254
No!

1587
01:19:46,256 --> 01:19:48,054
That is what I'm saying,
tits for brains!

1588
01:19:48,056 --> 01:19:49,423
I didn't steal from him.

1589
01:19:49,425 --> 01:19:52,028
I invested in his app!

1590
01:19:52,695 --> 01:19:53,760
How much?

1591
01:19:53,762 --> 01:19:56,964
$500,000.

1592
01:19:58,234 --> 01:19:59,369
It's from Thomas.

1593
01:19:59,936 --> 01:20:01,635
No!

1594
01:20:01,637 --> 01:20:03,571
Let me see! Let me see!

1595
01:20:03,573 --> 01:20:05,037
"Penny, I honestly meant
what I said just now,

1596
01:20:05,039 --> 01:20:06,206
but here's the thing.

1597
01:20:06,208 --> 01:20:08,709
Con artists make
the best marks of all.

1598
01:20:08,711 --> 01:20:11,944
I was taught that by my nana.
Or as you may know her...

1599
01:20:11,946 --> 01:20:13,313
Medusa."

1600
01:20:15,650 --> 01:20:16,916
That means...

1601
01:20:16,918 --> 01:20:18,952
You're Thomas's nana.

1602
01:20:18,954 --> 01:20:21,854
- Oh, you sick perv!
- No! Christ, Penny!

1603
01:20:21,856 --> 01:20:23,756
Clearly, Thomas's nana
was Medusa,

1604
01:20:23,758 --> 01:20:26,227
and she passed the torch on to
him and now he's the new Medusa.

1605
01:20:26,229 --> 01:20:27,828
What is wrong with you?

1606
01:20:27,830 --> 01:20:30,199
He didn't transfer me
the Bitcoin back.

1607
01:20:32,068 --> 01:20:33,834
He still has my 500,000.

1608
01:20:33,836 --> 01:20:35,872
And my 500,000.

1609
01:20:37,906 --> 01:20:41,011
Did we just give that boy
a million dollars?

1610
01:20:42,211 --> 01:20:45,245
Are you kidding me?

1611
01:20:45,247 --> 01:20:47,246
- Of all the lying...
- No!

1612
01:20:47,248 --> 01:20:49,116
...two-faced, conniving,

1613
01:20:49,118 --> 01:20:51,118
- cheating, slimy...
- Dude, are you serious?

1614
01:20:51,120 --> 01:20:52,252
...millennial bastard
hacker grifter...

1615
01:20:52,254 --> 01:20:53,319
I'm so angry
and horny right now!

1616
01:20:53,321 --> 01:20:54,921
...shit-stain assholes,

1617
01:20:54,923 --> 01:20:56,493
he is the worst!

1618
01:21:02,531 --> 01:21:05,635
But he is kinda awesome,
too, right?

1619
01:21:28,024 --> 01:21:32,225
Albert, I'm sorry for calling
your balls skeletal.

1620
01:21:32,227 --> 01:21:34,364
I know there's nothing
hard down there.

1621
01:21:34,930 --> 01:21:35,999
Suck it.

1622
01:21:47,510 --> 01:21:49,809
Thanks for letting me
stay the extra two weeks.

1623
01:21:49,811 --> 01:21:51,612
One more than agreed upon.

1624
01:21:51,614 --> 01:21:54,148
Yeah, it was cozy, wasn't it?

1625
01:21:54,150 --> 01:21:55,752
Mmm!

1626
01:21:58,687 --> 01:22:00,556
What will
your next chapter be?

1627
01:22:01,824 --> 01:22:05,192
I was thinking
of going to Thailand.

1628
01:22:05,194 --> 01:22:06,859
Maybe Bangkok

1629
01:22:06,861 --> 01:22:08,498
or Phuket.

1630
01:22:10,766 --> 01:22:12,398
Phuket.

1631
01:22:12,400 --> 01:22:14,501
No, that's not how you say it.

1632
01:22:22,078 --> 01:22:23,609
What's this?

1633
01:22:23,611 --> 01:22:27,313
It's your cut of the
"Lord of the Rings" con.

1634
01:22:27,315 --> 01:22:30,017
- Oh!
- Minus expenses, of course.

1635
01:22:30,019 --> 01:22:33,219
Wardrobe, catering,
prosthetics, et cetera.

1636
01:22:33,221 --> 01:22:35,855
And the cost of the vases
that you broke.

1637
01:22:35,857 --> 01:22:37,558
And the plumbing issues
I caused.

1638
01:22:37,560 --> 01:22:39,428
- What?
- Hmm?

1639
01:22:50,705 --> 01:22:51,774
<i>Au revoir.</i>

1640
01:22:58,114 --> 01:23:01,048
Yello! Make a hole,
people. Make a hole.

1641
01:23:01,050 --> 01:23:02,750
'Scuse me, comin' through.

1642
01:23:02,752 --> 01:23:04,751
Come on, Ritchie
comin' through, baby.

1643
01:23:04,753 --> 01:23:07,121
'Scuse me, 'scuse me.
Thank you very much.

1644
01:23:07,123 --> 01:23:09,290
Okay, yeah.
Thank you very much.

1645
01:23:09,292 --> 01:23:11,157
All right. Okay.

1646
01:23:11,159 --> 01:23:12,960
Intros.

1647
01:23:12,962 --> 01:23:14,760
Cathy! Cathy, baby,
you get that

1648
01:23:14,762 --> 01:23:16,264
rock-hard caboose
up here this minute.

1649
01:23:16,266 --> 01:23:17,630
Ritchie, slow down!

1650
01:23:17,632 --> 01:23:19,233
I have to catch my breath.

1651
01:23:19,235 --> 01:23:20,300
Oh, shut it, doll.

1652
01:23:20,302 --> 01:23:22,236
You're in mint condition
and you know it.

1653
01:23:22,238 --> 01:23:24,804
Okay, so here's the story.

1654
01:23:24,806 --> 01:23:28,442
I was showing Cathy here
some luxury property in Capri,

1655
01:23:28,444 --> 01:23:29,843
when I realized
that this lady's

1656
01:23:29,845 --> 01:23:31,478
got some high-class taste.

1657
01:23:31,480 --> 01:23:33,647
And I don't just mean
for real estate, nope.

1658
01:23:33,649 --> 01:23:35,515
Cathy's an animal lover, see,

1659
01:23:35,517 --> 01:23:38,152
but she doesn't just like
regular doggies and birdies.

1660
01:23:38,154 --> 01:23:41,855
She likes special furry
friends who are maybe, oh,

1661
01:23:41,857 --> 01:23:43,823
a little illegal.
Is that right, Cathy?

1662
01:23:43,825 --> 01:23:46,327
Yes it is. Now, Cathy, what is
it you wanted to start?

1663
01:23:46,329 --> 01:23:48,328
It was a monastery
or something?

1664
01:23:48,330 --> 01:23:50,930
A rare animal sanctuary
and spa.

1665
01:23:50,932 --> 01:23:52,133
I love it.

1666
01:23:52,135 --> 01:23:53,434
So I say to Cathy,

1667
01:23:53,436 --> 01:23:54,867
"You'll have to meet
my friends."

1668
01:23:54,869 --> 01:23:56,402
We hopped in the dinghy,

1669
01:23:56,404 --> 01:23:58,673
we set sail, and here we are!

1670
01:23:58,675 --> 01:24:01,942
Cathy, I want y'all to meet
South Africa's

1671
01:24:01,944 --> 01:24:05,645
most celebrated and discreet
endangered species dealer,

1672
01:24:05,647 --> 01:24:08,016
Imka Bekker.

1673
01:24:16,659 --> 01:24:18,059
Say, what's wrong, Imka?

1674
01:24:18,061 --> 01:24:20,063
Exotic cat got your tongue?

1675
01:24:23,399 --> 01:24:25,233
No.

1676
01:24:25,235 --> 01:24:26,701
Howzit, Cathy?

1677
01:24:26,703 --> 01:24:29,870
It's such a pleasure to meet
a fellow wildlife enthusiast.

1678
01:24:29,872 --> 01:24:31,404
I love the springboks, myself.

1679
01:24:31,406 --> 01:24:32,673
Oh! Me too. Me too.

1680
01:24:32,675 --> 01:24:34,575
Look at me
being a total jackass.

1681
01:24:34,577 --> 01:24:37,877
I forgot to introduce Imka's
right-hand woman.

1682
01:24:37,879 --> 01:24:40,080
Ladies and gentlemen,
if y'all ever need

1683
01:24:40,082 --> 01:24:42,716
a crocodile just wrestled
into submission,

1684
01:24:42,718 --> 01:24:45,254
Sheila Malarkey is your gal.

1685
01:24:46,823 --> 01:24:49,389
Oh, but Sheila lost
her tongue tragically

1686
01:24:49,391 --> 01:24:54,163
to a very small but ferocious
red-crested wombat.

1687
01:24:55,330 --> 01:24:56,865
God bless her soul.

1688
01:24:57,667 --> 01:24:59,867
Shame.

1689
01:24:59,869 --> 01:25:02,538
She can sign, though.
Can't you, Sheila?

1690
01:25:04,205 --> 01:25:05,842
Yes.

1691
01:25:06,609 --> 01:25:08,111
Yes, she can.

1692
01:25:13,949 --> 01:25:16,416
- Okey-dokey.
- Yoh. Okay, okay.

1693
01:25:16,418 --> 01:25:17,550
What's she saying?

1694
01:25:17,552 --> 01:25:18,618
Okey-dokey.

1695
01:25:18,620 --> 01:25:20,286
She says, everyone, please,

1696
01:25:20,288 --> 01:25:24,224
up to the house and please
enjoy some of her ice cream.

1697
01:25:24,226 --> 01:25:25,425
That's right,
ladies and gentlemen.

1698
01:25:25,427 --> 01:25:26,593
Who likes ice cream?

1699
01:25:26,595 --> 01:25:27,862
I scream, you scream.

1700
01:25:27,864 --> 01:25:29,929
Everybody follow me,
ladies and gentlemen.

1701
01:25:29,931 --> 01:25:31,799
We're headin' up this
stone path, right here.

1702
01:25:31,801 --> 01:25:33,000
Cathy, take this.

1703
01:25:33,002 --> 01:25:34,902
Everybody, look at Cathy.
She's the alpha dog.

1704
01:25:34,904 --> 01:25:37,237
I want you to follow her
all the way up.

1705
01:25:37,239 --> 01:25:39,540
Keep going! At the top,
you're gonna find a little penguin man.

1706
01:25:39,542 --> 01:25:41,309
He's gonna spark the fuse
on the barbecue, baby,

1707
01:25:41,311 --> 01:25:43,876
'cause we're havin'
red meat, baby!

1708
01:25:55,925 --> 01:25:58,725
This year I made $6 million.

1709
01:25:58,727 --> 01:26:00,126
So far.

1710
01:26:00,128 --> 01:26:01,296
Impressive.

1711
01:26:01,997 --> 01:26:03,464
How irritating.

1712
01:26:03,466 --> 01:26:06,500
But together,
we could make so much more.

1713
01:26:06,502 --> 01:26:08,835
So much more.

1714
01:26:08,837 --> 01:26:12,104
You guys are fantastic
at what you do.

1715
01:26:12,106 --> 01:26:15,075
My nana would
absolutely love you.

1716
01:26:15,077 --> 01:26:16,943
The three of us...

1717
01:26:16,945 --> 01:26:18,980
that'd be one hell of a team.

1718
01:26:26,154 --> 01:26:27,520
You played me.

1719
01:26:27,522 --> 01:26:32,095
Penny, the only thing I never
lied about was you.

1720
01:26:43,506 --> 01:26:44,606
Listen...

1721
01:26:46,109 --> 01:26:48,175
First million pays us back.

1722
01:26:48,177 --> 01:26:50,611
The second million
will be your apology.

1723
01:26:50,613 --> 01:26:53,045
Yeah, and if you ever
double-cross us again,

1724
01:26:53,047 --> 01:26:55,816
I withhold sex
for a whole year.

1725
01:26:55,818 --> 01:26:57,017
Or six months.

1726
01:26:57,019 --> 01:26:59,886
No, let's go with 24 hours.

1727
01:26:59,888 --> 01:27:01,287
For like...

1728
01:27:01,289 --> 01:27:04,858
Until midmorning,
I will not be open as a shop.

1729
01:27:04,860 --> 01:27:06,160
- You done?
- Okay.

1730
01:27:06,162 --> 01:27:08,062
So don't cross us ever again.

1731
01:27:08,064 --> 01:27:09,496
Deal.

1732
01:27:09,498 --> 01:27:11,801
So, are we doin' this?

1733
01:27:21,244 --> 01:27:22,977
Come on!
They went down this way.

1734
01:27:22,979 --> 01:27:23,980
Hurry up!

1735
01:27:32,520 --> 01:27:34,353
Damn it! We lost them.

1736
01:27:34,355 --> 01:27:36,523
How could you lose them?

1737
01:27:36,525 --> 01:27:39,192
How could you
give 'em £200,000?

1738
01:27:39,194 --> 01:27:42,028
Uh, designer nipples
are not cheap.

1739
01:27:42,030 --> 01:27:44,031
Plus, that's like
500 American dollars.

1740
01:27:44,033 --> 01:27:46,767
- It really isn't.
- Hey! Hey, buddy!

1741
01:27:46,769 --> 01:27:49,102
Did you see two women
run by here a minute ago?

1742
01:27:49,104 --> 01:27:52,673
Oh, uh, yeah,
with massive wads of cash?

1743
01:27:52,675 --> 01:27:53,773
- Yeah.
- Yeah.

1744
01:27:53,775 --> 01:27:55,041
Uh, they ran that way.

1745
01:27:55,043 --> 01:27:56,742
Well, let's go!

1746
01:27:56,744 --> 01:27:59,414
Come on!
Radio for backup or somethin'.

1747
01:28:10,359 --> 01:28:13,129
Lucky Christmas dress,
you did it again.

1748
01:28:16,464 --> 01:28:18,564
I must say, Penny,

1749
01:28:18,566 --> 01:28:21,270
these outfits
are terribly clever.

1750
01:28:22,604 --> 01:28:24,006
Old but gold.

1751
01:28:25,941 --> 01:28:28,242
Happy Christmas.

1752
01:28:28,244 --> 01:28:29,542
Thomas, I got you a present.

1753
01:28:29,544 --> 01:28:30,777
Thank you, Santa.

1754
01:28:30,779 --> 01:28:32,447
Oh, I'm still here.

1755
01:32:03,624 --> 01:32:05,925
Hortense, is that
what that's used for?

1756
01:32:05,927 --> 01:32:07,794
I don't see any butter
on that knife.

1757
01:32:07,796 --> 01:32:10,796
Now, Enrique, you were saying
that even though you yourself

1758
01:32:10,798 --> 01:32:13,832
have benefited economically
from immigrating to America,

1759
01:32:13,834 --> 01:32:16,169
you don't feel
any additional Guatemalans

1760
01:32:16,171 --> 01:32:17,703
should be allowed
into Palm Beach?

1761
01:32:17,705 --> 01:32:20,473
Yes, I believe we're at the
tipping point in this moment...

1762
01:32:20,475 --> 01:32:22,276
What ist thou looking at?

1763
01:32:22,278 --> 01:32:24,644
Stop skulking in the corner.

1764
01:32:24,646 --> 01:32:27,980
Thy had thy hand
on Rosalind's bosom!

1765
01:32:27,982 --> 01:32:29,515
Dost thou deny it?

1766
01:32:29,517 --> 01:32:31,684
Oh, sweet Hortense
had her suitor's body exhumed

1767
01:32:31,686 --> 01:32:33,521
the day after he was trampled.

1768
01:32:34,221 --> 01:32:35,721
It's folly, though.

1769
01:32:35,723 --> 01:32:37,323
The family
will never accept him.

1770
01:32:37,325 --> 01:32:39,392
You just don't like him
because he's black.

1771
01:32:39,394 --> 01:32:42,161
Sister, may I please sing
my song now?

1772
01:32:42,163 --> 01:32:43,830
Ooh, yes, of course,
darling, of course.

1773
01:32:43,832 --> 01:32:46,698
Hortense has written a song
to celebrate our engagement.

1774
01:32:46,700 --> 01:32:48,301
Isn't that marvelous?

1775
01:32:48,303 --> 01:32:50,103
No, wait, I wanted the lute.

1776
01:32:50,105 --> 01:32:51,705
It is the lute.

1777
01:32:51,707 --> 01:32:52,708
Hmm.

1778
01:32:55,043 --> 01:32:58,647
All right, this is
a Hortense original.

1779
01:33:08,422 --> 01:33:09,522
<i>♪ Wedding! ♪</i>

1780
01:33:13,328 --> 01:33:14,330
<i>♪ Death! ♪</i>

1781
01:33:17,865 --> 01:33:20,802
She had the finest
tutors, but you can't teach talent.

1782
01:33:22,704 --> 01:33:24,205
Bon appetit!

1783
01:33:25,424 --> 01:33:30,424
Subtitles by explosiveskull